Doing the 'Friday dance'!

 In spite of the fact this has been 'only' a four day work week with being off on Monday, this week has been crazy busy and stressful.  Of course Monday was hubby's surgery and it was a day of extreme waiting and exhaustion. Tuesday was busy, and recovery was happening.  Full focus back on Wednesday, and yesterday was broken up by having to take hubby to the doctor's appointment.  THAT took all afternoon.  But we did stop at Olive Garden to use a gift card that was burning a hole in his pocket on the way home.  Dinner at 3:30PM - that works.  We even paid $5 each for the extra food to take home.  I like that.  Guess what's for dinner tonight!  Spaghetti.  And I thawed out some chicken earlier so will put in the air fryer and we'll have chicken with our spaghetti tonight.  Dinner is complete.

I jumped on the computer when we got home and had 37 messages - which took me over an hour to get through, schedule meetings, etc.  I think it was after 6:30PM before I turned the computer off.  My boss was still online - what's up with that? - sure hope it wasn't to find me more work!  I did email her a couple times but she didn't respond so guess she was involved in a project.  Probably learning stupid timecards.  I mean, learning timecards.  sigh.  Got to focus on that today.  I've decided that I have to learn it, so I may as well become an expert on it.

Can't think of anything we have planned for the weekend.  Want to check with a grandson with an upcoming birthday to see when we can take him out to dinner.  We love spending time with him and catching up.  Yeah, hope to get him taken out one evening soon.

I read in my devotional this morning about Naaman.  Remember him?  He's the military guy who had leprosy and the Israeli servant girl he had captured told him to go see Elisha, a prophet of God.  So he did.  He also took 10 sets of clothes, lots of coins, gold and silver, animals, and I don't know what all.  (cause I didn't go back to the story)  

Interesting.... the heading of the devotional for today is 'Willing to Listen'.  Are any of us willing to listen to others?  I like Proverbs 12:15...

Proverbs 12:15  "The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice."

Have you ever had a time when something someone said 'flipped a switch' in your mind and you go "dang!  I never thought of it like that!"  A switch gets flipped and everything makes sense.  You do it and you succeed in your task.  That's like Naaman.  In 2 Kings 5, it tells the story.  Stop and go read it.  

There was no cure for leprosy (still isn't, that I'm aware of).  Yet, once the Israelite servant girl told him to see Elisha, Naaman grasped at a straw and went.  He took all that 'stuff', expecting to buy his healing from Elisha - but Elisha didn't even come out to see him!  Sent his servant to talk to Naaman - the commander of an army!  Naaman was not happy.  He stated what he wanted, Elisha's servant told him what Elisha told him to do - "go wash in the Jordan River 7 times and ou will be healed."  Naaman was offended!  The Jordan River was dirty!  He wasn't going to do it.  But then what happened?

Another servant went to Naaman and asked him (paraphrased) "why don't you do as Elisha said?  It's such a simple thing, and you will be healed."   So again Naaman listened to his servant and went and washed 7 times in the Jordan River as instructed by Elisha...... and on the 7th washing, he was healed.  His eyes were opened when he decided to listen to what his servants had told him; what Elisha had told him, even when he didn't want to hear it.

We always think that our grass is greener on the other side.  That the advice we are given isn't good for us - unless it is what we want to hear.  Sometimes we refuse and shut our ears to hear advice from those we don't want advice from.  I get it.  Guilty.  That's me!  Unless the advice confirms what I want to do - usually I don't want to listen to it.

But sometimes we need to.  Sometimes we need to hear what others say and follow it.  It is kind of like a doctor telling you 'You need to lose weight' and we think in our minds, 'Yeah, I know I do, but I don't want to deprive myself of what will help me do that'.  So we reject the words of the doctor who is trying to help us feel better and to live a long life.  What if we don't want to live a long life?  You are only hurting yourself because you will leave a tangled emotional mess if that is what you think.  Grandchildren deprived, children deprived, memories not made.  Oh yes, when we don't follow good advice, it affects everyone around us.

