Ok, I admit I've been sleeping in a bit later than normal. Partly because I can't always go right to sleep, although sometimes I do, and partly because of Marley waking me up in the middle of the night, although sometimes she does, and partly because I wake up singing, which I sometimes do, and partly because I have had enough sleep, which I sometimes have. My excuse today is that although I went to bed a little after 10PM, I could not get to sleep. My mind was awake. Could only attribute it to drinking green tea late and the caffeine kept me awake. That, and praying for a job, which is what I seem to be always doing.
Yep - still have heard nothing from the job I was waiting to hear on last Friday. I'm confused on that one, and can only mark it up to God doesn't want me to have that one. I haven't gone through my emails yet today so will see if I have any responses from any of those - although I would think they would call unless it is a rejection letter.
I've about decided that I have nothing to lose, and to go ahead and apply for a seasonal job with Kohls, Macy's or Sears. I don't mind doing that - I started out at age 15 1/2 being a clerk/cashier for a company in Marwood Plaza (now long gone) in Indianapolis, Indiana - W. T. Grant. Many of you may have heard of them. Or, since I am sure my audience is small, maybe none of you. I enjoy people and being around people and work doesn't scare me, so it may be what I am to do. My delay has been that I don't want to accept a position, then leave it because 'something better' comes along. I don't like doing that to people. I am at the position now that I really don't have a lot of choice; we need money coming in and unless God supernaturally provides, well, things will become quite difficult.
Anyway - talking about where is the time going.... I got up a bit later than usual, did my quiet time, took Marley on nearly a three mile walk, took a shower, and here it is about 10:45 already. I really do need to start setting my alarm, although there isn't any reason for me to get up earlier. Not right now anyway. I just don't like losing 'my time' to sleep. Life is too short to spend it asleep.
So now I am on the computer and as soon as I finish this I will start through my emails to see what has come in, then will start checking companies again and attaching resumes. I am seeing a different side that I haven't seen in years. I don't feel I'm 'desperate' yet, but I am sure many people are. My family will just have to understand come Christmas that no pay check means homemade gifts. Although I don't think they would mind that at all either. Especially my salsa. At least for the boys; my daughter doesn't like it. That's ok - we all love her 'white girl salsa'.
Today is Halloween. I wonder how many dressed up. I used to be in charge of everything at my office - just by designation. I would find judges, arrange the prizes, help with the tour, - all of it. I don't really celebrate Halloween, but it was always fun to see how the others make themselves into different 'things'. I remember one year about 25 years ago - I dressed up as... well, I don't even know what you would call it. Oh my goodness. I bought the makeup, the long green nails. The makeup was black and gray latex, which I put on my face and hands. I pulled my long hair (at that time) around my face and put a gray pillowcase inside out over my head, making it into a hood. I wore the gray sheet wrapped around my body, my feet also had latex on them and I wore flip flops. I still smile because no one knew who I was! As long as I stayed away from my desk, I confused everyone. I walked to the kitchen down the hall and was followed by several people, trying to figure out who I was. I got my coffee then I did walk back to my desk - and the CEO started laughing. She said she had no idea it was me. I won the prize that day for the most original costume. Other times I've dressed as a bride, a belly dancer (that was again, many, many years ago!!) and a hobo... wore a Hawaiian t-shirt one time. Can't remember what else. I don't dress up and haven't for a long, long time.
So what do you do come Halloween? Do you dress up? What are some of your favorite costumes? I love seeing my granddaughters in their Princess costumes. Of course they don't have to dress up to be my princesses!
Ok - this is it for today - seems like my blogs have turned to ramblings lately. I will need to ponder what to focus on. November 1 is tomorrow - a good time to start out with something fresh.
Be careful if you go out tonight - don't eat too many sweets!
Blessings!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
What to say.....
After staring at want ads all day yesterday I drew a blank on what to write about - so didn't. I did get my resume out to a couple new company via connections I have. That always helps - I emailed a doctor over the weekend whom I had worked with; her husband works at a place I applied at. She emailed me back today that he didn't work in that area, however, I could use her as a reference and she had called her husband to have them pull my resume. He said he would do what he could to help. Another friend sent my resume to a CMO at a hospital he is close friends to and gave me a glowing recommendation to go with it. I sent him a note back that if I had received that note, I would hire me!
I contacted another friend via Linked In because I couldn't find his email address. Before I left my last job he told me to let him know where I ended up at. He sent me his email address and I sent him my resume. He sent it on to HR.
It's nice to have friends in 'high places' - but even so, they can't always do any more than move the resume on to their HR departments to see if they could find something for me. Thus far I haven't heard from anyone this week. Still waiting on my other doctor friend to call me back.... his HR department had said I would be given an answer one way or another by last Friday. I emailed him last Thursday evening for an update - but he hasn't responded, nor have I heard from his office. So, I still wait.
I get an email from a friend who teaches at a nearby school today. Last Spring I read/listened to children at her school, and she has asked that I come back. I sent her a note back that I am looking for a job, but for now, I can come in any time during the week. She will let me know when. I really did enjoy it and was beginning to learn my way around the campus. I may be only able to do a couple weeks, or I may be at it for awhile longer. I should have started a month ago, but really thought that I would already be working.
