It's a two-cup of coffee morning....

 Yesterday was a really busy day at work and at 3 minutes until 4PM I did shut off my computer and took off.  A great-grandson's birthday party was happening at 4PM in the park near a granddaughter's apartment.  Hubby gave his excuses and didn't go. I really didn't want him to.  It was outside, and I knew he would get hot and cranky.  I should have prepared myself better. I did wear a hat. Wish I had thought to grab an umbrella out of the car to shield us from the sun.  It didn't take long to get to the park and only a few people were there.  Got to see a couple other great-grands and two were playing and one in the stroller.  Then others arrived as well.  It.was.so.hot. and the sun was all around us; practically no shade at all.... and when I checked the thermostat in the car when I left, it was 111 degrees.  Many people canceled on the party. But we had pizza and sodas and water.  I did overheat at one point, getting extremely dizzy to where I was grabbing cold bottles of water and placing on my neck, on my head, on my face - and drinking cold water as well.  I had forgotten that feeling, as I have had it before.  After we had eaten and they had gotten the cake (which I declined, although it was chocolate), I made my leave. I sat in my car for a few minutes with the air running full blast so that my body could cool down.  Last night as I laid in bed, my thoughts turned to the great grandchildren and wondered if they had gotten through the heat ok.  

After I got home, hubby wanted to watch movies (of course). Sigh. What would he do without the TV or his phone?  I finally said ok - and we watched not one, but two movies last night before heading to bed. It was later than usual so we slept until nearly 6AM this morning - totally unusual for us - and I still mark my extra asleep up to the overheating yesterday afternoon.  I encouraged my granddaughter to find another place for the party next year - one INside and cooler!  She agreed!

Today we have a surprise birthday party to go to but we don't need to be there until between 11-11:30AM. I still have time to just chill in here for a bit more, before jumping in the shower and getting ready. Hubby actually came in and asked if I was going to cook breakfast.  My answer was no. He has breakfast burritos I buy for him so he said he'd eat one of those.  He really does expect me to cook for him either on a Saturday or a Sunday morning.  If it wasn't for the birthday party today, I would be getting ready to head to Needles of Hope - but won't be going this month.  Location changed to where it is in the area of where we used to live - lot more driving time - so don't want to be rushing to spend a short time there and then rushing back home to go to the party.

Still haven't made a decision about church yet.  At least hubby hasn't spoken to me about his decision.  Of course I will go with whatever he decides.  Gotta keep him happy.  He does like having Sunday mornings at home, even if we do watch it on the computer.  I am liking the thought of going on Saturday evenings and watching what we want on Sunday mornings - which would include Jentezen Franklin/Free Chapel.  There are a lot of great pastors out there that I enjoy listening to.  I know Sunday afternoons will now be taken up with football. 

I seem to be doing it again.  I am getting a stack of books here beside my chair that I tell myself I will read a little in each morning.... but now there is too many of them I want to read! Sure do wish I had more time in here that I could curl up with a book for as long as I want.  Maybe during football season I can come in here occasionally and read.  Sigh.  There is just something about hubby being afraid to be alone. Can't put my finger on it, other than his fear he will die and no one will be near him.  I am sure what will happen if I tell him I'm going to come in here to read.  He will put on the headset so that he can hear, but will mute it for me, so that I can stay in the same room with him and he isn't alone. It's cooler back here, and my chair is more comfortable.  But, it keeps him happy I'm near him and he can see what I'm doing.  Maybe I'll bake cookies instead!! And heat up the kitchen!  So glad we got ceiling fans in the front room and the dining area - it definitely has made a difference!

Proverbs 18:10 (NKJV):  The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.

In thinking about this proverb this morning, I am also thinking about yesterday afternoon when I was feeling somewhat lightheaded and dizzy from the heat.  I was calling on the name of the Lord to help me stay focused.  I was watching the baby in the stroller; the others were either at the playground or had left to pick up the cake at the apartment.  I was alone with the baby when that feeling came upon me. I just started talking to God and asking Him to help me stay alert and focused. I put water bottles against my neck and head to help me. I didn't dare stand up. It lasted for - to me - several minutes before I could get it back together.  They weren't gone but maybe ten minutes at most, and I was fine when they came back. But I knew I had to leave and get cooled down. They all headed to the apartment after eating cake, I think.  I headed home. Didn't tell anyone - no need to. God took care of me cause I called on His name to help me.  And He did.  

And that's what our Lord does for us. When we need Him, and call on His name, He is ready and willing to come to our rescue.  Just like our verse recently that I posted.... 

