Today memories....

 This morning as I wrote in my journal today's date, I was reminded once again of my daddy.  It has been 66 years since he passed away, and every year I often pause and think of him, and what our life - that I can remember of the age of 6-7 - was like, and what it was like the years after.  Sixty six years.  Yes, the thought of that can make one feel old, can it not?  At 73, I still miss my dad and wish he had lived to raise us kids.  Would our lives have been any different?

I certainly believe they would have been.  But God can see things that I cannot see.  He knows things that I cannot know.  And because my dad did pass, and our lives were changed in that moment in time, I can look back and still see the hand of God upon me.  He allowed me to go through some very tough things.  But because of them, I am more aware and more conscious of these things.  He allowed me to do some very stupid things.  And because of that, I know what shame feels like and how easy it is to become filled with the worldly things.  And because He allowed me to marry and move out here,  He allowed troubling times that would cause me to run back to Him and allow Him to love me, forgive me, fill me, and remove my sins and set me free.  

He is a good, good father, and what He has done for me, He will do for you.  All you have to do is ask Him, and give Him your life and allow Him to mold you into His perfect image.  Doesn't mean I do everything right - I certainly don't.  But, I have One who will always be there to guide and direct my path.  So I like to think that my dad's passing served a good purpose.  After all, there are things that I cannot see, cannot know, but my God sees all and knows all.  He knows our lives from birth to death and all that will happen in between.  It's hard to thank God for the trials and hardships, and easy to thank Him for the good times and the rewarding times.... but in ALL things we are told to thank Him.

Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV):  "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Being content isn't a 'thing', it is a choice.  We can choose to be content with what we have, or we can always crave more.  I choose to be content...  but will admit there are times I'm in the 'more' category, especially when it comes to knowing God.  I always want to know Him more....  and I have learned that 'things' I 'had to have', after a time, do not mean as much.  In fact, I have some 'things' I'd like to get rid of...  we probably all do.

It was nice to have the TV off last night so that I could read.  Hubby turned it off 'on his own' right after the news.  I grabbed a book and got several chapters in to it.  After a couple hours , though, my eyes were burning and heavy, so off to bed we went. I miss those days when I could sleep in as long as I wanted and I could stay up all night if I wanted (and did many times in my single years!) and read a good book.  I wouldn't dare stay up all night reading now... I get 'missed' if not in the bed and hubby can't sleep.  Of course he tosses and turns most of the night anyway, so he tells me.  He believes what his Fitbit tells him... I tell him it's not accurate cause it will reflect 'awake' every time he flip flops.  Yeah, he does big flip flops.  LOL

Dang! I just choked on my coffee!  I picked up my cup to take a swallow and it went down the 'wrong  pipe' I guess (why do we say that?  We only have one pipe!) and I grabbed my cup to spew it back into the cup versus all over my computer.  Guess I won't be drinking the rest of that!  What was THAT about! LOL

With that, I guess I'll hush for today.  It's Tuesday, I'll have a few hours alone as hubby has his Bible study, then will go to lunch with his friend, then his doctor appointment got moved to this afternoon so he will head on down there - wow - I'll be home alone a large portion of the day.  Too bad I have to work - but still, what can I get done while he is gone?  I'm thinking of washing down the doors; I've noticed a darkened area on a couple doors where our hands have been as we shut the doors.  If I don't forget, I can do that.  Don't have that much in my laundry basket so no need to do that.  Hmmmm.  I'm sure my bosses will give me lots of meetings to create today as they didn't have much yesterday. 

 Breakfast with my favorite boss tomorrow so will be gone most of the morning.  YAY!  I've got a lot of things going on the rest of the week...after today.  Breakfast Wednesday, lunch with a friend on Thursday, lunch with friends from the RV park on Friday, and Saturday we will be heading to Tucson, with a return on Sunday.  Spending money like we have some.  Oh well, can't take it with us. 

Wow - my mind was going off on another road, but lucky you, I erased it and am now going to end this.  Hope you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

I thought it might be a dud....

 but God.  He took the message that I wasn't quite sure how it would come out - and spoke to people through it.  More people then ever, I think, commented on it as they went out the door, saying that it spoke to them.  I even had one text me afterwards that she felt I was speaking right at her!  And it could only be God.  I was just the deliverer of the message; it was God speaking to His people.  Thank you, Lord.

