I did get up from here yesterday and fixed scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast. I usually fix a fried potato/egg/peppers mixture, and hubby commented on where are the potatoes and peppers?! Just scrambled eggs and toast - that's it. Anyway - we ate it and I left him with the dishes (after I washed my electric skillet; he isn't 'allowed' to wash my appliances.... long story). I went straight to my closet and took a deep breath - and dived in! I have a large bag full of t-shirts, a pair of jean and a couple knit pants to take to my daughter-in-law for her work - if she wants them. If she doesn't, then they are ready for Savers. I straightened up the top shelves, put my shoes all together, and well, although the closet still looks 'full', it is at least straightened and clean. Major accomplishment.
I then worked on the envelopes for work, addressing and stuffing some. Need to spend some more time on those today as I want to make sure all are done by Tuesday evening. Only spent perhaps an hour then decided to go to the store to pick up stewed tomatoes for salsa. Of course I picked up a few other things while I was there. I always do.
Yes, I needed to make salsa. A grandson's birthday is Wednesday and he sent his jar with his dad last week - and he knows if he returns his jar, I'll refill it. It's been a long while since I made salsa so I ended up making 3 batches. You know I have to make sure that hubby has his own jar. And, it so happened that while I was in the kitchen, I kept hearing a noise and I wasn't sure what it was - so went over to the air conditioner in the back room - which we have never used and it is unplugged - and it was making noises! Water was dripping from the bottom. What in the world?? I looked outside and the sprinkler, which is right next to the patio, had turned and was spraying (on the outside) on the air conditioner and the house - that was the noise I was hearing. But it was somehow seeping into the air conditioner and dripping onto the carpet. I (with some difficulty, I might add) got hubby up from his chair and tried to show him what was happening. I'm outside, trying to put something in front of the air conditioner to keep it from going inside - and he is trying to take it from me and see what is going on - when the sprinkler is right in front of him and he can see where it is hitting! I admit, I lost my patience and expressed my frustration at him. I finally got him to see moving that block I had put up wasn't doing anything - LOOK AT THE STUPID SPRINKLER AND WHERE IT IS HITTING AGAINST THE HOUSE AND NOT IN THE YARD!! UGH!! I stormed off, cause I knew I was going to say some things I shouldn't say. He finally understood what I was saying and came in and called the man behind us as he is on the Board and is in charge of working with the landscapers. He immediately came over and saw what it was doing, got his tools and fixed it, and said he would keep an eye on it to make sure it didn't turn again. In gratefulness, I handed him a pint of my salsa and he was excited. Curious on what he will say about it. Anyway, the sprinkler is fixed. I am usually the one who hears the sprinklers doing things they shouldn't do - whether in the front (while I'm in this room) or in the back. Lucky I do.
I cooked some leftovers for dinner and then went in to the front room to read.... which was a mistake... 'do you want to watch a movie?' That almost nightly question. I told him if he wanted to watch a movie (he had watched a movie while I was gone - although he was asleep when I came home with the TV going)... but I really didn't want to. He was frustrated I didn't want to watch a movie - but get over it bucko.... I wanted to read. So I did read. Then I took a shower. Then I read some more. Then headed to bed about our usual time. Yes, I can crochet while we are watching a movie... but not only do I have to agree to a movie, he makes me choose the movie. Maybe I need to pick ones like The Lake House - which I like but he does not. Maybe then he would quit asking me to choose. That annoys me most of the time. I don't care whether we watch a movie or not. If the movie is on, I crochet or knit. If it is off, I can read. If it is a game or something he wants to watch - no problem, I put my headset on and listen to an audio book - or in rare times, I may watch a movie I like. Lord help me get through this life without so much frustration!!
We did run the salsa over to my youngest son's so that he could take it to his son as he will be heading up there tonight to return his grandson. We visited for a little bit yesterday and got to see two of the grandchildren. Hubby was with me. When I commented who all would be there.... he said it's ok, I have changed from what I was.... and I admit he was very nice. My son had a series on called Homicide Hunter - and I admit, that got my attention more than sitting and talking. I let hubby do the talking and asking questions (mainly because my son calls me frequently so I'm aware of what is going on - and don't always share the information cause I don't want to deal with questions).
We will be heading to church in a few hours - since we go to the 12PM service. I like having my mornings at home.... but 12PM does cut in to the afternoon. Not that we have a life or anything. I will need to work on the envelopes for a little bit, then probably will need to head over to visit Ms Vicky. She will be calling me if I don't, I'm sure, asking me to come visit. I still haven't been over to see Ms. Diane. Perhaps I should do that today after church. So much I should do, some I need to do, and most I want to be left alone with a good book! Right?
Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
I started reading a book by Craig Groeschel titled Dangerous Prayers and it has intrigued me. I finished the first section last night, and will at least get through the second section today, and maybe even the third and last section. I think (If I can remember) I will share different parts of this in my blog here... perhaps it will give you pause as well.
Search me. What if we paused and asked God to 'search us', that He would see into our hearts and minds those things that we believe are hidden from everyone. What would He find? As I thought about that in me as I got to the end of that section, I remembered things I had hidden, or thought was hidden. Anger. Bitterness. Frustration. Things we don't say but hold within to keep peace. You know what I am talking about! I've even been thinking about it this morning. Search me, God, and know my heart.... He already knows all, what makes me think that I can withhold from Him any thought?!
Search my heart, God. How often do we 'pretend' and show people what we want them to see? Our words can honor God, but our thoughts and our hearts can be far from Him.
Know my anxious thoughts. I'm scared to death of being lazy and not completing the tasks I want to do. I get insecure when I am around people who are successful. What if they think I'm stupid? What if I can't carry on a conversation? I don't have a college degree; will they hold that against me?
See if there is any offensive way in me. So many times I seek approval from people, rather than accepting my approval from God. I grade myself on my words and actions around others, rather than living only for God and letting Him guide me. If my words and actions are pleasing to Him, others opinions of me does not matter. My life, my desire, is to be a reflection of Him.
Lead me. And this is where life gets real. I can ask God to lead me on the path that He has for me... but what if I allow distractions to pull me away? I want to keep my eyes on Jesus, for He alone is the author and perfector of my faith. I want God to lead me in the right path, and I ask Him frequently to keep me on the right path. But ultimately, that choice is mine.
I've shared some things here many do not know about me. But I want you to understand that when you ask God to search you, bring out your anxious thoughts that you thought was just nervousness, check out anything in you that is offensive, and to lead you.....it is serious business. It is a dangerous prayer.
Do you dare to ask God to 'Search me'? Are you willing to take the risk and ask? If I don't forget, I may follow up on this tomorrow.
Blessings!
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