because we didn't go to bed until around 10PM last night. Why? Because I was watching a movie when hubby got home and it was at the end. He didn't remember it, and I liked it well enough to watch it again - so we did. It's on Up Faith & Family (of course) and it's called Luckless. It really is a cute movie.
Got some 'new' coffee yesterday that I had ordered. From an advertisement, no less. It's called Ryze and it is a six mushroom combo of coffee. It's supposed to bring clarity and focus and other good things. Well, I tried the first cup this morning. (Hubby did too) It reminds me of the flat, weak coffee that we usually get at a restaurant. You know what I mean if you drink coffee at a restaurant for breakfast. Rarely is the coffee good. (But hubby did say the coffee at First Watch was really good last week.) We will finish out this coffee batch (even if I'm the only one drinking it. And since we are making it by the cup, I can have a cup of the Sumatra (deep, dark) if I choose a second cup. I hope the hype about these work - I sure could use some clarity and focus! It also had creamer with it, but it does have a few carbs. May need to use it to see if changes the flavor (or gives it flavor) any. It's drinkable, don't get me wrong. But the first cup, although finished, isn't quite what I hoped it would be. Will give it at least one package (we received two) before giving it a final grade.
Yesterday was a non-busy day again, and I will admit I didn't do much. I mean, I stayed at the computer and worked on meetings that were given to me, went through emails, etc. Had a meeting with my favorite boss and that went real well. It was my review for last year and setting goals for this year. I never got around for setting goals yet for this year (other than retirement), but my boss did give me an 'exceeds expectations' as my 'grade'. That means I will get a nice raise in another month or so. I forget when they come through. Which reminds me, hubby asked me about the timing on the raises the other day. I know he knows part of my check is diverted to my checking account and part to the joint account. I will give him a 'raise' to the checking account once I see how much I end up with. I don't expect much as financially things were tough within the company this past year. But anything is nice. I still need to set some goals - but what? Let me know if you think of something that would enhance my job performance. I'm at a loss, really. Yes, I could take PowerPoint classes - and yes, I might do that just to get a general idea of presentations. BUT, in the past when I've taken classes, it was to fulfill a requirement, but then they were never used in my job. I did notice that my boss put down that my next step would be a promotion - but a promotion to what? I would like to be given a project and let me 'own' it. Does that make sense?
Had one of my ocular migraines yesterday. I had hoped that the chiropractor had worked on my neck enough that it would eliminate them, but this is the fifth one in three weeks and it was a doozey. I was even left with a headache after this one. I am beginning to think they are triggered by my constant looking at the computer. Does that make sense? Although I think I've had on the weekend or evening - but still, 40+ hours staring at the computer.... it all starts with like little star lights flickering over whatever I'm looking at. When I get those I know it is on its way. Then the jazzed lightning bolt happens and it moves its way across my vision, blocking what I need to see. Definitely can not read when I get one of those. It's better I just sit back and let it work its way across. Takes about 20 minutes for it go away. Yesterday I was left with a bad enough headache that I laid down for a few minutes. I'm beginning to think I need to ask for a head scan - perhaps there is something pressing down on my visual vessels? Or am I just grasping for reasons? I've had testing on my eyes by my eye specialist; he diagnosed it as ocular migraines and said what I am experiencing is an occurrence for those who get them. Oh joy. I don't want to be like everyone else! I don't want these! There is no cure; there is nothing to take for it. It's just a headache and even a pill would not help as it would take at least 20 minutes to be active and by then its gone anyway. Oh well. Part of my life for the rest of my life. At least my neck doesn't feel as tight as it used to. I have 3 more visits to the chiropractor; 1 tomorrow and 2 next week. Then I think we're done. My neck feels a lot better. I still don't know how he can do what he does, but it must work.
Jeremiah 29:12 (NLT): In those days when you pray, I will listen.
Yes, I've taken a scripture out of the context, and it can give one pause as to 'what does that mean?' I think 'those days' can also be likened to 'these days'. Do you agree? Maybe I think that because when one prays, one does it with the thought that God would hear them. Yes, sometimes we feel like our prayers are not going anywhere. We feel like they hit the ceiling and fall the ground. I get that. I feel that way at times as well. But what that happens, we may need to stop and reflect on our lives, to start with. Are we living completely for God? Have we accepted Jesus as Lord of our life? Would you listen to someone if you were God and the person wasn't following you? Granted, sometimes God does look down on us in His mercy and grace and answer our prayers. But, Jesus says, i f you ask ANYTHING in my name then you have it. Is that true? Many of us would say no, it's not. How many times have I prayed, and my prayers were not answered? How many of you have prayed and your prayers were not answered, and you are following Him? Many times we have prayed for healing, and it didn't happen. Yet, there are times that we can pray that all the lights would stay green as we drive down the road and they are. What's up with that? Isn't a life more valuable then getting through the lights on the road?
Of course it is! But many times when we ask Jesus to heal someone or to do something for us, we ask amiss. What does that mean? We ask for what WE want, not for God's will to be done. Sometimes God's will is to not heal, for that will bring Him greater glory when lives are changed through the un-healing. Does that make sense? God sees the bigger picture. Many times when we lose someone we love and the pain of it seems so unbearable, and God seems so unfair.... but it is in those times that He draws near to you to help you walk the path of healing in the grieving. It's ok to grieve. Jesus wept at Lazarus' gravesite. My heart is still grieving over the loss of my sister, the latest sibling to pass away. Do I get angry at God because He didn't answer my prayer when I prayed so desperately for her to live? No, I don't. Because I know He sees the bigger picture. I may never know why He didn't answer my pleas and my prayers for her healing. I truly did believe she would be healed. But the answer was 'No'. I don't know why, but it was God's will her life ended. I will never know the answer as to the why, I will only say that God is still God and He is still in control. Nothing is too far from Him; His arm is not short. I will still love Him; I will still trust Him; I will still follow Him; I will still live for Him. God truly can heal your broken heart. It doesn't mean that you don't love the person that passed away, but it means only that God's way was better for that one. Sometimes we have to let go of what we hold on to. It can change everything.
And with that - it's time to get on the work computer and get started on the day. I'm tired, and I'm sleepy. Wonder if I can get a short nap over the lunch time I usually don't take. Not sure if hubby has a lunch/brunch plan today or not. Hopefully I will focus on what I need to get done and get it done today. Hope you do as well.
Blessings!
No comments:
Post a Comment