Tomorrow night is Halloween and although we don't turn our porch light on and pass out candy (thanks to teenagers who get dropped off in this area and stroll through the neighborhood), I do fix up bags of candy for each of our grandchildren. I gave my youngest son's children their candy a week ago as they were to head back up to St. John. Wow, what a tragic mess that has turned out to be. Tragic in that my son's - and the children's - lives have been turned upside down due to their mother's instability. She admitted herself to a psych hospital here in Phoenix and my son was left with the children. He finally got them registered for school near him, and now his life has become totally involved with getting them to school, driving 50 miles one way for himself to get to work, driving back home to get them from school. He is checking to see if he can work from home for awhile until he can sort out whether he is coming or going.
I expect my middle child's wife to bring the three children by for their treats and for grandma to take pictures. It has gotten to be a tradition now. My daughter's children probably are too old to dress up to go out - so will be taking their treats over to them shortly as I need to leave in a few minutes to pick up my granddaughter from school. Don't get to see them much anymore; with living several miles away and so involved in school and church activities, they don't have time for grandma anymore. sigh.....
Need to head out the door - don't know of what to write about now anyway - nothing going on. Stay tuned; perhaps I will have something to share tomorrow. This morning was grocery shopping and you know nothing happens there!
Blessings!
I contacted another friend via Linked In because I couldn't find his email address. Before I left my last job he told me to let him know where I ended up at. He sent me his email address and I sent him my resume. He sent it on to HR.
It's nice to have friends in 'high places' - but even so, they can't always do any more than move the resume on to their HR departments to see if they could find something for me. Thus far I haven't heard from anyone this week. Still waiting on my other doctor friend to call me back.... his HR department had said I would be given an answer one way or another by last Friday. I emailed him last Thursday evening for an update - but he hasn't responded, nor have I heard from his office. So, I still wait.
I get an email from a friend who teaches at a nearby school today. Last Spring I read/listened to children at her school, and she has asked that I come back. I sent her a note back that I am looking for a job, but for now, I can come in any time during the week. She will let me know when. I really did enjoy it and was beginning to learn my way around the campus. I may be only able to do a couple weeks, or I may be at it for awhile longer. I should have started a month ago, but really thought that I would already be working.
Tomorrow night is Halloween and although we don't turn our porch light on and pass out candy (thanks to teenagers who get dropped off in this area and stroll through the neighborhood), I do fix up bags of candy for each of our grandchildren. I gave my youngest son's children their candy a week ago as they were to head back up to St. John. Wow, what a tragic mess that has turned out to be. Tragic in that my son's - and the children's - lives have been turned upside down due to their mother's instability. She admitted herself to a psych hospital here in Phoenix and my son was left with the children. He finally got them registered for school near him, and now his life has become totally involved with getting them to school, driving 50 miles one way for himself to get to work, driving back home to get them from school. He is checking to see if he can work from home for awhile until he can sort out whether he is coming or going.
I expect my middle child's wife to bring the three children by for their treats and for grandma to take pictures. It has gotten to be a tradition now. My daughter's children probably are too old to dress up to go out - so will be taking their treats over to them shortly as I need to leave in a few minutes to pick up my granddaughter from school. Don't get to see them much anymore; with living several miles away and so involved in school and church activities, they don't have time for grandma anymore. sigh.....
Need to head out the door - don't know of what to write about now anyway - nothing going on. Stay tuned; perhaps I will have something to share tomorrow. This morning was grocery shopping and you know nothing happens there!
Blessings!
Saturday, October 27, 2012
And we continue to wait....
I was to get a response one way or the other yesterday, according to HR, but did not. Makes me think that they made the offer to someone else and they are waiting on their response. Could be. Don't know. Could be the boss was out of town. But, either way, here it is the weekend again and I still have no answers.
So what am I doing this morning? Well, let me tell you about this 'morning'. About 1AM-ish Marley decides she needs to go out. I hear the whining, but hoping she was just having a dream, I paused before jumping out of bed to see. She continued and she got louder. I got up, turned off the alarm, and let her go out. She literally ran for her corner to complete her business. I got her back to bed, and I went back to bed.
Just setlting into the relaxed mode of early sleep when I hear her again. Softly, then louder and louder. I get up again, turn off the alarm and repeat the above process. Again I put her back to bed.
This happens a third time. By now it is around 4AM and I am debating even going back to bed at all. I finally pulled back the covers in the back room and curled up in that bed and tried to catch some sleep. I hear the 'whining' noise again, but realize that - and don't laugh - it is hubby snoring and somehow amongst the in/out push/inhale of air, he has a squeak. I probably do too. Anyway, about 5:30 AM hubby comes into the back room to ask why am I in there. I explained. He told me to go to sleep and he took care of Marley. I finally got up about 6:30 I think. No wonder I don't feel like I slept much last night.
No biggie - it happens to everyone as a parent - whether it is parent of a child or of a dog. I'll catch up on the sleep tonight.
