I've heard from all but one of my children this morning to wish me a happy mother's day. I never think I am hard to buy for, (just read my son's blog) and I'm not talking about just mother's day.... the kids often mention they have no idea what to get me for anything. And, you know what, that's ok. I just need to know they love me, and acknowledge me. Anything else is icing on the cake. And most mothers will tell you the same thing. Don't overlook me just because I'm your mother, and I'd understand.... I guess I am 'hard' to buy for since I don't need anything - but that is a good thing, right? If I was 'needy', then they would feel they 'had' to get it for me. Or am I just overthinking this?
I've heard from my adopted daughter in Georgia already this morning as well as a few coworkers and other friends. Surprised to receive something from some; haven't talked to them in ages. But I still was glad to hear from them. I do hope my daughter and daughters in law get treated special by their families.
We didn't get to visit our friend in the hospital yesterday as his wife said that he had had a restless night. I'm hoping that later this afternoon we may be able to go up and see him. Or we may go right after church. Sometimes it is easier to just go when we are still 'dressed up' - cause once I get home, I'm in shorts and barefoot, as a rule!
The class yesterday at church was 'ok'.... I felt she was more 'all over the place', but hubby said he learned some things. Not to say I didn't, but I felt it wasn't quite as organized as I thought it should be. It would have been nice had she had handouts, but she didn't, so we just sat and listened. Afterwards was pretty cool though, for I had a chance to tag on to this class and talk to Pastor Josh about Discipleship. I surprised myself - and probably hubby as well - when I responded to something hubby had said. As I talked to Pastor Josh (with hubby right there, of course), and told him with I had learned from Discipleship many years ago and how it helped me to grow in my faith, and in my life, hubby inserts "Maybe we can co-lead together". I blurted out "No, we have different styles of teaching, and if you want to teach a class, you have to get your own!" and then I continued my conversation with Pastor Josh. I didn't dare look at hubby's face!)He asked me to bring a book in today for them to look at.
So now I am thinking if I'm ready to go back in to teaching. I think I am. When would be a good question. Plus, I'd want it to be at the church. And I already told Pastor Josh it needed to be limited to 12 or less. (If less than 8, I can have it at home) I can't 'teach' with hubby.... our styles truly are different. And, if he decides he wants to do it as well.... I will need to remind him that he often says he can't go to another class because he has Thursday nights with hi s friend (was Tuesday but they changed to Thursday), and Friday mornings for his bible study. He always has an excuse to drop out of something if he doesn't want to do it. But for me, I want to dive deeper in the Word of God, and if I teach, it forces me to review, to read, to understand, to research - and I love it. As I dive into God's Word, it changes me. And He knows I do need changing in a lot of areas!!
So this morning I will take to Pastor Josh the Discipleship series, and a few workbooks of other classes I have taught. If he lets me teach - great! If not - it's ok. Hubby keeps my evenings full most of the time anyway. But teaching will allow me to do what God has called me to do. As you know, I feel that hubby has restricted me in a lot of ways, in a lot of areas, when it comes to teaching and preaching. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope I am. It just always feel that he has to be 'lead' or the 'first' to do something. And I get it. He has felt rejected by my children - and me at times, I admit - and his children have rejected him, so he feels that he has to fight to be of value to anyone. I get it. I fight to live. Enough of that.
I think about my mama this morning. She has been gone 22 years thereabout. She wasn't perfect, by any means. But she was my mama and I loved her. I love her still. I will always love her. I have good memories, and some bad memories. I imagine my children can say the same. Or at least I hope they can have good memories as well. I'm definitely not perfect and I've messed up a lot. Thankful for God's forgiveness.
John 4:34 "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work."
There is physical food, and there is spiritual food. The spiritual food is what Jesus was referring to in this scripture. You can find it in the story of the Samaritan woman. Remember her? Now food may not be your area of struggle (real food is a real struggle of mine!), we all have things in our lives that we are tempted to turn to instead of Jesus to fill the aching places in our souls. Think about this -
Food can fill our stomachs but never our souls. Possessions can fill our houses but never our hearts. Children can fil our days but never our identities.
Jesus is the only One who can fill us and truly satisfy us. Only being filled by Jesus can we be truly satisfied. Breaking free from whatever consumes us, brings us to be more available to Jesus.
Happy Mother's Day to the beautiful women out there who are mothers, and abundant blessings to those who wanted to be moms, and have not been. Love all the little ones; they all can benefit from it - whether you are their mom or not.
Blessings!
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