A, B, C, D, E, F......

I love the story about the grandfather who walked by his granddaughter's bedroom one night and overheard her praying the alphabet, literally.   "Dear God, a, b, c, d, e, f, g..."  she prayed all the way to 'z' and said, "Amen".

The grandfather said, "Sweetie, why were you praying that way?"  The granddaughter replied, "I didn't know what to say so I figured I'd let God put the letters together however He saw fit".

Have you ever been in that type of circumstance?  Life is so screwed up; the bills are so high; relationships are shaky at best; and you don't know where to turn.  Eventually you think that maybe if you prayed, that God would answer and solve all your problems.  Unfortunately, prayer doesn't work that way.  For example,

1 Peter 3:7

"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

 

I bet most husbands don't realize that their most worthy prayer is of no value if they do not treat their wives with respect.  I imagine that is the same with wives as well, although it isn't in the Bible.  The culture when the Bible was written was that women were of very little, if any, value.  However, Jesus changed all that.  He placed a high value on women and as Peter, a great disciple, wrote in I Peter 3, husbands need to be considerate with their wives.  They need to treat them with respect.  Why?  If they can't do it because they love them, then do it because they want God to hear, and to answer, their prayers.

 

But back to the the story above, I seem to have a lot of those days, especially lately.  How about you?  I can start to pray for specific things and I just want to sit there and go ""a, b, c, d, e, f, g, - and God, would You please put all the letters together because I don't know how to ask for this issue and I need help in this one and will You...."

 

Romans 8:26

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

 

Some days that is what I feel.  I can't express my hurt over things; I can't share my heart on others, I can't open it all up because all I could do is cry.  I don't want to be comforted; I want to get my hurt out.  That is where I am at today.  During a couple parts of the service today my heart hurt.  No, it wasn't a physical pain, and yet it was.  It was the pain of longing, of being deprived, of dreams crushed, of loneliness, of emptiness, of hope dashed.  The tears fell, and I could not stop them. 

 

People don't understand.  There are some things you can't share because you don't want to hurt others for their for their lack of understanding.  You don't want to draw attention to what you feel when you want something so much and it is not within your grasp.  You don't want to cry, but your heart overflows with the pain within.

 

Sometimes the tears are just release.  Sometimes tears are a cleansing.  It's ok to cry.  Crying sometimes refreshes you.  It helps you feel better. Sometimes.  Sometimes, 'it is just what it is' and you deal with it.

 

The tears could have been I have really been missing my friend this week; she has been on my mind a lot.  It could be for our circumstances and that I know I am part of the reason it is the way it is, and I'm not sorry about it.   It could be that I have so much pain bottled up inside of me that I can't share, pain of rejection, of grief, of failure, of condemnation, and so much more, that I can not verbalize it.  Nearly 64 years can contain a lot of pain.  Even forgotten pain, can be triggered by even a word, and you don't even realize it.  And, real or imagined, pain is pain.

 

Romans 8:1

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

 

I'm grateful that God doesn't condemn me when I fail; He doesn't shut the door in my face when I come knocking.  He doesn't turn me away because He doesn't agree with me.  He doesn't put me down when I don't do things His way.  He loves me unconditionally, and waits for me to draw near to Him.  He never leaves me, nor does He forsake me.  Never. Ever.

 

Prayer isn't about outlining our agenda to God for Him to answer.  Prayer isn't telling God what you want Him to do for you.  Prayer is about getting into God's presence and getting God's agenda for us.  What does He want?

 

In the meantime, my prayers are, "Dear God,  a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z.   Amen."

 

Blessings!