Back to my question of what I am doing this morning - well, same thing I have done nearly every day this week - on the internet looking at jobs. I did find one at another company in which I know a doctor whose husband works there. So, I completed the application then sent my doctor friend an email for her to ask her husband to see if he could pull my application and possibly see if I would be a fit for their company. I've been told more and more often, you have to know someone in order to get somewhere. Lucky for me I have worked with lots of people over the past 26 years and most I still have their emails or know where they are. But still, the job must be a fit or getting it will be a disappointment for all.
And I don't like to be disappointed. I want a job where I will be a viable part of the team. I want my skills and abilities utilized and enhanced. I want to make the best, better. One would think any company would want me. They do, they just don't know it. :-) Actually, at this point the biggest stumbling block is salary. The above job asked if I would take $10-$11 an hour. I honestly said no. I know my skills are worth more than that and although I do not anticipate making as much as I did before in some companies, I know that if they will take a chance on me, they will not be disappointed.
This has been my week for meeting with my doctor friends for lunch. I met with one the other day before my interview at a company nearby. Yesterday I met with another doctor friend just because I wanted to. She reminded me of someone who I might check with for a job. Actually, I had thought of this person already but didn't see any jobs at his company that I felt would pay what I needed. Still, perhaps I will send him an email and ask him if I have any of the skills his company needs and what would he be willing to pay for them.
Kind of like 'you snooze, you lose' on the jobs I am waiting for responses on.
We are having a 'block party' at our church this afternoon in lieu of a Halloween gathering. Hubby and I have both volunteered to help with it - he will be grilling hot dogs and I'm not sure where they plan to put me. I just told them that I'd help wherever I was needed. I hope my boys remember to bring the grandchildren by - one way to work out some energy!
It is another beautiful Saturday in Phoenix. I hope you can enjoy it.
Blessings!
So what am I doing this morning? Well, let me tell you about this 'morning'. About 1AM-ish Marley decides she needs to go out. I hear the whining, but hoping she was just having a dream, I paused before jumping out of bed to see. She continued and she got louder. I got up, turned off the alarm, and let her go out. She literally ran for her corner to complete her business. I got her back to bed, and I went back to bed.
Just setlting into the relaxed mode of early sleep when I hear her again. Softly, then louder and louder. I get up again, turn off the alarm and repeat the above process. Again I put her back to bed.
This happens a third time. By now it is around 4AM and I am debating even going back to bed at all. I finally pulled back the covers in the back room and curled up in that bed and tried to catch some sleep. I hear the 'whining' noise again, but realize that - and don't laugh - it is hubby snoring and somehow amongst the in/out push/inhale of air, he has a squeak. I probably do too. Anyway, about 5:30 AM hubby comes into the back room to ask why am I in there. I explained. He told me to go to sleep and he took care of Marley. I finally got up about 6:30 I think. No wonder I don't feel like I slept much last night.
No biggie - it happens to everyone as a parent - whether it is parent of a child or of a dog. I'll catch up on the sleep tonight.
Back to my question of what I am doing this morning - well, same thing I have done nearly every day this week - on the internet looking at jobs. I did find one at another company in which I know a doctor whose husband works there. So, I completed the application then sent my doctor friend an email for her to ask her husband to see if he could pull my application and possibly see if I would be a fit for their company. I've been told more and more often, you have to know someone in order to get somewhere. Lucky for me I have worked with lots of people over the past 26 years and most I still have their emails or know where they are. But still, the job must be a fit or getting it will be a disappointment for all.
And I don't like to be disappointed. I want a job where I will be a viable part of the team. I want my skills and abilities utilized and enhanced. I want to make the best, better. One would think any company would want me. They do, they just don't know it. :-) Actually, at this point the biggest stumbling block is salary. The above job asked if I would take $10-$11 an hour. I honestly said no. I know my skills are worth more than that and although I do not anticipate making as much as I did before in some companies, I know that if they will take a chance on me, they will not be disappointed.
This has been my week for meeting with my doctor friends for lunch. I met with one the other day before my interview at a company nearby. Yesterday I met with another doctor friend just because I wanted to. She reminded me of someone who I might check with for a job. Actually, I had thought of this person already but didn't see any jobs at his company that I felt would pay what I needed. Still, perhaps I will send him an email and ask him if I have any of the skills his company needs and what would he be willing to pay for them.
Kind of like 'you snooze, you lose' on the jobs I am waiting for responses on.
We are having a 'block party' at our church this afternoon in lieu of a Halloween gathering. Hubby and I have both volunteered to help with it - he will be grilling hot dogs and I'm not sure where they plan to put me. I just told them that I'd help wherever I was needed. I hope my boys remember to bring the grandchildren by - one way to work out some energy!
It is another beautiful Saturday in Phoenix. I hope you can enjoy it.
Blessings!
Friday, October 26, 2012
Waiting is not fun....
As many of you on the job hunting cycle know, waiting is not fun. I was told by HR last week that the job I interviewed for, I would get an answer by the middle to the end of next week (meaning this week) and I would get an answer either way. Well, this is Friday and I still haven't heard anything as of yet. In fact, hoping to rush the answer a little bit, I took it upon myself to send the person I would report to an email (I had worked for him before so we are business 'friends') and told him I was interested in the position and would like to hear their decision. As of yet I have not received a reply. That could be for any reason; he could be out of town, he could have assigned that task to someone else, he could just be really busy. Either way, I would like to know soon.