2 Corinthians 8:3 But if any person loves God, that person is known by God.

Don't be afraid to call out to Him in your time of need.  He is listening for you.  You may have to suffer the consequences of your actions, but He will be with you through it all.

Blessings!

We have a birthday boy....

 or should I say 'man'!  LOL  Happy birthday to my middle child, my oldest son.  I haven't sent a text - yet - cause I don't know if he is up yet or not.  He usually is, based on comments in his own blog, but, I will let him sleep in case he isn't.  I try to be considerate of phones dinging early in the morning.  He knows I'm up early every day so that is never an issue for me.  But - I am thinking about him this morning and wishing him a very special and happy birthday. 

It was Labor Day on this date 53 years ago.  I know I have shared this story before.  I should go back to the years I have typed out the story so that I don't get it wrong. You know how the mind fades at times and I am no exception for that happening.  But, I shall trudge on.  It was Labor Day. My handsome husband and his brother wanted to go hunting.  I didn't mind - so since I was due to deliver any day (being already a week past due), they dropped me off at my mother's house.  To make the time go by faster, mother was trying to teach me to crochet a doily.  I wish I had paid more attention, but I did have other things going on.  It wasn't long before I got up to go to the bathroom and - swoosh! my water broke. I told mother and she got a towel for me to sit on. I was beginning to feel strange things happening in my body.

I can't tell you, even after having one child, how unprepared I was for what was going on in my body. (My first event with labor I was sedated so I didn't feel anything).  I was not prepared for what I was beginning to feel.  My stepfather decided that maybe he should go gas up his car about the time I started getting some very sharp pains.  He left, and thankfully, my husband and his brother arrived back to pick me up (before cell phones or they would have been called earlier; and they returned empty-handed).  I was rushed to the VW that we had and we rushed to the hospital some 45 minutes away.  We made it. My doctor was on vacation. His replacement took his time getting there.  By now I'm screaming in pain and was told to shut up. They would not give me anything for the pain because the doctor had not ordered it. Nothing.  Like I said, I wasn't prepared for pain like that.  Kudos to the many women who choose natural childbirth.  It was not on my list of things to experience.  

I was soon taken into the delivery room and they still could not give me anything because the doctor had not arrived to order it.  My baby boy decided to arrive without waiting on the doctor and pushed through - with me screaming as the doctor walked in the door and the nurses immediately put the gas mask on my face and knocked me out.  Hallelujah!  There are some memories that just will not go away!  I was resentful of that doctor for taking his time and making me deal with pain I had not experienced before. I had not seen this doctor before, and I refused to see him again.  I still remember his name.  I know it was because I was in such pain that I took a dislike to this doctor.  He could have made sure I was 'comfortable' before he arrived.  After all, my first child's doctor sedated me to where I hadn't felt pain. But no, I experienced it that time and decided a boy and a girl were enough.  But God had other plans. More on that in October.  

So Happy Birthday to my second child, my husband's namesake.  Prayers are prayed for you today, much love is sent your way.  May your day (and weekend) be blessed, be safe, and be one of great memories and love.  I love you, son.

This too shall pass.....

As I sat here, thinking of what else to write, I tried going to Bible Gateway to find something to do with 'time'.  I don't know why that word, 'time', was in my mind.  Reminds me of what Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastics where there is a time for everything.  But my thoughts went to a saying my mama always said to me when I would go to her for help, for wisdom in what to do.  She always said.... "This too shall pass...." , and you know what?  It always did.

The pain in the moment, the indecision, the uncertainty, the troubles that were happening... all of it would pass.  When I would call my mama up and cry because one of my sisters had written a crushing letter to me, telling me I was a bad mother, that I hurt THEIR feelings, or I had embarrassed THEM... and I would call sobbing because it hurt so badly.... and mama would always say.... "pray for them, they need prayer to help them.  This too shall pass.....".  Perhaps she had heard those words many times herself.  She would comfort me, and in time, it did pass.

