Back to work Monday....

 Yes, here it is Monday again and I will shortly need to get on the work computer.  But, thought that I would try and get a few sentences put on here before I do.  

Got a call from my youngest this morning about 6:30AM with a report that my granddaughter is being admitted to the hospital with sepsis.  That can kill you, so I hope they find what is causing it and she recovers quickly.  Praying for her this morning for healing, and I ask that you pray as well.  I'm concerned as the roommates are caring for the baby... and I want to get her.... will have to figure out how to do this. Need to talk with hubby and I know I will get pushback- he doesn't like anything out of his control and out of his routine.  

Sigh.  I found a dog online by the name of Marley, a chocolate lab, 5 years old, housebroken, likes to walk, loves children.... just like my Marley.  The reason this Marley is in the shelter is that her owner died.  I want her.  I sent the information to hubby.  I asked him about seeing my email later.  He said, yes, he had seen it.  That was it.  Last night I asked him 'What do you think about Marley?" He began to tell me all the expenses and inconveniences we have with having a pet.  Of course it is ME wanting a dog. When he wanted Sheeba, nothing was an inconvenience.  Could he be still jealous because Sheeba became MY dog because he didn't have much to do with her?  I don't know, and anyway, it just made me sad.  I will have a dog someday.... either in this life or in heaven. 

Yesterday was a sort of lazy day.  I preached at the RV park.  Hubby insisted we go out to eat for breakfast - 'he was treating'.  So we had brunch.   Came home and we both took a an hour+ nap.  (Remember he had awakened me at 3:22AM so I was really tired).  I don't remember what I did after that - but I fixed a shake for my dinner and told him there were lots of leftovers and he could fix his own.  Then we watched NCIS for the rest of the evening and I crochet'd.  Boring, for sure.  

Today is the day of 'truth'.  We have not worked out at all the last six weeks since Morgan went on maternity leave.  Well, I have used my weights here and have done squats and very few lunges.  Hubby has basically done nothing.  So we both have ourselves to blame for not keeping our strength up.  Hubby has a 9AM appointment this morning.  Mine is at 5PM tonight.  I am 'confident' we both will be pretty sore this week with getting back into the 'groove of working out. Lord, HELP!  But, keeping our strength up is important.  Morgan will tell me tonight how hubby is doing as far as working out; she always does. She tells me when he loses his balance, when he can't do the simple exercises, etc.  Of course she may tell him the same thing about me!  I enjoy working out and want to continue.... but time will tell.

Psalm 91:1 (NIV) Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I am thinking about this verse this morning.  When we seek after Jesus and are obedient to Him, no matter what comes at us, we can rest in His promises that He will take care of us.  Like an eagle spreading its wings to cover it's young, our God will spread His love over us to keep us in His care.  I like the thought of that.  Lord knows I need His protection, His love.  

I honestly don't know that I would be where I am now if I had not turned to Jesus many years ago and surrendered myself to Him.  How I wish I had turned to Him sooner, and learned of Him and trusted Him more sooner!  And I pray that over my children and grandchildren.  Especially two grandchildren that have totally turned their backs on Jesus because they didn't get what they wanted when they wanted it.  They don't get it.  Sometimes God's answer is 'wait'.  Yes, sometimes it is 'no', and sometimes it is 'yes'.  But God sees the big picture of our lives and not just what is in front of us.

We must die to self and allow God to do His work in us and bring us back to life.  To be honest, my daily life is hard.  Even with my time in here each morning and asking that I receive His help during the day, it is hard.  When I come alive is when I'm teaching or preaching or talking about Jesus.  He is the most important One to me.  Who is Jesus to you?  How I wish you would surrender to Him and trust Him in all that you do!

And with that - it's 7AM and it's time for work - time always gets away from me it seems.  Have an amazing day, and spend some time talking to Jesus.  You will find that time is never wasted.

Blessings!

It's been a trying week...

 Not that it has been a bad week, but just a week that has been taking my attention in different directions. Work has been busy and I have been focused on that.  And it is only Wednesday.

Hubby hasn't been feeling well the past week, complaining frequently of pain in his back at the waistline.  We've even put Voltaren on it.  He hasn't slept well in several night because of the pain, which has caused him to be up and down throughout the night. And, of course, most times waking me up as he does.  I 'finally' suggested to him on Monday to call the doctor.  Dr. Mark told him to come to the office and he would work him in. (See why I wanted to change to Dr. Mark?)  He got him in - and after poking and prodding his back and belling, Dr. Mark has tentatively determined hubby has a blockage in his intestines.  Told him what to pick up at the drug store on the way home and when to take it.  It has helped with the pain somewhat, but the pain is still there, although the magnesium citrate has done some of what it was taken for.  (I couldn't resist; had to tell hubby I KNEW he was full of it!)  But the pain persists, just not as intense.  Hubby is very weak this week and is having difficulty (more so than usual) in walking.  Even getting out of the recliner has become difficult.  Dr. Mark had blood drawn and urine tested; we expect to hear from him probably sometime today as to the results.  Dr. Mark calls him at home in the evening hours for test results or concerns.   

I get a text from my oldest son yesterday that he is in the ER and why, and later the text notifying his brother and sister about being admitted overnight.  Yes, I wanted to go see him and make sure he is ok in MY mind, but he told me no.  There is nothing I can do. I am not a medical person; I just work for a medical company.  My DIL is much more knowledgeable than I am and she was right there and I am sure in control of the situation.  I hope to hear from one of them this morning when he gets discharged. I have been praying many things for this son, but for now, that the doctors can identify what the cause of the 'problem' is, and what my son needs to do for it not to happen again.  And I pray his siblings will grasp the seriousness of this hospital visit.

A friend's son has been diagnosed with epileptic seizures and I have been praying this last month for him as well.  He was taken to Mayo and they have discovered a tumor in his brain.  Small, almost undetected, but found.  I think surgery is scheduled on the 22nd.  In the meantime, I continue to pray that the seizures will stay away.  God answered prayers that part or all of the cause would be found - the tumor was found that the other doctors could not find.  My friend sent me a photo of she and her son yesterday, and he was smiling for the first time in a long time.  God is good.

And I have also been praying for Morgan's dad.  I think I mentioned about him before so won't go into it. He is doing well, moved to a regular room, and now they have discovered a blood clot in his arm.  Praying it will dissolve and none others will appear.  A perfectly healthy man going to have a stent put in his heart and the doctor screwed it up and now Morgan's dad is dealing with the consequences from that.  What has been frustrating for them is that the doctor was nonchalant about what he messed up on (punctured the wall of the vessel instead of sliding the stent through, causing the heart to fill with blood) and considered it an everyday oops.  This hospital is the one near us and I haven't heard any good reports come from there; suggested they get him moved to another hospital.  I don't think they did, but it's not my call.