I asked God this morning that if this job wasn't for me to receive, that the answer would be no. That if it wasn't one He wanted me to have, the answer would be no. Now why would I do that? Because He knows my heart and my abilities. God knows what I want to do and what I would enjoy. If I get offered this job, because of our current financial situation, I would have to take it. Not that I wouldn't enjoy it or couldn't do the job well. I just need to find any job right now. I dislike very much being put in this situation.
So, I have to depend on God to rout out the jobs He doesn't want me to have. The good part of my looking for a job is that hubby is also looking for a job. For five years he refused to find employment so this is a good thing. Unfortunately, it has also made things difficult for us financially. I have enjoyed my time not working and have been seriously looking for about three months. I just never believed I would have this much difficulty in finding something - but then, sometimes God intervenes and keeps things from happening because He wants me to hold out for the one He wants me to have. Well, as I tell Him, the time is NOW.
So while I wait on that email or that specific phone call, I am continuing to submit applications and resumes to different places. I'm actually thinking of places that I could have fun at - yes, even though being a sales person is hard work, or being a waitress is hard work, I think I would have fun because I love being with people, making new friends. But as I have no idea what God has planned, I will continue to submit applications and resumes with the hopes I won't have to take the first job that comes along.
Today is a cool, beautiful day here in Phoenix. Marley kept wanting me to play rope tag with her so I finally tied it to my chair so that I could type while she played. I think she is enjoying that for she sure is making a mess at my feet with the strings she has chewed off the rope!
I'm meeting one of my friends for lunch today to catch up on things. It has been a few months since we have made contact. There are a few from my old office that I still keep in touch with and try to lunch with on occasion. I chatted with another one briefly last night and he told me that he is praying for me to get this job (he had actually forwarded my resume to this company). These are true friends, who care about m e.
But as I said at the beginning, waiting is not fun. It's been over a week since I had the telephone interview. If I don't hear today..... well, I don't know what that would mean. I'll contact my girlfriend over the weekend for I interviewed at her company the other day. They did tell me it could take two months for them to make a decision! Well, I can't wait two months. But I also don't want to take the first job offered. But I also need a job now.
So, because I know I am starting to ramble and am repeating myself (as my children often tell me), I guess this is all I'm writing today. Perhaps tomorrow I will have news to share.
Blessings!
I asked God this morning that if this job wasn't for me to receive, that the answer would be no. That if it wasn't one He wanted me to have, the answer would be no. Now why would I do that? Because He knows my heart and my abilities. God knows what I want to do and what I would enjoy. If I get offered this job, because of our current financial situation, I would have to take it. Not that I wouldn't enjoy it or couldn't do the job well. I just need to find any job right now. I dislike very much being put in this situation.
So, I have to depend on God to rout out the jobs He doesn't want me to have. The good part of my looking for a job is that hubby is also looking for a job. For five years he refused to find employment so this is a good thing. Unfortunately, it has also made things difficult for us financially. I have enjoyed my time not working and have been seriously looking for about three months. I just never believed I would have this much difficulty in finding something - but then, sometimes God intervenes and keeps things from happening because He wants me to hold out for the one He wants me to have. Well, as I tell Him, the time is NOW.
So while I wait on that email or that specific phone call, I am continuing to submit applications and resumes to different places. I'm actually thinking of places that I could have fun at - yes, even though being a sales person is hard work, or being a waitress is hard work, I think I would have fun because I love being with people, making new friends. But as I have no idea what God has planned, I will continue to submit applications and resumes with the hopes I won't have to take the first job that comes along.
Today is a cool, beautiful day here in Phoenix. Marley kept wanting me to play rope tag with her so I finally tied it to my chair so that I could type while she played. I think she is enjoying that for she sure is making a mess at my feet with the strings she has chewed off the rope!
I'm meeting one of my friends for lunch today to catch up on things. It has been a few months since we have made contact. There are a few from my old office that I still keep in touch with and try to lunch with on occasion. I chatted with another one briefly last night and he told me that he is praying for me to get this job (he had actually forwarded my resume to this company). These are true friends, who care about m e.
But as I said at the beginning, waiting is not fun. It's been over a week since I had the telephone interview. If I don't hear today..... well, I don't know what that would mean. I'll contact my girlfriend over the weekend for I interviewed at her company the other day. They did tell me it could take two months for them to make a decision! Well, I can't wait two months. But I also don't want to take the first job offered. But I also need a job now.
So, because I know I am starting to ramble and am repeating myself (as my children often tell me), I guess this is all I'm writing today. Perhaps tomorrow I will have news to share.
Blessings!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Interview Day!
I have an interview scheduled this afternoon. I'm debating on meeting someone for lunch in that area so that I will already be through the traffic before I need to meet for the interview. Yeah, this is the 23 mile job. But you know what, I got to thinking about it and the drive really isn't so bad. I didn't want to have that drive every day because of the I10 traffic, but everyone has to get to somewhere from someplace. I think I was more weary from the stress of my job, stress at home, stress within the family - and all that wore on me. I feel I am in a 'better place' now. Yes, I have had a year off work and have done many things, and that has helped me get to where I am now.