He also was with us as we went to Mesa.  We made good time getting down to Mesa and stopped for lunch at a Mexican restaurant called Nando's near the assisted living place.  Oh.my.goodness.  We both got the lunch plate... I got the 'Pollo Rico' which is like the El Pollo Asada (whatever it is called) at Garcia's or Top Shelf.  The LUNCH plate was as big as the DINNER plate at other places.  I still had two chicken burros (?) covered in a jalapeno cream cheese sauce and rice and beans... and no, I couldn't eat it all!  Guess what is for lunch today!  Hubby had a steak carne asada and could not eat it all.  I am sure he is thinking he gets it all for lunch today... but I may fool him and eat my own chicken and leave him what he had for leftovers.  It was so good and we were impressed with the place.  It wasn't bad price wise for the lunch plate - $12 for me; hubby, because he wanted steak carne asada, was about $15.50.  More than enough food, our waiter was awesome, and we enjoyed the lunch.

We made it to the assisted living place and went to the dining room where the service was to be held.  Since my boss' dad was the first tenant at the assisted living, he knew everyone, was the 'welcome ambassador', and was so friendly to everyone.... the dining room was full of not only residents, but employees who wanted to honor him.  The service went well; God worked through the words I had to share; and the AL provided sandwiches and fruit, veggies, nuts, sodas, water and tea for everyone as their way to honor him.  We finally left about 3:30PM and headed back home.  It was a little over an hour's drive.  I had told my boss I was doing it because I loved her dad.  I had met him a few times over the years.  I wanted to honor him.  My boss gave me a card when I got there and I put it away until on the way home I opened it to read it.  She wrote a very nice thank you... and had put money in it... which I didn't expect.  I understand why... and it is appreciated... but the thank you note was enough.

Unless the RV park I spoke at yesterday calls me to speak again (They are extending services through Easter), I am done for the season at this park.  I have one more time at the RV park up north, and that is one I will be working on for the next couple weeks.  Then I will be done for the season.  I think November 12 is the start for the next season for me.  Yep, this RV park already has me scheduled once a month for the next season.

Philippians 4:19 (NIV):  "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus."

That scripture has popped in to my mind this morning.  I think back over the past when hubby and I struggled financially for years, and yet, God always provided what we needed.  We screwed things up a lot of times by going after the things we WANTED, but He always met us for what we needed. And He continues to provide what we need to this day.  I am so grateful that He loves us and watches over us.

And He loves you and watches over you as well.  So many people take things for granted.  They may always have lots of food to eat; they may always have money to do whatever they want to with... but do they realize what a blessing that is?  I can remember when going to Burger King after church on Sundays was a treat for us!  We have become a greedy group of people, always wanting things and not seeking diligently after the heart of God.

People do not realize how much God wants to bless them.  All He asks is that you accept Him as Lord of your life, and give Him the honor due Him.  To love Him; to worship Him as Lord.  We tend to put so many other things before Him.... and that is our failure in life.  We may - or may not  - have success in the things we do without Him... but when you dedicate your life and your family to Him,  He will walk the journey of life with you and it will be so much more successful.  You will never be in need, for He says He will meet all your needs.  But our God is a jealous God... He must be first in your life.  We are not to put anything in front of Him.

Anything means anything.  Not money. Not desires. Not projects. Not jobs. Not people. Not anything.  We are not to love anything more than Him.

Sound impossible?  If you love God first, then He will give you the desires of your heart for your enjoyment.  But sometimes also, what you think are your desires may not be what God wants for you and to give you.  He sees the big picture of our desires and if it will be good for us or not.  He doesn't want to harm us or cause us problems; He wants to bless us.  But He must be first.

It really isn't hard to let God be first in our lives.  How I wish I had known way back when what I know now!  If I had put God first... if I had been taught about God when I was a child and knew His ways, oh how my life would have been so different!  But God still watched over me and took me to where I would run back to Him and seek Him only and put Him first.  If all I have is taken away, I still will have Jesus.  No one can take Him away from me.

Back to work today - timecard Monday - but since they took one department away from me - timecards are so easy as they are all salaried employees.  I can approve without them approving their cards as I can see if they put in for PTO or not.  So much easier.  

We are planning a trip to Tucson next Saturday.  I'm still paying a lot for a hotel room, but I want to go see my granddaughter and her family.  I don't want to go all year and not see them until Christmas.  I've got to make the effort to see my grandchildren more.  I know they are busy - as I am - but I need to reach out.  Christmas to Christmas with them being near us is far too long. That is my goal this year - to see them more often.  We'll be heading down mid-day to Tucson, visit our granddaughter, check in at the hotel, go back and visit and have dinner with them.  Overnight at the hotel and in the morning we plan to just stay in and read our Bibles and have a 'retreat' time.  After we check out, will stop by and see them as we head back out of town.  I don't want to be an inconvenience to them; but do want to see them and appreciate them taking time out of their busy schedules to see us.

