Asleep on the job....

 Now that does not usually happen!  But it did yesterday.  Ironically, both of my 'big' bosses had doctor appointments and were offline.  One I'm not sure if it was even a doctor appointment - all the calendar said was appointment confirmed  The other, he told me that he had a palm prond (?) stuck in his knuckle and had been unable to get it out - and it was swollen, red, and hot.  He had a doctor's appointment for sure.  I'll have to check on him today when I sign in.  But - with all that 'excitement' in their lives, about 3:23PM (I had just looked at the clock), I realized I just felt exhausted.  I laid my head down on my desk, thinking it would be just a few minutes - and the next thing I knew it was 3:55PM.  I was 'out cold' for right at 30 minutes!  I must have been more tired than I thought I was!  That isn't something that happens very often, and it shocked me at how deep in sleep I was.  I reviewed and responded to what emails I needed to, then shut the computer down for the day.

After fixing and eating stir fry for dinner, I headed over to visit Ms. Diane.  She's doing fine, but still has mind issues at times.  Her birthday is Saturday; I think she will be 87; not sure.  I told her I'd make her breakfast if she'd get up around 8AM.  I'll put eggs ole' together tonight and then bake it in the morning and take some over to her.  I think I'll make either a key lime or french silk pie for her as well and she can serve it for Easter.  Her children come to her house to have Easter lunch/dinner with her because she doesn't like leaving with her difficulty with walking.  I told her I would buy her a gift, but know that she doesn't need anything.  So then she went on about wanting to give me something for visiting her, etc.  I just tell her 'don't you take away my blessing'.  I do love that dear woman, cranky as she can get at times. Her daughter is there every day, cleaning her house, fixing her something to eat, sitting and visiting.  Her daughter is so patient with her (at least in my presence) and I've never heard her raise her voice.  She's beautiful too.  Diane's boys come visit her on weekends.  Yeah, we have learned to recognize their cars. I love that they check in on her and help where they can.I love that they check in on her and help where they can.I love that they check in on her and help where they can.  Diane's boys come visit her on weekends.  Yeah, we have learned to recognize their cars. I love that they check in on her and help where they can.I love that they check in on her and help where they can.I love that they check in on her and help where they can.  Diane's boys come visit her on weekends.  Yeah, we have learned to recognize their cars. I love that they check in on her and help where they can.I love that they check in on her and help where they can.I love that they check in on her and help where they can.

Ms. Vicky leaves tomorrow - or at least that was the plan a week ago - for a 10 day trip with a friend.  They are heading to Nebraska.  Not so sure it is wise to head that way (two older women alone) with the weather so uncertain as it is.  I think Ms. Vicky is having second thoughts too.  I need to check on her today and see if she is going and when they plan to leave.  Perhaps even pray over her for safety.

Galatians 2:20 (NKJV):  "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."

Paul made that firm statement to the Galatians when he wrote them.  Fully committed to Jesus Christ. Walking with Him constantly.  How did he do that?  I have no idea.  But how I wish I could say that very same sentence!  I mean, I know that Christ lives in me, and I know that I walk with Him and that He hears me when I pray to Him.... but to have a life totally devoted to Him... that's commitment.  Reminds me of Brother Lawrence.  Have you heard of him?

Brother Lawrence was a monk in a Carmelite monastery in Paris many, many years ago.  He decided he wanted every thought to be of God, to practice the presence of God in every thought.  That was  his goal, and I believe he was successful. There is even a book about it called "The Practice of the Presence of God."

Brother Lawrence, as the result of a spiritual experience, set out to create a sense of God's presence by continually talking with Him.  He started out with turning his thoughts to God for seconds of every minute, until he was continually talking to God simply and directly, and doing everything as an act of love for God.  Every moment he gave to God and emptied himself.  

And how hard it is for us nowadays to just sit still for a few minutes to seek God's Presence!  Our minds are so full of distractions.  Brother Lawrence didn't just sit all day and think about God; he worked in the kitchen every day in the monastery and as he worked, he made a point to turn his thoughts to God.  He kept busy, and yet, thought of God.  How many of us, in the busyness of our lives, are lucky enough to think of ANYthing other than the task ahead of us?!

I'm so longing to get away for a few days and just spend it with God.  I may check around and (I know hubby would be 100% ready to go anywhere I chose) and find someplace we can go for a couple days to refresh and renew.  Yes, we could stay at home too.  I mentioned to hubby that I had been thinking about doing a 'retreat' here in my room for a Saturday morning as I used to frequently take in our other house.  But there is a big difference here.  This room is a bedroom, an office, my quiet room... and there is not a lot of room left to 'just be'.  It's cluttered and enclosed.  In the other house that room was mainly my quiet room, until we started working from home.  I need a change of scenery.  But - will have to check on it...  when I get to feeling the need to get away with God... I need to act on it.  Yes, I'd love to be away by myself, but hubby certainly would not 'allow' it.  A whole 'nother thing.