So I have had four prayer concerns that are helping me spend constant prayer for one of these at all times. And that isn't a bad thing.  I love seeing how God answers prayers. I know it isn't just my prayers; I'm sure of others that are praying for my son.  I don't know if hubby has told any of his men friends about his issues. He skipped meeting last night and I did hear him tell his friend about some of the issue.  I know Erik, my friend's son, and Mark, Morgan's dad, are also getting other prayers.  But I continue to pray for all of them.

I wish I had more time to spend in prayer.  I can't take off this week or next to spend a day focused on prayer for I am covering people at the office.  This week a co-worker is flying to Michigan for her dad's funeral.  Next week is a vacation for a friend.  I think I'm going to be kept busy.  And that is a good thing - as long as hubby's issues resolve and I don't have to take him to the hospital myself.  I think Dr. Mark has a good grip on what is going on and we are just waiting to hear back from him.

I did what I do best when stressed.  Besides eat, that is.  I baked last night.  I found a recipe for peach muffins and made a batch of those.  Hubby and I split one and I put the rest in the freezer.  I made a large loaf of strawberry bread.  I just had to do it.  While it was still warm, I cut the end off.  I love the end of the loaf of bread!  The heel.  I love it.  It has all the flavor wrapped in it.  So I cut off the heel of the strawberry bread and ate it before heading to bed last night. Yes, I beat myself up because I ate it, but I don't regret it - it was good!  Now what am I going to do with the rest of this loaf?  I guess I'll slice some off and put the rest in the freezer - we won't eat this loaf (it's a big one) before the week end - and with it having strawberries in it, don't want to let them spoil. I don't know how long I need to watch for that.  But it is sure good.

Isaiah 46:4 (NKJV):  Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.

I read this scripture and feel it is timely - me with my gray hair, my hubby and children with theirs - I do not need to worry about them - because in their old age, I can trust that God will carry them through any thing they go through, and He will deliver them.  He will be with them, because I have asked Him to.  He will hear my cries for them, and He will answer. His answers may not always be what I want them to be, but my trust is in Him.  And in Him alone.  I don't believe the doctors can do anything without God directing them, so I pray for the doctors that they will make wise choices, that symptoms will show themselves and they will recognize what the root cause is of those symptoms.  I believe that God can and does direct the doctors thinking process, and will help them find the right diagnosis and cure for whatever ails anyone.  All glory and praise to God!  He does answer prayers.

And whether He answers 'MY' prayers, or answers the prayers of those who love you, know that you are prayed over and given to the only One who can rescue you and save you and set you free from all infirmities.  Holy is His name.

Who are you praying for today?  Why not take a minute and whisper a word of thanks to the One who can deliver us.  And keep praying, for you don't know what anyone is going through.

Blessings!

It finally arrived

 What did?  Friday.  It's been a 'different' sort of week with hubby's doctor appointments and the type of work I've been doing this week.  Nope, haven't finished the minutes yet either.  Oops.  It is on the agenda to complete.  Male boss on PTO next week and he is blocked out at noon today so perhaps I can get things done.  Maybe.  If I want to.  

I had a nice quiet evening last night.  Got 30 minutes on the rebounder, watched two movies, crochet'd and even read a little - all while hubby was gone to his bible study with his friend.  They moved from Tuesday to Thursday, remember?  At least for now.  It was nice to have the evening to myself with nothing on the agenda to complete.  And I ate like a pig.  It was one of those times when I had no one watching me.  Not that I really ate 'bad'.... well, ok, maybe a little.  I found a container of my frozen strawberry dessert and I ate it. I ate cheese. I ate sesame sticks. I ate a small bag of stale doritos.  'it is what it is' - right?  I guess my stress level was up a bit - and I was alone where no one could tell me what to do. :-D

It's going to be another hot day - I need to get dressed and go water my plants before it gets too hot.  I wonder if they will 'survive' over the 4th while we are gone. Granted, it is only Thursday - Sunday - but still, it gets pretty hot out.  At least some have the 'sprinkler' on them - such as it is. I think it is worthless, but that's my opinion.

LOL  A couple of men out walking their very small dogs have stopped to chat and let their dogs get acquainted this morning. Cute.

Dr. Mark called hubby the other night to check on him; I think I forgot to share that.  He told him to cut back on coffee (caffeine) so hubby only had one glass of Dr. Pepper last night and plans to have one cup of coffee this morning. LOL  Trying to get him in the habit of taking his BP morning and evening and putting on the log.  If it stays in the 'normal' range (it hasn't gotten back to where it used to be - 110/70 - yet but it is coming down), he can do whatever he wants with the log.  Just trying to help him.  

Running late again this morning, as I usually seem to do on Friday mornings, especially.  But, I'm moving along. The work computer is already up and I'll glance at any messages shortly.  It should be a quiet day.  After all, it's Friday and who wants to work, right?

I was reading in Ezra this morning and wish I had more time to finish the book.  I think I got to chapter 7 before I had to put it down.  In Ezra the Bible talks about the Jews being allowed to go back to Jerusalem and rebuild the temple.  It never got to be as great and beautiful as when Solomon built it, but they were working on it.  Oh they had people trying to stop them!  In one chapter the work did stop; under Darius, I believe it was.  But now they wrote to Cyrus and he did his research and told them to continue working on the temple, and not only that, but the tariffs charged were to go to the Jews to pay for the work!  And now we have the Israel-Iran war going on.  Israel and Hamas.  We are in the last days, people.

Will you be taken up when the trumpet sounds and Jesus returns?  Or will you be left for the tribulation that will follow?  Will you die before then and after judgement go to heaven or hell?  Are you even concerned about where you are going eventually - there is no getting out of it - and are you ready for your future and what you are leaving as a legacy to those you leave behind?  

I read a story recently of a church staff meeting which went a little long and the youth pastor fell asleep during the meeting.  It must have happened before, as everyone else laid some clothing on their chairs and left the room - and then someone sounded a trumpet in another room.  Now, that would definitely be a 'wake-up call', wouldn't it?  Not the trumpet sound, silly, the fact that everyone could leave this earth when the trumpet sounds - and you will be left.  That is a scary thought.