I hope to be able to contact our former neighbor today.  Hubby has made no effort to return his call. When hubby was in the bathroom the other night I grabbed his phone and verified that I had the right number.  I hope to make contact with John today and see if all is ok.  I really want to see him face-to-face so that I can get information from him and make sure we will know if something happens to him. I know John cares about us and would help us if we ever needed him.  But he and hubby just didn't hit it off... he would try to offer help (wisdom) to hubby - and it was resented... oh well - another story another day.

Need to get my thoughts together for another day.  A new employee has been hired and I need to order equipment for him.  Another part of this job that I don't care for.  So many forms to get a new employee taken care of.  Why can't they just have one form and you put all the information on that one form?  It would be so much easier.  Last time I was told I ordered (and they shipped) a double order of monitors.  I can see how that happened - but daggone it - if I didn't have so many forms to fill out to order equipment and things, it wouldn't have happened! UGH.

Hope that your day is a ...

Blessing!

It's going to be a busy day!

 Ah - Sundays are to be a day of rest - are they not?  Well, today is going to be a busy one for me!  Well, actually, for both of us, but I'm the one who is going to be doing all the talking!  I'm speaking at the RV park this morning , then we will be heading down to Mesa afterwards, where I will be officiating the Celebration of Life service for my boss' father, who passed last month.  I finally got both messages completed yesterday and this morning have already gone through the message and have added and deleted some things.  For some reason, I'm wishing I had written something else... yet, I know that this will speak to someone who needs to hear it.

Our former neighbor.  I still haven't talked to him.... but hubby did go over to our old neighborhood and when he found our neighbor wasn't home, talked to the people across the street and they told him they had seen him since we had received that call.  Still not comfortable about it, I really want to talk to him myself.  I asked hubby if he left him a note - he said he left his telephone number and email. (why the email?) Anyway - he said our friend had called him while hubby was driving so he didn't answer.  And he said he tried once and didn't get an answer so hadn't tried again.  I've tried the number I have a few times but haven't gotten a response yet.  I will continue trying and if I don't get him, at some point I will drive over there myself and leave him a note if he isn't home.  Better yet, maybe I'll write him a note - maybe he will check his mail.  My hubby drives me crazy at times - I am concerned about this neighbor we lived next to for nearly 30 years - I want to make sure he is ok; I want to get information from him should something seriously happen - how will we find out?  I know hubby was somewhat always irritated by him, mainly because our neighbor .... well, let's just stop here.  I care about our neighbor and he lives alone.  His sons are out of state.  Who else would check up on him?  And he had MY number as an alarm contact. Could have been when Bonnie was alive and he just never changed it - but still....  I believe there is a reason I got that phone call and I feel we need to follow up and re-establish contact with him.  Hubby has none of those feelings.  sigh.

Yesterday was a somewhat busy day too.  I did go to Needles of Hope and had a good time there.  Someone brought donuts and although I shouldn't, I did.  And I brought home a fritter for hubby, which he quickly devoured.  I then headed to the assisted listing to pick up Ms. Amy.  Bless her heart.  I brought her back to her 'condo' and left her there and came back home for a little while.  She packed up some things she wanted and altered a couple pair of pants that were too big for her.  All in all, it was bout 2.5 hours she was there and was finally ready to go back.  I got her back to the assisted living about 4:27PM - and her dinner hour started at 4:30PM - lol - I helped her take her things in to her room and zoom - she was heading to the dining room and I left to come back home.  She said it is late April or early May before she will be moving to Florida - the place there is still doing repairs from the last hurricane that came through.  She's hoping to go back regardless and even stay with another daughter while it is being finished.  She's ready to leave.  They are in no hurry to sell their place - which puzzles me... but the kids want different things and they have to arrange to get them shipped.  Pieces of furniture that their grandfather had made, mainly.  I don't blame them; those things are priceless and solid - can't find dressers made like those are.  And Ms. Amy has 4-5 or more of them.  I think her father made 3 or 4 of them, plus some trunks that she has.  "Not my monkey, not my circus" right? There might be a couple things I'd like to have... but I really have no place for them so am not dwelling on them.

Psalm 33:4-5 (NKJV):  "For the word of the Lord is right, and all His work is done in truth. He loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of the goodness of the Lord."