Other than fixing eggs ole' for Ms. Diane, and perhaps a pie for her Easter, plus a couple pies for our Easter lunch, I don't have much plans for tomorrow.  Maybe hubby and I can get out an walk.  I'm just a little concerned about his ability to walk more than half a block without falling.  But he is starting to get on the treadmill again and holding on, walk a little bit to build up his leg strength.   I need to work on my endurance as I've gotten quite lazy, I'm afraid.  Sunday will be church, and then our Easter lunch at the daughter's.  My heart really misses the family gatherings at 'my' home years ago.  Just isn't enough room here... it would drive hubby over the edge. haha.  He's ok with a family at a time, but everyone together - he gets too distracted and overwhelmed.  Does that come with 'old age'.  He informed me last night that he doesn't feel old.  Which is good.... but why does he act old?  Oh my - am I acting old too?  I know his behavior rubs off on me at times.... and I have to push through it.  I need to get more active!

And now I'm rambling... Again.  So I'll hush. Hope that you have an amazing Friday.  I pray that you will fill the nudge of God to ........................  whatever He wants you to do.... and not only feel His nudge, but that you act on it.  Why not turn your thoughts to Him this Easter, the One who was crucified and died for you.  No matter what you have done or thought; He is still your Savior, your Redeemer, your Friend.

Blessings!

And then.... almost nothing....

 Yep - that is how my day was yesterday.  Almost nothing.  No meetings to attend, only one meeting, I think, that I had to schedule.  I chatted with one of my bosses a bit on teams.  I think that was about it.  But I was available.  And I did have correspondence with a couple of the other admin/executive assistants in that we were looking for information.  These days are rare and I am definitely not complaining.  It allowed me to get a few other things done that I had been putting off.

I'm getting an 'itching' to take some days off work - and yet - I don't really have a reason to take it off.  I may take off April 28th as I do have another eye doctor appointment downtown, which isn't a big deal as I can take off work for that.  But, I on my own, without knowing anyone  specifically, signed up for another women's conference in one of the nearby churches.  AND I got another hotel room because this one says it goes to 11PM!  My daughter agreed to go with me, but I think neither of us will stay up that late!  I don't know the speakers on this one either, but am looking forward to a time of worship with other women.  I am trying to get 'out' more and become involved with other women.  I've been a recluse far too long.  Still thinking whether or not to take that day off.

My right eye has been bothering me the past day or so.  I'll see how it goes today and if it continues, will be calling the eye doctor to have him take a look at it.  I keep wondering if I did something because the first two weeks it was fine; no irritation or anything.  But now, it's like I have something in my eye and it waters and hurts.  Yeah, I may have to give him a call.  I just don't want to go downtown again.... but may have no choice.  He is only in metro area on Tuesdays, I think.  I don't think I should wait that long.  My left eye is perfectly fine.  It's really weird - in the past, I could see the print on my computer without glasses easily enough - and if I did have difficulty, I grabbed the magnifying glass to see it (hence the surgery).  Now I wear the $1 reading glasses I picked up somewhere and see it so much clearer!  I'm wearing my prescription reading glasses now, and they don't seem to be as clear as the $1 ones.  Imagine that.  When my vision settles down, wonder what it will be.  It seems that distance is much better than closer - and I've been nearsighted all my life, so it definitely is a change for me!

Powerful prayer meeting at church last night.  I debated on going, but we did.  The entire service is prayer and just sitting in God's Presence is well worth going.  It also allows the joining of prayers for our church, family members, ourselves, as well as the country and the world.  Some people who felt they have been spiritually beaten up lately went up to be anointed and prayed over.  It was a good service and actually ran over about a half hour - but that's ok.  We were in God's Presence.

I think we have decided not to attend the sunrise service this year as our pastor won't be speaking.  I know, lame excuse, but we've had a few other speakers lately and hubby wants to hear our pastor.  He will be speaking at our 10AM service so we will go then.  The thought occurred to me last night that years ago, getting a new dress for Easter was the 'thing'.  My children always got Easter baskets and a new outfit to wear to church.  That fell by the wayside as they become teenagers... except the Easter baskets.  As adults with families now, they realize how expensive that can get!  Especially when you don't want to fill the basket up with candy.  Then one by one, you stop making them... and a piece of your heart hurts for times gone by.  Depending on how involved you were with making baskets for your children - or even your spouse (yes I used to do that too) - can cause a heartache loss.

