I get to 'escape' for a few hours

 Today is the first Saturday in the month so we have Needles of Hope this morning.  We have changed our meeting place to the Panera at Metro Center.... although since they tore - or are tearing down - Metro Center Mall, I don't know if it is still called that.  Hubby was weird last night.  Hubby was weird last night - we had the TV off, and were reading, and he asked me about this morning.  Something like "With you meeting them for Needles of Hope in the morning, that means you won't be cooking and eating breakfast here at home, right?"  Ok, so as a rule, I do cook breakfast for him on Saturday mornings.  We sit down and have breakfast together.  (Sometimes I think he 'lives' for us to have a meal together for he has me right where he wants me - next to him)  I never fix breakfast when I'm going to a place where I can order breakfast with 'the girls'.  And all I could do was look at him and say "you will need to fix your own breakfast'.  He will probably fix a protein shake as that is about all he knows how to do anymore.  Now you will probably think that his original question of my fixing breakfast isn't any big deal, isn't a weird thing at all.  And I get that.  But I live with him.  I hear his questions and I see his confusion on things.  Last night he had me look at his computer because the volume wasn't working.  I brought up a video and looked at the computer volume... he had turned it way down.  So I turned it up and it worked fine.  Then he asked me to show him how (again) to clear his phone.  Which I did.  I'm not saying this to put him down or mock him.  I'm scared of what the future holds.  

It's not that this is a continual thing - it is not.  You ask him something about his Bible studies and he is alert and attentive.  But it is the everyday living stuff that I see him not sure what to do.  I can start a meal, and if he isn't watching TV, he will come sit in the kitchen at the table, waiting for his meal, and going through his phone. He told me last night that he would have to wash the dishes by hand because the dishwasher was full.  I remained quiet.  I wasn't sure if the dishes were clean or dirty in there for he will leave them for 2-3 days before emptying it at times.  When he came in to the front room, he tells me that he washed the dishes we used last night by hand (now mind you, I always wash my pans and those utensils by hand immediately as he will leave them sit so all he had was plates, silverware and glasses) and would start the dishwasher up first thing this morning when it was cooler out.  I hear him out watering the plants now.... and he waters the ones which have a drip directly into the pot.  

Ok - enough about that - I need to finish up in here and get dressed to head out in about an hour.  So what else can I write about.

I was somewhat lazy again yesterday but did get a couple things done.  I really do hate that I wasted a week I could have gotten a lot done - but I really needed the break from the past couple of weeks as well.  I will need to get re-focused on work and get things done next week since all will be back.  I'm taking the 11th off since we will be heading up north for the weekend.  Due to work on the highway, hubby is wanting to take an extended route through some small towns - and leave early on the 11th.  I was thinking closer to leaving around 1-2PM as we can't check in until 3PM ... but he has voiced he wants to leave (and he says he is driving) around 10-11 and go the long way to town.  I won't push the issue on him driving... but I will suggest he let me drive.  If not, I'll be crocheting so that I won't see the road.  And I can pray.  He's been letting me drive more and more to different places so I'm surprised he said he is driving this time.  I've driven the past two years on vacation.  He has newer tires so may as well wear the tread down on them, right?  

My biceps/triceps are hurting today.... I told you my trainer worked them hard!!

I know this is short... but I need to stop and gather things for my morning with the girls.  Ok, I fell back to sleep this morning and lost an hour, ok?  But my time is about gone and I need to get dressed yet.  

Remember to count your blessings today.  Even through the toughest days, God is still there.  Lean into Him and let Him guide you.  All you have to do is ask.

Blessings!

I'm ready to 'run away'

 I'm tired.  And I've been really lazy this week with work and need to catch up on all that I didn't do earlier this week.  Yes, I have gotten some things done, it hasn't been a total waste, but I have enjoyed my male boss being on vacation and out of my hair.  I like him, don't get me wrong, but he is 'upper management' and has a lot of meetings.  A lot. Ok, erase, erase.  I'm talking about my laziness, not other people.

I/we sent a letter to our 'former' pastor and his wife at the church we had been attending.  Found out some things that were going on - at least in whispers - from the friend who has breakfast with hubby.  He said we didn't need to write a letter, and we debated, but I had written a short one while hubby was gone, so read it to him, and we decided to go ahead and send it.  And, as usual when I have sent this pastor a note, he never responds.  At least he didn't yesterday.  

We have had two pastors over the years.  If we sent an email to one, he always, always, responded.  In fact, because he is a friend, if we email him even now, or text him, he will immediately respond back to us.  The one email we sent to the other one to tell him we were leaving the church; he basically sent an email back to 'not let the door hit you on the way out'.  Rude.  This is only the second time we have written a 'leaving' letter.  I know it is hard to receive them, or at least I think it would be, but it was a relief to cut the string.  Hubby is sounding excited about going to the Salvation Army church again this week.  Next week we plan to run away for the weekend.  I'm hoping next weekend to run away south, but this next weekend it will be back up north.