I'm ready to go back to work. I'm ready to make new friends. I'm ready to learn new things. And if I need to drive 30 miles to do that, and the pay is sufficient to help pay our bills, then I will do that. I found 3 other jobs yesterday that I applied for.
I'm finding that since most of my qualifications are in the senior administrative assistant or executive assistant area that is what I have been pretty much applying for. However, the job I am interviewing for today is quite a bit down the ladder from that. It is almost down to the base floor within the company. Not that it is a bad thing, just that I will be starting out on the ground floor should I be offered this position and should I take it. They may decide I am over qualified, which is what has happened at times in the past.
People don't stop to think that if I apply for the job that I will do an excellent job and I do not job hop. Some people will accept a job and if something better gets offered to them - off they go to it. I'm not that way, which is why I have been slow in getting a job. I want the job offered to me - and accepted - as one that I will stay at for the rest of my working career. I don't want to bounce around jobs and not know where I am. I stayed with my last company nearly 26 years - and I think that is a testament that I can weather many storms within the company and still come out on top.
I have given God the glory and honor for my early retirement, for this year at home so that I can do various things. I've walked a mini-marathon, went on a two week vacation, have been on several 'mini' vacations, spent time with children and grandchildren (although not as much as I would like), played, got Marley, read, played some more, and still not completed every thing I had hoped I would while I was off. I didn't do it because there is always time to do it and it just didn't seem that important. So here I am now still unemployed, still putting applications in, still going on interviews, still waiting. I have reached the point now where I am saying, "what now, God? What are You going to do in this situation?"
Do I still believe He orchestrated my time off? Yes. Do I still believe He will provide for us - that I will find a job that will pay the bills? Yes. Do I still believe that God is in control of my life and any job that I am offered? Yes. There is no doubt in my mind that my God is still working on my behalf.
I just don't understand the delay. Yeah, I'm just like many of you. You know that you know that you know - and God is still on His throne and is still God. But why hasn't He acted on my behalf? Only He knows that answer. My job is to wait upon Him and continue to put applications in and continue to interview and continue to wait.
Is this wait to humble me? Perhaps. Is this time given to me because something is going to happen and I need this time to mentally prepare? I don't know. Is He preparing a job for me that He wants me to have and it isn't quite ready yet? I don't know.
My job is to just wait upon Him. Doesn't mean that it is easy. I get peace, and then others push their anxiety upon me and I get unsettled. I'm trusting, and that is what I am called to do.
Why about you? Are you struggling in this midst of your current storm? Have you applied for jobs and gotten turned down? Have you cried out to God for help and He doesn't seem to hear? Have you looked at your life to see what you may need to change, to work on, so that you can receive His favor? He doesn't honor sin. And sometimes He just wants you to be totally dependent upon Him. The waiting is half the battle. But know that when you wait upon Him, and trust Him completely, He will reward your faithfulness.
I'm still waiting. And trusting. And hoping. I can hear a yes or no before this week is over from my last interview and I have another company interview today. This interview could be the best one; it is at my friend's company and we have already talked of getting together to walk on breaks and stuff. She has been a positive influence in my life. I would love to work with her again.
So I'm in turmoil - but I'm waiting. And since I can wait, I encourage you to wait as well. Ask God, Seek Him. Tell Him what you need. And wait.
Blessings!
I'm ready to go back to work. I'm ready to make new friends. I'm ready to learn new things. And if I need to drive 30 miles to do that, and the pay is sufficient to help pay our bills, then I will do that. I found 3 other jobs yesterday that I applied for.
I'm finding that since most of my qualifications are in the senior administrative assistant or executive assistant area that is what I have been pretty much applying for. However, the job I am interviewing for today is quite a bit down the ladder from that. It is almost down to the base floor within the company. Not that it is a bad thing, just that I will be starting out on the ground floor should I be offered this position and should I take it. They may decide I am over qualified, which is what has happened at times in the past.
People don't stop to think that if I apply for the job that I will do an excellent job and I do not job hop. Some people will accept a job and if something better gets offered to them - off they go to it. I'm not that way, which is why I have been slow in getting a job. I want the job offered to me - and accepted - as one that I will stay at for the rest of my working career. I don't want to bounce around jobs and not know where I am. I stayed with my last company nearly 26 years - and I think that is a testament that I can weather many storms within the company and still come out on top.
I have given God the glory and honor for my early retirement, for this year at home so that I can do various things. I've walked a mini-marathon, went on a two week vacation, have been on several 'mini' vacations, spent time with children and grandchildren (although not as much as I would like), played, got Marley, read, played some more, and still not completed every thing I had hoped I would while I was off. I didn't do it because there is always time to do it and it just didn't seem that important. So here I am now still unemployed, still putting applications in, still going on interviews, still waiting. I have reached the point now where I am saying, "what now, God? What are You going to do in this situation?"
Do I still believe He orchestrated my time off? Yes. Do I still believe He will provide for us - that I will find a job that will pay the bills? Yes. Do I still believe that God is in control of my life and any job that I am offered? Yes. There is no doubt in my mind that my God is still working on my behalf.