New dresses.  Ugh.  I do not care for the style women's clothes have gone to the past few years.  That is partly the reason why I don't like to go shopping.  I think I realized my 'problem' with shopping for clothes a few nights ago.  Besides the 'fluffiness' of my body.... and this is a hard realization for women - in most cases.  I do not feel old.  Even at 73, I do not consider myself old.  I'm not ready to sit and crochet the remainder of my days.  I'm not ready to give up living.   But have you noticed the women's dresses are either short/tight/lowcut/etc...... or they are matronly/chunky/highcollar/old....?  There is no in between!!  I can't wear a dress for a teenager - but I don't want to wear my grandmother's dress either!  It has given me an urge to take sewing lessons and refresh my memory!  I need to make my own clothes.  I've never been a flashy dresser. 

Ok, so I did wear hot pants way back when.  Yes, I had the 'go-go- black boots to go with it.  I also had the body to look good in it.  Those are things of the past.  I'm more reserved now; more conscious of how low my top comes; the length of my dress/skirt.  But I feel I can still dress nice - when I can find the right outfit.  I have found that Penney's has the best dresses for my style... and as I work on my belly fat, I can wear what I have on hand that I have purchased from there years ago.  I love to wear suits - but the one or two I have left are toooo tight.  Yeah, that big butt of mine keeps getting in the way of that too.  That's another whole ballgame.

Wow - from Easter baskets to making my own clothes... that's a big drop!  Bored yet?  I think this is one of my 'rambling' days.  

Skimmed through one of my 'new' cookbooks yesterday and found a couple more recipes that I want to try.  Went online and ordered groceries for pick up.  I haven't gotten groceries for about 3 weeks so had several things to pick up besides the other things for the recipes.  Can you believe that Frys said they were out of green bell peppers?  Since it is just listed as 'bell peppers', I am wondering if the clerk just didn't know what they were!  I made an irritated comment as I was told they were out of bell peppers - "I guess I'll have to go to Safeway".  Snarky, huh.  But I need my bell peppers for the recipes!  And I can't make salsa without the bell peppers either!  I may take a break and do a run over to Safeway today.  I did get fried chicken and a rotisserie chicken too - we had the fried chicken last night with mashed potatoes and broccoli.  My comfort food.  And it tasted so good.  I'll tear the meat off the rotisserie chicken today to put in other dishes.  Maybe we will have stir fry tonight.  

It's only 6:18AM and I hear the landscapers out already working on the trees and lawn.  They are supposed to trim our tree in the back, plus 'manicure' the tree in the front of our house today.  So ready for it - they did one side the other week and didn't touch the other side!  Looks crappy and I've let hubby know (as president of the HOA) that I was not happy with it.  He got angry with my comments but I told him that just because he is the president doesn't mean he can let things go for us!  What is the saying about a cobbler's family are the last ones to get shoes?  I've actually nagged about the trees in front and back of our house.... I don't like the trees, period.  They shed way too many little tiny leaves all over the place.  As far as I'm concerned, cut them down!  But 'we' don't own them, the HOA does (whoopee) so I tell hubby I CAN nag at him to get them done right!  He told me last night they will be getting them done.  See - what if I hadn't nagged at him?

Matthews 11:28-30 (NKJV):   "Come to me, all of you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

Feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?  Take a deep breath, and just rest for a few minutes.  Sit still; close your eyes; breathe deeply.  Let all the tension leave your shoulders, your body; all your cares release from your mind.  Take this deep moment of rest.  That's what giving all your troubles, fears, issues, to Jesus feels like.  Complete peace.  

You can't always change circumstances, but God can.  Struggling with emotions or fear?  Give them to Jesus.  Overwhelmed with bills or with life?  Give them to Jesus.  

Whatever is troubling your heart or mind, take a moment and hold out your hands and say "Jesus, I give this to you.  Please take over.  I'm tired of not sleeping.  I'm tired of struggling.  I'm tired of worrying.  I give it all to You.  Thank You for the peace that passeth all understanding.  Help me to trust You, to believe in You when I doubt You.  Help me to see Your hand upon my life, because I know that someone is also praying for me.  I struggle, Lord, to believe in You.  Help my unbelief.  In Your name I pray, amen."

Blessings!

It's been a very busy few days....

 I have had to do more work the past two days for the office than I have for awhile.  Had to fix right about 24 letters, schedule numerous meetings... just grateful I only needed to attend one!  It's been a lot of 'busy work'.  Hopefully, today will calm down.

I was asked to bring dessert to our gathering on Sunday...Easter Sunday.  Makes me remember Easter baskets for my children.  What fun it was putting them together!  Warms my heart to think of them.  I wonder if they ever remember the little things, like Easter baskets, or Valentine candy.... ah... there I go again... down memory lane.  I miss my children being little ones.  Of course my memories aren't always theirs... perhaps I enhance them more with the desire to have been a good mom and loving them more than anything else.

