And Sunday morning, it is.....

 I've done some of my reading this morning, stopped to take a quick shower, and here I sit. I'm debating on asking hubby if he wants me to make him an egg sandwich for breakfast.  It's 'only' 8a so will wait until I finish this.  He may have already eaten by the time I get this done and stop to ask him. I don't know, but an egg and sausage sandwich just sounds good, don't you think?  Along with a second cup of coffee.

We did enjoy the growth track session on the end times yesterday.  Wow - it was a lot of information in a very short timeframe.  I learned a lot of things I did not know or was aware of.  So I've renewed my interest in reading and studying Revelation and reading books on it.  In fact, I started - and finished! - a book titled The Final Hour by Marilyn Hickey.  My little sister, if you recall from posts a while ago, is 'into' the end times and there for awhile that was all she could talk about.  She had sent me this book several months (years?) ago - and I had never read it.  Well, I read it all the way through last night - took me about 5 hours, I'd guess.  Hubby wants to read it now.  (erased my sarcastic comment that was not necessary).  I pulled a couple other books off the shelf, one I have gone through before.  Both are by Ron Rhodes.  One is 40 days through Revelation.  I read it before and learned a lot, but now that I have more information in my head, I think that I will go through it again as it has been several months since I read it.  One day at a time - and it has you read certain portions of Revelation as you go through each day.  It was interesting, if I recall, so I am looking forward to reading it again.

We saw Pastor Josh yesterday at the growth track (he is our associate pastor and we just love him!) and he told us he will be speaking this morning as Pastor John and Lindsay are on vacation for three weeks.  On a lake somewhere, I'm sure!  What is he going to speak on?  He said that based on the topic of the end times we heard, he was going to talk about what we need to do as we are now in the end times. Should be an interesting message.  We've only heard him speak a couple times, but are looking forward to it.

My youngest son took me to Buc-cees yesterday and oh my goodness!  It was difficult to find a parking space (and he has a handicap tag!) so we parked a few rows back from one of the doors.  We walked inside and it was wall-to-wall people.  My first instinct was 'let's turn around and leave!'  I don't like being in large crowds without any space.  Well, there was a little space here and there, and we made our way from one end to the other; almost a straight line in fact!  My son kept asking if I wanted to look at anything, and I kept saying 'no' cause I didn't want to deal with everyone in the way.  You know I like my space when I shop!  Besides, when I shop, I browse more than I shop, and I didn't want to keep my son in the crowd either - plus we had the great-granddaughter with us. And yes, she did behave, but she wanted this and that but we both kept saying 'no'.  My son did buy me some Buc-cee nuggets - so I shared with her on the way home.  We definitely did not do much more than in and out - probably in less than 30 minutes total!  Luckily, in the middle doors there are cash registers and one had no one in front of it so we were able to pay for the bags of nuggets and head out the door.  We were wanting to get the brisket sandwiches that people brag about, but I kid you not - that line was down to the end of the building and back up again.  Uh no.  I am not going to stand in line for an hour for a brisket sandwich. I was told that the middle of the week or the middle of the night is probably the best time to come and browse.  Well, unless there is something I really need, I don't think I need to go again.  It was interesting and I'm glad my son took me.  I will not drive there, that's for sure!  It would be a fun place to browse through and see everything - without the crowd!

Today, after church, as far as I know there is nothing on the agenda.  We both will probably settle down with a book, take a nap, and then watch NCIS.  That's our usual Sunday afternoon. LOL  Ms. Vicky will probably be calling me to come over this evening.  I still need to see Ms. Diane. Maybe I'll pause on the reading and nap and go up there.  Will see.  

I meet with Sue first thing in the morning for my 'ARC Review'.  I brought up my self-evaluation again and was going to ask HR to send it back to me so that I could delete some things.... but, I must have already deleted some of the things I had written, for I didn't see anything I needed to remove. So I just left it alone.  Sue and I will go over it, and she will either put 'meets expectations' or 'exceeds expectations' - which 99.9% she puts exceeds.  I need to buckle down and learn more about powerpoint and a few other programs that are used. Not that I want to, but I think I will be working at least two more years, Lord willing and my health and mind survive.

Why would I work two more years?  At the orthodontist office they told me that Cigna pays their $2500 in payments, a little each month - over two years.  And, if I leave work (i.e., retire or quit), they quit paying and I would be responsible for the balance.  Sounds logical.  So - I've got to keep my mind active and my body active and healthy and keep working. Only way to keep my sanity at times anyway, right?

Galatians 1:10 (NIV):  Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

What does that scripture say to you?  Have you ever been all dressed up and walked into a room, only to feel very awkward and out of place?  I know I have.  I want to turn around and leave when that happens. It's happened to me at work, it's happened to me even at church.  Why?  Because I sometimes feel like I'm 'not good enough' or get the 'what are you doing here? who do you think you are?' feelings when around certain people who are more confident than I am.  I know I am good enough, and I know who (and Whose) I am, but sometimes, my insecurities get in the way.  Does that happen to you?  Do you ever step in a room and feel so totally out of place that you want to leave?  What do you do?

Galatians 1:10 reminds us why this is important.  Are we trying to win the approval of the people in the crowd by the way we look, the way we dress, the way we carry ourselves?  Or are we wanting to please God and be His example to this hurting world?  If we are still trying to please people, we are not God's servants, for people have become our focus.  If we want to be the kind of people God can use anywhere at any time, we must get good at saying no to that resistance inside of us that is called awkwardness.

So how do we learn to do this? We might think we just need to become more confident. But it really does go deeper than that.  It's not really a matter of gaining more confidence.  It's a matter of being more certain of our convictions.  Confidence is being certain of our abilities. Conviction is being certain of God's instructions - a firm, foundational belief. 

When we have have God's confidence in us, we can walk into a crowded room and feel right at home. We are where He wants us.  We are His people, His light in this dark world.  

Matthew 5:13 (NIV):  You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

You make a difference.  Sometimes just by being there, you have encouraged someone who may be struggling.  And most times, it's not about you, and what you are feeling.  It's about those around you, who may just need you to sit with them.  Be bold. Be confident. You are God's servant.  

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!