I was rushing on time yesterday. I was tired. I was cranky. I wanted nothing more than 4PM to get there so that I could turn the work computer off.  I was tired of trying to find time for meetings.  30 minute meetings are bad enough - but the 60 minute meetings were even more difficult to find for the people I support.  And true to form, about 15 minutes before 4PM, I got an email requesting 60 minutes with my male boss. And not only ONE meeting, but WEEKLY.  I know trying to find an hour every week in his calendar is next to impossible.  I was frustrated. I wrote and rewrote and erased many sentences before I finally fired one off to the person asking if they could make it 30 minutes instead.....  and after I hit 'send', I felt guilty because I had allowed my frustration to come out.  I thought about it most of the night, how I should have just not responded until this morning. Allowed my frustration of the day to calm down. But I didn't. She had also sent to another assistant and they hadn't bothered to respond. I felt they needed a response. So I gave one. Perhaps not the nicest one I could have sent like "sure! happy to do it!" (cough cough).  I see that the other assistant responded that we three can get on a phone call this morning and go through calendars to see what we can do.  UGH. I don't mind the phone call to sort it out - I keep my mouth shut in those. But... so I feel bad because of my whiney email. And I will apologize because I let myself hit send.  I think I'm just mentally worn out - even with just a four-day week.  This four-day week feels like two weeks rolled into one.   And I'm tired.

But - now my morning time has run out and I need to jump on the computer and get started on my day. It's Friday and I still need to work on some contracts for legal that have been sitting for three weeks; just can't get to them.  That's how busy I've been. 

Today is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Blessings!

Is it Friday yet?

 Yesterday was feeling like a Friday - and I truly was wishing it was. It's been a tough, busy week but nothing I haven't been able to handle.  Work yesterday was a different day.  We had three 1.5 hour town halls and I was to attend each one as a back-up on presenting the slide powerpoint - which I have never done.  I had to teach myself how to do it, get the full screen, etc.  But nope, haven't had to do it. Until yesterday.  Our president's EA had an emergency come up and guess who got to take the lead on the meeting presentation!  Yep - and I did it.  For our whole division!  Scared I'd click too many times?  Yep. Nervous I would miss the cue?  Yep.  But I did it perfectly (thank you, God, cause I asked and You answered!) and I even got kudos after!  My boss says that she is putting all the compliments in my folder to review when it's time for my raise. Hoot de Hoot!

The town hall meetings took up a large portion of my day and I couldn't do anything else because I had to be alert the first two in case something happened, and the third one I did the presentation.  I did manage to get a meeting in with my male boss to go over his business trip next week.  Got to call the travel agency this morning and change his hotel.  Airline and car rental is already taken care of. I also need to firm up his scheduled meetings for the two days - could only work three in as he has a company thing he is actually going back for.  But he has to run up and down the state to get them in.  His fault. He commits not knowing where they are located.  He makes my head hurt.

Had my training last night and she worked 'core'.  I know it is good for me so I try very hard to complete each task - but it is so difficult.  I feel like I weigh 300 pounds and can't get the body up off the ground at times.  She's tough, but she's good.

I Corinthians 8:3 (NCV):  But if any person loves God, that person is known by God.

If you stop and think about it, you know how loved you are by God.  Only those who reject God do not believe they are loved by Him, but they still are.  He just lets them do what they choose to do, even though it is against Him.  But when we love God, He has our name in the palm of His hand.  Jesus is our Shepherd, and He knows us by name.  It's not like us.  When we see a crowd of people, that's all we see; a crowd of people.  We don't know them. We just see faces.  But Jesus sees US.  He sees our floppy ears. He sees our birthmarks. He sees are limping leg. He sees our hanging arm. He sees all our mistakes. He sees all our wrong choices.  And He not only sees us, He knows us by name.

There is something special about someone who knows your name, isn't it!  Occasionally, when I meet someone for the first time they will make a comment that they have heard about me.  It always makes me curious.  Sometimes I wonder WHAT have they heard.  They usually chuckle and say 'it's all good'.  (whew. I've done some really stupid things in my past; I want them forgotten completely! Not come back to haunt me!)  I often get asked where did I get my name.  And I love to tell the story that it's a part of my mama and part of my dad's names.  The name now, though, is getting to be more common. I've heard - and met - others with that name.  One Sunday at church there was a new baby. When I met the parents I asked the baby's name.  Yep! It was mine!  I squealed. The mother was surprised.  I wondered where they came up with that name.  What did they look for? The definition of 'new' or 'explosion' or 'star'?  (I was once told my name of a certain Indian tribe was 'Shooting Star'.  A friend up north where I speak has a granddaughter with my name, and every year we go up, she reminds me how old her granddaughter is.  She turned 7 last year.  Names often don't mean much to us, but to God, they are priceless.  He loves us so much that He knows our name, and writes it in the palm of His hand. Can you imagine being loved that much?