Anyway- desserts.  Still trying to decide on what to take.  Thinking maybe I'll just go buy something.  Then, with my love of cooking, think about lemon meringue pie, or key lime pie, or even my cranberry apple cobbler.  Hmmm..... oh, I know!  Maybe a french silk pie!  I don't mess with making the crust.... but love to come up with the fillings!  Have I made you drool yet?

For some reason I'm thinking about McAllister's this morning.  Maybe because I picked up salad from there yesterday for dinner.  Their salads are totally awesome.  Their sandwiches are good too.  And, if you love baked potatoes - oh my - (have I shared this before?) you would not be disappointed!  Most times the baked potato is about (at least) 10 inches long, and about 3 inches wide - but then, they do split it open - but then they fill it full of whatever you want on it - vegetables, or meat, or just everything... hubby loves them and gets them 99% of the time we go there.  Prices are decent too.  People are friendly and they refill your drinks if you want, and they even (most times) come by your table to see if you need anything.  We enjoy their food - whether take-out (I use the app and order online - and I earn points either online or in person - AND it doesn't take long to earn a reward such as a free entree when you purchase one.   Might have to stop there and pick up something for lunch since I have an appointment in that area today at 11:15AM.  Sounds like a plan.

Matthew 9:9-13 (NLT):  "As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his collector's booth.  "Follow me and be my disciple," Jesus said to him.  So Matthew got up and followed him.  Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners.  But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with such scum?"  When Jesus heard this, he said, "Healthy people don't need a doctor - sick people do."  Then he added, "Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: 'I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.'  For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."

When Jesus called Matthew, He was calling a tax collector - a man the people hated.  Isn't it amazing that a person with the reputation like Matthew's would be chosen to write one of the four Gospels?  Your background may be a shameful thing.  You may think your poor reputation or the hateful response you have aroused in other people has disqualified you from being used to build God's Kingdom.  But you're wrong.  If God would choose and use a person such as Matthew, He can certainly choose and use you.  Whatever your background or your mode of operation may have been in years gone by, God isn't finished writing the story of your life.  He is still going to use you, if you are willing.

I have shared with you many times a lot of my background, a lot of my life - bad choices and all.  But God.  He chose me and has used me to bring others to Him.  It is humbling when someone from years past will remind me that because I taught them in kindergarten church, or lead a Bible study class, I helped them follow Jesus.  Many times, at the time of teaching, one never thinks of the influence they may have.  I'm grateful that when I hear these things, and very humbled that God would use someone like me to lead someone to Him, I can see where God had (and has!) His hand upon me.

And you know what?  God has His hand on you too!  It doesn't matter what your past WAS... yes, it is WAS because it is in the past.  It's amazing how God can take what WAS and bring it to IS.. who you can be in Christ.  He's waiting for you to say 'Yes' to Him.  As I have shared before, one doesn't have to be perfect to be a follower of Jesus.  One just has to be willing.  Jesus takes care of the rest.  If Jesus can forgive me for my past; trust me, He will forgive you of yours.   We aren't perfect (only Jesus is), but we are loved.

Blessings!

Dill Pickle Juice or Tonic Water?

 My legs are cramping this morning when I turn a certain way.  Need to grab some juice or tonic water when I come out of my room.  Cramping calves are annoying, let alone painful, to say the least!  Those of you who have to deal with it from time to time understand exactly what I am saying!  I'm thinking pickle juice this morning.... good way to start the day, right?

Well, I've had my coffee already, will need to drink water to clear the coffee taste out, but yeah, pickle juice is beginning to sound real good.  I'm glad my son told me about ordering it from Amazon.  Still on my first gallon, after all this time... don't drink much at a time.  Perhaps I need to change things up and just drink a small glass every morning.  Hmmm.... gotta love dill pickles.

Stayed up until nearly 10PM last night, finishing up a book I had started.  It was pretty good.  Of course you would have to like the books I read in order to understand that comment.  Now I do like romance books.... I just don't read them much anymore.  Jennifer Lynn Cary, my close friend, has written several Christian romance novellas now.  I've read several of them, but not all.  Some she has in series; some stand alone.  Because she is from Indiana, many of her books are based on the town of Kokomo.  Tales of the  Hob Nob Annex Cafe is a great one and one of her earlier books.  I really got caught up in it as she mentioned many things I remember about that time frame.  I've enjoyed reading several of her books, but because I get so 'caught up' in them, I get nothing else done.  I haven't read any for awhile although she has written a few books since the last one I read.