I just don't understand the delay. Yeah, I'm just like many of you. You know that you know that you know - and God is still on His throne and is still God. But why hasn't He acted on my behalf? Only He knows that answer. My job is to wait upon Him and continue to put applications in and continue to interview and continue to wait.
Is this wait to humble me? Perhaps. Is this time given to me because something is going to happen and I need this time to mentally prepare? I don't know. Is He preparing a job for me that He wants me to have and it isn't quite ready yet? I don't know.
My job is to just wait upon Him. Doesn't mean that it is easy. I get peace, and then others push their anxiety upon me and I get unsettled. I'm trusting, and that is what I am called to do.
Why about you? Are you struggling in this midst of your current storm? Have you applied for jobs and gotten turned down? Have you cried out to God for help and He doesn't seem to hear? Have you looked at your life to see what you may need to change, to work on, so that you can receive His favor? He doesn't honor sin. And sometimes He just wants you to be totally dependent upon Him. The waiting is half the battle. But know that when you wait upon Him, and trust Him completely, He will reward your faithfulness.
I'm still waiting. And trusting. And hoping. I can hear a yes or no before this week is over from my last interview and I have another company interview today. This interview could be the best one; it is at my friend's company and we have already talked of getting together to walk on breaks and stuff. She has been a positive influence in my life. I would love to work with her again.
So I'm in turmoil - but I'm waiting. And since I can wait, I encourage you to wait as well. Ask God, Seek Him. Tell Him what you need. And wait.
Blessings!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
You gotta love Sleeping Beauty!
As I scanned facebook this morning, a friend had posted a picture of Sleeping Beauty and her prince with the caption 'I believe loyalty is built on TRUST'. That comment is more true today as it ever has been.
Checking on definitions -
Loyalty - 1. the quality or state of being loyal. 2. the tie binding a person to something to which he is loyal.
So - if I read that correctly, it is a tie (a bond?) that draws and holds (binds) a person to that someone, or some thing, to which he believes in and will stand beside. For example, a husband and wife (or a committed couple) do not look at other men or women because they are committed, and loyal to the person they have chosen to be with. It is a choice, but a committed one. Without that commitment from both parties, there is no loyalty.
Trust - 1. assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. One in which confidence is placed. 2. dependence on something future or contingent. a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship. to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of, to believe and place confidence in.
I feel the definition of Trust explains it well. You know you can believe in the character, the ability, the strength or the truth of someone. You put your heart in that belief.
But what happens when that loyalty is broken; that trust is destroyed? What does one do? You still have a choice. You can choose to walk away and focus your broken heart on the things that need your attention right now, to be the best that you can be. Or, you can run around like a whipped puppy and get kicked and beaten up with non-trust and non-loyalty time and time again.
I'm grateful that even with our issues, my hubby and I have never strayed from our commitment to each other. I think we both decided long ago that this commitment was here to stay, that to move into another relationship was only taking the issues with us. Or baggage into other relationships - which is what we both did when we started our relationship. We have had to work through some major issues. Still do at times. But we stick together, not taking our committed relationship to others.
Baggage. It can destroy you, or it can make you stronger. Some people bring baggage with them from their childhood. They have always done this so even though the results have always been the same, they want to keep doing it. They don't want to change.
Some people bring baggage from their previous relationships or marriage. Those people need to open their eyes to see that bringing old baggage that didn't work in the first (or second, or third) relationship will probably not work in the current relationship. And that goes for both sides.
Regardless of how you feel about a person - you can like them a lot, you can care for them - but that relationship can be toxic for you if you don't have trust and loyalty. If that relationship is one you can not trust the other person to be faithful to you and you alone, then you need to pull up your boot straps and walk away, regardless of how much it hurts. You need to withhold any comments, to not spread rumors whether true or not. You don't need to 'set the record straight' with family members. You need to hold your head high and walk away with integrity.
Life sucks sometimes. Life sometimes isn't fair. I've been there, I know what I'm talking about. When you hear that a loved one isn't being honest with you, is unfaithful to you, is unconcerned about you, it breaks your heart. But you determine you will be strong and you will get through it. Show them what you are made of. You aren't a blubbering idiot like they say you are - stand tall and be proud. Listen to those who love you and want only the best for you. Reach out to those who will walk the journey with you. You are not alone. You may hear 'I told you so' - and that's ok. Listen. Change your focus on those that need you.
God doesn't allow you to go through these journeys alone. He believes in you when others walk away. He will never give up on you. He will walk with you every step of the way. You can trust His loyalty. You can never do anything that will cause Him to turn his back on you. He loves you and chooses to have a committed relationship with you.
Michael W. Smith posted on facebook this morning the following words from his Healing Rain album:
"When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part, when darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water"...from Bridge Over Troubled Water on HEALING RAIN (written by Paul Simon)
and a comment from Bill Johnson, evangelist:
Checking on definitions -
Loyalty - 1. the quality or state of being loyal. 2. the tie binding a person to something to which he is loyal.