I finally text'd my granddaughter last night about the baking.  Actually, I had another topic to discuss as well, and after I text'd her - she immediately called me.  We chatted about the other topic and then I shared about my trying to do the starter routine for the bread.  I think I amused her.  But it was nice to hear that she got it. She understood my utter bewilderment in some of the terms used.  Why call the beginning 'dough' that you break from the starter as 'discard'?  She explained why.  She's a lot smarter than me in this area!  I put it off until November sometime, but she will come over and bring me some starter and walk me through the steps of 'feeding' it and what to do with the 'discard'.   She offered to come next weekend, but I told her we were going away so put it off.  We may do it sooner, because I want to learn how to do this right - but I think I'll buy my dry yeast and try baking bread that way as well.  I told her about all the 'stuff' I have bought to learn how - and I think I amused her.  Well, I wanted to have it if I needed it - even if I didn't understand what it was for!!  Can't wait to have bread baking in my oven!  Love fresh bread (and just what I need for this fat bod, right?) right out of the oven, smothered in melted butter... oh yum.  Doesn't it make your mouth water?

It's like fresh cornbread out of the oven.  The smell, the butter melting down into it.  I remember growing up we loved having 'some' leftover cornbread.  We'd cut the piece in half horizontally, and then fry it in butter until the edges were crisp.  Oh my goodness, the flavor and all - it is amazing.  I say 'is', because when I also have cornbread left over, I SILL do that, even if it is one piece!  Memories.

Tomorrow is my daughter's 23rd BMT birthday.  I always celebrate it so am making arrangements to connect tomorrow afternoon for a little celebration.  Moms always have to celebrate, right?  When I mentioned it the other day, my daughter had actually forgotten.  Not a surprise, since mom is usually the only one who remembers.  

My trainer killed my biceps and triceps last night.  Seriously.  Now I understand why these big muscular guys walk around with their arms out.  LOL  I felt like my arms were floating they were so 'pumped' after 6 sets of 10 bicep curls.  I barely got the last set completed.  My biceps were toast!  Triceps weren't so bad, as I pull down on the weights on those, but still, when I was walking out of the gym, I felt like my arms were floating out.  I know, funny picture, huh!

Proverbs 27:1 (NIV):  Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day will bring.

Now that is a true statement.  Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us.  We need to live in today, and yet, we need to plan for tomorrow, right?  It sounds right, anyway.  But all our plans can go astray if our lives change.  Like - we're planning on a trip up north next week.  Well, if something happens, it could change that.  I could say I am going to do this or that tomorrow, but if something happens, that too will change.  We don't know what tomorrow brings.  We may long for sunshine but get a brief rain instead (wouldn't that be nice!)

I imagine the people who have received the brutal force of Hurricane Helene never thought that they would lose everything.  Plans for weddings, plans for family gatherings, plans for work, plans for farming, plans for - well, anything - washed away in moments.  I cannot imagine the fear of seeing water coming at you with such force (I have watched some of the videos of people who stayed in their homes and they did photos of the water coming in and rising in their homes), that you could not stop it. Then there are those who had plans - and instead died.  I read about one older couple in bed, and a large tree fell on the house, fell on them, and crushed them.  The man had instinctually tried to shield his wife, but both died.  I can't imagine the anguish of families not knowing where other family members are.  I did check on some in Tennessee, especially a nephew in Pigeon Forge, and he said they got some flooding, but they were ok.  It didn't sound like it made it to his shop (thank God for that!) but it came close.  I checked with friends in Florida - they had the wind and rain but survived with no damage to their homes.  Ms. Amy nor her daughters have responded to my texts yet, they are in Ft. Myers - so I sent a text the son in Indiana to see if he had heard from them and he did respond that they were fine and nothing was damaged.  A hurricane a couple years ago flooded one daughter's home and ruined a couple cars.  They were beach-front property owners then - but have now bought further inland so guess it was inland enough that it saved them.  They must not have cell service - but I may try to call Ms. Amy again later.

There is a saying we sometimes will say - "Life is fragile, handle with prayer".  And that is true.  Every day I pray over my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren.  Also over close friends and my siblings.  One never knows when life strikes and things happen.  All we can do - and should do - is pray for each one and entrust them to God, who knows all and sees all.  What could happen - could be averted - if you just prayed over one.  Think about it.  How many scrapes have you been in - and survived?  Was someone praying for you that you know of?  Maybe you should ask.  Sometimes, just maybe, God is allowing things to get your attention.  Think about that!  

How about taking a moment and thanking God for saving you from those moments that could have been.... and whisper a few words of gratitude and pray over your own family.  We are not guaranteed tomorrow.  Thank God for today.

Blessings! 

Huh. It says my info is incorrect

 Received an email that my Sonora Quest account had a balance.  Ok, no problem.  I check my health equity account and I have over $300 in it - obviously I haven't had any medical applied against it yet this year.  I lose it all on December 31 so I need to use it, right?  So I tried to. On this bill.  I pull my card out, input all the information, and it comes back telling me my information is incorrect.  Hmm.  I try again. And again. And it still will not take my information.  I go to Health Equity and verify my information. Yep, it's right.   Ok - finally went to my Health Equity account and brought up claims - and paid it direct from the account.  I often forget it is there as I don't contribute to it.  I have an HRA account versus HSA - once I turned 65, they took away my HSA and made me take an HRA.  The difference?  I cannot contribute to the HRA, plus unlike the HSA where the money in the account rolls over year after year - on January 1, all monies are returned to the company (they are the only ones contributing to the account) and the balance is 0.00 until the first payment, usually about $17.81 is deposited into the account.  I never use it all - or let's just say, I haven't.  I still have over $200 in it - I may or may not lose it before the end of the year. Thankfully, I don't have that many medical issues.   Which reminds me, I need to tell my boss, as she just turned 65 that she will need to use up her HSA monies because it will be going away.  At least I got my Sonora Quest account paid.  I hate owing money to anyone.