But then you get my age and you wonder would anyone even care.  And yet, I know some will.  Actually, I think most will, but emotions get held in.  I always laugh and say the statement I heard from someone or read somewhere years ago - "I want to live long enough to let my children ...." I forget the rest of it.  I do not want to be a burden on my children.  I want to live a long healthy life and then die in my sleep.  I don't want extreme medical bills at the end (which is one reason I'm having to pay out a high dental bill now - if that root becomes infected it will affect my entire jaw and then, and then... sigh.  Catch 22, right?)

But sometimes people come in to our lives like Naaman's servants and tells us that we should...."      " - whatever it is.  Maybe it's time we stop and hear what they say.   It may just be the switch that flips the light inside of us.

In the meantime,  it's Friday, and I'm grateful.  

Do the Friday dance.

Blessings!

What can one do about heartache?

Ah, the erase button is getting used this morning!  Heartache.  We all have it; usually it is caused by others doing things that make no sense but hurts themselves and others.  As a mother and grandmother, I have had my share of heartache.  Now I realize all that my own mother went through.  And the sad part?  We can't really share those heartaches with others because we don't want others to feel sorry for us, nor do we want their pity.  Ah... enough of heartaches.  I am so grateful I have God to run to.  He is the One who understands my heartache and my fears and all the unknown that runs through my mind.  He is the One in Whom I can lean into, trust to hold my thoughts captive, and help me through painful times.

Some of you can understand exactly what I'm talking about because you may have experienced some of that in your own life.  We can all agree, life is hard sometimes.  Especially when it doesn't turn out the way we dreamed it would.  People we love die, children rebel, grandchildren do their own thing.  And what do we do?  We buried the emotions inside (well, some of us do), and we sit back, watch, and pray.  And that is what I choose to do.

I wish things were different.  I wish life hadn't taken the turns that it did.  I wish everyone could be happy and love each other.  I wish.... ahhhh.... so many of those wishes I have buried within me and no one will ever know.  I may have written some over the years... but which journal?  Cyberspace has some of my thoughts.... hopefully no one will find them until after I pass on.

Back to reality.... hubby is doing well.  He started to feel some twinges yeserday as the numbness wears off.  He slept a little more yesterday.  But he did do the laundry.  A friend of his stopped by to visit and brought donuts.  Today he has his regular doctor's appointment to hear results of his physical the other week and I have to drive him.  Messes up my plans... I had scheduled a facial at noon today.  Cancelled it and rescheduled.  That's ok.  I may have to cancel it again... I didn't check the calendar.  I will this morning.  So other than working, that's it for a Thursday.

I am missing the little breaks I get when hubby leaves to go somewhere.  He won't let me work in the back room I'm trying to fix up as an exercise room.  He is refusing to let me get rid of a desk back there - says I'm getting rid of too much stuff.  (seriously!)  I don't use this desk, it is a 'catch all'.  But, now I have to find a place to put it.  But I can't move anything until he is out of the house.  AND he's having the cleaning people come this week instead of next so I will have to pull up the rubber matts that I was putting together to put the treadmill on so that they can sweep the floor.  Backtracking what I've managed to sneak and do while he was asleep.

I finished the (Un)qualified book by Steven Furtick that I started earlier this week.  It was very good, actually.  I know I am unqualified to do a lot of things, but God always 'qualifies' what needs to be done. 

A friend of my sister's is struggling with her two younger children.  She and her husband adopted several children, but these were the two youngest - and were under 10 when he died of brain cancer.  He fought hard, but lost.  Two days before he died, their new house was hit by a tornado (the only one on that street) and demolished.  The contractor has been taking his time and two years later the house is still not finished.  And the wife misses her husband terribly.  Now the two youngest children, who barely knew their adopted father, have become rebellious.  The one is now 9, I think, and says she doesn't believe in God anymore because He let her daddy die.  The youngest, around 6 or 7, has become so rebellious the mother cannot homeschool him anymore and has put him in school in which he is causing major problems.  This defenseless mother is broken.  She misses her husband, she's trying to raise their children (I think there were six total), she is trying to get their home fixed, and she keeps leaning into God to help her, and He does, but life gets really hard.  I cannot fathom the pain and heartache she is going through.  