I think I have written about that from a message I heard a year or two ago.  I think the question was - if you hear the trumpet sound and everyone around you disappears and you are left alone - who are you going to call to see if they are still here as well?  As much as each of us love our spouses or our children, (let alone the grandchildren and great-grandchildren) would we want them to be 'left behind'?  I don't.  I would much rather each one be taken up to be with Jesus - and that is the reason I pray for each one.  I dedicated each of my children to the Lord when they were born.  Even when I didn't understand what it meant.  And I, although their parents did not, took time in my own quiet time to dedicate each child and grandchild and great-grandchild to the Lord.  I'm not around any of them much anymore so do not have an influence on them.  I know one granddaughter makes a point to tell me how I have been an influence in her life growing up, and that warms my heart.  I'm so glad she is involved in church and has a husband who loves Jesus too, and they are teaching their children to love Jesus.

So many of my children rebelled.  I have failed in that respect; they got the 'head knowledge', but they didn't get the 'heart knowledge' - although I think they did at one time.  The world pulled them away. I can only pray and trust God to draw them back to Him.  My heart breaks for each one that has turned away... and I will continue to pray.  It isn't up to me to make it happen.  My job is to pray.

And that is your job as well.  Are you praying for each of your children? Or do you shrug off their issues and problems and think 'it's not my problem'.  Oh that you would want to see Jesus in each one!  Pray for your children and grandchildren!  Pray not only for their protection, but that they will grow in the wisdom and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  And in doing so, maybe hard hearts will be changed.

Something to think about, perhaps.  You have time now; take a moment and right yourself with God, and then pray over your children and grandchildren.  They are only here on loan to you.  Are you a good steward?

Blessings!

A May Day Baby!

 It's May 1st - where is the time going!  But I do want to share some great news I just received on my phone from my boss!  Her daughter delivered her 3rd child at 3:40AM this morning - her name is Daisy.  She is beautiful - as is her mother and grandmother!  My boss sent me a photo of herself holding little Daisy.  And now, my workload just increased - I have to clear her calendar this morning first thing as she is taking the day off.  Obviously she has been at the hospital for awhile and will need to rest. I'm so excited for her.  As I have known my boss for years, I know her children as they grew up, and I officiated the wedding of all three of them.  Yeah, we're that close.  I love my boss and her husband and their family.  And now all my thoughts are offtrack about what I was thinking about writing!  Such exciting news - a new baby!

Oh yeah - I had another odd dream last night - and I can't remember the dream but of one thing.  You are really going to think it weird as well, I'm sure.  Me, who never travels........  I was in Prague, and the city was besieged with gnats.  The gnats were everywhere and on everything.  And I woke up.  I don't recall any other thing but that one.  What is it with these weird dreams I've having?  I need to get all these stupid and weird dreams down on paper and pray about them.  Maybe God is trying to tell me, or show me something?  Or am I just having weird dreams?

And what is really odd as well, this week I have not felt my alarm on my watch go off at 4AM, but am sleeping through until 5AM.  Granted, I need the extra hour of sleep, but my alarm goes off every 10 minutes until I respond to it - am I shutting it off without knowing it?  I did waken at 3:45AM yesterday and got up and came in here - only to fall asleep in my chair until 5AM.  Hubby isn't waking up until 5AM as well.  Sleep off, (I have gone to bed about an hour later this week; could it just be I'm getting my hours in? - but still, the alarm....) Alarm not being felt.  Weird.  Now mind you, what woke me this morning WAS my watch buzzing, but it was telling me I had only 10% battery life left.  I'm not real fond of my Apple watch for that reason - it has to be charged every single morning.  But, it is what it is.

Got to see my grandson's last school concert last night and it was really good and I am so glad I went. Enjoyed the time with my oldest son and his wife as we watched.  This was the last of the band concerts for this family, unless the great granddaughter takes it up - but then, she is in another city.  That could be a thought for a road trip - once I retire of course. Something to dream about.

I have several emails for work for which I need to work on right away, plus clear my favorite boss' calendar for today.  I think it will be another busy day.  I haven't gotten any requests from my co-workers' doctors so I'm hoping they are doing things on their own and not waiting to give me several things at once. I know I will be overwhelmed if they do.  I need to take some time off this month too - next Monday I have my eye specialist appointment in the morning and it's a 45 minute drive to that specific office for the testings.  Then May 20th, I found out last night my grandson is graduating so I will be taking off work for the afternoon.... if tickets are available for us to go. I have a life too and if work gives me flack - I'll get even - I'll retire.  Like that will happen.  LOL Naw, they won't give me any flack.  I push on them to put family before work - (hence my boss taking the day off to help with her daughter and my other boss going camping Thursday and Friday last week).  My family comes before my job - I can always find a job; I'm not afraid of work.  Yes, at my age it may take longer, but I can flip burgers. LOL  It just won't pay as well. 

Hebrews 11:6 (NKJV):  But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

How can one pray to God and not have faith in Him and believe that He can do anything and everything? Faith has always been one of my strong gifts.  Even if I don't know if God will answer my prayers (and He doesn't always answer them the way I want Him too!) I know that He CAN.  I have prayed over people and things and nothing happened, but it didn't decrease my faith in what God can do.  There have also been many times that I have prayed over people and things, and God DID answer.  Several years ago I had an anointing service after a message I had just given about God and healing.  I had hubby come up and we stood at the front of the podium and asked if anyone needed healing, to come forward and we'd anoint them and pray.  That was, I think, our first service there.  People were saying 'this has never been done before here'.....  and one man, whose name at that time I didn't know, but I have come to love dearly, the following year he told me when I had prayed for him, not knowing what was going on within him, that he had kidney disease, and when he went back to his home state and to his doctor, his kidney was healed.  He knows that God healed him, but he credits me with being the instrument God used to heal his body.  All glory to God.  Trust me, I didn't do anything. All I did was pray. God does the healing; I just believe that He will.

And yet, as you know, there are times I have had faith that God would heal someone, and I pray diligently for them, and the disease doesn't leave them.  The 'bad habit' doesn't go away.  Relationships are not restored. Jobs are not found. Finances aren't improved.  It doesn't mean that I didn't pray enough or that I didn't have faith enough that it would happen.  It has nothing to do with my faith.  My job is to bring these requests to our Heavenly Father.  It is His decision, His responsibility to answer them. And, since He can see the bigger picture, He knows what is needed.  Many times the answer may just be delayed.  Other times, it is because I ask amiss.  

What do I mean I ask amiss?  I ask what I want.  I ask what that individual wants.  Maybe it is for financial help.  But they keep spending recklessly.  Maybe I've prayed for healing of a disease in their body.  But it's been 10 years and God still hasn't healed them - why?  I don't know.  But I do know that sometimes the healing doesn't come because they haven't forgiven; they haven't turned to God and He is giving them chance after chance to turn to Him; perhaps it is not happening for their spouse; maybe God is wanting them to learn to love Him more and to comfort the hurting person.  Oh there are many ways that I can ask amiss; I ask what I want to see - I want love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.  But the greatest healing one can receive is to be with Jesus at the end of our time.