I wish I had more time to read - and perhaps someday I shall.  I often think I'd like to put all 'my' books in author order and then start reading them all over again; keeping things together would make it easier to track what I've read and what I have missed.  But alas, hubby and time prevent that for now.  I keep telling myself, Lord willing, someday I will get to live.  My older brother and I were chatting along those lines last night.  I had checked in with all my siblings as my brother-in-law had written about tornados and bad storms south of where they live in Speedway.  My little brother and sister said they were fine.  My big brother said a big ash tree behind his fence had been blown down.  He was going to hire someone to cut it up as he doesn't have that type of equipment to handle such a large tree.  

My brother's wife has officially retired from 34 years at Eli Lilly & Company as of April 1, 2023.  This means I am STILL the only one working (am I still complaining?) of all my siblings!  What's up with that?  They have a couple cruises planned and some other things in the future.  He sent me a photo of several vegetable plants they have been growing on their back porch, ready to put in the ground.  I'm jealous.  I would love to have a garden; I would even help keep it weeded!  I have my little garden 'box' I bought last year, but haven't gone to get plants to put in it yet.  It's harder starting from seeds when it is outside.  I probably should have done like my brother did and set up small pots to get them started inside the house - and move out when the weather is right.  It does give me thought for next year - but I have to write it down or I'll forget!!  We have a 'community' back yard so no garden there.  Sigh.  I don't want a big one; just one that I can get away with my thoughts and weed out; and gather the produce and enjoy good, organic food with a lot more flavor than one gets from produce at the store!  Speaking of which, I do need to go get more vegetables.  

I'm trying to find recipes and just buy what I need for those recipes.  So many times I have bought vegetables only for us not to eat them and they get thrown away.  Hubby actually got after me the other night about throwing something away untouched.  He grumbled about the waste of money (as if he paid for any of it - he didn't).  I just looked at him and said "it's been in the refrigerator for three weeks - if you wanted it, you should have eaten it".  His comment?  "I didn't know if you planned to use it in a recipe".  All he had to do was ask.... just saying.

Luke 6:31 (NKJV):  "And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise."

That verse is also what we call 'the Golden Rule".  Only we usually word it 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  

Then there are those who would say... 'do unto others before they do it to you'! 

All in all, we are called to help others as we would want to be helped.  To care for others as we would want to be cared for.  To speak to others as we would want to be spoken to.  To take care of others as we would like to be taken care of.  You get what it says, right?

It's not about you.  It's not about me.  It's about how we are to treat others - whether we like them or not.  There have been some people that for some reason they just irritate the 'heck' out of me.  I am sure you have people in your life like that as well.  Some you can't avoid.  Even when we don't like them, don't care for their behavior, we are called to love them and to treat them as we would want them to treat us.  There are some people in my life - and I'm sure in yours - that stirs you up whenever you even hear their name.  Those are the ones we need to pray for.  Those are the ones we need to overlook their faults - just as we want them to overlook ours.  And Lord knows, I have plenty of faults!  Some good, some bad, for sure.  Some days I totally withdraw.... because I don't want to deal with it... and other days I speak my mind and then feel guilty I let loose.  

Isaiah 6:1-7 (NKJV):  "In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said:  "Holy, holy holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!"  And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke.  So I said: "Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seek the King, the Lord of hosts.  Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth with it and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your iniquity is taken away, and your sin purged."

I remember a friend who had gone away on a retreat and she told me, when she returned, that she had had a boil come up next to her lips.  As she read the above scripture, she began to pray that the Lord would take the coal and touch her lips, that she would be cleansed..... and all of a sudden, the boil popped open and started running down her face.  She hadn't touched it.  To continue on with that scripture....

Isaiah 6:8 (NKJV):  "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here am I!  Send me."

The Lord has plans for each one of us when we submit to His authority, His rule.  It isn't hard to follow Jesus, and the benefits far out weigh anything you can imagine.  It's more than just 'doing good things for others'.  It's being in beautiful communion with the Lord.  People who are Christians also struggle at times.... but when one keeps their eyes on the Lord, He makes all things good.

"Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?"  Will you answer, "Here am I! Send me."?

Blessings!

A quiet interesting day...

 to a degree, anyway.  I truly enjoyed my time alone while hubby was at church.  I watched our church service online and I thought it was powerful.  It was a guest speaker, and he was very difficult to hear even through the computer at full volume.  He is in a wheelchair, with the body of about a 8 year old, head of a man.  Don't know the history.  But he is anointed, for sure.  He would speak a sentence or two, then would have to pause to get his breath.  He prophesied over a couple people as well.  Personally, I was so caught up in the message that I put down my crochet and listened intently.  At the end, (opening myself up here) I was bawling.  No, not just tears falling down my cheeks, I was bawling!  Don't know what triggered it; but it let loose.  It was freeing, to say the least, for I usually have to hold in most emotions.

