This nightmare began last night before I even became aware of it. The phone call came shortly after midnight to me, awakening me from a deep sleep. Still groggy, I answered the phone, and trying to place who was calling as they say, 'I'm so sorry to call you, but you need to know that....' I place who it is, and then try to understand as they tell me my youngest child, now 44, has attempted suicide with pills and alcohol. I'm told he was ok, they had gotten to him in time. Did not have to pump his stomach, but did give him something that would cause the alcohol to get out of his system, and that he was stabilized. The caller and I discussed how he needed an intervention - with me asking how we can do that. Her comment back to me was "you are the mom, they will listen to you." And I'm thinking you don't know my children...they do what they want. We are in agreement of what the real issue in this depression is, but it is a step that my son alone can make.
I fall to my knees after that call, praying that God would take care of him, that God would grant me wisdom and discernment how to help him. Awake most of the night, I fall back to sleep to be awaken once again by my phone ringing. Another Army soldier calling to update me. Praise God for these two soldiers who love my son and want to help him get better. This call broke my heart as it was relayed how my granddaughter shared with this one about how she is treated by her step-mother. How I wish I could bring her home with me and love on her. I hinted at it, but hubby being who he is, refused. Another story for another time.
As I sat here after the second phone call - still nothing from the wife, not even a text, I sent a text to our pastor's wife that we would not be in church today (we have responsibilities today) and why, and asked for prayer. My phone rings again and it is the DIL. She proceeds to tell me where he is at and he will be moved tomorrow. And that she text'd my other son, and daughter, and their uncle. I don't even ask why my brother. We make plans to go there to see him in a couple hours. Then she calls back and says he is being moved today at 10:30.
Hubby cooks breakfast around 8:45AM - cause it is mother's day. We finish eating and hubby's phone rings - it is our pastor - who is currently in Africa - face-time calling to check on how our son is, asking what can they do to help us. His wife had called and told him of our pain. God is so good to send us a loving and caring pastor and church family.
It is now 9:30. I tell hubby and he hustles to get ready and we head that way. Only one person allowed back at a time - so the wife had to come out, and I went back for about 2 minutes and then they were there to take him. So I hustle back to the front so that hubby could come back and see him real quick. And then they were gone.
We opted to come back home since we both got to see him. My granddaughter had been brought to that facility but didn't have time to see her dad before they took him away, so they were off to the new facility. They can see him during the intake period. I will call the new facility - which he will be at for about 5 days - and see when we can see him. I want to see him without his wife. Family time starts at 7:30, but I'm hoping they will work it out with us to see him before or even after. If not, will work around her.
I have spent time praying, asking God for wisdom and discernment. I think now of how lucky I am this mother's day. My son even said 'happy mommy day' while I was there. I told him it was a happy mommy day because he was still alive. He thinks he would have been ok even now.... he doesn't realize how lucky he is. I am thanking God for His intervention once again, in my son's life.
God has had to rescue this rebellious child time and again (and my other son - and daughter! as well). I can not cease to pray for each one for I fear what could happen if I don't. I came across something I wrote out several months ago....
"The condition of God's blessing is absolute surrender of all into His hands. If our hearts are willing for that, there is no end to what God will do for us, and to the blessing God will bestow." (Andrew Murray)
So here I am with a hurting heart for my son, for my children and grandchildren, and I have to willingly surrender them - "ALL" into His hands. Lord, I am trusting in Your bigger plan for my children and grandchildren. I willingly surrender them ALL into Your hands, for Your intervention into their lives.
Blessings!
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