When God sees me praying 'amiss', He will often just tell me to stop praying that one thing.  I may still pray as it comes to mind, but God has the final say in all of it.  I am not a healer.  Jesus is.  Even when I pray for older people to live, I'm asked 'why'?  They are old, it's their time.  It is better to pray that they know Jesus and have surrendered their life to Him - regardless of whether He gives them more time on earth or not.  Many are ready to be with Jesus and want to be released from this world.  And, can we blame them?  I know I want to be here and watch my great-grandchildren grow up.... but it is in His timing.  I have asked Him many times to let me live to 100 - but only if I am healthy and of sane mind. If I'm going to be sick or have mind issues, then please take me early. I do not want to be a burden on my children.  I want my life to be a reflection of Jesus.  And yes, I screw up a lot. I've done a lot of things.  And whether people forgive me or not is not my problem.  That is theirs.  I forgive them, and I know God honors that.

So how is your praying going lately?  You know, it's ok to just whisper a prayer when something comes to mind.  I do it all the time.  I had a note from a granddaughter recently that she wrote she has learned to just say 'Thank You, Lord' when a break in traffic comes and she can move in.  

Be grateful for the little things; they are answers to prayers that someone has prayed for you.  Have food to eat?  Have money to pay your bills?  Have a vehicle that runs? Have decent health that you can still get around?  Sometimes it is the choices we make that mess life up.  Maybe we need to think about our choices more.

And thank God that He is the One protecting us when we do stupid things.  Thank Him for providing for all our needs.  Just thank Him for giving you life.

Blessings!

Maybe ten minutes; that's all I got....

 Even with getting up at 3:30AM so that I have time to read my Bible, pray, and write in my journal, and type something in here, I find that because I have one eye on the clock... all thoughts of what I could write about are usually gone - or very brief, anyway.  I've got my workout at 5:30AM and I have yet to get dressed, brush my teeth and get out of here.  I need to go in 15 minutes early as he wants to do another 'inbody' thing... it measures everything in your body, which is weird... how much of my body is fat (a whole lot), how much is muscle, how much is ... whatever.. and interestingly, it tells which arm and leg is the stronger, and now that I've had one when I started, this will tell if I have gained any strength in either arm or leg.  I was thinking of texting my trainer last night and putting it off until Tuesday.... but didn't.  He ended up cancelling all his appointments yesterday (which included hubby) as he ate tacos that weren't too good the night before... and had food poisoning.  I figure if he shows up 15 minutes early as he asked me to, he remembered.  If he doesn't, then no biggie, will do it on Tuesday.  Yep, even though the 4th, the gym is open so we moved my time to 6AM and will still get my trining in.

We went to 'Refuel' last night which is our prayer group at church.  Neither of us really felt like going... but we both went and are glad we did.  We always come back blessed.  We sit there for an hour (or walk around) and pray for our families, for our church, for requests people have written out and placed on the altar.  Yeah, even I have a couple requests written there.  And I find, as I read those that are laid there, my situations and my family things aren't any different than others.

This one requests prayer for their son or daughter to be saved; that the prodigal child will come back to Jesus; or even would come back home.  For financial help.  For healing of sickness in those they love.  For restoration of relationships.  For forgiveness within their families.  For... well, think about what YOUR prayer requests would be.... and they are probably pretty much the same.  We are all people, all have the same problems or issues or 'things' ... pretty much.  

And that's why we run to God and pray.  That's why we ask for His hand to reach out and heal those we love, whether the healing is for physical or mental healing, whether the healing is for forgiveness, whether the healing is for restorations.... healing is more than just of the body.  It is restoring what the enemy takes away from us, when we give in to the devil.  He takes away and destroys us in body, in faith, in heart, in hope, in mind.  The devil doesn't want us to live; he wants us to be in misery forever. And that's what we fight against.  

God says in Joel 2:25 that 'He will restore the years the locusts have eaten' - which means He will restore what the enemy has stolen from you.  Your hope, your faith; these things God will restore as you turn to Him and let Him minister to you.  Will you let Him?

He will never force you to do anyting; but allows you to make your own decision.  It IS a matter of life and death.  What do you choose.

Blessings!

Gratefully surprised...

 Yesterday, after an amazing church service, we stopped at a deli nearby taht we like real well for lunch.  We actually ran in to some dear friends we haven't seen in a long time.  We got to sit with them and catch up as we ate our lunch.  It was a nice hour and a half (at least) to catch up on their lives and on ours.  We came home, changed clothes... and hubby did NOT turn on the TV.  Not at all.  Al.day.long.  We read.  I took a short nap (hubby probably did too, but he made fun of me for doing so).  He did ask at one point if I wanted to read or watch a movie; I opted for reading.  

Saw Ms. Diane's daughter at her house so walked over there to see how she was.  They finally - from Thursday to Saturday night Ms. Diane was in the ER... and finally got moved to a room.  Ms. Diane, although she had sounded coherent when she talked with me, her daughter says she is so confused.  She didn't fall off the couch as she told me; she fell out of her bed.   She isn't having her surgery until Tuesday as the doctor wasn't available until then.  (I wonder how they are treating the MRSA?)  The duaghter and I chatted for a bit; she was just coming out of the gate to leave when I went over.  She said her mother will probalby not be coming back home, but going direct to an assisted living.  I nearly started to cry.  Yes, that is where she needs to be... but my heart hurt becuase I know her time  here is getting short.  Her daughter said she'd keep me up to date on what is going on, which I appreciate.  And, as expected... her daughter said that she knew this time was coming and was prepared... but feels like she (herself) is 'all over the place' trying to get things done.  Today she cleaned out the refrigerator and freezer and was taking a lot of things home with her.... little by little will be removing things from the house and making decisions on where they are to go.

Hubby brought up about the cabin versus a hotel again yesterday and we discussed it.  We are just going to leave it where we will go to the cabin.  He's already paid the deposit and just needs to pay the balance.  I told him it would still be TV dinners (now he is all concerned it isn't my vacation cause I'd still have to cook - hah!) but more quick and easy things to eat, i.e., sandwiches and cereal and shakes too. :-)  Not saying we can't go to the one restaurant a time or two...  but why spend a lot of money when don't need to. It's like I've always told him - what we spend at a nice restaurant, including tip, we can eat at a fast food place two and sometimes three times!  Have you priced drinks lately at a restaurant?  Whether tea or soda - some are nearly $4!!  Ridiculous!  I usually drink water, but sometimes that diet coke just sounds good.