Yesterday was really a pretty much non-busy day.  I had breakfast with my boss and took her birthday gift - and her boss's day gift - to her.  I stopped on the way home and got my car washed.  I got back home about 11:30 I guess.  I just could not get in to work mode and only did what I had to do. I do have things I need to complete, so will need to focus on that today and make myself focus to get it done.  My boss and I were joking about retirement yesterday - I really think she is thinking about retiring in June next year - but will see.  I don't want to stay if she doesn't.  But - I do like the money I have to play with.  Play money would be gone if I quit.  Tough call.  

Earlier in the month I was told I needed to take minutes at this 6AM meeting this morning - but then I was told someone else was going to take them.  I sent my male boss a text yesterday and also called him, to remind him he has this board meeting.  He sent a text late last night that he just got back in cell service.  So he got my message.  I'm not calling in for the meeting; someone else is supposed to take the minutes.  He asked if I would do them and I said yes, but another person said they'd help the admin who messed it up before and she could still take them.  So I'm not calling in.  Go ahead, lay me off, I dare you!  (I know, I'm too eager, aren't I?)

I worked out last night with such a bad headache (and got no sympathy from my trainer) that when I got home I took an ibuprofen.  It immediately relieved the headache, and I think it has taken a lot of the aches and pain out of my body tis morning.  But it also causes me to sleep deeply and then struggle to wake up.  I'm doing better right now, but when I woke this morning, I only got up cause I heard hubby stirring.  I have another gym training tonight - we did legs last night so biceps and triceps tonight.  I feel like I've lost a lot of strength in my arms as she has focused on my legs one night a week and different other parts of the body (chest/shoulders/back, etc.) the rest of the time.  Oh, and let's not forget core!  My fat keeps getting in the way of doing core exercises.  Sigh.

Psalm 51:11 Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Did you know that in Psalm 51 the Spirit of God is called Holy for the first time?  From the very beginning, the third person of the Trinity was called 'Spirit of God' (Genesis 1:2).  He was never revealed as the Holy Spirit until David sinned and committed adultery with Bathsheba.  Gripped with fear of his sin being found out because she was pregnant, he launched a big coverup campaign and the Spirit of God lifted off his life.  He was accustomed to having songs of the Spirit flow from within because of his close walk with God. But when he sinned, the flow stopped.  His prayer life became trite and unfulfilling. He knew something was terribly wrong.  Then the prophet Nathan comes along and pointedly told David of his sin. When David repented, he acknowledged he has missed the present of God's Spirit which had become so precious and so fulfilling for him.  Yearning for a return to the former intimacy with God, David pled, "Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me" (Psalm 51:11). This was the desperate cry of a man who learned from personal experience that the Spirit of God, above all else, is holy. He dwells only with those whose hearts are directed toward holiness.  Holy men live in the presence of the Holy Spirit. Once you've known this intimacy, you realize that nothing is worth losing it!

So where does this leave you?  Have you lost the joy of being in the Presence of the Holy Spirit?  Do you need to cry out "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting".  Psalm 139:23-24.

Sometimes we all need to do that, I think.  Some of us on a daily basis!  Why not pause and let the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, search your heart and mind, and give Him permission to lead you.  You will never regret it.

Blessings!

I quit. Just ain't going to do it 'my way'!

 The making of homemade bread is an art.  I obviously have missed the art class.  Sigh.  I made up my mind yesterday that I was going to get into it again and read and reread the instructions, which still make no sense to me.  I separated out about 1/2 cup to make a new 'starter' and put in another bowl.  I then started adding water and I found some 'bread yeast' which really was for the bread machine I had years ago (aka probably expired bread yeast as it has been years since I had a bread machine)... anyway, was getting ready to put the flour into the big bowl and pull it all together - only to realize I put all that in the wrong bowl.  I dumped it.  AND I dumped the starter.  I still have two bowls of 'discard' (what a word to use - it makes no sense to me) that I will be dumping today because I don't what else to do with it.  Besides, we are cutting back on our bread eating.  Got to lose some of this weight.  And I love breads - in any form.  But especially in homemade bread.  I will henceforth bake regular bread like I did years ago, or buy frozen dough and use it, or just buy the completed loaf, which is the most simple of all.  I just don't have the time it takes to focus and although that breaks my heart, it's not the first thing that has.