Some people try to twist the Bible to say what they want it to say; twist the words to mean what they want them to mean.  But deep down, they know that whatever the Word of God says, it really does mean - and it just boils down to WE don't want to read something that disagrees with our selves, our thoughts.  Do you agree?

We want what we want - regardless.  And it is within us to be a selfish and self-center people.  Yes, I have known people who call themselves devout and good Christians and yet, I see them cheating other people out of things.  I know of one man I've known for years, and he claims my mother led him to the Lord when he was selling her insurance policies years ago.  He went on to become a minister, although I don't think he ever pastored a church.  But I have heard over the years of his pushing on old friendships and taking whatever he wanted, in spite of how he hurt others.  I lost respect for him when I heard it.  And he continues doing what he does to this day.  He will be held accountable.

Because God's Word stands on every circumstances.  There is no way one can twist the words of God and make it right.  Righteousness and Justice is what God calls for - and we are to be obedient to the Word of God.  No matter what we wish it would say, a sin is a sin is a sin in the eyes of God.  We cannot sugarcoat it.

We are called to be holy and righteous; "Be holy as I am holy" says the Lord.

Think back over the past few days - has everything you have done been done in truth and righteousness?  Something to think about.

Blessings!

I really had to listen to it....

 for it to soak in what it was actually saying.  I received an 'unknown caller' call on Thursday and I let it go to voicemail.   A few hours later I noticed the voicemail, and thinking it was another call for my blood, was only half listening when I realized it was Vivent, the alarm company we had at our other house.  They were telling me my alarm was going off and they had dispatched police and fire to the location.  I didn't listen closely, and did try to call them back at the number to tell them they had the wrong number... but there was no answer.  Fast forward to last night... I remembered the call and thought I'd see which house it was and try to figure out how they got my telephone number.  I google mapped it - and our house had been 3317... I didn't realize that 3311 was our neighbor's house next door - the one where Bonnie and John lived.  Well, Bonnie died, but John was still living there.  So I went back and listened again to the voicemail and it said the medical and panic button had been pushed.  Did John have a heart attack?  Did he fall?  I have tried calling him numerous times now and he has not answered.  Is he in the hospital?  Is he dead?  And, not being a relative, I have no way of finding out any information.  So I have been praying for him.  In fact, I woke up around midnight this morning with this on my mind and I have prayed all night, in between dozing, for John and my son's leg.  I finally got up at 4:15AM so I would quit tossing and turning.  My head was pounding so I have taken an Ibuprofen (yes, it hurt that much) and surprisingly, I haven't fallen back to sleep - yet.  I plan to run by John's house after Needles of Hope today and see if the door is broken in to or what is going on.  I will keep trying to call John with hopes that he will answer soon.  And, if I get him, I'm going to get telephone numbers of his sons (who all live out of state) and who else should be called should something happen to him.

But what is confusing as well - why did he have my telephone number as a back-up on his alarm?  We've seen him maybe twice in the over two years we have moved away.  He knows I loved and cared about him; was that why?  He did have other friends - why my number - and why without telling me he had done that?  Was it a carryover from when Bonnie was alive?  I had a key to the house then - but I turned it in when we moved.  Praying I can find out something today for my heart is heavy for him.

Isn't this weird?  I just google-mapped the address again to make sure I hadn't looked at the wrong house... look what has been done to the street number!  I didn't see that on any other house number.  I don't know when google took that photo... but isn't that strange?  It's almost as if someone 'marked' the house?  I definitely am going to drive by there today after Needles of Hope to check it out.  So very strange.  

My boss text'd me late yesterday afternoon to tell me that the retreat went very well, 'thank you, and well done'.  He has no clue the stress I was under; afraid I had forgotten something.  So glad it is over with and now life goes on.  He has hired a new employee to start in a couple weeks, and procrastinator that I am... have put off ordering things for him until Monday.  My plate has just been too full the past few days.  Today will be busy, and tomorrow even more so with both preaching at the RV park and then driving to Mesa to do the Celebration of Life service.  I will be ready to collapse by tomorrow night, I'm sure!

I'm hoping for a short getaway next weekend and have text'd my granddaughter if we could spend some time with them on Saturday.  Found a hotel that wasn't over the top and I'll 'book it' as soon as I hear back from her.  She will probably let me know today.  I just need to get away from our same o same o days.  I may even see about taking that Monday off - even though we'd be here at home again.  I am just needing a break from routine, I think.  Getting somewhat stir-crazy staying in the house all the time - although I did get out and go to the grocery store yesterday for a few things, and to get gas. AND I was alone.  It felt good.