It felt like Friday yesterday, although I had my training and I never go on Friday.  It has just felt, because of how busy the week has been, the week has already flown by.  But, alas, it is only Thursday. And I have much to get completed today.  I'm hoping for no new meetings that are difficult to schedule so that I can concentrate on getting this trip itinerary completed and have some time to breathe. The last two days I couldn't even break away.  I've been trying for 3 weeks to meet a friend for lunch - and just can't find the time to get away. Hubby gets upset with me if I grab something and bring back to my desk so that I can keep working and not sit down with him.  I did the same thing at the office - ate at my desk - so it isn't anything new. Besides - have I not been here at home working remote for the past 4 years? Was it 2019 or 2020 that I was sent home?  I don't even remember now.  If the office was closer, I would go back to the office to work. I feel I would get more done there. Be more organized. Got to clean off my desk.  One EA sent a photo last week of her work area and commented that she cleaned it off and it felt so much better to work in - and suggested we all take photos of our work area and share.  I looked at my desk and all the 'stuff' I have all over it.  Nope, not going to happen.  I basically use my desk for work only, but I use the drawers and the top of it for everything else.  Could I be considered a 'clutterer'?  I have papers, tax stuff, medical stuff, books, cards, - you name it and it is probably on top of my desk! Some day I will clean it off. Maybe the day I retire?  I have my laptop and a monitor on my desk. It isn't big enough for much more with the tray full.  I do need to go through it though. A project for a rainy, unbusy day, perhaps. Rain? What is that?

I received 5 boxes from Amazon on Tuesday and managed to hide them in here and open them. Not that I don't want hubby to see them; I don't care. Some was birthday; some was Christmas - and a couple books. What can I say? I love books!  But one was a pre-order of Jonathan Cahn's latest and it arrived Tuesday. I haven't shown hubby.  He likes reading his books. I read one and it was real eye-opening, but I have other books that I want to read as well.  I just don't have that much time to read like I want to - and after staring at the computer all day, my eyes are tired at night and as I try to read, they want to close. Happened again last night.  Anyway - the book came and I'm hoping hubby will forget about it - and I can make it a Christmas gift to him.  He and I both are getting harder and harder to buy for as far as gifts. We don't need anything. If we want it, we usually buy it.  So when I can find something that I know he will like, I try to save it for birthday, anniversary or Christmas.  And Christmas is next. He doesn't read this (at least he hasn't commented on anything so although he mentions on occasion about my writing in my blog), so I'm hoping he doesn't.  

I'm running out of things to write that would make any sense so guess I'll close this off.  Hope that you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Yesterday was over the top

 - very busy! I kid you not, I couldn't have taken a lunch break if I wanted to!  But - I did jump off about 3:15PM after another phone call discussion with someone and head over to CVS to get my flu shot.  I have to get it; it's mandatory in order to keep my job.  So I get it as soon as it's available so that I can get it over with.  I have the paperwork to send in to the company to prove that I got it. Yep, we have to provide proof we received the vaccine. Understandably why.  My arm is blotchy red around the shot area but at least it isn't sore.  

Today will prove to be another busy day.  We have 'town hall' 3 times today and I'm back-up - which means I will be at my desk and listening to everything 3 times.  I really have a lot to get done and I don't have time for this, but sometimes someone's computer will mess up and the back-up person will have to take over showing the slide presentation.  That someone is me, at least today.  I'm usually the back-up because I don't want to have to do it.  They asked me to do this first one at 8AM, but I suggested we bring in another executive assistant to do them and I remain back-up.  They agreed so I don't have to do it.  YAY!

Worked all day yesterday on the male boss's trip to Colorado next week.  Sometimes I just want to... well, he frustrates me.  He asked one executive to meet him for breakfast one day.  They said they couldn't. So he asked another.  Then the other came back and said they could. So then it's up to me to figure out how to make it work. And I threw up my hands when I discovered the one he asked for breakfast is an hour away from his hotel in the opposite direction of the one he is to meet late morning; he can't meet for lunch because the company picnic starts at noon and he has to be there; that is why he is flying there, so it's to be a late morning 'hot chocolate' for him with the 2nd one - who is 45 minutes north of where the one he is meeting that is an hour south, then he has to be in yet another city 30 minutes away for the picnic.  I told him 'we have to talk' this morning.  When, I don't know, since I have to be listening to every town hall. And he is doing a presentation during it as well, I think.  This man drives me absolutely crazy.