I was able to meet my friend Melonie yesterday for lunch.  I had text'd her yesterday a little after 6AM, but she didn't respond.  I called her around 10AM, she didn't answer.  Concerned, I sent another text.  I debated on just driving to her house to check on her.  She had given me a key the last time we had met.  She finally text'd me around noon.  She'd had a tough morning, she said. She was missing her husband, who passed away about 2 years ago just before Thanksgiving.  We did get to meet up for lunch and spent some time just catching up - and made plans to meet up on October 18th - two days before her birthday.  I need to figure out what to get her.  It was good to catch up for me - and for her.  She gave me a big hug as we left and said she had really needed us to get together.  I gave her a bag of frozen chicken and noodles that I had made the night before.  Just enough for her a couple meals. 

This morning I get to meet my boss for breakfast.  It's always good to see her and spend time with her. I have a couple gifts for her - birthday, which was yesterday, and I am going to go ahead and give her the boss' day gifts I have bought for her.  I had sent her a danish from O&H Danish and it arrived Monday, so that is part of her birthday.  I have to keep reminding myself as I look into the bag and there isn't much there.  At least with getting two bags it looks like she gets something.  And it doesn't matter. She doesn't need anything and is happy with anything I give her.  I didn't get bread made, I didn't make salsa. She may be disappointed.  But - she knows she will get them for Christmas.  Looking forward to hanging out with her for a couple hours this morning and catching up.  

Yesterday was a very lazy day for work.  I didn't do anything I didn't have to do.  So when I get back today, I still need to work on minutes from the board meeting, still need to work on a couple other things. But yesterday, my mind was everywhere but on work.  With two bosses out, nothing was critical and although I sat at my desk, I really didn't do anything.  And I can kick myself for not getting some tasks done while I had the available time. Oh well; I wasted it.

Oh  - my package from my sister that was to be here on Monday?  As I checked it last night - it was still showing in Mooresville.  I checked it this morning and it made it to Indianapolis.  I can't get it through my sister's head to hang on to the post office receipt UNTIL the package ARRIVES.  She had taken a photo of it and sent to me so that I could track it.  But she thinks she threw it away.  We can get a refund on the postage since the package hasn't arrived yet and she paid for priority.  But she has to have the original.  Sigh. And I'll leave that there.  The package will probably arrive tomorrow or Friday.  It doesn't matter, it's just clothes.

When was the last time you cried tears?  I read a story of a certain young man who was seeking a breakthrough in his life in a certain area but had exhausted all he knew to gain spiritual breakthrough. He wrote to General William Booth (founder of the Salvation Army) for advice.  The General wrote back two simple words, "Try tears.".  William Booth had learned the secret. The inner chamber of prayer gains its impetus from the liquid power of tears. Do you long for a greater reality in your walk with God?  Try tears.

Tears are liquid words; words that we don't know how to articulate, and yet need to get out.  God sees each and every tear we cry.  Especially those we let fall in the pain of the heart.  King David had an absolutely sincere secret life with God and was a man of tears.  David cried out in Psalm 39:12 - "Hear my prayer, Lord, listen to my cry for help; do not be deaf to my weeping."  David had no problem coming before God with his weeping and crying out for help.  Tears are sometimes the language of desire; things we want so badly that we will cry tears of anguish to get them.

Tears for healing of a loved one.  Tears of sorrow for the loss of someone you loved.  Tears for - well, it could be just about anything.  Think about it. When was the last time you had the urge (and probably pushed it away) had tears wanting to bubble up and fall and you would push them back down. After all, it's a sign of weakness, right? 

No, tears are a sign of strength.  Let me repeat that.  Tears are a sign of strength.  Strength to admit you care.  Strength to admit you had a desire.  Strength to admit you loved and lost.  Never laugh at someone's tears, you don't know what they are going through.

I have mentioned many times over the years (I think) that I frequently just want to curl up in a corner and cry - but am always afraid that if I let myself cry, the tears would not stop.  This morning is also one of those times, but I just don't have the time.  I actually can not remember the time I last allowed myself to let my tears out.  I sometimes laugh and say that's why I watch romantic movies - I can shed tears and no one is the wiser it is just a release of my emotions.  

One that got me recently and I almost couldn't stop was when I was watching an episode of The Chosen on Amazon Prime and I don't know how to spell her name - but she was the fiancée of Thomas, the disciple.  Quintus, the Roman Centurion was furiously angry at the Jews and he went out in the crowd where they were and as people scattered at his anger, Thomas and his fiancée walked past him and Quintus drew his sword and put it through the fiancée.... and of course she died.  It broke my heart and I nearly bawled!  Release of tears.  Sometimes we all need to let some tears fall to keep them at bay.  I cry at a lot of things, and I'm sure you do as well.

The Bible shares for either King David or Jeremiah - it escapes me right now - they wrote that God stores our tears in a bottle.  I often imagine my bottle of tears runneth over.  How full is your bottle? Is it empty of tears that you refuse to shed?  Tears are also a healing balm.  Once you release them, healing can begin.

Take a moment and think about the last time you shed tears.  Was it joyful tears?  Was it tears of sorrow?  Those tears often come unbidden.  But what about the longings you hold in your heart tears?  The pain you feel when you want so much for your children and they spurn your hope for them aside. The longings of bringing joy to someone only to have it tossed aside as if nothing.  It's ok to cry.  God gave us tears to bring healing to our minds, and to our hearts.