Today ..... two grandchildren have court cases.  My heart is breaking for both.... and all I can do is pray. I keep praying for justice; but I also keep praying for mercy and grace.  For one, I expect punishment for their actions... the other I am terrified for I do not believe the accusations are true.  There is slander and deflamation out in another person's favor; I truly believe that.  I'm terrified of what might happen to this one.  And all I can do is pray... and prayer is enough.

As I write that word 'enough' I am reminded of a couple of things.  Remember the women's conference I went to recently... the theme was 'I am enough'.   Yesterday at our church service we had a guest pastor and the message was really good.  He talked about being baptized in the Holy Spirit... how sometimes we are on the mountaintop and sometimes in the wilderness between.  Right now I feel like I am in the wilderness with the situations going on.  When he asked us to come forward if we wanted to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit, I stepped out to go forward... and of course hubby followed me.  When the pastor came through the many people up front and came to me... he at firat held my one hand and had his hand on my shoulder... then I guess he must have moved it to touch hubby (I had my eyes closed)... and he said some things but what I remember is that he said that the word that he was hearing for us was 'enough'.  He didn't know what that meant for us, but that was the Word given.

The first thing that popped in to my mind was 'He is enough'.  We had sung the song earlier 'Jireh, You are enough.'  But what does that Word mean for us?  For me?  Hubby asked me what I thought about it after we got home.  I'm still not sure exactly, but I feel I/we are to lean into Jesus is enough.  We don't need anything else.  It's so easy to lean in to other things... but Jesus, our Jehovah Jireh (The Lord will provide), is Enough.  

When I mentioned hubby 'followed' me up front of the church... I didn't mean to imply he didn't go for his own want or need.... he may have.  But he has always followed me and wanted to do whatever I did.  It is as if I may get something he doesn't.  I am reminded of the comment a friend made one time... he is glued to my hip; he won't let me get away.  If I hadn't gone up front, I am pretty sure hubby would not have either.  He always wants us 'together' and it seems like for 40+ years I have only wanted to be 'ME'.  I have fought to live ... unsuccessfully.  Yes, I can do some things without him,... but they are rare.  He is joined to my hip and I can't get away.  Heaven help him if I should die first... he could not survive.  I told him once that if he should die first (he did ask me).. I would party.  That angered him... and I asked him why.  He thought it would be a celebration... but I explained...no, it would be because for the first time I would be free to do things.

Romans 8:28 (NKJV):  "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God; to those who are called according to His purpose."

No matter what happens today... no matter what happened yesterday.... no matter what happens tomorrow... God is in control and He will take 'all things' and will work them for good.  We as people may not like nor understand the things that happen, but if we relinquish control and give it all to Him, we can know that He will take it, even the bad stuff, the ugly stuff, and will turn it in to good.  We may not understand it now; we may never understand it at all; but one thing we can be sure of.... God is well aware of everything that is happening in our lives and knows what will come of it.  He is in control.  He has the final say.  No judge does. No person does.  God has the final say.  He may let one think they are in control... but in reality, it is Him alone.

He truly is 'ENOUGH' for me.

Blessings!

And then.... almost nothing....

 Yep - that is how my day was yesterday.  Almost nothing.  No meetings to attend, only one meeting, I think, that I had to schedule.  I chatted with one of my bosses a bit on teams.  I think that was about it.  But I was available.  And I did have correspondence with a couple of the other admin/executive assistants in that we were looking for information.  These days are rare and I am definitely not complaining.  It allowed me to get a few other things done that I had been putting off.

I'm getting an 'itching' to take some days off work - and yet - I don't really have a reason to take it off.  I may take off April 28th as I do have another eye doctor appointment downtown, which isn't a big deal as I can take off work for that.  But, I on my own, without knowing anyone  specifically, signed up for another women's conference in one of the nearby churches.  AND I got another hotel room because this one says it goes to 11PM!  My daughter agreed to go with me, but I think neither of us will stay up that late!  I don't know the speakers on this one either, but am looking forward to a time of worship with other women.  I am trying to get 'out' more and become involved with other women.  I've been a recluse far too long.  Still thinking whether or not to take that day off.

My right eye has been bothering me the past day or so.  I'll see how it goes today and if it continues, will be calling the eye doctor to have him take a look at it.  I keep wondering if I did something because the first two weeks it was fine; no irritation or anything.  But now, it's like I have something in my eye and it waters and hurts.  Yeah, I may have to give him a call.  I just don't want to go downtown again.... but may have no choice.  He is only in metro area on Tuesdays, I think.  I don't think I should wait that long.  My left eye is perfectly fine.  It's really weird - in the past, I could see the print on my computer without glasses easily enough - and if I did have difficulty, I grabbed the magnifying glass to see it (hence the surgery).  Now I wear the $1 reading glasses I picked up somewhere and see it so much clearer!  I'm wearing my prescription reading glasses now, and they don't seem to be as clear as the $1 ones.  Imagine that.  When my vision settles down, wonder what it will be.  It seems that distance is much better than closer - and I've been nearsighted all my life, so it definitely is a change for me!

Powerful prayer meeting at church last night.  I debated on going, but we did.  The entire service is prayer and just sitting in God's Presence is well worth going.  It also allows the joining of prayers for our church, family members, ourselves, as well as the country and the world.  Some people who felt they have been spiritually beaten up lately went up to be anointed and prayed over.  It was a good service and actually ran over about a half hour - but that's ok.  We were in God's Presence.

I think we have decided not to attend the sunrise service this year as our pastor won't be speaking.  I know, lame excuse, but we've had a few other speakers lately and hubby wants to hear our pastor.  He will be speaking at our 10AM service so we will go then.  The thought occurred to me last night that years ago, getting a new dress for Easter was the 'thing'.  My children always got Easter baskets and a new outfit to wear to church.  That fell by the wayside as they become teenagers... except the Easter baskets.  As adults with families now, they realize how expensive that can get!  Especially when you don't want to fill the basket up with candy.  Then one by one, you stop making them... and a piece of your heart hurts for times gone by.  Depending on how involved you were with making baskets for your children - or even your spouse (yes I used to do that too) - can cause a heartache loss.

New dresses.  Ugh.  I do not care for the style women's clothes have gone to the past few years.  That is partly the reason why I don't like to go shopping.  I think I realized my 'problem' with shopping for clothes a few nights ago.  Besides the 'fluffiness' of my body.... and this is a hard realization for women - in most cases.  I do not feel old.  Even at 73, I do not consider myself old.  I'm not ready to sit and crochet the remainder of my days.  I'm not ready to give up living.   But have you noticed the women's dresses are either short/tight/lowcut/etc...... or they are matronly/chunky/highcollar/old....?  There is no in between!!  I can't wear a dress for a teenager - but I don't want to wear my grandmother's dress either!  It has given me an urge to take sewing lessons and refresh my memory!  I need to make my own clothes.  I've never been a flashy dresser. 