I had a bunch of packages delivered yesterday.  I think seven. That's a good number, don't you think?  Six from Amazon (not my fault they don't pack them all in one box!) and one from JoAnn Fabrics.  I feel it saves me money at JoAnn's to just order my yarn online if I know what color I want because then all I end up with is the yarn that I want.  They have a lot more things there besides yarn and it does tend to get your attention.  As for all my boxes from Amazon, got my L-Tyrosine that I had just ran out of; got a couple books I had pre-ordered and they shipped; a birthday gift and a Christmas gift or two. I am sitting here looking at the boxes and trying to remember what is in them.  I need to start writing things down, right? I did an excel spreadsheet last year of all the Christmas things I bought/made - I saw it the other day so need to pull it out and compare, and then create one for this year.  I've already got a start on the 'Christmas wall' - where I put all the gifts in here against the wall before I wrap.  

Which reminds me, they are 'giving' us nearly the entire week of Christmas off this year.  It's ok to have an extra day or two, but we still have to use our PTO time.  And if the office is 'officially closed', we have to take it.  Christmas is on a Wednesday this year so they have given us Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday.... and Friday if we want it. Then I think Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday the following week for New Years.  I'm watching my PTO hours because I do want to take some extra time off to do my Christmas baking.  I got cookies to make! :-)  I think they are 'forcing' people to take PTO because once you get to 240 hours you stop earning - and many people just don't pay attention and then complain when they stop receiving the hours.  By being 'forced' to take vacation days, it actually benefits them as they are getting away from work (or should be!) to recharge.  I think I have about 100 hours built up in PTO and nearly 40 hours in sick time.  We can use both for time off.  I need to check and see what is there. Of course Labor Day just took 8 hours.  Thanksgiving will take 16 hours, which is the next holiday. I forget how much I earn each pay period - but on the 17th of this month I mark 7 years with this company - where does the time go?! - so I do get nearly a day a month, I think.

And yes, I'm rambling today with nothing to talk about.  I didn't want to get up this morning; but my mind started waking up and regardless of what the body says, the mind overrules. I gave up and got up about 4:40AM.  The body is tired and wanted to rest. The mind said "Get up you lazy thing! It's time to start the day!"  Whatever.

Not sure what is going on with hubby.  He has been pretty grumpy lately, moreso than usual. He acts like he is 'overwhelmed' at times. I know part - or most - is that both hearing aids went out on Monday. And he lets everyone know he can't hear. He kept showing me how he only had so much time left on one and the other was already 'dead'.  He did go yesterday and there is a short in one and it has gone back to be fixed; the other they had to replace the battery that they had replaced the week before. So hearing out of one ear I am told I need to make sure he is watching me speak so he can hear me.  Does that mean if I mutter under my breath as I turn away that he can't hear me?  Asking for a friend.

Got an invite to a great-grandson's first birthday party later this month.  Got an invite for another's 2nd birthday this Friday.  Hubby let me know he would not be going to one later this month and gave me his reason. Doesn't matter. It's still a great-grandson and I will go, at least for a little while.  And I'm going to leave all that right here. 

I read a chapter on Journaling again this morning in yet another book.  I've read this one before, and I've read other books that refer to the importance of journaling.  I figure this blog is like my journaling, is it not? I give my life story here! I know, b-o-r-i-n-g, huh!  But I do, on occasion, take my book journal and will write out several pages in prayer or asking God to help me understand some things, asking Him to help me get through each day; asking Him to heal my heart; heal my family; restore what the enemy has taken away from us.  Some prayers I rewrite on a daily basis it seems. Yes, I know that God hears my prayers the first time. But, like the persistent widow, sometimes we need to press in to God and continue to ask Him for what we want.  But we also need to remember that He sees the bigger picture.  We may ask for someone to be healed.  He sees someone becoming a Christian because He didn't heal that person.  We pray for financial peace; He sees it as teaching us to manage our money better.  There are always a good side to prayers not answered, and I know He sees the bigger picture.  Sometimes we see that agony about something is prolonged, but maybe the lesson isn't for us, but for someone who watches us.  If we are walking with God on a daily basis, He will provide all we need to get through whatever it is that we need help with.  He may not give us the answer, but He will walk with us through it.  And you know what? Sometimes that is better because it teaches us that in the hard times, we are not alone, but God is with us.  Grateful for that.

2 Chronicles 16:9:  For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.

The Lord is not a respecter of persons. He rewards equally all those who seem Him fervently - which is why some don't' enter into much in God. As He looks upon the moderate zeal with which they seek Him, if He were to give them the power and glory they requested, He would be violating all those who have sought Him with so much more intensity.

