Yesterday was very quiet on the work front. I actually was bored somewhat, and no, I still didn't pause to type out the minutes. Still on my list to get done. Perhaps today. I should; wouldn't take me 15 minutes to get them done - but I just haven't. Procrastinator prize, right? I don't like that about myself; but I do it often.
My daughter called last night - after all, she says, it is Tuesday night. I think she may be feeling somewhat guilty with moving away - or not. Hubby didn't go last night. His friend he meets on Tuesday nights - it was his wedding anniversary and he and his wife were going out to dinner. So hubby was home. I skimmed through a casserole cookbook and found one with chicken thighs and rice - and baked it for dinner. Not bad. Will finish it off probably today either for lunch or dinner. I had a lot of chicken thighs in that package so for one of the meals will need to cook those up. May be put in the air fryer - it always makes them so crisp. I should learn how to use my grill. One of these days, perhaps.
I did call my little brother yesterday - he is still in the hospital. The pain he had is lessened, but was having other issues. My little sister called yesterday as well. She asked me 'what is wrong? You don't sound right." It's like NOW, what did I do? I think I know what it is - and for my part, it goes back to the obit, I am sure. She's trying to act like all is well - but she wasn't the one rejected. I'm fine. It's just like someone cut you and thought nothing about it. But - leaving me and my brothers out is one thing; leaving our mother out is another. Troubling. But I'm over it.
Hubby has signed up for a six week's men's bible study with the church - I thought it started last night - but it starts next Tuesday. His friend and he have switched to Thursday nights for that time frame. Which means I will have Tuesday night AND Thursday nights alone. Am I jumping for joy? They are having a women's bible study on Wednesday nights for six weeks - he is pushing me to go - but I looked up what they are studying and I am not interested in it. Not that I couldn't learn something; I just don't want to go. But then, it would be an evening away and I could meet others. But I just don't want to go. I am finding myself withdrawing again. Not sure what is going on. Extreme mental exhaustion? Depression? Perhaps a little bit of both.
I really don't have much to write about today - aren't you happy about that? I don't have a life to speak of anymore, it seems. I started a book on Solitude and Quietness - which I love, of course. I've read it before, but I feel a need for it once again. It's a small book, so should be able to read it within two weeks, I would think. I have so many books that I'm reading through right now - I should just focus on one and get it done! Reading a couple on my kindle as well.
I snapped at hubby last night. I can't remember exactly what it was - but he was acting like he was scared to death of me, of what I might say - I've noticed that lately. Finally I snapped at him and told him to quit cowering - if he has something to say - say it! Of course that made him angry. Everything I say = well, a lot of what I say - makes him angry. And vice versa. Sigh. And he wonders why I'm so quiet - I just don't want a disagreement about anything.
Romans 8:38-39 (NIV): For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, neither height nor depth, not anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
So grateful that moods, attitudes, etc. cannot separate us from the love of God. He loves us in spite of who we are, of the things we say and do. That's why He sent His Son to die for us. He loves us that much.
Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. Usually we fast during this time - just because we want to. But, for some reason, I'm not really in to fasting at this time. And I've learned that if I don't feel led to fast, it isn't going to mean anything. I thought about giving up chocolates and desserts - but if I'm not feeling led to - why do it? I need to get my mind straightened out, rested, and refreshed. How do I do that? I'm not sure anymore. Getting away alone is next to impossible. Not even going to go there.
Lord, please help me find my space to be alone with You. Mornings are nice, but I want to get so much done in that little time I have alone with you. I want to get away to where I can just sit with you, perhaps with a journal and pen, and not talk, not look around, not do anything, but sit at Your feet. I need to find my 'place'. And I will, eventually.
There is a time for solitude and silence. Have you found it yet? Take some time to just sit back and be quiet. Listen for His voice. We can hear Him if our thoughts are all over the place. Quiet your mind. Close your eyes. Turn your heart and mind to Jesus, and let Him fill you; speak with you. It will make your day. Promise.
And I have a few minutes left - so off here I go - and will shut things down and try to be quiet myself. A very good way to start my day.
Blessings!
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