I am a crier. I used to sit in church and cry throughout the songs. I usually was told I embarrassed the family.  But I had no control of my tears. I could not stop them.  Finally, my tears dried up - at least during the songs. Although occasionally, when I am really into worship, I still have tears that fall.  I love Jesus so much and my heart yearns to know Him more.  I cry tears in here as I bring my requests to Jesus.  Right now there is a lot of heaviness as I'm asking for a lot.  

But the good news is, when I pray, and release my request to Him, I can walk away and know that He will take care of everything.  I may not get the specific request I made, but regardless of how it turns out, I know that He is in control and He is Lord of all.    Can you take a moment and whisper a prayer to Him, and perhaps even let a tear fall, and trust Him to take that pain and sorrow and bring healing?  Best thing you could ever do.

I have prayed, "Lord, please break my heart for whatever breaks yours" - and although that prayer was many years ago, I still find myself with tears over things I read or are out of my control. I watch the videos of the aftermath of the Hurricane Helene and my heart hurts for all those who have lost everything.  What would be your prayer?

Blessings!

First things first...

 Had to pause for a moment and send my favorite boss a Blue Mountain birthday card via email.  I'm glad I signed up for that some time ago - but I often forget to use it.  I'm cheap anymore when it comes to buying cards - I'd rather make them - but I don't do that either. So it's is much easier to pay $29/year, I think it is, and send cards whenever I want to - holidays, birthdays - whatever - to whomever I want.  I just don't always remember to do it.  But today I did and I got it sent off.  I'm also meeting my boss for breakfast in the morning for one of our 'admin' meetings and I will take her a small gift, plus her 'Boss's day' gift that is in a couple weeks.  Cheaper this way. Two birds with one stone, right?   

My sister sent me a box of clothes on Saturday.  The receipt from USPS said it was to be delivered yesterday.  However, when I check the tracking number... it tells me that it is still in Mooresville.  The same thing happened last week to a package I sent to her - it kept saying it was here, and it took an extra day for her to get it.  Today is the day after, so will see if I get it today.  I am hoping that something will fit me.  Her friend was a 'classy' lady, but , styles change and I'm hoping that something will fit.  My sister said it is jeans and jackets and tops.  Well, I can hope this fat body can fit into something.

I feel like I'm in over my head with this bread making.  I just don't understand the directions that was sent with the starter.  You get the starter, you add water, you add flour. Then the next day, after it rises, you take about 1/2 cup of starter out, and it says then to throw the rest away - and calls it 'discard' - or you can keep it and use for pancakes.  What?  Well, I kept it in another bowl, and now the starter has risen again, and if I recall correctly, it says to add water and flour, and do the same thing.  I'm so confused.  I do need to call my granddaughter and ask her what in the world am I supposed to do with this stuff?  There's too much!!  I'm thinking I may skip a couple steps and take the discard and add flour and just throw in the oven and see what happens.  It's just yeast, flour, and water, right?  And of course we are wanting to cut back on bread.  But I'm wanting to learn so that I can make it for gifts. Or, maybe I can pay my granddaughter and let her make it for me?  I've bought a lot of neat stuff for the bread... maybe she would want it?  Could I bribe her?  But then, she doesn't have a lot of time either.  But I know she bakes great bread!!  I don't know what I'm going to do but I need to quickly make a decision - like today - for the rising dough is going to be a mess.   I want to go back to when I baked bread before.  I put the yeast in (no starter) and let the bread rise, punch it down, knead it, let it rise again, and then put in the oven and just bake it.  Or the real easy way.... buy frozen dough at Frys and let it rise and bake it. But where is the satisfaction in that?

Didn't sleep well again last night. Well, I did until about 11:30PM when I awoke and then tossed and turned off and on the rest of the night.  Hubby told me this morning that I punched him in the stomach during the night.  I don't remember that at all.  He thought it was funny (this morning, I'm sure not during the night!).  I got so hot that I threw the covers off (a sheet and a light quilt half-way up) just to cool off.  Am I going through heat flashes that I had years ago?  I know I often wake up drenched in sweat, but contributed that to me curling up in a ball.  Not sure what is going on with my body, but I don't like it. And I have another headache; but at least I didn't wake up at midnight with a pounding headache like the night before.  I will need to take something when I get off here, it is that bad.  Usually I just shrug them off.  Coffee isn't even helping this morning.

I didn't get much done at work yesterday - I have no reason; just didn't.  With two bosses out today I need to focus and complete some things.  At least get the minutes done from the last board meeting! I sometimes need to write myself notes to remind me to do them.  And this may be one of those mornings!   And with two bosses off today, I'm hoping I can have lunch with an old friend.  We have been meeting at Jack in the Box because the restaurants end up costing us each $20 by the time you order a salad and tip - and we're both complaining. We can get something for $10 or less at Jack in the Box. And enjoy each other's company.

Provers 17:28 (TPT):  When even a fool bites his tongue he's considered wise. So shut your mouth when you are provoked - it will make you look smart.

