"What are you going to do, God?"

Ever since a friend this summer stated that phrase to me in response to what she does when things come tumbling down, I find that I use it a lot.  A lot.

When I've prayed about something, even for a long time, and intently, I seem to always end up with "what are you going to do, God"? when I finish.   I can ask for directions, I can seek His wisdom and strength for whatever is before me, but when it is all said and done, I'm down to the "what are you going to do, God"? moment.

The great part is, I don't know what He IS going to do.  I don't know if He will answer my prayer.  I don't know if He will surprise me and give me more than I ask.  I don't know if He will choose to surprise me and do something supernatural and special.  Just for me.  I don't know.

But one thing I do know, and this I believe, that my God loves me more than anything and will give me all that I need, and some that I desire, but He will do it in His timing and in His own perfection of the moment in time.

Sometimes that is hard to swallow, especially when one is struggling financially, feeling out of sorts with sickness, grieving over the death of a loved one, praying for specific people and specific things.  We want His answers, yes, but we want them NOW.  I want an immediate response to my question of will He do this or that - right NOW!

God doesn't operate that way.  Well, I guess that really isn't a true statement.  Sometimes He does.  Every morning Tom prays over me before I leave for work.  And I pray after I am in the vehicle and starting down the road.  Not only do I pray for travel mercies, that my lane I need to move to will be easily accessible, but that my vehicle will not break down, the tires will remain full of air, the gas will slowly be used.  I pray for all these little things.  Why?  Because God wants to know every detail that concerns me.  He knows I dislike very much driving on I-10 in the morning - and especially in the evening - traffic.  People sometimes drive like they have never learned to drive a car and are just starting out.  They don't use their brains wisely.  I'm trying to be nice.

Because we pray, I am confident that the accidents that happen before me or immediate after are results of our prayers.  A few moments earlier and I could have possibly been involved.  So what if I have to inch along for a little while, my vehicle is not damaged and I am not hurt.  As I drive by the accidents, I always thank God to see people moving around their vehicles and not crushed inside.  God watches over me, I know, because Tom and I both have asked Him to.

So God does answer in immediate time sometimes.  Sometimes, when we pray for others to be healed, He chooses to let them pass away.  I can only think of my own grief during this time, yet I know that His plans for those affected by that person are far greater than I could ever think of.  I need to look beyond myself, my own pain and grief.   Sometimes God does allow car breakdowns, accidents, even when we pray.  Why?  Who knows - divine encounters?  My reaction to what is ahead of me is an example of others - and they feed off of what I react to.

So back to my title, "What are you going to do, God"?  - lately I have been saying this a lot.  Yeah, I think I have already mentioned that.   I've laid our situation out in prayer, I've stated my concerns, I've made my requests.  There is nothing more I can do.  Nothing.  If God doesn't act in response to my prayers, I won't have an answer.  And yet, sometimes that alone is His answer.

Sometimes His 'no answer' is my answer.  He wants me to work it out on my own.  He wants me to think it through and see what is best.  Of course I ask Him before doing anything, but if He wanted to, He could just take care of it supernaturally and I wouldn't have any issue.

We really got 'screwed' this last year by the agency we went with for my personal insurance.  I would have opted not to get it, but we got it should it be needed.  We were paying pretty good for it too, each month.  We were told, if we would go with this company, my routine 'well checkup' would be 100% covered.  That's all we concern ourselves with.  I rarely go to the doctor for anything else.  The first sign something wasn't right - we got a bill from the doctor for over $400 for my well check up.  The insurance said it was a routine visit and not covered. (Hello?  what happened to well checkup?)  We just finished paying it off, I think.  Then the lab bill came.  $423, I think.  And the mammogram was another $303.  The insurance company, bless their hearts, have refused to pay for any of my well checkup by saying they don't cover routine visits; they would only pay if I had gotten sick and had to visit the doctor.   For a doctor visit, lab work, etc. that I did not even need to get, has cost us over $1000.  We still have the two bills to pay and are hoping we can negotiate with the lab and with the imaging place that they will give us a discount on the bill, as we believed we had insurance at the time.  So I've prayed that God would supernaturally bless us financially to help us pay those bills.

Today we found out that my van needs about $500 work done on it - $400 within the next couple weeks and then another $112 within 3 months.  With the transmission issues (the big one) we obviously need to get it done asap.  I guess this is why we have charge cards - we set the appointment up for next Saturday to get both done.  With driving on the freeway like I do, I can not take a chance on the transmission breaking down or the serpentine belt breaking.  The van is a 2004 so some things will happen.  Right now is just not the right timing for anything breaking or coming apart.  So I have prayed that God would supernaturally bless us so that we can get these things resolved.

Will He?  I don't know.  I need to continue to look for ways we can take care of everything because that is what we are supposed to do.  I will continue to pray that God will show us what we need to do.  He just might choose to have an old will of a rich aunt found and I will be the sole heir.  Right. :-)  Hey - I never rule anything my God can and/or will do!

So I'm asking God, "What are you going to do"? in these situations and others.  I am totally dependent upon what He is going to do.  He can choose to erase this situation, remove the problem, provide for the need - He can do all that - or He can do nothing.  But I'm asking, "What are you going to do, God"?

What are you asking God for?  Are you struggling and wondering where He is leading you in all of your life? Do you feel like every time you turn around something is going wrong?  Do you feel like every choice you make is the wrong one?    Maybe it is time to just sit down and tell God what you think and what you feel, and ask for His direction and guidance for your need.  Listen.  Then act on what He tells you.  You will know if it is you telling yourself, or if it is God providing an answer.  You just know.  And if you can't figure it all out, just ask Him...

"What are you going to do, God"?   and sit back and see His hand at work.

Blessings!