I had started making deviled eggs for us when hubby came in.  I knew he had left the service early because I had only turned the computer off about 5 minutes before.  I also know hubby 'doesn't care to listen' to this man because he has difficulty hearing him.  Here I am expecting to hear "what a powerful message today!" only to hear a lot of complaining about he had difficulty hearing; he had prayed that morning for our regular pastor and instead go this one, our normal place to sit was taken so he had to sit  elsewhere and ended up behind three women who moved about a lot and spoke loudly. One spoke in tongues during prayer.  He could tell me more about the three women's actions than he could about the message.

I was shocked. I turned around to look at him and I imagine my mouth was open ad my eyes were wide.  What I expected to hear was not coming out of his mouth! Then he says 'why are you looking at me like that?'  So I told him.  I had expected him to comment it was a powerful message, etc.  Then he comes back to me with 'so I guess you are disappointed in me'.  Where does all this come from?  I just looked at him and told him what I got out of the service - and no, I wasn't disappointed IN him for 'missing it'.  I was disappointed FOR him, because he allowed his disappointment in not hearing Pastor Pat or Pastor Sharonda, having to sit in a different place, and the three women in front of him to distract his mind - that he didn't listen to what was said.  He started out angry.... and left angrier.  Does that make sense?  

I'm not sharing this to put him down.... we all have times that disappointment in things ruin the entire thing for us. I've had it happen to me; few people are immune to it.  We had further conversation about the speaking in tongues - and for a man who has taught on the Holy Spirit and has read numerous books and attended classes taught on the Holy Spirit, he seemed to not understand what He is.  That was scary for me.  How could he forget something like that?  He even asked me if it was Biblical to pray for the Holy Spirit!

Although I had cooked breakfast for him (since I didn't have to get dressed for church), he wanted lunch.  Usually if I fix breakfast we skip lunch..... but I went ahead and heated up leftovers and we ate lunch.  Then the TV came home and that is where he sat the entire afternoon and evening (except for dinner - I also had to cook dinner.  I sat on the couch doing my crochet and he sat in his chair.  Later he asked what we had gotten done ..... I just looked at him and said "I don't know what you did, but I finished up two baby blankets, made two washcloths and one dishcloth."  (at least I was productive while just sitting on the couch!)  Other than the TV in the afternoon, it was a quiet day. His behavior scares me... is it the start/continuation of the future?  Lord, please help.

Should I erase all this I have written?  I'm not sure.  It isn't a putdown... but it is something that is weighing heavy on my mind.  And my heart.  Need to do some praying over it, for sure.  I know how the message affected me, even though I couldn't hear it very well.  I'm praying hubby's ears will be opened so that he can hear clearly the Word spoken.  Anything that is out of the routine throws him off, it seems.  And I have to lean into the Lord, for I am afraid of what the future may bring.  Can I deal with it.... only with His help.  Lord, please help.

Proverbs 1:7 (NKJV):  "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.  But fools despise wisdom and instruction."

I've been listening to this book by John Bevere, The Awe of God.   In it he talks about having fear of the Lord.   It isn't being afraid of God, of what He could do to you, but having a healthy fear of God.  It's really very interesting.  In fact, John Bevere has also written a book called The Fear of the Lord and I don't remember if I read it or got it and then got sidetracked, but I think I have it on the shelf and plan to read it next.  Along with my other books. LOL  I did finish two books yesterday so am gaining on my count for the year.  Which reminds me, I need to record I finished them.  (sorry - got sidetracked!)

I know I already have lots to get done today.  One of the directors I support has left for a three week vacation - starting in Egypt.  But she left me about 16 letters to work on and make changes to. I hope I can understand her instructions.  She sent them over on Friday, but my eyes were burning (after all, it was the day after surgery and I had been staring at the computer screen) so I saw what they were and decided I needed to rest my eyes and shut the computer off about 15 minutes early.  

My eyes are doing very well.  I can actually see a bit more clearer than before.  I put on my usual distance (the old glasses) glasses I use for watching TV and it was blurry some, so watched without any.  My eyes sometimes feel like I have contacts on and I want to go take them off.  LOL  Technically, I guess I do have contacts..... they put a new lens in and took the old one out.   I still have healing to do, of course, and I don't need to go back for a month.  By then my eyes should have adjusted to everything and we  will see what adjustments will be needed in my glasses, for my vision will change.  I am still amazed at the vivd colors. I love it.  Things look so much more clearer and brighter.  I'm so glad I got it done.  

Need to jump off and get ready for the day..... hope that your day is amazing and full of...

Blessings!

A (very)little alone time ...

 I am not going to attend church this morning but will watch it online.  Hubby will be going to church without me.  Why?  Because I still have a little bruise under my left eye (which one could interpret as a black eye) and I cannot wear makeup for another day or two.  That may mean only eye makeup - but I'm not taking any chances.  My eyes are very important and I want to make sure they heal without any interference or problems that I caused by being vain. :-)  Yes, I'm vain to a degree; I tell people that God is the ONLY One who can stand me without makeup this early in the morning. :-)  Yet, there are many days I don't put makeup on, with being at home.