I read that this morning and got the giggles a bit.  We all can think of people who would look a lot wiser and smarter if they WOULD keep their mouth shut - right?   How often do we feel that we have to put our 2 cents worth in about something, when if we chose to just remain silent that it isn't us not agreeing or contributing to the discussion, but we are being smarter by NOT commenting on anything. (did that even make sense?)  See, there is a reason I don't talk a lot when out with others... and hubby calls me out about it - and makes me introverted.  LOL   I know I have a lot of smart and good things to day... but sometimes  it isn't about me - I don't need to voice my opinion about a lot of things. I can get in to trouble easily enough without even opening my mouth, than doing so and causing discontent.

Reminds me of that saying:  Better to be thought a fool than to open the mouth and remove all doubt.

Or something like that. Some people would be better off keeping their mouth shut.  In all circumstances. And I'll leave that right there.

It is just way too easy to let my fingers do the talking in here.  Voice my opinion about things.  Maybe that is what is causing the headaches lately - I'm keeping too much (thoughts) inside?

And with that - be considered wise today.  Think before you speak.  I'm going to try to!

Blessings!

It was different - but a good different

 We did go to the Salvation Army church yesterday and it was very nice, actually.  And, yes, it was different than what we have been exposed to.  We walked in; I saw some seats all the way to the left so that's where we head to sit down.  It didn't take long for us to figure out we were in the 'youth section'. Hey - we're young at heart' - right?  We got there with about 5 minutes to spare.  And we saw several people turn to look at us - whether because we were new or because we were sitting in the youth section, I'm not sure. LOL  The church was very friendly and we immediately felt welcomed.  It wasn't very large - which I'm glad, for we can get to know more people this way.  Maybe 50 people including the youth?  Mostly older people, but a few middle-aged.  The one thing we noticed was that they songs were s-l-o-w.  They had a piano player; maybe she couldn't play any faster?  LOL  They have a 'brass band' who play up to the time to start at 10:45AM.  Then they all take a seat.  They had different people to come up and read scripture, take the tithes and offerings, etc.  As soon as church was over, we had about 5 people come over and introduce themselves.  We really did feel welcome.  Hubby started 'dropping names' of the couples we know who go there when they are in town (snowbirds - and speaking of, it may get larger when the snowbirds are back).  I could have kicked him!!  I don't want them to know we went there but surprise them when they come back to town!  Anyway - I mentioned that we were just searching for a church and one man said, "well, you have one now".  It was very nice and we both felt welcomed.  AND, after each service (which only lasts one hour versus the two hours we have been sitting through for the past few years) - they serve lunch.  Yesterday was teriyaki chicken and they ask when we come in (and receive a bulletin) if we are staying for lunch. I am going to 'assume' it is donation-based.  We didn't stay as I had plenty of meat at home I needed to cook.  Yes, it would have helped us get to know people, but again, I had food at home.  Maybe next Sunday.  Hubby liked it, as did I.  Yes, the music was slow, and the pastor (who is a major in the Salvation Army and they do wear their uniforms!) spoke clearly and slowly.  I actually learned some things as he shared Ecclesiastes 1:1.  Is Life all Meaningless?  I got more out of that message than I have out of many lately.  Anyway - good service, friendly people, and we are planning on going back next week.  It's 5-8 minutes away from the house.  Casual wear, pretty much.  Several of the men had their uniforms on; some of the women.  About 20 youth, which surprised us.  But they also do a lot in the community, which is what I like. I want to find out more about that - although my time is limited.  Maybe hubby can find something to do.  

The donuts we ate yesterday morning that were so sweet?  We threw the rest of them away.  Even hubby complained that they were like eating pure sugar, which he said surprised him.  I need to dispose of these cookies I bought too. It's not like I spent a lot of money on them - but it has made me realize that we really don't eat a lot of sugary food (except the occasional candy) - and even eating the cookies with the icing (I'm sure Oreos wouldn't be that bad), the sugar was pretty bad.  And I am ok with dumping them. I thought about giving them away, but why give sugar away to someone who also doesn't need it?  I need to make cookies cause they don't taste near as sweet as these processed ones do.  

But - hubby and I also discussed - cause I put on a dress yesterday that 'used' to be loose on me and I wore a belt.... it was tight on me. Which means the dresses that have a waist on them I may not even be able to wear.  So starting today - if we can do it - we are cutting back on breads (so much for baking?) potatoes, pasta and other carb-loaded foods.  I've reached the point I don't know what to do. I am gaining weight and most days I may only eat one meal. I am sure a lot of it is my sitting all day.  I need to utilize my treadmill and the weights I have and focus on it and quit telling myself hubby will annoy me.  I know some is muscle, but I feel the large majority of my weight is from sitting all day and eating the wrong foods.  It's all on me.  Literally.  Still too hot to go walking - and it's dark early in the morning - my neighbor goes at 7AM, but I start work then.  I just need to tell myself - and make myself - DO SOMETHING.  I've got to get this weight off - I have no clothes but my jeans if I don't!! if  Although My doctor and I did discuss that my TSH was off.... and she is increasing my thyroid pill - and I've read that when the TSH if off, you can gain weight.  I'm hoping that's the reason I can't get the weight off.  Not going to go to just eating salads, but more meat and vegetables and less potatoes, breads, and pasta. 