So with what intensity are you seeking God today?  Is it a casual 'hi there', or do you actually sit down and center your thoughts on Him and let Him love on you?  Haven't done that before?  Take a few moments away from distractions.  Close your eyes. Turn your thoughts to Him. Ask Him what you will. Even if it is just to get through the day. And then wait. And listen. You may - or may not - 'hear' Him answer you.  Depends on if you have conditioned your ears to hear.  It sometimes takes time to hear His voice. But when you know it, you know it.  Have a thought pop in your mind that you need to do something that you normally wouldn't do? That may be God.  Listen. Hear. Act.

I can remember one years, many many years ago, I was on my knees praying and the thought popped in to my mind "Send your sister $20". I hadn't talked to her for a couple days so I didn't know why - but I did what I was told.  When she received it, she called me crying.  She was a single mom at that time and she said she had a need (don't remember what it was for now) and needed $20 to meet that need - and God provided.  What if I hadn't listened to God?  It's not that I did anything on my own. I wouldn't have sent her money. But God.  When you listen to what He says to you, or nudges you to do, you bless others, and in return, you get blessed.  God is good.  He is always watching, always caring, always loving us.

Blessings!

Tuesday and back to work day!

 Sigh.  Some leadership just will not take a day off even when it is handed to them!  I glanced at emails yesterday morning and there were 5 in my work inbox.  By last night there were 25.  I did see one from my male boss asking me a question - and he was supposed to be camping with his family!!  I did not open it, I didn't respond to it.  I WAS taking the holiday off!  But, will need to face all the emails this morning. That's my job.  But for right now, my time is mine.  At least for another hour.

Yesterday was a good day.  I did my workout and my trainer, Morgan, put me through the wringer.  As usual.  She started me off on the machine that almost brought me to tears the other week. But, I got through it and we moved on.  She was tough, for sure.  I go back tomorrow and we will work on core. I think I'm finally figuring out her workouts.  The first one in the week is always going to be legs.  Good thing - it also affects my butt and hopefully, in time, it will begin to shrink.  The second workout of the week is what she alternates.  But it shows that that with Morgan, it shot up 3 pounds.  Which tells me that Trayden gave in at times too many times to my whining and didn't push me to do more.  Morgan brings me to tears.  Not because it hurts, but because I lose my strength no matter how hard I try to get it done. I was glad to see the muscle.  Now to change my diet around and start eating better - and less.

After my workout we came home and got things together to head to the daughter's.  Food was great; the potato salad went over well.  I had to keep some here at home for hubby, and I did put some in a throwaway container and after we got back took up to the lovely DIL as she had to work yesterday, to take home to my son.  I hope she remembered it.  And left him some. I told her she could eat some before going home. :-)  I hope he enjoys it.  All that I took was nearly eaten. I told my daughter she and the granddaughter could split what was left, but she informed me she wasn't sharing it; it was hers, and promptly put in a container and in her refrigerator.  I love it that the kids like some foods that I make.  All they have to do is ask and I'll make it for them.

I did get out in the pool with my daughter and granddaughter for about an hour.  They had bought me a special raft so I got to sit back and enjoy the pool.  It was restful and relaxing.  Getting out, we soon headed back home and I had time to run the potato salad up to my lovely DIL.  Hubby watched the news on TV (well, he slept an hour through it), then turned it off.  I tried to read but my eyes kept closing - so I went to bed about 7:30PM!  Hubby wasn't happy about it; it left him up alone.  I woke up at 8PM, but went back to sleep and other than his tossing and turning waking me up during the night, I did sleep until 4:30AM and got up.  I've been taking my watch off at night to charge, rather than charge it while I'm in her doing my quiet time.  It has my alarm on it - and since I have it and my phone in another room (in here), I don't hear the alarm when it goes off.  And that's ok. Waking up when I wake up is a good thing. It gives my body that little more of rest that I need.  

It is barely getting light out and the neighbors are already out doing stuff - they may be getting ready to go on a morning walk. They have a small dog so are probably walking it.  I have mentioned numerous times I'd love a small dog.  Surprisingly, hubby commented the last time I did that I would have to be the one to walk it.  I laughed.  I was the one to walk Sheeba and our other large dogs.  I want a smaller one because I can walk them, but also because it would bark if someone was near.  Hubby couldn't hear anything, and I don't pay that much attention.  Not sure what kind of dog I would want, but would go to a shelter and take my time looking.  We got Marley from a shelter.  She was the best dog and I still miss her.  She is the black one who we had to put down with lymphoma.  Broke my heart.  Maybe another lab wouldn't be too big.  I am in no hurry to go look. But someday.  I'll never forget years ago when I was mentioning I wanted a small dog to climb up next to me and want love and attention..... and hubby responded with 'why can't you lavish your love and attention on me?!"  HAH!  

