Got lots of calls done yesterday

 I did get all my work done (ok, I just had one meeting to create for Sue) yesterday and was able to catch up on some phone calls.  My daughter called. My youngest son called. I called my little brother. My big brother and I chatted on text.  My little sister called. I talked to her the longest. We hadn't talked in a few days.  I didn't complete any training yesterday, but I did get caught up on family stuff. Does that count as anything?  At least today should not be telephone calls.  And I do have one appointment.

My appointment?  I had to change Saturday's appointed to get my hair done - so am getting it done today. Yes, I'm taking off during work hours.  But that's ok.  I will leave home about 1:15PM or so and head over to see 'Joe', my hairdresser.  We used to call them beauticians - what do we call them now?  Anyway - Joe was able to give me an appointment this afternoon so I took it. Sue won't mind.  I'll jump on the computer when I get back home (probably about 4-ish) and clear up any messages.  Then tonight we are finally going to our bible study small group.  It's at a member's house in Surprise.  In two weeks we will host the bible study.  Our sickness postponed us hosting or even attending the past two - but we both are well enough to make it tonight.  It will be good to see our friends.

I'm still listening to the audible book I told you about.  I backed it up a couple chapters last night and re-listened, for I thought I had heard someone had died. He had not. But it is in an interesting spot right now and I had to shut it down to go to bed.  I think I have less than two hours left to listen to the book.  Maybe I should take it with me to get my hair done - while my hair is being highlighted under the dryer, I can listen to it.  Oh - no I can't.  I had bought those cheap headsets that go over the head. Duh, my hair will be in a plastic bag in the dryer- can't wear the headset. Ok - good thought.

In this new devotional I've been reading, it seems like every day my heart gets stirred with something she says.  I haven't read anything from this person before. I've always read books, usually by men, that teach me something.  But this devotional, in it she is getting to my heart. My longings. My desires. I've only been reading my daily portions for about a week now, and I have not been disappointed. I don't usually read books that touch on real life like this.  It's hard to explain. I'm sure I have read books similar to this in the past - but this one is what I am reading now.

Today she quoted Isaiah 30:21:  "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

How many times have we missed God's invitation to do something?  We walk by someone who looks troubled, and we see them, but don't pause to say hello, or ask how they are doing.  We see a discarded bag or cup in a parking lot and instead of pausing to pick it up to put in the trash, we walk right by it.  These are just simple things, and yet, we ignore them.  We get caught up in our thoughts, in our busyness.  We know we should pause and say hello, or pause and pick up that trash - and yet we blatantly ignore it.

Was it God putting someone in front of us as we pass by, or did He take us to that particular spot where the cup was thrown?  Maybe. Maybe not. But what if it is God who did that?  What if He is trying to get our attention?  What if He is wanting us to be His hands and His feet, and touch this world in a small way?  Lile things like saying "How are you doing?" and pausing long enough to hear the answer. Or the little thing of picking up that broken glass or the cup thrown away and putting it in a trash can. Not for anyone to see you doing it, but to be obedient to what God has placed before you?

Many times over the years I have prayed that God would show me the path He wanted me to take, that I would walk in it.  I never felt I got the answer I wanted.  Perhaps that is the problem.  Maybe He did take me to the path He wanted me to take - and I chose a different one.  I look back over my life and just see so many mistakes.  Some made from ignorance. Some made because I wasn't taught them. Some because I was openly defiant and wanted to do life my way.  And here I am today. Still hurting, still struggling to be 'God's girl' - and yet, who am I to say that I'm not?  Have I made my own rules on what I should be like?  Does He not love me the way I am? Does He not forgive me when I seek after Him and ask for forgiveness?  Does He not gather me into His arms and call me His beloved child? Ah, the yes answers I do receive from Him.  

He has not forsaken me. Many times I have chosen to be silent when I should have spoken up. I can remember a time when all I could do was talk about Jesus.  But over the years, and especially since I have been forced to work from home and becoming isolated, the opportunities to share have become minimal. Yes, I have changed over the years, but I remember those times when I could remember the stories of old and could teach and .... be alive.  I feel that part of me has faded into memory at times. But how I long for those days when I felt so alive in Him!  I feel I know what has happened, and I'm not going to give my thoughts on that or point any fingers.  

Reminds me of the song, This little light of mine, I'm going to let shine. This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."

Of course there are more verses to it, but you know the song - did you find your mind singing it as you read it?  What are you doing with that little light of yours that used to shine for Jesus?  Do you remember when you first chose Jesus and wanted to walk with Him?  Remember how you glowed with the knowledge that you were His?  Then life entered.  Reality hits. People who tear you down instead of building you up.  Discouragement instead of encouragement. Watching people who said one thing but their behavior showed another.  Life being sucked out, and the light inside of you falters.

Don't give up.  Run back to Jesus and ask Him to re-light that light inside of you.  Let your light shine so that the world will know Whose you are. You will never regret running to Jesus.  He is waiting for you with open arms.

"This is the way, walk in it."  Will you take that path?

Blessings!