And I think of my own mother, whose husband died at age 39, leaving her with 6 children ranging in ages 16 through 1.  My mother had told me how much she and my daddy had loved each other.  I truly wish she had never remarried.... but she felt she needed someone to help her with the children.  I would rather have had a hard life than go through what we had to go through.

I've often thought of the story of Joseph in the Bible.  Moreso because it seems that no matter what I'm reading, a reference is made about Joseph.  Why Joseph?  Because he was favored by his father, and the jealousy of his brothers threw him into a pit and then sold him as a slave.  But do you see God's hand in this story, in spite of the fear and heartache Joseph had to have felt?  Joseph turned to God and held on to Him in spite of his life.  He worked in a home and was accused of attempted rape, thrown in prison, made friends with the baker and cup-bearer, and he gives them the meaning of a couple dreams - and then one is beheaded and the other forgets all about him!  Finally the Pharaoh has a dream and the cup-bearer remembers him and Joseph is brought out to reveal the dream to Pharaoh.  Then Joseph is made 2nd in the kingdom of Egypt.  Could you even imagine!  Years more pass and his brothers come from Caanan to buy food.  He recognizes them.  Oh he could have gotten revenge!  But he doesn't.  Over the course of time, he reveals himself to them and weeps over them, forgiving them for selling him into slavery.  How could Joseph do that?  How could he forgive those brothers for what they did to him?

Easily.  Because he saw God's hand upon himself, that he would be used to save the nation of Israel - a remnant that would move to Egypt and grow to be a large nation.  And when his father, Jacob, died, they took him back and buried him in the land God had given to Jacob and his people.  When Joseph died, and Moses finally was able to take Israel out of the land of Egypt back to the Promised Land from God, they carried Joseph's bones with them, that they would be buried in the land.  It's a great true story.  Joseph never gave up on God.  He said that God allowed what happened so that Joseph could save the children of Israel (Jacob).

Our lives are not as complicated as Joseph's was, but we all have been through some tough times, some tough fires, some tough heartaches.  Yet, God is always with us, no matter how we medicate the pain, no matter what we do.  God IS, not was.  And God still takes what we go through to work through life so that we can be a blessing to others.  We may not see it now, we may not see how our lives affect out children and grandchildren, our spouses, and even our friends.  But God will take our lives and use it.  How I don't know, but it's good to know that He can use unqualified people, even people like me.  And unqualified people like you.

Take a moment and think about where your life is today.  Are you happy?  Are you satisifed with where you are?  How are you influencing those around you?  Do you make a difference in their lives?

Sometimes I feel useless, a waste of space.  Truly.  And yet, sometimes I will get an email, or a note, or a phone call, and all it says is 'thanks for being there'.... and I know that God has taken something made of dirt and blessed someone. And He does that for you too.

Take a moment and bless someone today.  Do the laundry, wash the dishes, pick up the toys.... bless your spouse just by doing the little things.  God can use you too.

Blessings!

Home

 and sometimes there is nothing like it.  Hubby got to come home yesterday from the hospital and is doing very well, I think.  No pain and is seeming to move about quite freely.  The human body is interesting, for sure.  It will be interesting to see if he has any pain today as all the numbness should be wearing off.  It was a crazy unusual busy day yesterday.  I tried to work, but took off about 11:30AM to go to the hospital.  I was needing to get away from the computer.  I walked in his room to find out he had been discharged, so turned around and went to get the car.  But I had a stop first.  I smelled fresh coffee when I walked into the lobby to leave.... Starbucks was there.  So stood in line to get a cup for hubby and I.  He was downstairs before I got the coffee, but waiting (not that there was a choice) until I got outside, got the car, and pulled up front.  Had a couple stops on the way home - prescription and of course lunch!  Did a quick run-through at Taco Bell - believe it or not!  Once back home, he went to his computer and I went back to mine - only mine was to work.  Had a lot to do yesterday and still do today.  I had to make another run back to the hospital in the afternoon; he got a telephone call... he left his hearing aid box and one hearing aid mixed in the sheets of his bed.  So back we went.  

