No dinner out with friends last night because her back was hurting too bad. I honestly cannot even imagine having to constantly deal with back pain. I'm not putting anyone 'out' - I know a few people who do have constant back pain, and I don't know how they get through it day after day. I can handle a lot of pain, but constantly? I don't know that I could. Anyway, she text'd and cancelled yesterday morning so we moved it out to next Monday, to give her time to get better. At least pain managed. People who have had back pain for years know what they have to do to get relief.
We didn't go visit our friend either. I called his wife twice last night and both times it went to voicemail. I decided we could skip last night - and I will try for tonight, if he is up to having visitors.
I do have an eye doctor appointment today with an eye specialist. I used to go to him every year and have for over 20 years. Hubby still does. But I haven't been for a few years - and now he has an office up in 'our area' rather than downtown, so I scheduled it. I hope his equipment is here and he doesn't tell me I have to go downtown to get all that testing done! I just want to talk to him about my eyes constantly burning, and how watery they are in the mornings when I'm trying to read. I'm sure the computer staring dries them out - and I use the Refresh or whatever they are call drops - but they don't always seem to help, so I use them less and less. This specialist did my cataract surgery so I like going to him; and like I mentioned, been going to him for 20 years or more. No need to change. Our vision place is good to get our glasses in the past, but it looks like his new location here is also in a vision place so next year I can go there and get my glasses. You needed to know all that, didn't you?
So since we stayed home last night, I cooked dinner and we ate at home, and then just read - after hubby turned off the game. I love quiet evenings. I enjoy going out for dinner, don't get me wrong, but I do enjoy evenings when I can be lazy, curl up on the couch and read.
I didn't sleep well again last night. What is this waking up at 2:30AM and then tossing and turning? I am pretty sure I did some dozing from 2:30AM - 4:30AM when I got up - but still. I need deep sleep; not dozing! My mind was all over the place and wouldn't shut off. A lot of talking to God, for sure, but my thoughts were running here and there. Ok, enough of this rambling.....
Matthew 7:13-14 - "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
Have you ever paused to think about which 'gate' you are walking through? Is it the wide gate of destruction that the world is drawing you through, or is it the narrow gate that leads to goodness and life and Jesus?
It's so easy to 'go with the flow', right? (we do it when we are driving, right?) But sometimes 'going with the flow' leads us in the wrong direction. We think to ourselves 'we don't want to cause waves, we don't want attention drawn to us, we don't want to stand out from the crowd and disagree with what is happening.....' so we just let things happen and just keep walking with everyone.
Think of it as being in a store and they have a 'blue light special' and everyone is rushing to get it - and you find yourself rushing over there as well...... only you don't need what is being offered; you can't afford it; you don't even want it... yet, there you are. You grab it, you buy it, and then when you get home, you wonder 'why'?. Probably not a good example. But do you get the gist of what I mean?
Everyone else is doing it, so why can't I? How many times did we say that growing up? Well, perhaps not all of us (I certainly didn't dare!) . But that question takes us to another scripture:
Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
Do we want to conform, or transform? That choice is yours. If I want to be sold out to God, I need to act like it. I have to break away from the 'everybody does it' crowd. I need to be His, not everybody else's.
I don't like being yelled at, so I need to be sure I speak with a soft voice. I've mentioned that before. It wasn't so much that I yelled (I don't think), but I have learned that when speaking with a child especially, getting down to their level and speaking softly to them makes a greater impact than yelling at them constantly with things I think they should do. Does that make sense? If you yell at them constantly, they will do that to their own children. My beloved daughter in law taught me that getting down and speaking softly is how to make the impact you want. I may slip up, but I try. Yelling to where everyone around you hears what you are saying doesn't make the impact that speaking softly does, right? No, I'm not pointing fingers. I'm growing up in Jesus.
Let's choose (after all, it is our choice) to be TRANSFORMED by God, than to be conformed to this world. This world has nothing to offer us but pain and destruction. Some of you know that as you have grown older and look back over your life. I have a lot of pain concerning my 'conforming' years. I praise God that He rescued me and turned me around so that I can be transformed into His image, and walk through that narrow gate. I pray that you will join me there.
Blessings!
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