We watched War Room again last night - I love that movie and it always encourages me to stay focused on my prayers.  It is so easy to just sit in my chair every morning, read my Bible, write in my journal, and type on here - and get up and get busy with my day.  I need to also take the time to get on my knees (rather than just writing out my prayers) and actually do some talking to my Heavenly Father.  I watch this movie and my mind starts going in circles trying to figure out 'where' I could have my own prayer closet.  It is harder when one is married, I'm afraid.  The only closet possible out of the three we have - is the front closet... which is full of coats and who knows what else.  

It could be do-able... it's big enough, and I think it would work... but hubby has - no kidding - about 20 jackets/hoodies/coats to my 5-6 coats and where would he put those?  I had no idea he had that many coats and jackets!  I need to 'suggest' he go through them and choose some we can donate to a homeless shelter or something.  I have a feeling though that he won't want to do it.  Even if I could get him to get rid of half of them - he would not move the others out of that closet.... I don't think.  He has more clothes than I do so his closet is full.  

So then my thoughts have gone to the back room where I have all my exercise equipment that I rarely use.  As long as we live here, we have to pay the yearly rec fee so why am I hanging on to these?  It's convenient for sure, but not if I don't use them, right?  I need to move my butt to the rec center and get in the habit of exercising there.  If I get rid of these, I could put a couch or loveseat back there and make it into a 'prayer room' - don't you think?  Not a lot of privacy as it is an open room, but yet, I think hubby would leave me alone  - or he may even use it too.  I'm going to have to think on that.  Afterall, I am the one who would have to give up my treadmill, weights and weight bench, and trampoline.  Am I ready to do that?  Do I want to do that?  

Philippians 4:19 (NKJV): "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."

God knows my desire is to have a place where I can spend alone time with Him.  Yes, I have this room, but if we have guests, they get this room and I have to go to the couch, interrupting my space.  And, I share this room also as my office.  So we have a bed, an office, and a quiet space all in one room - and it's cluttered and distracting.  So much to think about.

But the verse about tells me that God will supply all my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.  That tells me He will help me with wisdom and revelation - to know what I am to do.  I know we have way too much 'stuff'.... which means I need to get rid of some 'stuff'.  Oh the agony of letting go!

You may laugh - but you have no idea my problem of letting go of things - even I don't understand why I hang on to things like I do.   But every once in awhile, I do get the 'let go' mood and do let go of some things.  I just don't get any encouragement or help from hubby.... he hangs on to things more than I do.  Imagine that.  I hang on to things a lot of times for sentimental reasons - a grandchild gave it to me, or a child, or my mother, or a brother or sister... or a close friend... but they are just things.  If I'm not using them, I need to let them go, right?  I'll think about it.

Ok - need to get my thoughts together for today and spend a little time working on this Celebration of Life until I need to leave my room and face the real world.  Hope that you have a blessed day and trust God to supply all you need - whether it be healing (have you asked Him to heal you?), financial (did you ask if He would provide what you needed?), or success (did you pause to ask Him what direction does He want you to take to make you successful?)?  Lean into Jesus - trust Him and ask Him for what your heart desires... let Him guide you in all things.

Blessings!

He noticed....

Yeah... hubby went out to do a couple errands yesterday morning and decided to do laundry upon his return.  I heard him go into my closet...and I waited.... and sure enough!  He hollers at me "Did you do laundry?"  I debated on a comment, but just said 'yes'.  "When?"  "Tuesday morning."  "Why?" "Because I needed to get away from the computer and do something."  and that was about how it went.  No more comments.  He started on his laundry.  I suppose I should have done his as well, but I wouldn't have been able to get both done.  In fact, I don't think he got all of his done yesterday.  

Hubby has breakfast early this morning with a friend and then has a dentist appointment so will be gone most of the morning.  I wonder what I can get in to!  

Finished another book by Michael V Ivanov last night.  Hubby started reading the 'Cabin' one.  I need to stop reading and finish up things I need for Sunday.  I have the message done, which I can go over some time during the day, but I still need to put together the memorial service I am to do Sunday afternoon.  I need to make sure I have all the information together and put together a short message to give, and well, just put it together.  Tomorrow will be a busy Saturday so I need to get started today if I can and not put off until tomorrow.  (remember, I am a procrastinator... but I do work well under stress too)  I'd rather curl up with another good book, just saying!

