It is then than I carried you.....

Can I just be honest with you today?  Can I just open up and share what I'm feeling?  Perhaps you are in the same position.  Perhaps you feel the same as I feel.  Will you let me share my heart today and not think less of me?  Or even not think more of me.  I want to share the goodness of our God.  His faithfulness.  His love. His comfort.

Last night I felt like I hit bottom.  The overwhelming responsibility of needing to find a job right away, plus the reminder of my brother's children dying years ago - which always makes me cry - caused me to feel completely defeated and without hope.  I cried, my heart in anguish over my helplessness.  I didn't know where to turn; except to my Heavenly Father.  I cried out to Him in my pain, my anguish.

This morning I wrote in my journal about what I felt last night, and what I was feeling this morning.  I am reminded of these things; things that I believe have all been in His hands.

*  I believe I am loved by God and He has my best interests at heart.
*  I believe that God orchestrated my early retirement because He has something good for me.
*  I believe that God walks with me through this journey and will continue to walk with me.
*  I believe that God has the job being prepared for me and that it will be mine in His timing.
*  I believe that God is completely in control.
*  I believe that God is my Peace, my Hope, my Comfort.

Remember the story of Footprints In The Sand by Mary Stevenson?

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

And that is where I feel I'm at.  Right now I see only one set of footprints - and I can still smile, for I see that the footprints (which is from another story) are in scattered circles, which means I am not only being carried, He is dancing with me. He is holding me close.  He loves me.

I was reminded today that when I got involved in ministry I felt I shouldn't move away from my children/grandchildren; I felt I needed to be here.  I still feel that way.  However, I have missed opportunities of being in ministry.  Recently I have told God that if I am to move away so that I can do whatever He wants me to do, I am willing to sell all I have and go.  No, I'm not doing it in hopes He will provide.  I'm doing it because I am sold out to Him.  If He wants me to move, He will provide all I need and will let me know clearly that is His plan.  I don't know what His plan is, I just have to trust Him in it and be available to Him.

Perhaps you are struggling and feeling overwhelmed with life. Please know that you are not alone, just as I know that I am not alone in this journey. Sometimes our struggles come from our own choices; other times from the choices of others. But one thing I am sure of is that if you surrender everything to God, He will walk with you through that journey. You will not walk it alone. True, it doesn't mean you won't have a meltdown session as I felt I did last night, but it does mean that you can trust God to get you through it.

I want you to know that even in the little things, God hears and answers the prayers of you, His beloved. Nothing is too big or too small for Him.  If it matters to you, it matters to Him. The more you are conscious of the fact that you are His beloved, the more you will walk in His unmerited favor in every situation! (stolen from Joseph Prince)

Trust Him; let Him dance with you.  I am.

Blessings!