I don't know about hubby, but I slept good last night for the most part.  I didn't want to get up this morning, that's for sure.  I am really longing for a few days away somewhere, but right now it isn't possible.  I just need to get away, but to where I can be alone, and just be with God.  Some days one just needs Him to set the world right and let the clutter of life get out of the picture.  I'm tired; so very tired, and I see nothing in the near future that can help.  Oh yeah - we do need to get starting planning our Jailbreak Getaway this year.

"All my life You have been faithful, All my life You have been good, so good!  With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God."

That song has been going through my mind this morning.  Have you ever stopped to think about how good God is?  Even when you choose not to accept Him or His ways, He is good to you.  He answers the prayers of others for you, even when you don't acknowledge it.  He even answers your prayers, although they may be only thoughts, or hopes or even dreams, for you.  Heaven forbid that you would pray for something!  Just kidding - our prayers are that you WOULD seek God for something!

This year is truly a year of things going on.  A granddaughter gets married, and we have not one, but two (that we are aware of) great-grandbabies on the way from another granddaughter and a fiancee of a grandson.  I love babies, but my heart breaks for these two because of the circumstances.  Both have such a hard life ahead of them.  I know I've touched on 'babies having babies' before.  I can't even help much which is very difficult.  I pray for both, that they will realize that they have a treasured life inside of them growing, and that they will love this baby and care for it as a parent should.  It won't be a 'flour baby' as they used to give at high school.  This one will be real, and it pees and poops and wants a bottle, and wants to be loved.  I pray they will give it all it needs.  And ask for help when they can't.

A granddaughter has posted her wedding photos on facebook.... I just happened to see the popup link when I signed on the computer this morning, so took a quick look through them.  The wedding was beautiful and the photos reflect that.  I'm sure there are more photos, but these look great.  It was a joyful occasion, for sure.  

I wonder, as we look through the photos of our lives - as far back as we can remember - what do we see?  Do we see all the joyful, beautiful times of life, laughter, and love?  Or do we just remember the bad and difficult and painful times?  I've tried to push the dark times away and have pretty much succeeded, I think.  I can't change the past, but how I deal with the future, is a result of that past.  But I choose not to allow the past to continue to live.  It's done.  I can't change it.  I can just work on making the future better.

I've made a lot of mistakes over the years.  There are some years that I'd like to erase completely.  But it is in those years that I grew.  And so do you.  We all have painful stuff in our past that we'd like to get rid of - all we want to remember is the joyful and happy times.  And we do need to hang on to those.  Sometimes those thoughts are what sustain us.

One thing for sure - in all my years, even before I truly KNEW Jesus, He was faithful to me.  That song still resonates:  "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.  Little ones to Him belong, They are weak, but He is strong.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so."  I love Chris Tomlin's song "He loves me".  

Sing it a few times in your head this morning.... reflect on it, and His faithfulness to you all these years.  You may not acknowledge Him, but He's there.  Why?  Because others have prayed for you.  Not just your mama, but your spouse, your children, your friends.  Jesus is there, and He's waiting for you to sit down and talk with Him.  Will you?

Blessings!

It's over, and all is well...