Isaiah 48:17 (NIV):  This is what the Lord says - your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."

So many times I ask God what we should do, which way should we go... and what do I do?  I don't wait for Him to lead me, but take off and make my own decision.  Do you do that as well?  We are an impatient people, don't you think?  Sure, it doesn't mean that we choose wrong every time, but sometimes God wants us to just wait on Him and let Him direct us.

Our biggest issue right now in asking for direction, I believe, is our choice in churches to attend.  Yeah, I am bringing that up again. It's a big thing.  I wonder if this is God's leading.  We would like a small church in which the Bible is preached and we can become involved and be a part of.  Simple request, right?  We made the choice to attend the Pentecostal church these last 4 years and we haven't really felt happy in it at all.  But some friends love it and .. well, it has made me wonder where I am spiritually at times.  They go on and on about God being in the service, and I'm sitting there thinking it wasn't that good at all, and I didn't feel God was there!  So I begin to wonder about my own spiritual walk. I question it. I debate it. I seek God and ask Him if it is 'me'.  Seriously.  People are friendly at church; we tried to start a small group and two people came for two weeks and then dropped out.  Granted, one had an accident and was injured. The other came up with excuses on why they couldn't attend. We're still friends on Sunday mornings. But... the connection is not there. Does that make sense? I know I've hashed this out in here before; my apology for boring you again.  Just leaving isn't that simple.  We have made a few friends who come to greet us on Sunday mornings. A year ago we missed three Sundays and the pastor's wife text'd me that they missed us and hoped all was well.  But.  

At the Sunday service at Inspira, the facility I spoke at, I was talking to one of the chaplains that came to help with communion.  I asked, during the conversation, where he went to church.  He told me CCV, and he also told me how he started going there.  He was invited by a cousin; he attended as a non-Christian, and cried through the entire service.  The pastor saw him afterwards and asked if he was ok. In the midst of hundreds of people, Pastor Ashley had seen this one man struggling with his sins.  He gave his life to Jesus.  Come to find out, the man who founded CCV was the man who had married he and his wife 30 years earlier! And he happened to be there that night and were remembered by him.  He said they have been going there every Saturday night since.   And then, when I went to work out yesterday I wore a CCV shirt I had gotten one week when I was there.  Morgan asked me if that was where I went - and I told her no, not really, but do go occasionally.  She goes there as well!  That was two.  Now I know my daughter and SIL go there and are involved in a small group.  That has not affected our decision on whether to go there or not.  But there are these two people, within two days, that have brought that church back to mind.  We do enjoy the church and the people are always so friendly.

I mentioned to hubby yesterday that we both really like our Sunday mornings at home.  And November - April at least one to two and a couple months three Sundays we will be at the RV parks - plus any Sunday afternoons at Inspira.  I don't have any more scheduled right now at Inspira, but expect to be asked on occasion.   We like staying home on Sunday mornings; we like watching Jentezen Franklin at Free Chapel.  We love our time alone with God extended, when we don't have the RV park to go to.  So - I suggested why didn't we go back to CCV on Saturday nights.  And, if we have something going on that we miss Saturday night, we can always watch it Sunday morning.  We enjoy the music (it isn't screaming and making us feel we are watching a concert performance with all the yelling and jumping), and we love the preaching from the Bible.  They have small groups we can join if we choose. Or not. Hubby has two Bible studies he already goes to during the week.  With working, I don't feel I have a lot of evenings to give up.  My Tuesdays are with my daughter most weeks.  And, we go to dinner with friends once or twice a month.  Anyway - I'm getting to it - I mentioned to hubby why didn't we think about it - and he said he'd take a week to pray about it and let me know.  He commented about the Christian Church we watched online - but it was the associate pastor and we weren't real thrilled with having one verse after another read to us and a comment made.  We like food in the Word, if you know what I mean.  But they do have small groups going already, and it appeared to be a fairly small church.  May need to attend in person one time and see; but will let hubby pray about it and work it out. We are not charismatic nor Pentecostal and even after four years of attending, just don't feel like we belong.  I guess we are just 'old folks'.

Stay tuned; you will probably read my writing about it once again.  And now, I need to jump off here and in to the shower for my workday is about to start.  Short week that will be extremely busy.  I'm trying to have a better attitude about it.  Work, I mean. Even what I don't enjoy doing.  But I do like having extra money to do what I want to with. It does make a difference.  I love being able to help people when they need help. I love being able to give things away.  It's all for Him, anyway.

Blessings!