Ok, so I did wear hot pants way back when.  Yes, I had the 'go-go- black boots to go with it.  I also had the body to look good in it.  Those are things of the past.  I'm more reserved now; more conscious of how low my top comes; the length of my dress/skirt.  But I feel I can still dress nice - when I can find the right outfit.  I have found that Penney's has the best dresses for my style... and as I work on my belly fat, I can wear what I have on hand that I have purchased from there years ago.  I love to wear suits - but the one or two I have left are toooo tight.  Yeah, that big butt of mine keeps getting in the way of that too.  That's another whole ballgame.

Wow - from Easter baskets to making my own clothes... that's a big drop!  Bored yet?  I think this is one of my 'rambling' days.  

Skimmed through one of my 'new' cookbooks yesterday and found a couple more recipes that I want to try.  Went online and ordered groceries for pick up.  I haven't gotten groceries for about 3 weeks so had several things to pick up besides the other things for the recipes.  Can you believe that Frys said they were out of green bell peppers?  Since it is just listed as 'bell peppers', I am wondering if the clerk just didn't know what they were!  I made an irritated comment as I was told they were out of bell peppers - "I guess I'll have to go to Safeway".  Snarky, huh.  But I need my bell peppers for the recipes!  And I can't make salsa without the bell peppers either!  I may take a break and do a run over to Safeway today.  I did get fried chicken and a rotisserie chicken too - we had the fried chicken last night with mashed potatoes and broccoli.  My comfort food.  And it tasted so good.  I'll tear the meat off the rotisserie chicken today to put in other dishes.  Maybe we will have stir fry tonight.  

It's only 6:18AM and I hear the landscapers out already working on the trees and lawn.  They are supposed to trim our tree in the back, plus 'manicure' the tree in the front of our house today.  So ready for it - they did one side the other week and didn't touch the other side!  Looks crappy and I've let hubby know (as president of the HOA) that I was not happy with it.  He got angry with my comments but I told him that just because he is the president doesn't mean he can let things go for us!  What is the saying about a cobbler's family are the last ones to get shoes?  I've actually nagged about the trees in front and back of our house.... I don't like the trees, period.  They shed way too many little tiny leaves all over the place.  As far as I'm concerned, cut them down!  But 'we' don't own them, the HOA does (whoopee) so I tell hubby I CAN nag at him to get them done right!  He told me last night they will be getting them done.  See - what if I hadn't nagged at him?

Matthews 11:28-30 (NKJV):   "Come to me, all of you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

Feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?  Take a deep breath, and just rest for a few minutes.  Sit still; close your eyes; breathe deeply.  Let all the tension leave your shoulders, your body; all your cares release from your mind.  Take this deep moment of rest.  That's what giving all your troubles, fears, issues, to Jesus feels like.  Complete peace.  

You can't always change circumstances, but God can.  Struggling with emotions or fear?  Give them to Jesus.  Overwhelmed with bills or with life?  Give them to Jesus.  

Whatever is troubling your heart or mind, take a moment and hold out your hands and say "Jesus, I give this to you.  Please take over.  I'm tired of not sleeping.  I'm tired of struggling.  I'm tired of worrying.  I give it all to You.  Thank You for the peace that passeth all understanding.  Help me to trust You, to believe in You when I doubt You.  Help me to see Your hand upon my life, because I know that someone is also praying for me.  I struggle, Lord, to believe in You.  Help my unbelief.  In Your name I pray, amen."

Blessings!

Another interesting, strange, dream...

 I'm not sure where these dreams are coming from, and don't think they have any meaning, but they sure are interesting.  Last night one of my dear friends (who has been married over 35 years) was getting married, but had nothing to wear to her wedding, which was getting ready to happen.  I gave her the lavender dress I had worn at my granddaughter's wedding a year ago; it is long, lacy, and pretty... and it fit her perfectly.  I don't remember specifics of the dream, but we were rushing around trying to get everything pulled together.  It seemed like I was officiating the wedding, but was also being a 'wedding planner' of sorts.... I don't know, but, well, that was pretty much the dream.  Nothing else happened in it, that I can recall, but it is just really an odd dream.  

Of course the thought has occurred to me this morning, as I have thought about it, does the dream have any meaning for this specific friend?  Is she getting ready to become the bride of Christ and He was letting me know?  I am selfish enough and love my friend enough to pray "No, please, Lord!" but His timing is not our timing.  It was an interesting dream.

I know that God does answer our prayers.... and in interesting ways, sometimes.  My sister's hubby came to her and apologized for his comments about the church she wanted to go to - and said that they can go there again this Sunday.  I think this is what the 'gaslighting' I read is all about.  He keeps her in an emotional upheaval that she doesn't know what to feel or to even believe.  

Did I tell you that I finally got the Christmas bedspreads off the beds?  I have one I want to get rid of if I can find someone who would want it.  I love to put Christmas things throughout the house... hubby isn't so much in favor of it... but some day I will have a 'Christmas house' the way I want it.  Baby steps.  The Christmas bedspread I want to let go of is a red and green plaid.  It even has sheets and pillow cases to go with it.  I am thinking my youngest son may take it, but who knows. I haven't said anything to him and now that Christmas is over, it can wait.  I did buy already a new Christmas comforter that I think I will like better - it has holly leaves on it. :-)

This cold front isn't doing much for my flowers.  No, I haven't covered them, hoping it won't affect them too bad.  And if they do, I'll replace them.  Once this cold front is gone, I need to go back and trim down my roses to about 12".  A friend used to raise a lot of roses and he always told me to wait until the cold front was gone, then cut back to 12" or 24" and to be sure and put Elmer's glue over the cut.  Why?  Because it keeps the bugs out while the rose bush is dormant and getting ready to burst out in flowers again.  I used to do it at our house and they would grow from 24" to above the roof over the summer.  We'd still have to trim them back again.  Trimming them causes them to spread out versus just grow up. Glad I hadn't done it yet.  Maybe after this week the weather will not drop down so low.  My gauge on my computer says it is 33 degrees here where I am.  Brrrr.   I started to open the shutters in here yesterday and ask I did, I felt the cold air radiating from the windows - uh, no.  I shut the shutters back up - not going to encourage cold air in here - I don't do well with cold anyway!  LOL  I even got a small electric space heater for Christmas because this is either the coldest room in the house - or it can be the hottest.  No, I haven't used it yet, but I did entertain that thought yesterday.

