at least on the outside - right? I took a shower before starting in here. Why? Because I know I was sweating a lot last night... not a big deal, right? Except I have an appointment with an orthodontist this morning at 9:30a! Say what? At 76 years of age I am going to see an orthodontist? Whatever for? Well, with missing some teeth here and there, pulled over the years, my teeth are either turning inward, or they are turning sideways. And I find I bite my cheeks a lot more. That was why I formed the question in the first place at the dentist's office a couple weeks ago. I kept biting my cheeks whenever I ate anything (and it hurt!!) and didn't understand 'why' all of a sudden.... I mean I had the occasional bites - who doesn't - but this seemed to be consistently. Plus, I had noticed an odd 'pain' in one of the teeth on the bottom, and got to looking at it, and noticed that it was turning sideways. Say what? I'm too old for this stuff! But I was assured by the orthodontist when I called the office to schedule a consultation, that I would not be the oldest client they have. Seriously? Now granted, I have never had straight teeth in my life. Dentist visits was not on my parent's list of needed to be done things. I can only remember one visit where five of us kids (after my dad passed away) taking the bus to the dentist's office. Sammy would have been 17 and the oldest of us five that went. My little sister was only a few years old and obviously not needing a dentist at that time, but she could have come along, I don't remember. But I do remember the dentist office. Fillings were rare in those days. Problem with a tooth? It came out. With very little numbing. I lost two teeth through this guy. I remember Sammy telling me he was screaming and telling them it wasn't numb yet - and they ignored him and pulled some teeth anyway. Back then they didn't really care. Which is why I have trauma at a dentist office.
I've shared my story with most of the dentists I've seen. One would give me valium and have me sit in the office for 30 minutes - even for a cleaning. Then another would give me the 'gas' for everything. I eventually talked myself out of both. I love the dentist I have now. He often pauses and asks me if I'm ok, and tells me to raise my hand if I need him to stop for anything. I have confidence in his care of me. Of course knowing him before he because our dentist probably helps in that respect. I worked with him at MCP (he reviewed charts and claims - and in fact, still does one day a week). Anyway... he asked if I wanted to be referred to an orthodontist 'just for a consultation' of what could possibly be done to keep my teeth from turning. My cost of braces would be about $2500 I think. I don't think I'll go that route, but not sure what I will do. I will listen to the consult. They are to take all kinds of x-rays today and talk with me about possible plans of what to do. I did learn that a retainer just keeps the teeth where they are now. Braces would straighten and align what teeth I still have. Most of my uppers are crowns - I went to one dentist with one front cracked tooth - and 3 hours later she had drilled down my four front teeth (and one wonders why I have trauma) and stuck crowns on each one. Why did I need crowns on 4 teeth when only one was cracked? Anyway..... I have that appointment this morning and you all needed to know about all my trauma, right?
I finally completed my ARC - my self-evaluation of where I am in my job - for work yesterday. I submitted it, but it came to me last night that my comments of a certain department needed to be taken from me and include the board meetings with it may not be something I should have said. I'm going to try to get it returned to me this morning and maybe take that part out - or reword it. It's just the way I talk with my boss; I'm honest and direct. Brett caused me so much stress in that department I want rid of it! But then, he isn't here anymore and I don't really get that much work from that specific department. But I did ask for more responsibility for projects. I think I'm bored most of the time; as you know, some days I have absolutely nothing to do. I should keep a book at my desk (Lord knows I have plenty around me!) and read while I'm 'working'. Instead I'm looking at my phone or just doing nothing. I could take ownership of the board meetings, but I don't even understand what they are doing in the board meetings - no one has explained; it just got dumped on me. I don't understand what they are sharing, most of the time. And I don't really care to learn. Know what I mean? No one bothers to explain anymore and this last time I was really 'upset'. I pulled the deck together for a meeting and sent (twice!) a note to our financial guy and another woman who submitted slides as well, to review the deck and make sure I had everything where it was needed. And neither of them bothered to respond to either of my emails. That really has caused me to lose respect for them and I just don't want to do the board meetings anymore. And I will share that info as well, if asked.
Sue officially let her direct reports know that 'officially' it has been decided she will work through the end of August before retiring. They are working on a new job description, new title, for her job and just hadn't gotten it done. Now mind you, she told them six months ago that she was retiring 7/31/2026. Now they asked her to work through 8/31/2026. She said yes, of course, and they will be giving her a large bonus (in addition to her salary) for staying an extra month. Of course Brett gave a two week notice and left.... and he still hasn't been replaced. sigh.
I sound like I'm frustrated this morning, don't I? I think the bottom line is I am missing my social interaction with others. When I worked in the office I could go straight to someone and ask questions and get answers, get shown how to do things, and could take responsibility for things. Now I don't want to take responsibility because I don't know what they want. I'm a leader for most things, and a follower for others. But I can't be a leader if I'm not taught what is required, right? So I struggle with that. Maybe it is that I'm just tired of working. But yet, I can not see retirement in the future. Not for a long while yet. Hubby needs two crowns... both of his front teeth are cracked and need replaced. Interestingly, he says he has to go to Tempe to get something done before the crowns. I will need to get more answers for I will need to take off work to drive him to Tempe; there is no way he can go on his own.
Well, it's 7am and I need to get on the work computer. And, I'm back. I have reviewed my information in the ARC and I think I am ok with what I said. At this point, I want them to sense my frustration with getting others to work with an 'admin'. UGH I have an email from someone in 'that department' to schedule a meeting for him and outside people. I do not support him, but he is in that department so they go through the Sr Director, whom I do support, and she approves them coming to me. Why do I have to do their work? Frustrating.
Wow - what a horrible post today, isn't it? What scriptures do I need to bring to mind? I'm thinking of one real quick -
Do all things as unto the Lord. In other words, work as if I'm working for Jesus. And do the best I can, for if I'm working for Jesus, then I want to give Him the best.
So with that - I need to get this meeting scheduled so I can get ready for the orthodontist appointment. I see Sue is taking 1/2 day off. Maybe I will grab a book. LOL
Have an amazing day!
Blessings!
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