It turns out that we were both wrong.  We arrived at the hospital a little before 9AM and went up to the waiting room, where they came fairly soon and got hubby.  I never saw him again until after the surgery later that afternoon.  When the doctor finished, he came to see me in the waiting room to tell me what all he did.  After 2.5 hours in surgery (I really like the system they have; they give us a number and we can watch a color coded screen.  As they move into surgery, (yellow) into closing (purple), into recovery (green) the colors change with their number on a screen so all day long I can see  what was going on), he was moved into the recovery room.  Dr. Smith (yes, his real name), said that he only did the surgery on the left abdomen.  He got interrupted a couple times with phone calls so his information, though I'm sure complete, was broken up.  He said that the veins in the abdomen were 'all over the place' (what does that mean?) and they ended up doing 8 stents to fix that one aneurysm.  They were not going to do surgery on the aneurysm on the right side of the abdomen because it is 2cm and they don't need to unless they are at 4cm, which is what the one behind the left knee is at.  That surgery will be scheduled sometime in March, I think.  He said hubby did well, was doing well.  About an hour or so later he was finally moved to his room as he was to stay overnight.  I finally was allowed to see him then and found my way up to his room.  He was wide awake - and hungry!  LOL  He had to continue to lay flat for two more hours - which I think were the most agonizing hours for him.  He wasn't to move about, and had to lay still.  I placed the order for his dinner about 6:15PM as it would take about 45 - 60 minutes to get it to him.  I left about 6:30PM to come home as I was exhausted.  I hadn't eaten all day and my eyes were burning from lack of sleep the night before.  I'm sure he was glad to get to move when the time came, and to get his food.  

I need to catch up on work this morning, and because we know he will be coming home today, I will stay home until time for him to be picked up, then I will head over to do that.  I didn't sleep well last night - and because I WAS home alone, awake at 10:30PM I turned the light on and read some in a book before trying to go back to sleep.  And, of course I was awakened early this morning as I usually am to come do my quiet time.  I want to go back to sleep, but I do need to catch up on the work emails.  Have a lot to do today.  NOT looking forward to it.  

As of last night, hubby is doing fine from his surgery.  I thank God for taking care of him and watching over him.  Once he gets back home, life will begin to get back to normal for awhile.

I'm reading a good book by Steven Furtick called (Un)qualified.   It reminded me somewhat of the message Sunday and the labels we put on ourselves and on others.  Especially others.  But the book talks about the labels we put on ourselves.  For example, how would you finish this sentence - what would be the third word?  

I am .....................  

How would you define yourself?  I am 'pretty'?  I am 'smart'?  I am '..................'  - what would you make that third word?

How does that word define you and how does it line up with God's Word for you?  I'm only in the 3rd - or 4th chapter and it was pretty late last night and I was pretty tired when I read it - but it really gave me something to think about.  Do I call myself what God calls me?

If you will go to Ephesians (it's a fairly short book - easy read) - you will read all the 'labels' that God calls you.  Personally, I like the 'I am ...........' that God calls me rather than what I tend to call myself.  Look them up.  I bet you will like these words better too.

I John 4:10  (NKJV)  "In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be propitiation for our sins."

Ephesians... I am Blessed, I am Chosen..... keep looking, you can find them!

Blessings!

It's today. Not just Valentine's Day....

 Today is surgery day.  It always seems like it was so far in the future, so far away, but time has passed quickly by at its own pace, and today ist he day for hubby's surgery.  My thoughts have been all over the place last night... full of 'what if' and uncertainty.  Why is that?  Because yesterday, it seemed more than a little more than usual, the reality he is 84 years old and he seemed more confused at times.   Perhaps it is because he is so afraid of the surgery.  We did go to church yesterday and saw some friends there.  Hubby asked one friend to pray for him so she annointed him and prayed over him.  When she asked him specifically what surgery he was to have... well, it could have changed as I haven't been in contact with the doctor... but when I was in the doctor's office last October, it was the aneurysm in the left abdomen and the one behind the left knee today..... and the next surgery will be the aneurysm in the right side of the aneurysm.  He told our friend that it was just the one behind his knee.  I didn't correct him because it could have changed.  I asked him about it later and he admitted he may have gotten confused, but thought the doctor had just said the knee.  I guess I will find out when the doctor comes in to check on him before surgery.  I hope I have the opportunity to ask!  I did take today off work and anticipate being in the hospital all day.  If I recall correctly, the surgery can take 4-6 hours.  Just the sound of that is scary.  I'm taking my crochet and a book to read.  We are to be there around 9AM and surgery isn't until 11AM.  It will be late afternoon before we know anything.  All prayers are appreciated.