So - if I read that correctly, it is a tie (a bond?) that draws and holds (binds) a person to that someone, or some thing, to which he believes in and will stand beside. For example, a husband and wife (or a committed couple) do not look at other men or women because they are committed, and loyal to the person they have chosen to be with. It is a choice, but a committed one. Without that commitment from both parties, there is no loyalty.
Trust - 1. assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. One in which confidence is placed. 2. dependence on something future or contingent. a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship. to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of, to believe and place confidence in.
I feel the definition of Trust explains it well. You know you can believe in the character, the ability, the strength or the truth of someone. You put your heart in that belief.
But what happens when that loyalty is broken; that trust is destroyed? What does one do? You still have a choice. You can choose to walk away and focus your broken heart on the things that need your attention right now, to be the best that you can be. Or, you can run around like a whipped puppy and get kicked and beaten up with non-trust and non-loyalty time and time again.
I'm grateful that even with our issues, my hubby and I have never strayed from our commitment to each other. I think we both decided long ago that this commitment was here to stay, that to move into another relationship was only taking the issues with us. Or baggage into other relationships - which is what we both did when we started our relationship. We have had to work through some major issues. Still do at times. But we stick together, not taking our committed relationship to others.
Baggage. It can destroy you, or it can make you stronger. Some people bring baggage with them from their childhood. They have always done this so even though the results have always been the same, they want to keep doing it. They don't want to change.
Some people bring baggage from their previous relationships or marriage. Those people need to open their eyes to see that bringing old baggage that didn't work in the first (or second, or third) relationship will probably not work in the current relationship. And that goes for both sides.
Regardless of how you feel about a person - you can like them a lot, you can care for them - but that relationship can be toxic for you if you don't have trust and loyalty. If that relationship is one you can not trust the other person to be faithful to you and you alone, then you need to pull up your boot straps and walk away, regardless of how much it hurts. You need to withhold any comments, to not spread rumors whether true or not. You don't need to 'set the record straight' with family members. You need to hold your head high and walk away with integrity.
Life sucks sometimes. Life sometimes isn't fair. I've been there, I know what I'm talking about. When you hear that a loved one isn't being honest with you, is unfaithful to you, is unconcerned about you, it breaks your heart. But you determine you will be strong and you will get through it. Show them what you are made of. You aren't a blubbering idiot like they say you are - stand tall and be proud. Listen to those who love you and want only the best for you. Reach out to those who will walk the journey with you. You are not alone. You may hear 'I told you so' - and that's ok. Listen. Change your focus on those that need you.
God doesn't allow you to go through these journeys alone. He believes in you when others walk away. He will never give up on you. He will walk with you every step of the way. You can trust His loyalty. You can never do anything that will cause Him to turn his back on you. He loves you and chooses to have a committed relationship with you.
Michael W. Smith posted on facebook this morning the following words from his Healing Rain album:
"When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part, when darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water"...from Bridge Over Troubled Water on HEALING RAIN (written by Paul Simon)
and a comment from Bill Johnson, evangelist:
Monday, October 22, 2012
The week of waiting.....
This could possibly be a l-o-n-g week - or it could be a short week. Depends on how one looks at it! From my interview last Friday, I was told that 'one way or another, I will be notified the middle to end of this week as to the outcome'. In other words, they'll let me know sometime this week if I get the job or not. Personally, I'm praying they will notify me sometime today. I know, it isn't the middle of the week but I have the possibility of three more interviews this week - and why waste their time - and mine! When that company calls today to schedule the interviews, I am going to try for Wednesday or Thursday so that I will hear about this job first. I hope. The distance is a big issue right now - the job I'm waiting to hear on is only 7 miles away. Very good for gas prices and time on the road. The other job(s) are 23 miles away. Which means long driving time. But, I've done it in the past and I can do it again. I'm anticipating the pay to be different as well. Not even comparable. But, I'm praying, as are others, that I will hear soon so that I will know how to plan and what to do. Either way, am hoping - sorta - that this is my last 'free' week before getting back into the work force. I just don't want it to be laden down with concern if I have a job or not. Time will tell. I will either be concerned by the middle to end of week or celebrating I have a few more days.
In my quiet time this morning I came across a scripture in Proverbs which has great meaning right now.
Proverbs 27:19
As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.
There is a lot of 'stuff' going on in my family right now, some very painful, and it grieves my heart to see that one's Christian witness has gone down the drain with their behavior over a very difficult situation. All the good they have done is worthless. And it saddens me to see it. All I can do is pray for wisdom and strength for those involved. I have tried to encourage and help them to see this is a valuable opportunity for them to show their strength and ability to handle this task thrown in their lap. But the enemy keeps knocking them down with 'threats' and 'demands' and one whom they truly believed loved them has shown their true colors and turned their back on them in this midst of this stressful situation.
What happened to standing by someone when they are going through difficult times? A few more scriptures to make my point.
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 19:4
Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man’s friend deserts him
Proverbs 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered
Just a few scriptures to get you thinking this morning. Friend could also be relative. It is someone who is close. Sometimes I just want to grab hold of their neck and just shake them really, really hard! In Jesus' name, of course. No need to go into details, but would appreciate prayers for those involved. Sometimes that is the best we can do. We all have our limitations on what we are 'allowed' to do. And I'll stop with that. Big sigh.