Today should be a fairly light day at work - I'm hoping.  My one boss is in Tucson for the board retreat (sure am praying that goes well!) and my other boss kind of laid back yesterday as she had a stomach bug.  I hope she is better, but she also will be taking it easy today, I'm sure.  I should be able to work on my message and the memorial service some.  Would be nice to be finished and confident about both by end of day.

Tomorrow is Needles of Hope and then Ms. Amy called earlier in the week and wants me to pick her up and bring her to her place for awhile.  She wants to get more things - I have no idea what as she has a small apartment at the assisted living and there isn't room for much.  But, I told her I would go get her and bring her over.  At least with her being stronger now I don't have to stay with her.  I can come home and do what I need to do and just check on her periodically.  She will only stay a couple hours there and I will need to run her back to the assisted living.  And I will probably repeat myself tomorrow and say the same thing in here.  My exciting life.

I was reading Numbers 13 this morning about when Moses sent the 12 men into the Promised Land and they came back carrying one cluster of grapes within two poles - I can't even imagine grapes that big!  If you recall the story, 10 of the men felt they were 'grasshoppers' to the people there.. but two men felt that if they attacked, God would be with them and they could conquer the people and take the land.  The people listened to the 10 spies versus Caleb and Joshua, the two spies (Caleb from the tribe of Judah, and Joshua from the tribe of Ephraim) and it caused them a whole lot of trouble!  They choose to be like grasshoppers versus grapetasters!

Did you know that your attitude determines your altitude?  If you do not have the right attitude, you will never climb to the right altitude.  If you are a person who can perceive greatness where other people perceive frustration, God says, "There is someone I can use. I will give him so much milk and honey and grapes it will blow his mind!"  The devil wants you to be a grasshopper and fit into your environment and be nothing.  Grasshoppers never go against the grain.

But what if - and He is - God is looking for Grape-Tasters?  Grape-tasters stand up against the majority and do not fit into this world. They may look like the world, but they don't live nor act like the world because grape-tasters are different. They see their circumstances in a different way - they know who they are.

All twelve spies had faith... but ten had greater faith in the giants of the land while two of the spies had their faith in God.  Ten grasshoppers and two grape-tasters!  Self-perceptions are contagious. If I think I am weak, others are going to agree with me.  If I think I am a failure, then everyone else will think I am a failure. Whatever you say you are, the world will agree with you.  But God says....

Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV):  "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he."

You were made with great value and worth because God created you in His image.  When you choose Jesus over the world, you can embrace all things because God has given them to you and you choose to please Him.  No matter what comes against you, whether it is sickness, health, wealth or poverty, there is One who will walk with you all the the way though it.  When you belong to Jesus, nothing is impossible for you.  The journeys may be a struggle at times; you may not understand why God allows certain things to happen, but He always sees the big picture and He will use the circumstances you are going through to bring you closer to Him.

And all we need to do is open our heart and mind to Him and allow Him to work through us.

Yeah, I grumble a lot at times about work and the stress it is - and how I look forward to retirement - but, you probably also realize my grumbling probably won't go away... I'll just find something else to grumble about.  Why?  Because that is what we do.  We are never 'happy' in our own self.  But when I keep my mind on Jesus and how I can honor Him in all I do and say, my grumbling can cease for "He who is greater in me, is greater than he who is in the world."

So what are you thinking about yourself this morning?  Yes, we all have faults of some kind, but if we allow Jesus to work in us and through us, we can be assured that we are beloved and redeemed by His blood.  I choose Jesus - what about you?

Blessings!

What now, buttercup?

 Yesterday was a busy, stressful day for me.  The thoughts of 'if you weren't working you wouldn't have this problem' kept running through my head.  It started in the morning... I was told I was to see about getting the powerpoint printed for the board retreat tomorrow.  At least someone in Tucson gave me a place to send to and they would pick it up.  But oh my goodness!  I was told this in the morning, then it kept going back and forth amongst them on correcting slides, replacing slides... and at 3:45PM they finally gave me the finished powerpoint.  Then I started to do the submission on line - and I about hyperventilated.  It was going on my boss' credit card.  The bill was almost $1200 to print 20 copies of 90 pages, double side, in color.  I called him and we discussed.  Eventually we got it down to 17 copies... and then I had to work with Fed Ex in getting it down to them, and talking with them for about 30 minutes to get it together - and the bill was still almost $1100.  Unbelievable.  As soon as I get the receipt I need to submit it so that my boss will get paid back. 