One thing I am doing is filling up the humidifiers and letting them add water to the air in the bedrooms.  My hair is flying all over the place with the dryness of the air from the heat.  The humidifiers add water to the air - and it also keeps my nose from drying out.  Ever have that problem?  When you wake up your nose is so dry and it is really hard to 'blow'?  The heat in the wintertime dries out the air and as we breathe in that dry air, it dries our nose out.  If you have a humidifier to where it blows some water in to the air, it helps with the breathing.  Especially if one has a cold, a humidifier really helps keep the air moist and more comfortable.

Have you ever paused to wonder where you will go when you die?  There are some people who will say 'Heaven, for sure'... or 'Hell, cause I don't want to change'.... or 'I have no clue and I don't care'.  What do you say?  

Yes, I'm wanting to go to Heaven, for sure, and it isn't hard to think that is where I will end up.  Sometimes life seems so hard and I seem to fall so often in my own wants and decisions..... I want to do things MY way (imagine that!) as God did give us free will and free choice.  I seem to do a lot of confessing some days to God, and asking forgiveness. There are some people who we WANT to believe are in Heaven... but are they?  Perhaps what we see of their lives tells us they will go to Heaven... or some area causes us to think they won't make it... but one thing for sure, we are not to judge them.  I am to be responsible for myself.  Not my hubby.  Not my children.  Nor my grandchildren.

Yes, I want all my children and grandchildren (and greats) to go to Heaven where they will be with Jesus.... but it is their choice.  My part in all of this desire is to pray for them.  Pray for their salvation. Pray for what troubles them. Pray that they will choose wisely the path they take.  Pray they will say Yes to Jesus.  Oh the joys that could abound for them if they said Yes!  They may think life is good right now - but what if troubles come? There is no other than they can lean on but Jesus to get them through the hard times.  I know this for a fact.  We've gone through a lot of hardships.  My family wasn't there for me.  It was God and us.  He got us through it.

Which reminds me... I got a very odd text on my phone last night.  It gave my heart a twinge, and my thoughts went to the past.... here is the text....

"Hey I'll have Jackie on the other line to 3 way in a few minutes."

I just sat there for a few minutes before I finally sent a text and asked 'who is this?'  They didn't respond back.  It was an out of state number so I am pretty sure they sent the message to my phone in error.  Isn't that odd, though?  My deceased sister's name is Jackie, or rather, we called her that.  Her name was actually Jacqueline.  So it gave me pause and I thought about her and realized again how much I miss her and wished she was still here for me to call.  We know she didn't commit suicide; we know her son murdered her... we just can't prove it without him admitting it... and he is so psycho that he doesn't realize what he has done.  So the detective keeps the case open until he does confess.  It hurts that she is gone.  When my little brother told the son what the family thinks happened... he just says 'they can shove that thought up their axx'.... 

Ah... my thoughts are going elsewhere this morning so I will hush.  I pray that you have a blessed day; that you will feel the presence of the Lord surround you; that you will quiet your heart to hear His voice.

Blessings!

It was a good morning...

 After hubby left for his Bible study yesterday, I did manage to take a break from work and clean off the top of the refrigerator and freezer and got it straightened up.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it was, which is a good thing.  I also, throughout the day, was able to get things done in here.  The bed cleaned off and the Christmas bedspread folded and put away, the regular bedspread put on, empty boxes taken to the garage, things picked up.  I still have things to do, but it looks better than it did.  It doesn't feel as cluttered. Imagine that!  Not to say it still isn't cluttered some, just not as bad.

I'm beginning to think I have a touch of adult ADHD.  As I sit here and think about what to write about, I am reminded of all the things I have started and haven't yet completed.  I'm doing pretty good book-wise.  I do have a few books I'm working through, but once I get started on one when I have a chance to read, I do try to finish it.  In fact, going through my list in Goodreads the other day, I found several I had finished that I showed as starting before.  I marked them off as finished - but not necessarily this year - and unfortunately it did add to my total for this year.  When I saw it had raised it to 6 and it should be only 2 or 3 actually read this year, I stopped marking them.  My problem is I have so many books I DO want to read but my time fills up with other things and I don't have the time to read.  Luckily I am a fairly fast reader, and if it is really interesting, I'm focused.  If it isn't that interesting, it is easier to put it aside for 'another time'.... which may or may not come.

I had a box of books arrive from Christian Book Distributors yesterday and of course hubby had to stand there and watch me open it.... questioning what I purchased.  When he commented on the number of books that I bought... probably about 8-10 that I wanted to read that sounded good.... I could see he was totally up the $$ signs.  THEN I told him that each book was less than $5.... some only $1.49 that would have been just less than $20 had I purchased it otherwise.  CBD was having a big sale - I think I spent about $20 for all the books.  Not going to turn down sales like that.  Some of them I may not get to for awhile, but what I read of them, they sounded like something I'd like to read.  

Maybe if I ever get to retire I can set a REAL goal and see how many books I can read each WEEK.  I remember growing up and having Grace Livingston Hills books - not the paperback little ones, but the hardback books.  I think my mother had nearly all at that time.  I could read one a day.  Of course they are cute romance stories of that era and I loved each and every one.  I read a lot of Phyllis Whitney too... she had another name as well, I know my son knows it, but I'm drawing a blank now.  I've always loved to read and it has always been my escape from 'real life'.  More so in my youth than now.  Now I read to learn and to relax.  Back then it was to escape.  Ah- I think that name was Victoria Holt!

Now my knitting and crochet... well, I do have several different ones going on.  It is what it is.  And little by little I complete them and tell myself I am not going to start another one until I finish all I have.  Well, that hasn't happened. I find another two or three that I started that I hadn't finished.  I think I have 3 in this room alone!  And I enjoy every bit of it.

I Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV):  "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

Have you ever found yourself tempted to do something that you knew you shouldn't do, and yet, the desire was there to do it anyway?  How did you handle it?  

I know there are many times (more than I really care to admit!) that I am tempted to say things that I shouldn't.... and do (why should I let them have the last word?).  Or I'm tempted to do, when I know I shouldn't (we can all fill in this one, can't we?!).  How may times have you gone ahead and done those things - and then felt guilty for doing it?

Hello?  Is it just me?  Sometimes when people get snarky with me, I want to respond back just as snarky.  But that isn't what I'm supposed to do.  It isn't just in the words, it is in the tone of voice.  Trust me, hubby is on me all the time that I say something to him that he doesn't like!  And the funny part is - he is wrong!  I'm not being sarcastic or snarky!  It's just he is over-sensitive when HE is wrong and wants me to be wrong.  Do you have those people in your life?  I think we all do. And they aren't just family members.  And they are just friends.

Colossians 3:12-14 (NKJV):  Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection."