We made a quick run up to Prescott Valley after church yesterday to visit a friend who is in the hospital. It was good visiting with he and his wife, and towards the end of our visit, we found he was getting a little distracted in his thinking. When the nursing assistant came in she found his oxygen line had separated from the wall. She plugged it back in and kept telling him to breathe through his nose and out his mouth, finally saying that she would be back later to check it again. It was after we prayed for him and were getting ready to leave that we noticed how much he had perked up and was more alert and responsive.
As I think about that this morning, I am reminded of the song 'This is the air I breathe'.
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence
Living in me
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word
Spoken to me
And I ... I'm desperate for you
And I ... I'm lost without you
This is air I breathe
This is air I breathe
Your holy presence
Living in me
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word
Spoken to me
And I ... I'm desperate for you
And I ... I'm lost without you (eh hey, yeah)
And I ... I'm desperate for you
And I ... I'm lost without you
And I ... I'm desperate for you
And I ... I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you (Father)
I'm lost..without you
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
As our friend's body was desperate for the oxygen it needed, we are designed not only for air to breathe to keep us alive, but we are designed for the air of the Holy Spirit. Are you desperate for the Holy Spirit to fill you, complete you? Do you long for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, the strength that can only come from being His? Are you dependent upon the air of the world, or the Air of the Holy One to complete you and walk with you through the many journeys you are taking?
I know that I'm desperate for Him. I shudder to think what I would have become had I not given my life over to Jesus. He has permission to do anything with me that He wants. He can take me through any battles, any struggles, He wants; for in these He walks with me and helps me to know how to walk with others. And we all need others to walk with us through these struggles. Even so, you are never alone.
Breathe deep, and long. He is all you need to get you through this. You CAN get through this. You WILL get through this, and you will be stronger and wiser because of it. Don't have a pity party for yourself, although it could be justifiable. Determine you will rise up and be strong in the midst of the crisis. We're praying.
Blessings!
In my quiet time this morning I came across a scripture in Proverbs which has great meaning right now.
Proverbs 27:19
As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.
There is a lot of 'stuff' going on in my family right now, some very painful, and it grieves my heart to see that one's Christian witness has gone down the drain with their behavior over a very difficult situation. All the good they have done is worthless. And it saddens me to see it. All I can do is pray for wisdom and strength for those involved. I have tried to encourage and help them to see this is a valuable opportunity for them to show their strength and ability to handle this task thrown in their lap. But the enemy keeps knocking them down with 'threats' and 'demands' and one whom they truly believed loved them has shown their true colors and turned their back on them in this midst of this stressful situation.
What happened to standing by someone when they are going through difficult times? A few more scriptures to make my point.
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 19:4
Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man’s friend deserts him
Proverbs 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered
Just a few scriptures to get you thinking this morning. Friend could also be relative. It is someone who is close. Sometimes I just want to grab hold of their neck and just shake them really, really hard! In Jesus' name, of course. No need to go into details, but would appreciate prayers for those involved. Sometimes that is the best we can do. We all have our limitations on what we are 'allowed' to do. And I'll stop with that. Big sigh.
We made a quick run up to Prescott Valley after church yesterday to visit a friend who is in the hospital. It was good visiting with he and his wife, and towards the end of our visit, we found he was getting a little distracted in his thinking. When the nursing assistant came in she found his oxygen line had separated from the wall. She plugged it back in and kept telling him to breathe through his nose and out his mouth, finally saying that she would be back later to check it again. It was after we prayed for him and were getting ready to leave that we noticed how much he had perked up and was more alert and responsive.
As I think about that this morning, I am reminded of the song 'This is the air I breathe'.
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence
Living in me
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word
Spoken to me
And I ... I'm desperate for you
And I ... I'm lost without you
This is air I breathe
This is air I breathe
Your holy presence
Living in me
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word
Spoken to me
And I ... I'm desperate for you
And I ... I'm lost without you (eh hey, yeah)
And I ... I'm desperate for you
And I ... I'm lost without you
And I ... I'm desperate for you
And I ... I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you (Father)
I'm lost..without you
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
As our friend's body was desperate for the oxygen it needed, we are designed not only for air to breathe to keep us alive, but we are designed for the air of the Holy Spirit. Are you desperate for the Holy Spirit to fill you, complete you? Do you long for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, the strength that can only come from being His? Are you dependent upon the air of the world, or the Air of the Holy One to complete you and walk with you through the many journeys you are taking?
I know that I'm desperate for Him. I shudder to think what I would have become had I not given my life over to Jesus. He has permission to do anything with me that He wants. He can take me through any battles, any struggles, He wants; for in these He walks with me and helps me to know how to walk with others. And we all need others to walk with us through these struggles. Even so, you are never alone.
Breathe deep, and long. He is all you need to get you through this. You CAN get through this. You WILL get through this, and you will be stronger and wiser because of it. Don't have a pity party for yourself, although it could be justifiable. Determine you will rise up and be strong in the midst of the crisis. We're praying.
Blessings!
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