She made me sweat!

 I had HIIT yesterday morning and Morgan didn't even take her clipboard - she made it up as we went along!  That is always dangerous when you have Morgan as a trainer!  Let's see, what did I do?  Oh - yeah, we started with the ropes.  Bend knees, move arms in and out, moving the ropes.  Two sets.  30 seconds each.  Oh, then, let's do 10 jumping jacks. She knows I hate them. I hated jumping jacks in PE in high school.  I still don't like them.  Now let's move on to the 25# ball that you squat, pick up, and roll over one shoulder, then squat, pick up, and roll over the other shoulder.  Then let's move on to the 10# flat ball in which you squat, pick up the ball, raise above your head, and slam it to the ground.  (that has helped when I have been angry at 'someone' and needed to get it out of my system!)  From there let's move on to a 16 lb kettlebell in each hand, and walking the length of the hall and when I get to the end, continuing to hold the kettlebells, squat for 30 seconds, then continue walking back.  And lastly, there is the step.  Holding the 10# ball out in front, step on with both feet, then step off with both feet.  30 seconds.  And then, let's start with the ropes and do it again!!  I was dripping sweat - and I don't sweat!!  My hair was wet!  And Morgan laughed and said she was doing her job.  But she did say that with two sets of all these that my stamina has increased greatly.  I certainly hope something has increased!  It was a good HIIT.

I should have taken a shower when I got home, but did not cause I needed to get on the work computer. Now I have to jump in the shower this morning as today will be a busy day - at least this morning.  I have an orthodontist appointment to get new liners and see how these did the first two weeks of wearing them. I know they gave me a lot of headaches so they have to be moving my teeth. It has kept me from snacking so much.  I can't wear them while drinking anything other than water (which means I take them out every morning to drink my coffee and brush my teeth before putting them back on)  Then out for any meal.  I can't even drink my tea without taking them out. It's a nuisance, but I'm obeying the instructions as best I can.  Drink only water with them in.  Wear 24x7 as much as possible.  Any food or any other drink, take them out.  If I understand correctly, today I should get enough liners for a month or so, changing out every two weeks, then go back for them to check ... I don't know for sure, obviously; I've only worn these liners two weeks. 

Once I get back home, it will be to check messages on the computer then at 10a head out with hubby to Tempe to take him to the dental lab. I'm hoping it will only take a few minutes and they aren't running behind or anything.  I didn't take the day off as I thought I might.  Just didn't want to waste (in my opinion) my day driving him to appointments if I'd only be gone a couple hours.  I rarely eat lunch away from the desk so technically, I have made up my time many times over.  Now I do consider taking the day off to have lunch with my son.... don't think I will, but am considering it, even now.  I need to see if there are other things I need to do and if so, I'll make that decision.  I want to not watch the clock... but it will also depend if I have things for work that need to be done.  I have time to make that decision.  

Did you realize how powerful prayer is?  Sometimes we take prayer for granted and just blurt out a few words and consider it 'done'.  I've been beating myself up for some time now.  For years I would go into my quiet time and fall on my knees and spend hours (yes, literally hours) praying.  Never worried about falling back to sleep.  Over the years, one of the mentors I had shared that she wrote out her prayers and how it was good to look back and see how God has answered those prayers.  I understood that, so I started writing out my prayers, versus getting on my knees.  And I have regretted it ever sine.  Why? Not because God doesn't answer when I write them out, He does still answer my prayers.  BUT.... I feel I have lost the closeness I always felt when on my face before Him.  I'm being honest here, but does that make sense?  

That is one reason I want to teach Discipleship or another class.  I pray the most when I need His help in doing things.  Teaching a class forces me to focus, to seek Jesus's hand, to seek His face.  I am totally dependent upon Jesus to get through a class - or preaching for that matter.  Some books will grab me and I get on my face to talk with Jesus.... but the next day or so, here I am back in my chair, a shawl over my shoulders, a blanket over my legs, cup of coffee on the table, and I'm snuggled in..... comfortable.  Why would I want to get up?

Yes, I know I'm rambling... but continuing on....I have no medical condition that keeps me off my knees.  The only condition I have is laziness.  I know part of my 'issue' is the waiting for hubby to get up and bring in my coffee.  He has insisted on doing that for years and it's easier not to 'argue' with him that I can get my own coffee, if I want it.  But I've noticed in the past year or so... like this morning, as I sat here writing out my prayer for today, (it's usually about that time when he comes in), he comes in and starts talking to me. How did I sleep? He didn't sleep well. Did he keep me awake? He's sorry if he did. I don't really have to respond to him. He will continue to tell me how he tossed and turned, how many times he got up, and what time did we want to leave for.... and then he will walk out. I've lost my train of thought in my prayers.  Even in writing them out.  I've tried doing prayers first, but I'm still sleepy and I do tend to want to keep the eyes closed and go back to sleep.  And have.  So I do my reading first. Then write out my prayers.  Hubby will sometimes get up right after I do, and other times he will sleep in another 30-60 minutes.   Why am I telling you all this?  I don't know.

I guess I need to figure out how I can get on my knees for my prayers and quit writing... and feel like I won't be interrupted.  Oftentimes I think I will wait until after I get the coffee, and hubby leaves the room, then I can truly focus... but if I don't start doing something, I don't have time to write in here, and since I've been writing daily versus years ago I'd do it on occasion... maybe I should just pray about it and ask Jesus what I should do?  

Matthew 6:6 (ESV)  But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Yes, I come into this room and shut the door.  And I pray, always.  But I'm missing that 'closeness' that I have always felt. Is there sin in my life?  Not that I haven't confessed and repented of.  I don't know... I just want to go back to when I first fell in love with Jesus and devoted all my time to Him.  And back then, I didn't write in this blog. I didn't get on the computer at all.  I read scripture, meditated on it, wrote down what I got out of it as a prayer to God.  Yes, I learned that from Discipleship.

Sometimes it is worth going back to the beginning of your walk so that you can fall in love with Jesus all over again.  Not that I have ever stopped loving Jesus, I haven't.  But I want more of Him.  I don't want to be complacent with where I am with Him.  I want more of Jesus.  I have heard His voice.  I have heard Him speak my name. When you have had that experience, nothing else matters and you want more.  Always more.

Lord Jesus, Your Word says that if I draw near to God, He will draw near to me.  I believe Your Word. Help me find what I am looking for in my heart. Total surrender. Emotions, will, desires.  Everything. I seek after You with all my heart.  I long to hear Your voice.  Speak Lord, for Your servant is listening.

A bit personal, perhaps, but honestly is always the best policy, right?  Are you desiring to hear His voice? Sometimes we just need to sit and be quiet.  This is why I always long for my time without distractions....  I remember that Susanna Wesley (John Wesley wife) - they had numerous children, and every day she would sit in her rocking chair and put her apron over her head (back then, women wore aprons all the time, they needed to!) and the children knew not to disturb her, that was her prayer time. She shut her eyes from distraction (by putting the apron over her face), and focused on God.  Oh that we all would do the same!

I pray that you find the time, the space, the opportunity to just sit with Jesus and tell Him all that you desire.  And then just sit there and listen.  May you hear His voice; it is the best thing ever.  We get so rushed to get on with our day, we forget to listen.  Take time to just sit before Him.  Listen... you just may hear the answer you are seeking.

Blessings!