And while I was dealing with those issues, my youngest and his daughter came over with the great-gran to get her Christmas gifts.  The great-gran is sure a cutie at 5 months!  Smiles a lot too.  Once I was able to get away from the computer (about 4:20PM) they only stayed a few more minutes before they had to leave.  It was good to see them, albeit briefly.... but I was working so there's that.

Today.  I didn't sleep well last night - woke up around 1-ishAM... could not go back to sleep, so prayed over my siblings and my children... eventually I went back to sleep but didn't sleep well.  Yes, I wanted to go back to sleep in here this morning and if I had let myself, probably easily could.  Oh, by the way, hubby still hasn't noticed I did my laundry.  If he waits long enough, he won't even know. tee hee Or I can just play dumb when he questions why there isn't much in the basket.

Had lunch with my friend at her apartment yesterday - but also told her that isn't going to work in the future.  I can appreciate her having to watch her money closely - I get that.  But it's about 20+ minutes one way to her place and I only get an hour for lunch - and I was gone two hours yesterday.  Lunch was good, though - we had a baked potato and a salad.  Love that arrangement.   I was so exhausted with all the stress I had going on yesterday we went out for Pizza last night at Streets of New York.  It was good too.

Today should not be as stressful.  The pointpoint will be ready to be picked up at noon.  It's out of my hands.  My message is done for Sunday.  I still need to work on the celebration of life service program and message.  I will start working on it tonight.  Last night I just wasn't mentally there and I am hoping will be today.  I did start a second book by Michael V Ivanov - it's about doing extraordinary things.  I really like his style of writing for it allows me to 'draw the picture' in my mind and it holds my interest. Some would think his style of writing is plain, but I do like it. And in the two books I've read/started on, he has written a note in the front of the book.  Haven't checked the other two.  I think that is really cool.

I Corinthians 2:9 (NKJV):  "But as it is written: "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, or have entered into the heart of man, the things which God had prepared for those who love Him."

Have you ever wondered the 'what if' of your life?  Have you ever thought that the circumstances that you may be going through right now - good or bad - God already knew about them?  That God had perhaps allowed this to happen or to occur?  I often think about it - and often question God on what He is trying to do to me.  LOL  Not that it is TO me, but sometimes we feel like He's got it in for us, right? Why does all the bad stuff happen when we are struggling so?  Why does the good stuff only happen to other people?  Do you ever have those questions come to mind?  I admit, sometimes my mind goes that way.  Sometimes it seems that those of us who love God and follow Him and (try) to walk in His footsteps.... we fall on our faces more often than those who do not follow Him.  

But I think it is in those times, when we are flat on our faces, that brings us closer to Him.  We realize how dependent we are upon His mercies and His grace, and we ask for His favor to help us through these tough circumstances.  Yesterday I was definitely doing a lot of talking with God about getting through all the hoops to get this powerpoint to Fed Ex and getting the instructions to them.  It's in their hands now and I have to trust God that what I told them made sense and was doable!

It will be a busy few days through the weekend.  Monday is timecards... but I wonder if I can just take Monday off... but then, why?  It's just as easy to work.  Plus I'll hear about the retreat and how it went. 

Speaking of retreat - my friend's women's retreat is at the end of this month and I'm looking forward to it.  My sister still isn't coming as of what I know now... so I'll donate her ticket and make a decision later to either have hubby stay at the hotel with me or stay alone.  I keep telling myself to 'put your big girl panties on - you can do it".  LOL  I'm not used to going to a hotel by myself, although memory tells me I have done it twice for other retreats - but the retreat was there at that hotel - and not ten minutes away in another location.  In an area I have never been in before.  But it beats driving all the way back home an hour.  

I guess I'll hush for now and head for the shower; nothing is coming to mind to write about.  Don't you just hate days like that?  Mind is totally blank and aching just a little (from over-thinking?) and you just really want to go lay back in bed and rest.... but cannot.  So - the shower it is!  Hope that you have a good day and all your problems fade away.

Blessings!

Yesterday was a busy day!

 FINALLY.  There was still some trouble on the retainer for the hotel for the board retreat so had to deal with that yesterday.  Accounts Payable told me - eventually - that it will be going out in the mail Fed Ex this.  That has been nerve-wracking, for sure.  Then my male boss and I went back and forth until I convinced him he needed to stay at the hotel the night before.  He had plans to drive down for the dinner the night before, drive back home, drive back down early the next morning, stay all day and do all the presentations, then drive back home.  I finally convinced him to stay - even though the hotel is $329 for the night.  The company should pay for it.  He said he wanted to be humble.  I told him it was better for him not to be stupid.  Yep.  I did.  He's staying the night and I booked his room.  Yes, it's a fancy hotel, but that's where the retreat is.  He will get a good night's sleep and be refreshed for the day's work.

