Yes, my boss at work is retiring and she plans to turn her computer in today, although officially she hasn't retired until Monday. Am I jealous? Somewhat. Am I happy for her? Absolutely! She is ten years YOUNGER than me and she gets to retire and enjoy life. That is so awesome. I don't regret having to work, I really don't. I work from home, which is very convenient. I pretty much have freedom to take time off work (like today, going to lunch with my son) whenever I want/need to (taking hubby to doctor appointments). I have a great job and work for a great company. I like those I work with. It's a great place to be.
But what would my day look like if I ever DID retire? Reality? The only change is that I wouldn't be sitting in front of the computer at 7am, planning on how my work day would come out. Seriously. That would be the only change. Hubby would be happy I wasn't working, because then he could take me to breakfast or lunch occasionally without me grumbling about time away from work. Of course, then we probably couldn't afford to go out to eat much. LOL I am already in the house nearly 24x7 every single day.... so not much will change. If I need to do something, most days I can break away to do it. My biggest fear, if you will call it that, is that I will lose myself.
Yes, I can still crochet/knit, bake (but who for?), do my diamond art without work interruptions, other craft projects.... but no interactions with others will cause me to die inside. Does that make sense? It's been hard enough working from home (thank you, COVID) and have limited contact with those I work with. In the office I was taking walks with friends on breaks, eating lunch with them, sitting in offices and asking questions or just catching up. I was much, much more social than I am now. I feel I have been like a bug - squashed - except for those times I can 'run away' and visit my boss or other friends alone. Does that make sense? Am I feeling sorry for myself? It's just been my life for the past five/six years and I feel my life has been sucked out of me.
Of course today is going to be amazing cause I get to spend time with one of my boys. Any time I can spend alone with my kids or grandchildren - or even great-grandchildren, puts me on a high. ;-) I feel like I can 'come to life' for a little while again. I was chatting with Sue, my boss, this morning. Sigh. I told her this was the last time I could Teams message her 'good morning' as she plans to turn her computer in today. We chatted a bit and I told her I was having lunch with my son, and had considered taking 1/2 day off so we wouldn't watch the clock. She told me no, not to 'take' 1/2 day off, but enjoy my lunch with my son. Tonight they are having a 'surprise' retirement for our division president - he also is retiring on Monday, officially. I'm sure he is aware of it by now, but it's been a surprise. I am not going as it is downtown, but I have sent him a retirement card and he responded. We are 'friends' but I'm way out on the outer circle of those friends, ya know? Anyway, Sue is going to go - so will drop her computer and badge off on her way there. I don't do downtown if I can avoid it. And I can avoid this. Happy retirement to them both. (Sue and I already have scheduled for December 4th, I think it is, when we go to the Christmas Ideas House. Already have it scheduled off and she approved. :-) )
After the Christmas Ideas House, Sue, Dr. K and Nancy meet December 5th (two days in a row with Sue!) and then I'll meet up with just Sue on December 23rd - I told her to give me a list of the goodies she wants for Christmas. LOL She says every year (and I've given her things over the past several years as part of her Christmas gifts) her kids come over and look at something and ask "Did N make this?" and when she says "yes", they dive into it. Makes my heart smile. I told her to give me a list this year cause I wasn't going to make everything like I did last year. I wore myself out. I do need to write all these recipes down. Hey - that would make a great gift for Sue this year - a card with all the recipes I've made her over the years on it. Yeah, I can do that! Need to write that down!
One of my dreams has been to make a recipe book for my children/grandchildren of my favorite recipes over the years. Or just recipes I like. I keep thinking it, but have never followed through. And then I think, well, when I retire, I will have the time..... yeah. I won't have much more time than I do now, right? It's what I do to fill up that time. And here I go rambling again, right?
As I was reading this morning a verse stood out to me and daggone it, I always have to pause and ask forgiveness, cause I know I fail in this area a lot of times. And you know you do too. We talk about people a lot, and not always in the best terms.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV): Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Is anyone saying 'ouch' besides me? Do I need to even elaborate on what that means? I think it pretty much speaks for itself, doesn't it? We all do it, well, most of us. Usually without thinking. We are just 'sharing a prayer request', or 'sharing needed information', right? We really don't mean to say something BAD about anyone, right? But we do it by the words we use. Sometimes I do catch myself getting ready to say something and then I get convicted on the spot and just shut my mouth. But many times, on the inside, I'm hoping whomever I'm talking to will just say, 'it's ok, go ahead and tell me'. Ever found yourself in that predicament?
Tonight is a 'worship night' at church, and we have an awesome worship team, so we are going. At least that is the plan right now. My 'social hour' too. LOL That's how I meet people at church. Which reminds me, and I may have told you this the other day. I mentioned to Morgan on Tuesday that I was thinking of doing a bible study here at home on Tuesday nights. Immediately she said, "I'll come!" That almost caused me to stutter, for I didn't expect that! So I have been thinking more about it, and who I could 'invite' that would be around Morgan's age (30-ish) so that she wouldn't feel the youngest, you know what I mean. I don't want to get ... well, if you read between the lines, and have read enough of my comments over time, you know what the rest of that sentence is.
Anyway, this morning in my prayer time I kind of threw out a fleece. I really do want to have women friends that I can trust and they can trust each other. I don't necessarily want just a 30's age group, but maybe 30-60? Anyway, my sort - of - fleece to God was "If You want me to start this women's bible study, someone from church will come up to me and ask if I'm going to start a bible study, that she is interested". It doesn't have to be tonight, or anytime soon, but I don't want to start a group because I want to start a group. I want to start a group because God says it's time to have a group. Does that make sense?
All of us are at different stages in our lives. All of us have different needs. I always was reluctant to be involved in women's groups as a leader because sometimes, just sometimes, they will call in the middle of the night if they are in a crisis or need to talk with someone. Unfortunately, early in my married life, I learned that hubby does not appreciate being awakened in the middle of the night (think landline phone that always had to be on his side of the bed) by someone who wanted to talk to me. My little brother used to call me in the middle of the night drunk.... luckily that ended after a few times. The phone calls, that is. Anyway - I threw the fleece out; let's see what God does with it. And if that doesn't happen, it doesn't really mean I shouldn't start a women's study in my home.... I need to wait for His timing.
That scripture could possibly be used in a message or a bible study, ya think?
And with that, I need to get off here as I do have some work to do before my son arrives. I pray you have an amazing day, and be kind to others; you don't know what they are going through.
Blessings!