As I mentioned above, we did go to church yesterday to the place we wanted to check out.  Bluntly, it was wild and crazy.  Of course we are 'old' so it would seem so to us.  We are used to order.  The band was loud, but we knew most of the songs.  The pastor's wife spoke and if her words were running a race - they won.  She talks reallllly fast.  But it was a good message and I at least brought some of it home with me.  Things like....Don't put labels of the past on people.  Just because they lied yesterday, don't call them a liar today.  Instead encourage them to speak truth.  Just because they were lazy yesterday don't call them lazy today; speak into them to encourage them to do something productive.  They may have been an alcoholic yesterday, but today is a new day and give them the encouragement to be one who chooses carefully what he drinks.  He may be accident prone, or a drama queen, or .... we shouldn't call them what they were before.... but call them who they can be.

Words like....My child is one who keeps their room clean.  My daughter is a great cook.  My wife makes our house a home.  My husband is always attentive to me.  My parents are fun to be around.  My mom makes me feel loved.  My dad is always there for me.  My friend is ..... There are so many positives that we can label people with rather than what they WERE.  I certainly do not want Jesus to call me by what I was.  Today He calls me His beloved, His child.  I would rather be that, than what I was before.

When we meet Jesus, our name changes.  We are loved, rather than unloved.  We are beautiful, rather than ugly.  Jesus changes everything.  When you encounter Jesus.... life changes.  Our perspective, our behavior, our attitudes.  Jesus changes everything.

Think about it.  Wanna change?  Try Jesus.

Sometimes it comes early.....

 When hubby brought my coffee to me this morning he also handed me a Valentine card.  Inside was a gift card for Amazon and a very nice note from him.  He really does try to please me.  He knows that I will spend the Amazon card - it may not all be on me, but I use it for whatever I want - and it means that it doesn't come out of my checking account.  That's always a good thing.  I haven't bought/created him a card yet.... I have an account at Blue Mountain so can create a card from there - which has been my intent all along.  I can print it and make an envelope to put it in - or just give it to him.  I suppose I will do it later today since tomorrow he will be at the hospital.  His gift was ordered a couple weeks ago but has not arrived yet.  He knows what it is; just doesn't 'know' it is also his Valentine's day gift.  Yes, that was my plan when I ordered it.

Today is Sunday and we do plan to plysically go to the church we have been discussing to experience their worship.  I say it that way because worship isn't just the music, which is what most people say it is.  Worship is the entire service - giving all glory and honor to God.  I must admit I'm apprehensive about he message - if that is right word.  What I heard on the computer hasn't been one that would draw me to that church.  However, with that being said, my friends who go there say that to really 'hear' the message, one must attend in person.  So that is what we are going to do this morning.  We still listen to Jentezen Franklin and other messages online so are still getting the Word in us.  I'm really praying and hoping that we both will feel drawn to attend; I miss the fellowship of other believers.  Being in person is much better than listening online.  Even though I do have to get dressed to go.... don't think they'd appreciate my pajamas and footies.

I started cleaning my bookcase in this room yesterday - not intentionally.  And not completely.  A grandson signed up for Ancestry.com and it came up that I was his 'close relative'.  That always cracks me up but am glad it is in our DNA or genes or whatever it is.  (Another grandson signed up and it came up I was his mother!)  I emailed him the family tree I have of my mother's side.  I have started to update it a few times right now my 'line' but never finish it.  I really should do that.  Or at least pull out 'my side' of the family line.  But what started the 'cleaning' was my search for a typed copy that I had received years ago.  I know I have the 'original' somewhere, but cannot find it.  I did find - after going through several cabinets and boxes out in the garage - a copy.  It goes back to the 1400's.  And it covers my grandmother, not so much my grandfather, which is what the emailed copy is. Two different people worked on it.  I scanned that document into my computer and emailed it to the grandson as well. Which reminds me, I need to find that email and save that document to this computer, versus just leaving it in an email.