And the cost of that hotel (we got a discount too) is why we aren't spending a weekend down there just yet to visit our granddaughter!  That's the cost for one night!  I finally found a date in April we could go down - then found out it's Easter weekend - UGH.  I want to go down sooner.  I need to sit down and really go over dates good.  I'm thinking I can work around timecards by doing them on Fridays... or take a Friday off and go down and come back Saturday... I'll figure it out eventually.

My youngest son and my prodigal granddaughter, HS, and her baby are to stop by sometime this afternoon to get her Christmas gifts.  They are getting tattoos before coming.  Oh joy.

TB, my granddaughter here in town makes me laugh.  I came across her latest video on Instagram last night and it cracked me up.  My daughter had found a design or created it, for a t-shirt for her that has to do with her new business.  She couldn't find anyone to put the design on a t-shirt.  I tried one person that I knew did it and they said they couldn't.  As I thought about it, I remembered my granddaughter in Tucson, BT, who has a cricut machine and I knew she did designs because she created several t-shirts for me.  So I asked - and she did them!  They look amazing too!  I'm so proud of the work she did - and happy that she agreed to do them.  But the video is hilarious.  Most of her videos do make me smile.  I hope her business takes off for her for she has great plans and wants to start some charities off of it as well.  Whew.  More than my brain can handle!

Ms. Amy called me last night and wants me to pick her up this Saturday and bring her to her house to get some more things.  A friend wants me to have lunch with her today at her apartment.  I'm working on the memorial service for Sunday (my boss' dad's service) and I found out yesterday that more people will be there than I had planned - I didn't know it was 'announced' with the obituary.  So I can't do a simple one like I did for my sister... I need to do a full service.  I got some information from my boss yesterday and will be working on it to bring it together.  At least I got the message completed for Sunday morning and I can just look it over to keep it in my mind. Those two things are my priority.

While hubby was at his Bible study and out to lunch with his friend afterwards, I did something I haven't been able to do in years.  Yes, I said years.  Hubby won't let me.  But he wasn't home, and I decided to do it.  He hasn't realized it yet.  I'll hear about it when he does.  What did I do?  I.did.my.own.laundry.  Yep.  And I did it all - including my towels - in three loads.  And completed it all in one morning.  Seriously, it takes him sometimes two days to do my laundry and I still haven't figured out why, nor do I want to know.  I think he just gets the colors together, whereas I know that I can throw things that have been washed a lot together as they won't 'bleed' onto each other.  Three loads, and all my laundry was washed.  My basket is in my closet so until he decides to do laundry, he won't realize it.  Maybe I will have enough in there again he will just think I haven't changed clothes. LOL   I realize that to some of you it isn't a big deal... but you have no idea .... until you walk in my shoes, don't comment.

Deuteronomy 6:4-5 (NKJV): "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

How much do you love the Lord?  Scripture says we are to love Him with all our heart, all our soul, and with all our strength.  He provides all of that - we should love Him with all of who we are.  He provides all that we need.  He strengthens us in times that we need it.  He protects us. He heals us. He guides us. He loves us.

When we don't have, it is because we do not ask Him for it.  That is not assurance we will get exactly what we ask for - how many times have we asked for things and then were grateful we didn't get them?  But He always provides what we need at the time we need it.

I've prayed to get to a gas station when I had an empty tank - and as I pull up to the pump, the fumes are finally gone.  I've prayed to find something... and He will trigger a thought and will help me find it.  I've asked for wisdom and He freely gives it.  (unfortunately I don't always heed His wisdom)  He loves us so much He wants to give us good things.  He truly is all that we need.  Reminds me of a song we sung years ago.  Never hear it anymore....

"In His time, in His time, He makes all things beautiful in His time.  Lord, please show me every day, as You're teaching me Your way, that You do just what You say, in Your time."

That song always reminds me that my life is in His hands, and all things that come to me are already in place and He will give them to me in His time.

Can you even imagine that God has your life laid out before you are even born?  He knows what we are going to do before we do it!  And He knows what He will do for us.

Lean into Him, trust Him, talk with Him, ask Him for the desires of your heart... and give Him your love, your heart, your soul, and all your strength... and in His time, He will return it all to you.

Blessings!