Yes, it is Monday morning all over again! It seems to come every week - sometimes more forceful than others! Today hasn't been too bad. Thus far, anyway. Of course 45 minutes yet before the work day begins - but here I am, ready to get busy. I was totally caught up when I left on Friday; sure do hope I get some work early this morning so that I don't get bored.
We had a nice weekend. This weekend we decided on a 'dog break'. For those of you with dogs that are 100% high maintenance, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Actually, Marley doesn't bother me as much as she does Tom. And with that I constantly remind him I wanted a smaller dog which would not be as much trouble as Marley is. But with that aside, I told him that he could have a break - and although we didn't do all that I had suggested, we did put Marley in a Petshotel at PetSmart two days and one night. I hope that was a nice break for my hubby. We also had them do a 'doggy camp' with Marley, which puts her with other dogs to play with. She also got a 'spa treatment' in which she got a nice bath and her nails clipped. I'm sure she enjoyed this bath much more than the ones she gets at home - hubby does lose his patience with her. She does enjoy her baths. It was sort of funny last night. When we got her back home, she walked around to see if anything was different, then sprawled out on the living room carpet. She laid there for about an hour, then went over to her bed, on which she sprawls out so funny. Her body is all over the bed, but her head lays on the floor. She stayed in that position until we went to bed, which was really early for us - about 8PM.
Yeah, we were kind of tired too. Yesterday afternoon we did a 5.78 mile walk around the canal. I need to get my stamina built up for the 13.1 mini marathon I plan to do on May 4th in Indiana. I just remembered my brother had given me a 13.1 mile sticker for my van last year - and I started to put it on my van one day- and never did - and now I don't remember what I did with it. I'll have to look around for it. I don't usually put stickers on my van, but 13.1 miles is an accomplishment that I am proud of.
I thought about my journaling this morning. I stopped for awhile, then found myself starting to put things in it again. I read about things someone put in their journals, and I thought of how I ramble on in mine (sorta like this blog) and am usually focused more on me than I am on others. I struggle so much in my own life about my attitude, emotions, etc that it seems to consume me at times. I'm always asking God to forgive me and to help me be a better person. I'm sure He keeps trying, and I keep doing things my way. I long for greater intimacy with Him, greater obedience, total surrender. I pray all that, and life gets in my way. There is so much I want to do - but find myself unable to do for various reasons. Then I think, well, if God wants me to do that, wouldn't He change people to allow me to do what I need to do? Sometimes I feel so helpless and smothered, unable to branch out and be what I feel God has called me to be. And a bit of me dies inside every time I dwell on it. But life does go on.
Remember in Exodus, I think it is, where Moses tells God "If You don't go with me, I will not go...." (paraphrased of course). I think it is in Exodus, but don't have time to find the exact scripture I am thinking of. That's where I am. If God will not walk with me, I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to go anywhere He doesn't go with me. I want my life in tuned with His, I want to hear Him say 'go this way', and that way I will go. Unfortunately, I sometimes ignore His still voice, or worse yet, forget to ask Him, and go off on my own. How I long to walk intimately with Him always. Perhaps someday, I will reach my goal.
I've read of many great women who had such a relationship with God. Corrie Ten Boom would sit in her chair and have a conversation with God like He was sitting right beside her. Von Bright could stand in line at a grocery store and people near her would ask her what she had for they wanted it - the spirit of God was so alive in her others were drawn. It reminds me of some other things - but topics for another day. I need to get off this blog and get signed in and get ready to work.
I pray that today you will have peace and joy. I pray that you will take some time to process where you are in life, what dreams have fallen by the wayside, what dreams you are living, and what you can do to make a difference. I don't want to stay where I am right now, physically, mentally, or emotionally. I want to change, to grow. I pray that for you as well, that you will feel the spirit of God within you so greatly that you find yourself drawn to the Master, and will 'want what He has to give'.
Blessings!
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