We are to keep our eyes on Jesus, who is the author and perfecter of our life. We are to live holy and blameless.  It isn't easy, is it?  People irritate us, annoy us.  We want what we want. Someone offends us - or someone close to us - and we want to 'fight' for them (or us) and we push them aside.  I know I have to deal with one.  I'm not sure what to do and I'm praying about that one.  

I belong to Jesus, therefore I am to love everyone. Regardless of what they have done.  Hate the sin, love the sinner, right?  Sometimes it is really hard, especially when they are not repentant or remorseful of what they did.  You have those people in your life too, I'm sure.  It wasn't done to me, so it should be easy, right?  It isn't.  Don't mess with my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren.  You don't want this mama bear coming out.  (see what I mean?)

But by the grace of God, He directs my path and He will take control of all situations.  He's already got it, in fact.  I can't change anything.... but He can.  That's why it is easier to put it in His hands, and step back and take my hands off.

So glad I can do that.  And you can too.  At some point in your life you were dedicated to the Lord.  You can't get away from that.  It may not have been a 'baby dedication' type service, but a mother's and father's heart is always giving their babies to the Lord for His leading, His protection.  And the prayers continue as they grow up.  We still pray for His leading, His guidance, His direction in their lives.   A parent never stops loving their child - no matter what - and in loving them, we ask God to watch over them.  

My children may not (think they do) walk with the Lord... but He knows them because I bring each one before Him, just as I do my grandchildren and great grandchildren. Some day, my prayers for them will be answered.  I have faith.

Pray for your children, your grandchildren, the generations that are yet to come.  God isn't just God of now... He is our God of the past, and of the future.  Begin now to pray for that perfect spouse for your child.  Pray for success in all they do. Pray for their protection.  Pray they find Jesus and live for Him.  That is the best prayer, the best 'gift' you can give your child.  Pray for them.

Take a moment.  Now.  Offer up a quick 'Watch over ............... today, Lord.  Guide them in all their decisions.  Help them as they make choices, that they are the right ones.  Keep them under Your wings. Thank you, Jesus.".  

Blessings!

Finished Revelations...

 I finished my study on Revelations this morning and I am more than confident that following Jesus and living for Him is the only way to live.  I want to be ready when Jesus returns to call us Home.  Oh that I will quit letting the worries of this world distract me from the Glory of the Lord!  

Distractions.  We all have them.  We all are them.  Distractions come in many forms - children, the things they do; spouses, the things they do; us, the things we do; and the list goes on and on.  Life distractus us at times from the One who is the most important.  When do we think about Jesus?  When we are distracted and in trouble.  When do we think we might need to ask Him for His help?  When we are distracted and in trouble.  But you know what?  Jesus is always there, ready and waiting, for us to turn to Him and seek His face.  Sometimes we have to deal with the consequences of our decisions, and sometimes we don't understand why certain circumstances are 'allowed' to befall us.  But it is through these trials and through these temptations and through all these troubles, that we can see God's hand upon our lives.  Sit back and think about your life.

What have been the steps that have brought you to where you are now?  Do you see trials and struggles throughout your life?  What has that taught you?  Does it not show you that you can get through these things when you set your mind to it?  You don't have to wallow in your trial, your frustration, your struggle.  There is One who is waiting for you to look up and grab His hand and He will walk you through it, no matter what it is.

Disagreement with your spouse?  Oh trust me on this one!  If I did not have Jesus to lean into, to cry out to, to grab hold of His hand, I shutter to think where I would be right now.  Times of depression and discouragement can quickly overcome you; but when you have Jesus, you can grab hold of Him and He will walk you through any trial, any struggle.  

Sleeping good last night I was awakened this morning to thinking about my Schwan's delivery man, Troy.  I have no idea why I was thinking of him as he only delivers on Wednesdays and this is only Tuesday.  I know I want to get a catalog for my neighbor for she really liked their mashed potatoes and mahi mahi and green beans I left for them when they returned from Hawaii so that they wouldn't have to go to the store right away.  Anyway, when God brings people to my mind, I know that I am to pray for them, so I did pray for Troy.  I like Troy; he is personable and friendly.  I will have to ask him tomorrow if everything is well with him, and with his truck.  I read recently Schwans is changing their name to 'Yelloh'.  Yeah - sounds (I want to say stupid) unusual, right?  I guess because their trucks are 'yellow'.  But my mind keeps asking the question of 'Why?'.  

Who has come to your mind recently, especially in the wee hours of the morning and you just feel the urge you need to check on them?  That you need to ask God to watch over them,, to protect them, no matter what they are going through, and you may not even know!  Or will ever know!  I've learned over the years that sometimes not knowing is fine. But God doesn't always awaken me or stir me to think about people who are in trouble.  I often wonder about that, but I know that someone, somewhere, has been impressed to pray.  And sometimes I feel impressed to pray about things I know nothing about.  Or pray about something..... and it doesn't happen.  I love those times because I feel that God has caused the enemy's plans to fail.

And sometimes God allows difficulties and times of struggle and trouble... it is in those times that He is waiting for you to turn to Him and seek His face for your life.  We tend to wallow in our lives at times because they are not what we want them to be.  But paradise will be in Heaven.  Life here on earth is hard sometimes.  We have our times of joy, for sure, but people will not always be nice to us.  People will not always agree with us.  People the closest to us will absolutely drive us crazy at times.  And how we react is a reflection of who we are.  And sometimes I know I have a lot of work to do in me.  I need to relinquish control of what I want and seek Jesus for what He wants in me.

Did you know that there is no greater than Jesus?  He is our Refuge and our Strength.  He is our Healer and our Source of all things.  Jesus is truly all we need for He will provide all that we need.  He works in us as well as through us, and we are to be alert to His drawing us to help others.  We often say that 'things don't happen without a reason'.  And maybe they don't.  But do we seek the reason?  Not usually.

People hurt people.  What do we learn from it?  Sometimes it is just that they need love and aren't feeling loved, so they strike out at others.  With words, with actions.  I've been on the receiving end, and I probably have been on the giving end too.  I really don't like being on the end that has to go back and apologize.  But it is something one must do.  Right the wrong.  Sometimes forgiveness is given freely, as it should be.  Jesus freely gives us His forgiveness all the time.  But sometimes we need to ask for it so that we can forgive ourselves.  That is the hard part, forgiving ourselves.

My thoughts are all over the place this morning, aren't they?!   One thing is true, one thing is sure.

I John 1:9 (NIV) "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

John 3:16 (NIV) "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

The time is getting shorter until Jesus returns.  We are in the end times.  Are you ready to stand before the great white throne of God and hear your judgement?  

Come, Lord Jesus, come!