As I was searching for that document, I cleaned off the bottom two shelves of this bookcase.  Found I had lots of spiral notebooks that are blank.  Found some journals I had written in.  Anyway, straightened it up - especially after finding 'tons' of papers that I had brought home from the office in 2019, when I was sent home to work, thinking I might need them... well, they are in the trash.  I haven't used them in two years so figure everything has changed since then.  Made that bottom shelf look better; plus I took about 8 books to the bookcase in the other room.  And brought back two that I wanted to re-read off of one of those shelves.  :-)  

I started reading in the book of John this morning in my Bible.  I love the book of John.  John was the beloved disciple of Jesus - but did you know he never identified his name in the book of John until the next to the last verse!  John was in the 'inner circle' of three with Jesus.  (Peter and James were the other two)  John had a very special relationship with Jesus.  Yes, Jesus loved all His disciples (and us!), but just like we connect - or love - each of our children, sometimes we have a special relationship that connects us with each one in a different way.  One may be because they are so loving and caring to us.  Another we may 'love more' because we have a lot of the same interests.  And yet, another you may love more just because..... for any reason.  I have a unique relationship with each of my children.... whether they know it or feel it - or not.  But I love each one of them .... with all my heart .... but sometimes it is differently.  And I love each one more.  And I love each one the same.  Just like you do.  It isn't about 'favorites' - although even my siblings played that game growing up ("I'm mom's favorite!")... and yet, they all knew that I was the favorite. :-)

We often say the book of John is about love.  And it is.  John loved Jesus, and he was the 'beloved disciple'.  He shows in this letter that Jesus is all about love.  Just as we should be.  Sometimes when a person chooses to follow Jesus they think they must start in Genesis and read the Bible all the way through.  That's old stuff.  Yes, it is still vital to know and I am reading through the Old Testament in the evenings.  But I love the New Testament because it is about Jesus.  The New Testament shows us how to live as a 'Jesus follower'.  The book of John teaches us how to love like Jesus loved.  I also like the book of Philippians because it encourages me to have 'Joy' in my life, regardless of my circumstances.  Sometimes I have to read it frequently as a reminder.  Paul, who wrote Philippians, was in prison when he wrote that letter to the church at Philippi - and encouraged and exhorted believers to have joy in all of their circumstances.  If they were being persecuted, be joyful, because you are a follower of Jesus.  If you have plenty, be joyful, for the Lord has provided for you abundantly.  If you are in need, be joyful, for the Lord is all you need and will be your Provider.

I can remember a time when we had nothing... to the point I had to learn to cook from scratch because if I didn't, I didn't know what we could eat.  When we grow up we are used to having hamburger, bread, etc. because our parents always supplied it.  But when you are away from them and have your own family - it's like - 'what do I do now?'  I learned how to make homemade noodles for 'chicken and noodles'.  I learned how to make many dishes - some just by experimenting, most by using a cookbook.  I learned how to make homemade tortillas... and I kid you not, even though it is much easier to just buy a package (and a lot less messy) of tortillas to put our taco food in, the taste is much better when you make your own.  I still make my own at times - but not always.  But God provided.  He put that desire in my heart to take what we had, and make it into something we could eat.

My sister has told me frequently that I am the cook of the family.  It is because I had to learn how to cook to provide food my family would eat.  I love cookbooks and love finding new recipes to try.  I have my favorites - not always hubby's favorite.  But they filled the belly.  I like bringing colors together.  It always makes it look more appealing.  For example, last night I grilled a steak and divided it between hubby and I ... then fixed green beans with it, sliced tomatoes, cut up a cucumber, and fixed some kiwi to go along with it.  So we had brown, green, red, and two other shades of green.  Ok - it was still all good.  I love to cook - especially if it is for others.

Take joy in all that you do.  Sometimes we think what we do is mundane, but if we change our perspective of it, we will find that well, maybe it isn't so bad.  Find your joy in life.