I still want to bake bread, though, cause I want to give some for Christmas gifts to the neighbors.  I finally did the first step of the starter yesterday - and it said 8-24 hours before it rises, then take about 1/2 cup out and save it as a new starter.  By the time we went to bed it hadn't done anything.  It if hasn't this morning, I may just dump it and ask my granddaughter (who I probably should have gone to anyway) to give me a start from hers and show me what to do to 'feed' it and when to use it.  When I baked bread years ago, I did it all from scratch - no starter (starter is the yeast is active and ready to be used).  I mean we added yeast and flour and let it rise then added flour and let it rise and when it got so big, you baked it.    I may resort back to it.  Although the sourdough bread my granddaughter makes is so good!!  Isn't sourdough good for you?  Ok - it's still bread.  sigh.

My male boss is on vacation this week.  My favorite boss is taking tomorrow off (her birthday), and she and I meet up for breakfast on Wednesday morning.  I want to make some salsa for her and maybe some cheesecake cookies, but I have both a small gift for her birthday and one for 'boss's day so that I don't have to mail it.

I woke up at midnight last night/this morning and had a pounding headache.  I have no idea why I had it, but I laid there and tried to go back to sleep.  I tossed and turned until about 3:45AM and finally gave up and took an ibuprofen and came in here to lay back in my chair, hoping to get rid of it. It finally went away about 30 minutes later. Soon hubby brought my coffee so there was more caffeine to get me to wake up.  The headache is gone, but I feel so tired from lack of sleep.  Yes, I was praying - not know if my boys were 'up to something' .... 

Ecclesiastes 1:2 (NIV):  "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."

 I know that when I have read Ecclesiastes that I just do that - I read it.  I don't stop to ponder it and dig in to what it says.  But Major Mark did take the above scripture and gave a lot of information about it.  Like I mentioned above, I found it very interesting on what he said. He quoted several things that others have said about it as well.  Why did Solomon say that life was meaningless?  Have you ever wondered about that?  I sure hadn't!  So what do you think he was referring to?

It's Monday and the start of a new week - do you realize how close Christmas is?  I have so much to get done!  Still haven't visited Ms. Diane or Ms. Vicky for a good month or more.  I really need to do that too.  Sigh.  I just don't get why I can organize my time better.  When I was working, it would be 6PM before I got home and I still got a lot of things completed.  Now I work from home, quit at 4PM, fix dinner, eat, and sit my butt down and next thing I know it's 8:30 and we go to bed.  Yeah, I guess I did stay up a bit later when I worked in the office.  We've gotten so lazy that by 8:30PM we both are falling asleep.  I really do not like getting 'old'.  But I need sleep too, and my mind wakes up around 4AM every morning.  I must change some things; I'm not liking this at all.  I've lost my life.

And... I need to get off here and get going on things.  Hope that YOUR day has meaning and you can look back on it and see what all you have accomplished.

Blessings!

Going to someplace somewhat 'new'....

 Hubby and I discussed last night what we were going to do this morning.  Stay home and watch the services we watch on You Tube or go in person to the church.  We tossed it around, then I told him what I had been thinking about recently.  Go to The Salvation Army church.  There is one near us; actually closer than the church we had been going to.  We personally have not heard this pastor, have not met him.  But our friends from one of the RV parks are connected to it, and they have invited us before, but we never took them up on it.  One actually is an 'officer' in the Salvation Army and we actually got to see him in his uniform when he performed the funeral of his sister there.  That was when we saw the inside of the church, and it is very nice.  They have Sunday School classes.  They also serve a lunch after church if you want to stay.  I often donate to the Salvation Army because when I was researching a few years ago on where does the money go that is donated - and the Salvation Army is the only one where the leaders are either paid a minute amount or it is all volunteer.  The money goes to where you want it to go - to help others.   I see it that if we choose to change our worship to that location, perhaps we can get involved more easily.  Music is outstanding - and traditional.  It's also not Pentacostal, which means no yelling and screaming like someone is hard of hearing.  Sorry - nothing against Pentecostals.... but I don't think my God is hard of hearing as I know He hears me when I whisper to Him.  Stay tuned; but that is the plan this morning.

I was bad yesterday.  I had a major craving for sweet.  I wanted ice cream. (which would have been wiser overall to just give in and go get it)  So I went to the grocery store as I needed to get a few things, and my thinking was I'd pick up a container of ice cream.  Sounded wise to me, right?  But as I walked around, I thought how I'd have to buy TWO containers of ice cream because hubby has his favorite, and so do I.  So what did I do?  It was so stupid.  I bought 3 packages of too sweet cookies; AND a package of apple cider glazed donuts.  (The Salvation Army is also right down the road from Bosa donuts so I thought I'd save us a trip there).  So stupid.  Broke open the cookies when I got home.  Didn't realize a couple had icing on them - which made them too sweet.  I wanted plain shortbread cookies.... and obviously bought the wrong ones.  Hubby brought me a donut with my coffee this morning.  WAY too sweet!!  Of course I ate it - can't waste it - right?  But now I'm feeling yecky.  I don't normally eat that much sweet stuff - at last in that much volume.  I'm ok with throwing the rest of the box away - but may just need to throw into the freezer until that sugar craving happens again.  I will throw away some of the cookies; hubby doesn't know how many I bought - and he doesn't need them either.  I don't know what overcame me at the store.  I didn't even buy any ice cream - and that is what I was craving!!  But I will admit, the few cookies I ate last night, plus the donut I had this morning - has removed any craving for sweet that I had.  Maybe that is a good thing, right?

