I remember why I work....

 and it's not just for the money.  It's for me to keep my sanity.  One may dream of being free of the stress of work, but taking one (or more) days off occasionally will remind you completely of why you do work.  And I'm glad I have a job.  In having one day (thus far) of no work; I think back to when I took that year off and wonder why I did not learn my lesson then.  Ah, yes, we got out and walked 10+ miles - we had a goal. We had something to do.  But, going back to yesterday.  It started out good.

Hubby went to his bible study.  I finished up in here and decided to put my hoodies and the dishtowels that were growing on top of the washing INTO the washer and get them washed. Novel thought, right?  Then I washed the tablecloth and runner that was on the table, gearing up for the Christmas dinners.  I put the dishes away in the dishwasher. I cleaned off the countertops things that we had left on them. I swept and mopped the kitchen floor. I put the table/chairs away I had set up for Thursday games.  I sat down and took a ten minute nap.  Then hubby came home.  Sigh. The dryer was going.  He comments.

"Now what am I going to do?"  I just looked at him and told him what I had washed; I had not done the laundry (which he considers his job).   We left to go feed the cats at the daughter's and come back home. I need to run the dryer again for my hoodies are still damp.  He grabs the towels from the bathrooms and a few of his things and throws in the washer.  In a little bit I hear him start up the dryer, thinking he turned it on for my hoodies.  No, and yes.  He put the towels and the things he had just washed ON TOP of my hoodies and dried them all together.  When I hear the dryer shut off I go to get my hoodies and find all these towels and things in with them.  I asked him why didn't he take my hoodies and the dishtowels OUT of the dryer before he put his load of laundry in there, rather than throwing them on top of my things and drying all together..... deer in headlight look.  I just walked away.

Annoyed I was.  I sewed a bit. I took a 30 minute nap. He listened to things on his phone and read a little. I was B-O-R-E-D.  I told him I was going to Home Depot.  What for? What was I going to get?  I decided not to go.  "Would you go if I wasn't going with you?" By that time I couldn't even remember what I was thinking about looking at!  I should have gone - they had poinsettias 2/$2.50 yesterday!! But, by then I was really annoyed because 1) all the questions as to why and 2) he was sticking to me much closer than I wanted.  It was too early in the season to bake cookies for I don't like to freeze those, but give fresh.  I got up from the couch about 4:30 and heated up leftovers for dinner.  He did say thanks for heating it up.  erase erase.

And that is why I work.  Most boring day ever.  Except when I could do things freely about the house. And I enjoyed being able to clean and mop and put things away!  I did not put the tree up on the porch like I wanted. It's still in the box.  The joy I had in thinking about it has disappeared. Maybe I'll make it to home depot today and purchase a small fir tree to use. I still want a 'wishing tree', although I'd be standing there all the time making wishes. sigh.

I got distracted this morning before getting in the blog.  I paid a couple bills online and then checked Macy's to see if I had a balance.. I didn't then, but do now.  I checked Kohls to see if I had a balance.  I didn't then but I do now.  I decided I need to wait about checking any more.  haha.  I need to get the grandchildren at least one gift!  This has been a tough year for thinking of things. Sleep pants and maybe shirts will be it. I don't know. Maybe I will just make them all a batch of cookies and give them in tins. Yeah - that sounds like a good idea - they are all pretty much on their own, and we know the boys aren't baking - so why not?  I think that is a great idea. Now I need to think of what to bake - closer to Christmas, of course, and what to put them in to keep.  I need to buy tins. :-)  

Philippians 1:27-30 (NKJV):  Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel, and not in any way terrified by your adversaries, which is to them a proof of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that from God. For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, having the same conflict which you saw in me and now hear is in me.

No matter what we go through, our conduct, our attitude, is to be like Jesus.  Some days it is extremely hard, as you know.  Many times my mind is screaming words I will never speak because I know it would be cruel and demeaning, whether it is the truth or not.  It does make one pause, does it not, and wonder why it is so easy for some people to say 'what is on their mind' (remember, out of the heart the mouth speaks!!) and not check themselves to see if it is kind, encouraging, true, noble, trustworthy.  When some people say what is on their mind, it is a crushing blow to those on the other end listening to what is being said.  Doesn't matter if it is a child, a sibling, or a parent or a friend.  Treat each one with how you would want to be treated.  Love each one as you want to be loved - even the unlovable.  We don't know what each one is going through.   

I don't say things in here to put people down; at least that is not my intent.  I don't put words that will hurt someone - not intentionally anyway.  Sometimes I am writing things that are on my mind; sometimes they may hurt and I need to 'get them out'.  Some times it may just be I need a release of feelings and emotions because the pain is so great I don't want it to overflow into real life. Does that make sense?   I use this space freely, and it shares more of me than my having a conversation with someone.  And even in here, at times I hold back, for I never want someone to feel unloved and unwanted in my life. 

Ah... this is the third time I have heard hubby pace by this door.  I suppose, since it is almost 9AM, that I need to get off here and fix him breakfast (or he is waiting for me to come out to offer to take me to breakfast.  What should I do? Save money and cook breakfast?  Or let him take me out - and go by home depot and get my 'whisper tree' and poinsettias?  Decisions, decisions.  Either way, I do need to get up and change out of my warm jammies and put real clothes on. 

Changing how this day will evolve is up to me.  I do have messages I need to get started on. I need to call my little sister today and catch up, I need to buy more wrapping paper, I .... can find things to do and not sit and be bored all day today again.  Other than the football game, hubby left the TV off yesterday - amazing.  $10 says it will be on today!  And we will probably watch movies tonight - at least I'm choosing Christmas movies off Up Faith and Family and he doesn't complain.

In the meantime- hope you have an amazing day.

Blessings!