I visited Ms. Vicky next door yesterday afternoon.  Before I left, she asked me if I would like a cookbook.  Me? Turn down a cookbook?  Of course I wanted it!  She said it belonged to her mother or grandmother; she wasn't sure; she just knew it was old.  O.My.Goodness!  It is old.... when I got home I started to go through it - it was put together in 1940 - but it has something I have never seen before in ANY cookbook - it has TABS!  I didn't take the time last night to really look at it, but hope today to dive in to it some and see what recipes are in it.  I told Ms. Vicky I would find a recipe in it and make it for her.  She's funny.  She is on the heavy side and uses a walker and has trouble with her knees, I think it is.  She has been going to the pool down at the rec center to exercise her legs to strengthen them.  Now she has the mind set that I need to go with her and walk the pool.  We've been here three years and we haven't walked the pool yet.  She goes to a smaller rec center so I may not mind it... and it would be good for me... providing the water is warm.  I just can't do cold water.  She's going today, she says, so will let me know how cool the water is.  Well it WOULD get me going to the rec center for exercise, right?  Once I start it won't be so bad, right?  And I would have a friend with me, right?  She knows I can't go for at least a month so the water will be much warmer.  Can't take the chance of water splashing in my eyes (doctor's orders).  (I can take showers but don't let the water in my eyes)

Today is day 40 of my fast from Facebook, Linked In, and Instagram.  I have been tempted a few times, but have not fallen from my desire to stay off of it.  It really hasn't made much difference.  Tomorrow I will go through my 'notifications' and relate birthday wishes to those whose birthdays I missed and things like that.  Most won't need to even be looked at.  I think my notifications are about 170 or so ow.  No biggie.  If it was important for me to know about, and they are close, they would have my telephone number or email and could have sent me whatever message they wanted me to have.

I am praying about leading a small women's group.  They call them 'heart crews' at church.  I am thinking on Monday nights, as that worked out for us when we attended a group together.  That group fell apart after that class.  I don't mind doing couples... but a lot will depend if I am 'told' what to facilitate or if I am allowed to facilitate a class on what I feel God wants me to.  If I do a couple's class, hubby can attend; if it is just women, he'll have to find something to do.  It would be good for me to lead a class again for it causes me to dive deep into study and God's Word so that I can understand and teach clearly.  I've gotten lazy over the years I have quit teaching.  It's probably been about 6-8 years since I've taught anything.  First question is - what does the Lord want me to facilitate?

John 5:46-47 (NKJV):  "For if you believed Moses, you would believe Me; for he wrote about Me. ut if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe My words?"

So think about this.  When you read the books of the Old Testament, do you believe them?  Do you believe all that God gave Moses to speak?  Do you believe that God inspired Moses to write the first five books of the Old Testament - Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy?  If you believe Moses and what he wrote of God and His intervention to lead the Israelites out of Egypt - how can you not believe the words of Jesus in the New Testament.  The Old Testament is 'our' history just as it is of the Jews.  The New Testament is how we should live for Jesus.  I've heard the saying for years - but no one really says it anymore.... READ THE RED..  What does that mean?  It means read the words of Jesus in the New Testament.  Most bibles have Jesus' words in red; the bible I gave to my children have His words written in blue.  Not sure why; haven't figured that out.  I've seen it in blue in other bibles.  One bible I've seen - and it really surprised and disappoint3ed me - didn't have Jesus' words highlighted at all!  Jesus' words bring life!

Don't roll your eyes!  I have followed Jesus nearly 40 years now.... and I've never looked back.  Yes, I still made a lot of mistakes... but when God shows me what I've done, I repeat and ask forgiveness and hopefully learn NOT to do it again.  Following Jesus is the best thing I have ever done.  I could lose everything, like Job, but never lose Jesus.  As long as I seek His face, and turn to Him for my needs, He will always supply what I need.  Even when I don't know what that is.  The devil is always trying to tear me down in different ways.  He tries to destroy me emotionally through my siblings, through my children, through friends, through my spouse.  As long as I lean in to Jesus and seek Him first... He will always be my Hope, my Comfort, my Peace.  

He can be yours too.  Why not take a few minutes and just talk with Him this morning?  Tell Him what is going on in your life.  Talk to Him about your dreams, your successes, your failures.  Do you not know that He will wait for you forever, if He needs to, and will be sitting nearby, just to hear you call His name.  Trust me, if you will seek Him first in your day, you will be amazed how your day unfolds.  Try it.  Just call His name and talk with Him.  He is your best friend.

Blessings!

Changing my outlook...

