or when things are going good. But what about when you don't get what you want, or things are tough? Do you find yourself being thankful then? Do you believe that God works in the 'not getting what you want' as well as the 'giving you what you ask for?"
I do. The devotional I read today is causing me to think about this. Is it only when I ask and receive - or just receive - do I thank God.... or do I also thank God when He doesn't provide?
That is a good question. What if, God, in His own wisdom, decided NOT to help us through a financial struggle... heal this loved person we want healed more than anything in the world.... bring peace through however means He can.... provide everything we need..... What if... He didn't.
Would we still be thankful?
Would we still praise God when we are going through tough times that are not even our fault? Do we question more the 'why are we going through this when I didn't do anything?' rather than the 'God loves me so much that He is allowing me to learn from this - what is it He wants me to learn?' Some of you won't understand that type of reasoning. Let me explain.
Someone who is in deep financial stress - whether because of their own wrong choices (spending too much, choosing the wrong things) or because of circumstances (losing a job, child in college, things needing repairs).... where is God in this mess? Especially if it isn't something you feel like you caused? He is right there. And if we sat down and really thought about it, wrote things down, we could probably see where we could have managed our money better so that we could take care of the things that needed to be done. But do we change what we are doing..... or do we moan and groan about how tight finances are and keep spending/doing what we want to do? I'm sure we all know people who are in this position.
Someone who needs healing - perhaps they have a serious disease and desperately needs healing. People everywhere are praying for them, but they don't seem to get better. Sometimes they die. Anger, hurt, frustration... several emotions arise within us at the only One who could have healed... but chose to not answer those prayers. Where is God in all this? He is right there. He is standing beside you, holding you as you grieve and hurt. Unanswered questions come to us - why didn't God heal this person? Why didn't God let them live longer? Why did God have to .... so many unanswered questions we have.... babies die, siblings get fatally hurt, parents and grandparents soon are memories. Some far too soon. Why, God? Answer us this question!
And the air is still silent around us, because we don't receive that answer. I remember as a teenager crying and asking God questions on why did he take my dad away from me so soon. I barely knew him at 7 years old. I can remember only a couple things as a child before he died. Some I wonder if I remember truly, or is it something I was told and I put it in my memory so that I could remember him. No answers came that night.
Why did our lives have to endure what they did - both good and bad... how can we be thankful when all we feel is pain, loss, hurt..... the struggle is real. How can one be thankful to God for what we endured as a child?
Easily. If we look back over our lives, and yes, see the pain that is there, we can still be thankful. We can still praise God. Sometimes it is hard to get past our anger and hurt at God for what He allowed to happen in our lives.... and each of us deal with it in different ways. Very different ways.
Can we just be honest here? I can, in a sense, be honest I think. I wish things were different. I wish I had made other decisions/choices than what I made. I left my soul-mate, when he told me to. When his situation changed and he wanted me back, I refused to go. For the first time in my entire life I was 'free'. Few of you can understand the meaning of that word. I have lived under the control of men all of my life - except for two years in which I made my own decisions - many of them bad because I didn't know any better.
But because of my decisions, God has made good out of what could have been bad. I remarried because I was 'told to' by my boss. I always had men telling me what to do... so why wouldn't I obey? My pastor counselor once told me that I was a '...... bride'. I cannot remember that word... but one that means you have no say in the matter (although I did) and you have to do what you are told. That was a shocker (and I cannot even remember what the word was!) she said that. But it felt like she understood my position.
And God worked through all that. I went through a deep depression the first few years, as I look back upon life. All that I was familiar with was gone from me and I lived in a prison imposed upon me due to another's fear.
But God. Because of my unhappiness, we went to church. Not just to any church, but to one I understood. Through that church, classes were offered which I became brave enough to step out and take. I was always told I was too stupid to learn anything the years I was growing up - now that I was grown up, what would be different? God is different. He loved me then, and He loves me now. Through these classes I learned about Jesus and how much He loves me. He died for me. I learned how to have a personal relationship with Jesus; we talk together all the time. He gave me value as a person. It took awhile to believe in myself, but Jesus walked with me, showing me what I needed to do. To put it bluntly, it took remarriage and unhappiness for me to run to Jesus to find my joy. And in Him, I do find my joy.
My joy doesn't come from my surroundings. It doesn't come from my spouse, nor from my children, my grandchildren, nor even my great-grandchildren. I love each one of them more than they could ever imagine. My joy comes from Jesus alone, and knowing He is always with me.
I have many regrets.... but the one regret I do not have, is that God looked upon me and saw my unhappiness and instead of leaving me to wallow in my despair, He drew me to Him and when I chose to learn, really learn about Him, I fell in love with the One who desires me just as I am. I make mistakes, confess them, and He forgives each one and loves me anyway. He loves me even when I don't confess; He lets me do whatever I choose to do, and waits for me. My love for Him is greater than my life.
When I don't get what I want - it's ok. When I do get what I want, what I desire, it's ok. God is there in both of those. He can take the hard stuff and make it better. He can take the loss of a parent, the loss of a spouse, the loss of a child..... and be our Peace. Our Comfort. Our Joy. So, yes, I can be thankful when I don't get what I really deserve.
I can look back and imagine what my life would have been like if I had stayed where I was.... and I don't like what I imagine. I would feel shame and remorse at my own life. I would have been alone and no one would care, but God. I knew OF God, but I didn't KNOW God. He has taken the bad of my life and has brought good to it. He gave me Himself to love and to hold on to.
He has walked with me through the tough times. He sits with me when I am buried in tears over hurt. He gathers me into His arms when I lose a loved one and I don't understand why my prayers were heard, but not answered....and I grieve. He never gives up on me....
and He never gives up on you. He's with you when you are angry. He is with you when you don't understand what is happening around you. He is with you when you grieve. He is with you.... always.
So, yes, it's easy to be thankful when life is good, money in the bank, house is stable, children are behaving, and friends are abundant. All seems good. It's so easy to say 'thanks, God'.
It's not so easy when life is hard, no money in the bank, sickness, rebellious children, feeling alone. But God is still there, and He is always at work in your life, walking with you all the way. Have faith. Trust Him to help you with the decisions - even the simple ones - that you make.
You will find He takes the bad and brings good from it. And for that, you can be thankful. I am thankful.
Blessings!
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