Blessings on your day!

It was too early...and yet...

 I struggled out of bed around 3:20AM this morning becaues I could sleep no longer.  Hubby was snoring and although I had been awake for awhile (I'm sure I was dozing, at least lightly) I could not get back into a deep sleep.  I tried to go back to sleep here in my room, my eyes were glued shut, but the 'dreams' that flowed in and out of my mind were weird and odd. The wind is blowing and our metal flag against the house is banging against it. (I am going to find a place to move that metal flag!)  I hear hubby get up around 4:30AM I think, and so I turn my light on.  I'm still struggling to get my eyes open.  My arms feel like they are dead weight, that they are asleep.  I finally move enough that my arms regain feeling and my eyes open.  What in the world is going on with me?!

Hubby brings my coffee in and tells me he made a pot of coffee this morning and not just the k-cup.  That means I have two cups of coffee in my cup.  One cup doesn't always last long, and this morning I obviously need that extra cup right now.  I have a feeling we may go out to breakfast this morning - and if we do so, I will have a few more cups of coffee as well!

Oh my goodness, I'm already starting to erase things I'm writing.  I hope I can finish this one today and not throw into draft mode like I did one day last week!  Three times I tried to write but nothing seemed to flow.  It was an outlet, I guess, and I didn't want to post it.

Hubby's surgery is Monday morning and he is getting anxious.  His fears were somewhat relieved yesterday as he went to the hospital to do the preliminary work and they went ahead and had him complete the paperwork he would need to fill out.  All except one paper that needs to be signed on Monday morning.  They drew 5 vials of blood and he had to do a urine sample and get an EKG too.  Interesting.  All for vascular surgery to fix a couple aneurysms.  This surgery is for the aneurysm on the left side of the abdomen and the one behind his left knee.  He said he felt relieved when he was able to talk to the people at the hospital and get all this part taken care of.   If I recall correctly, they said that the surgery will take several hours so I plan to take a couple crochet projects to work on while there.  Of course I took the day off work so that I can be there all day.  He will be staying overnight; although I plan to work the next day, I can take off to go pick him up.

I actually got some things done yesterday.  While hubby was at the hospital doing what he needed to do, I moved my sewing machine to another area in that back room (I was able to get rid of the buffet that was only collecting things in and on it) so freed up some space.  The TV stand I was able to get rid of the week before.  I am trying to let go.  And it isn't easy.  Not that I need any of what I have.  If someone wants it and I'm not using it, I'm glad to let it go.  I moved my weight bench out of this room and all the weights and this room feels and looks much better!  Still have clutter, especially here in my corner, which I need to straighten up my books and put some in the other room on the book shelves.  I will get around to it soon.  Maybe today.  Maybe.   I plan to move that one desk in the back room around and hopefully create enough space to put my treadmill in that room.  Then part of me says to just sell it and the weight bench and go to the gym that we pay for.  It's just hard for me to go with working.  By the time I'm finished for the day, I have to fix dinner and then I don't want to go anywhere.  Give me a book or my crocheting.  With having these here, I can hopefully jump on the treadmill even for ten minutes off and on throughout the day.  Hubby don't like me walking outside by myself and he doesn't always want to go.  Although we both need to.

In fact, as I turned on my back in the bed this morning - and I'm being very open here - and my butt settled into the 'dip' in the mattress, the thought occurred to me that I have allowed exactly what I always said I wouldn't allow..... I wouldn't gain weight as I aged... and yet, here I am.  Perhaps that was in the back of my mind as the jeans I was wearing yesterday were feeling pretty snug.  I am going to have to start eating better - and a lot less of it.  That pint (or two) of ice cream I ate last week are showing, I'm afraid.  Yeah, I had a couple bad days this past week.  I don't normally do that, but I did.

Today is a new day and is going to be a good day.  I am going to be positive and I am going to get some things accomplished today.  Now the question is.... where shall I begin?

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  What are you going to do with this very first day.... of the rest of your life?  Something to think about.

Blessings!