maybe. Why? Because I was awake in the middle of the night and could not go back to sleep. I prayed for my boys (especially), I prayed for grandchildren. I prayed for hubby, I prayed for whatever came to my mind - even my grandson-in-law in another country!! I repeated the 23rd Psalm in my mind. I don't know how long it took, but I finally fell back to sleep. When the alarm went off, I turned it off. Slept another half hour until I heard hubby up. I struggled in here and snuggled under my blanket. Hubby brings in my coffee..... and I went back to sleep - and I'm thinking it may have been for 1.5 hours!! At least an hour. I could have slept longer, but knew I needed to do my routine - or at least get most of it done. I have only a few minutes before I need to get on the work computer. Not that any one would notice whether I was online or not - oh wait - I didn't shut down my computer last night, just closed it. It 'appears' I am 'away' from my computer. But I still need to get awake completely and dressed.
Yesterday started off busy with work - but then work kind of faded out.... I mean, I still had some things to do, but nothing pressing, and meetings to scheduled came far apart. It was interesting. Not sure what today will bring. Tomorrow I have my favorite thing to do - minutes for the board meeting. NOT. Plus I have to share my screen and do the slides for tomorrow. I don't want to do any of it. I don't even want to attend!! But, it is part of my job. I even took to writing down yesterday what expenses I knew we had to get a rough estimate on what we could live on. Yeah, wishing/thinking about retirement. (erase, erase. sigh).
As I worked out last night our trainer was telling me about hubby having balance issues. Hubby would be furious if he knew I knew! But, our trainer says that he watches over hubby while he is there, and even in walking, he will sway some, and hubby has admitted it to him as well. When he does bicep curls, he always has to stand up against the wall to keep his balance. And, if he does any floor exercises, our trainer has to hold him in a bear grip for several seconds until he can get balanced. He is very strong, and does the exercises, but his age is catching up to him and is throwing him off balance. I know he has a doctor's appointment next month, and I will beg him to tell the doctor about the balance issues. It's not that he can't walk, but he will fall if he can't control it. It could even be his medication that is throwing him off balance. And I won't go in to his mind issues. I know he is afraid of the future; I would be too. He is 'involved' with his Bible study groups and his lunches with friends... I work and cannot drive him... he doesn't want to give up his ability to meet them - although he is talking about dropping out of the Tuesday morning study... he's starting to find fault with it, which is interesting as he was so gung ho at first. He doesn't plan to go back in the fall. I know he wants to meet his friends (and drive) and at least they meet fairly close here to home as a rule. I am afraid. And that's the truth.
I don't know what the future is going to hold for him, for us. But I do know Who holds the future, and I have to seek Him to help us through each day. It is all I can do. Lord, Help!
I did finally get his phone corrected so he could talk with his brother. He first forgot the 1 in front of the area code.... then he complained his text messages weren't going through still... so he then asks 'do I need to have the area code after the 1 so that it will go through?' sigh. I first text'd my brother in law from my phone to make sure it was the right telephone number, as he had gotten a new phone. He called me on their home phone to tell me it was. I updated him on hubby's issues with his phone (and he, being ten years younger, is having issues with his phone as well)... anyway, after I hung up, I had hubby call him off his phone, so that the connection could finally be made. Mission accomplished. Hubby will be 87 in April; his brother will turn 77 in April. Lord, help me! I will be 75 this year. Please don't let me get that way.
And I have rambled on so and must jump off and get on the work computer and get started on my day. Even though I work from home, I am very conscious about making sure I get all my time in that I am supposed to. Did want to update family that reads this of issues.... most notice it when they are around us (for both of us)... for we are not aware of what we do sometimes. I just keep trusting that God will make a way where there seems to be no way. Lord, Help!
Blessings!
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