I worked on one of the Christmas projects yesterday for about 5-6 hours straight - minus helping hubby get his Notre Dame football game on TV - and FINISHED it!  I still have some things to do with it - but for now, the tedious task of what I was doing is completed.  I'm so anxious to get it totally finished I can hardly stand it.  I'm also so excited to see what the person it is for - will say about it.  Will they like it? Will they just put it away?  Can't tell anything about it just in case they read in here.... some do some don't some occasionally.  So I'll keep it to myself.  So excited to be finished with it - didn't realize the time as it isn't tiring to do.  

I'm changing things up starting this morning in my quiet time.  (I'm not even watching Free Chapel this morning!)  I dug out a new copy of Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson.  It's a book on 40 days of prayer.  Based off the book The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson, it's going into prayer for 40 days.  I want to revitalize my prayer life (you could say I've gotten lazy and rote) and dive back into prayer.  I've got my 'circle' laid out to pray in - (you'd have to read The Circle Maker or go back a few years to when I wrote about it to understand that) - which is my prayer rug that I have.  I have my book, my journal, all next to it and when I finish this, I am ready to get down on the floor and read chapter one in the book and do some serious praying.  Lord knows I do have much to pray about!

There wasn't much 'real stuff' going on around me for awhile and I got lazy in praying.  That happens to each of us, I think.  We start just praying the same ole things for each of our family members, not knowing exactly what is going on.  For some you pray their eyes will be opened to the Truth; for others we pray for wisdom, still others, for their health.  But it has been all general stuff because nothing critical was going on.  It seems like I was praying one day and I asked God to stir my heart with passion to be in prayer with Him again.  I've gotten lazy in my prayer time.  Well, He certainly has answered THAT prayer!  I would prefer NOT having any crisis going on in the family right now, no medical issues, no trials or hardships.  But God knows my heart and He knows what will keep me on my face before Him, and sometimes, it is hardships and things like that, that will drive one - drive a mother or father, to their knees to seek God's hand upon their family.  After all, God is the only One who can answer our requests.  He uses doctors, yes, but He also does miraculous things.  Our job is to pray.  And leave it in His hands.

2 Corinthians 12:6-10 (NIV):  Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth.  But I refrain, so that no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I was reading in one of my journals this morning and I found this comment.  The thing that enabled Paul to endure his 'thorn in the flesh' was God unfolding His purpose to Paul for the thorn. Once Paul saw purpose, he could cooperate with God's grace.

Many times (we think) we feel that 'thorn in the flesh' and all we do is complain about it.  Am I right?  We are short on cash one week - and we grumble on how we have too many bills.  (But did we stop and think how we spent our money that week to cause us to run short?)   Or what about when we really want to do something and then all the plans fall through?  Or we have high hopes of being involved in a project and what we desired doesn't happen?  Oh there are so many things that we can use or say for our 'thorn in the flesh'.  I have (confession here) even said at times that hubby is my thorn in the flesh for he keeps me from a lot of things!  But do I ever think about what I keep him from? (ok, probably not much).  Instead of complaining so much about what I feel he keeps me from, I probably ought to be thanking God that I'm not doing everything I say I want to do, right?

I was going to give you an excellent example, but as I wrote it, I felt like I shouldn't share it.  It wasn't about me, so I shouldn't voice my comments.  But some people do cause you to shake your heads at their actions - and their words of complaint - right?  Don't spend money you know you don't have.  Stop scrolling through 'special sales' and tempting yourself to buy (speaking to myself here as well) for someone.  Lord knows that half the stuff we see online are not exactly what we receive!  Trust me, I have experience in that area!  

My most recent 'what do you think you are doing?' purchase is to get things to make my own bread. My granddaughter makes hers and it is so good. I've mentioned it before.  I may be calling her soon to help me figure out the starter mix and see if she will give me some of her starter mix - she has offered before but I declined for I didn't want to deal with it.  But now I want to make some for Christmas gifts so I need to learn how to do it.  Today would be a good day to get that starter mix going.  Note to self, call granddaughter.

Instead of complaining, how about thanking God that He is teaching you something through the trial?  You may not know what that lesson to be learned is - but it will be revealed to you in time.  Out of a job? Maybe it is a time to re-evaluate what you can do - and what you can do for others.  I know my son is waiting on work and in the meantime, has been getting involved in community type projects. He's using his time proactively as he waits for work to come in.  Running short on cash?  Evaluate where you are spending that you don't need to.  Yes, I spent way too much on sweet stuff yesterday and I'm regretting it - whether I give away, throw away or put in freezer, I haven't decided yet - but I must get that sweet stuff out of focus.  It isn't good for either of us.  (ok, maybe ONE won't hurt that much - which was my intent.  But when did ONE cookie satisfy anyone?)  

And with that - I need to jump off here and continue with my reading.  Hope you have a good day!

Blessings!