Here at work I have been given more and more to do - and more and more to learn to do. I thought I was doing pretty good with it; last week I learned how to input authorizations for pain management and podiatry, before that it was transportation (all these as well as inpatient). I did the best I could, thinking I could get a grip on it the more that I complete. Just hoping I was doing them right. I struggle with no one actually walking me through some of the training - I watch them do one or two, and get told a few things - and off I go. So far, I think I've done well. Until yesterday. Gasp! They showed me another thing to do. I get confused - and somewhat frustrated - for I don't know as yet what exactly I am to do - other than inpatient - on a priority basis. I get shown all these things and no direction. That is where my confusion comes in to play. I'm afraid that I won't be given any more until a month from now and I will be expected to know how to jump in and do them. I don't operate like that - I have to know specifically how each thing goes so that I can do it correctly. Yeah, I get somewhat anal about that.
The things I was shown yesterday - well, I asked when they take effect - and was told 'now'. Sigh. I have another big training session this morning. On another matter. This one will be 'immediately' as well. I really like to have all my work completed when I leave each day; with all they are giving me to do - I don't know if that will ever happen again. So it causes me not only confusion on priorities (until someone decides to lay it out for me) and anxiety in getting everything completed that needs to be. I'm still in a learning stage.
In my quiet time this morning I had to pray that I would keep my attitude 'nice'. When I get frustrated, my attitude tends to also get frustrated. I say things, trying to be funny and light-hearted, only I know they sound hard and rebellious. Well, maybe not rebellious, but how else would you say 'are you going to continue to give me work to do and not let me get it done'?! I can't work if I'm in training, therefore, what I am responsible for does not get completed. I left several in my folder last night that didn't get completed before I left. I was mentally exhausted and decided at 5:15 I wasn't going to stay but to go home and chill. And I tried to do that. Had to watch The Biggest Loser though. The finale is next week; I'm hoping Danni wins it they all have worked hard, but my favorite is Danni.
With working I am getting less and less completed at home. Since I don't get home until around 6-6:15, then we have dinner around 6:45-7:00 - and we have been getting to bed around 9PM, there isn't much time to get anything done. It's hard to plan dinner as I am never sure when I'll walk in the door. Sometimes it is just easier to go out to eat, but we don't have money for that either.
Our weekends either get packed or hubby thinks they are boring. This weekend we have the carnival at church and I try to volunteer for it. However, he wanted to have some friends over for dinner Saturday evening. That is ok, but it was before I realized it was the same time as the carnival. Problem is, they usually volunteer too. He doesn't want to volunteer since his friend isn't doing the hotdogs this year, which is what he volunteered for in the past. I want to postpone the dinner, but when I mentioned that last night, I got fussed at because we 'never have anyone over'. All I wanted to do was postpone it one week. I would love to have people over every weekend but he would quickly grow weary of it. I actually like to entertain and have company. Since he has brought it up, maybe I can do some things I want to do, inviting those I want to invite.... just thinking...
So much I want to do; so much I want to get done. So much to sort out and sort through. My life is crowded, overwhelmed to the point of discouragement sometimes. Things I want to do I can't always do. Various reasons as to why. I keep telling myself 'some day' I will get to....
And now it is nearly time to get working so need to stop. When others come in early I get distracted and unable to keep my focus. I need to see what my calendar looks like for today, when my meeting is, and when am I going to get my work completed. I'll have to sort out my personal life another time.
Hope that you have your day set and in place before you; ready to face it. Make it a good and a productive one.
Blessings!
1 comment:
Tell him to postpone it, or he can do the dinner himself as you will be volunteering. If he doesn't like it, then he needs to change it around. You would not be a bad person to have it postponed so you can volunteer.
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