 Hubby drove me yesterday morning downtown to get the patch removed from my left eye.  It felt so much better once the patch was removed!  My vision now in both eyes is 20-30 which I don't understand what that means... and the pressure is great.... so now I don't need to see the doctor until one month - unless I experience any problems..  Call him day or night.  I love this doctor.  He always ends each patient visit with 'God Bless'.  I remembered to tell him yesterday 'Happy Doctor' s Day' a day late - cause I really didn't see him at all the day of surgery.  He came in after I was out and was gone when I woke up.  He said he didn't even know there was such a thing and he really appreciated it. :-)

I wish I had gotten my cataracts removed much earlier!  Things are more clear, more vivid.  I love this new vision I have.  Yes, I will still need to wear glasses as before - but that's ok.  Even the green signs on the highway were a beautiful emerald green versus the drab olive green I always thought they were.  Who would have thought?

Hubby and I both went to bed early last night - by that - earlier than usual.  By 8PM I was struggling to keep the eyes open as was he - so we went to bed - and didn't get up until 5AM this morning.  But, I did awaken a few times during the night and my mind was awake long before I got up - which caused me to fall asleep in here - I thought for about 10 minutes but it ended up being an hour.  Sigh.  I got to stop soon and go jump in the shower.  

Today is the first of April - April Fools! - not!!  Yes, it is April 1st and the first Saturday of the month and I have Needles of Hope.  I wasn't going to go but decided to.  Hubby is going to drive me there and my daughter will bring me home if she makes it.  If not, I'll call hubby - not a big deal.  I'd stay home but Ms. Lori said she was bringing (donated) yarn. :-)  I told her I'd be there since she was bringing yarn - and mentioned hubby was bringing me and daughter will bring me back home.  She commented back something like 'Good, then you can get your new stash of yarn home!'.  LOL  I may take a couple skeins, but I usually wait until everyone takes what they want - then whatever is left over, I go ahead and take as well.  That's how I build my stash up.  I have about 18-20 blankets to turn in today so the yarn gets used for a good purpose - baby blankets for those what need them!  I'm getting to where I can get a blanket done within three evenings.

My oldest son and his wife are celebrating their anniversary by taking a hot air balloon ride this morning.  Yes, I've prayed for them to have a good time, for their safety.  I really do hope they have a good experience.  Hubby would never let me go.  Oh the things I will do (if I'm able) if I live long enough!

Deuteronomy 3:24 (NKJV):  "O Lord God, You have begun to show Your servant Your greatness and Your mighty hand, for what god is there in heave or on earth who can do anything like Your works and Your mighty deeds?"

I love this verse because it magnifies the majesty and power of our God.  He shows us every day - and if we are paying attention, we will see it - His might and power.  The clouds come in and go out.  The sun shines or the rain falls. Well, in our area it does.  But the point is, each 'thing' is from His greatness and from His mighty hand.  No one can duplicate what our God can do!

My heart grieves over the recent shootings of innocent children, the murders of many people, the floods, the tornados, the loss of homes and lives........... and I don't understand....  but because of the evil people in this nation, God has removed His hand from covering us as a nation.  What I want Him to do is to destroy those who cause this.... but instead, He wants me to pray for them.  Why?  Because He doesn't want anyone to go to Hell.  It is not a nice place.  I read a couple books about Hell several years ago - in fact, I think I still have a couple of them.  It is a place that I do not want anyone I love - or dislike even - to go when they die.  To burn constantly; flesh being burnt off in a continuous way.  

And that is why I pray.  I pray for each of my children and their spouses, grandchildren, and great grandchildren - and for future generations - that they will turn their hearts to Jesus.  He alone can rescue us and save us.  I pray for my siblings, that they will truly know Jesus as Lord.  Oh, they know of Him, some profess to be Christian, and I cannot judge for I do not want to be judged.  Our lives, as followers of Jesus, must reflect Him.  

What do you see when you see someone who calls themselves a Christian?   I'm not asking you to judge them; each of us walk as we feel Jesus leads us... but are they someone who's life reflects who Jesus is?

Jesus is love.  Jesus gave His life.  For you, for me.  We are getting ready to go in to Passion Week - the last week before Easter... the week when Jesus rode into Jerusalem (Palm Sunday) to when he was arrested (Thursday) and hung on the cross (Friday).... but you know what?

Sunday's coming!! and Resurrection Sunday DOES happen, and Jesus DID rise from the dead and conquered it for us!  Because of Jesus, we have hope that we will have eternal life after our own death and when He comes again, we will rise from the dead (or if still alive, will be raptured up with Him) to live with Him eternally.  What a joyous time that will be!

May you find the Hope that is only in Jesus this Easter.  Don't wait.  Turn to Him today.  You will never regret living for Jesus.  He is the only Way.  

Blessings!