It's Early to the Gym Day!

 and I'm already wishing I didn't agree to a 7:30AM appointment since I had the day off for Labor Day.  But then, I do stay on track with my training and I can come back and finish my reading.  I made the potato salad yesterday; I'm drinking my breakfast protein shake now - I should have at least another hour or so in here when I return.  When I went out to make my shake, hubby was skimming his phone.  He had to come in to the kitchen with me and 'help' me make my shake.  LOL  I honestly don't know what he'd do if I wasn't around.  Then again, he may surprise me.  

Although I am pretty sure I approved everyone's timecard on Friday, I turned on my computer this morning to jump online to double check.  It's no big deal if I didn't get one approved; all I approve are salaried and they would get paid, approved or not.  But I just want to double-check.  Then again, why is it that I am sure I did this on Friday, and I feel I need to double-check myself this morning?  Maybe I'll just turn the computer back off.  Trust myself.

Yesterday was a busy day - sorta.  The morning was reviewing the message, retyping some of the songs I had selected; watched the Christian Church's service that I found the other day - we weren't impressed with the associate pastor's message.  He is a teacher, not a preacher.  There is a difference.  Hubby listened to our pastor speak; I was taking my shower and getting dressed.  He heated up soup for his lunch; I passed.  We headed over the facility and got set up, did the message.  Afterwards we drove to a friend's house to pick up the RAW that he was going to bring to church for us (if we had gone).  Coming back home, it was nearly 4PM and the day was done.  I did experiment with dinner and did up some chicken in the air fryer and tried some different spices and cheese on it.  Not bad.  Hubby liked it; I didn't care about it so much.  Just give me plain fried chicken and I'm happy.  After that clean up, I got busy on the potato salad - hubby says it is good.  We did watch a movie last night after I got the potato salad made and then had about 30 minutes of quiet before heading off to bed. 

I haven't talked with my daughter so I'm not sure what time she wants us over there.  Guess I'll check in with her after the gym.  It's always good to be around family - at least for me.  Being with family brings me great joy and gives me memories to think on as I age. :-)

A friend of mine writes a blog that is very good.  She posted it yesterday (I get it in my emails) but I didn't take time to read it until this morning.  She works for Charlie Kirk, if you know who he is.  I think he is the head of Turning Point, or something like that.  BigViewSmallWindow.blog if you want to check it out. She is tough.  She fights for our children in the schools.  Most recently that I'm aware of, is the Washington School District, I think it was, who didn't want Christian teachers in their school because they thought they'd be 'preaching' to the children.  Not sure how that turned out as I haven't been attentive to all her posts.  I get them in my emails and will sometimes skim, but not really read.  Know what I mean?  She is good.  But today's article titled 'Shots Fired' was really good.  Take a moment and read it.

Psalm 109:1a (TPT)  God of all my praise.....

Yes, there is more to that verse, and more to that psalm, but when I picked up my Bible this morning and read it - those words really stood out to me.  God of all my praise..  I love that.  I also love God of all my faith.   That is what I believe, what makes me who I am - because of who He is.  He is the God of all my praise.  He is the God of all my faith.  He is God, and I am not.  No, I don't have to remind myself of that (some people actually DO have to remind themselves they are not God!) for I am small and feeble.  All I am and all I have comes from Him, but I am not Him.  And, neither are you.  Whether you follow Jesus or not, God is your Maker.  Jesus is your salvation. The Holy Spirit is your Peace. 

Sitting here just thinking.  Remembered to take my blood pressure. I like how it tracks on my phone. 129/78.  Working out has helped bring it down, I think.  I read in the instructions one time to empty the bladder, sit in a chair with feet flat on the floor.  Take several deep breaths, and then take it.  I try to follow that procedure - it does help to calm the body down- the deep breaths I mean.  I didn't know the bladder could affect your blood pressure, but according to what instructions came with my BP cup, it does.  My BP always goes up at the doctor's office - so I can show her what it is on a daily basis.  I do not want to take BP pills and will fight against it as long as I can.  Doctor's assistants are usually incorrect anyway.  Last year when I went the assistant barely measured me and then told me I was 5'2".  Now I have been 5'3" for a long time, but I thought, OK, maybe I've started the old age shrinking.  It really concerned me, though, so I got up against the wall and marked my spot and measured.  I'm still 5'3".  Same issue with BP.  They are in such a hurry at times they don't do it right.  They don't hold your arm where it is at rest.  I can't explain it, but my 'old' doctor always held my left arm (he always took it again about 15 minutes after his assistant left. It was always lower.). Not sure what that does specifically, but it does make it lower.

Well, I got to go get dressed and get ready to head to the gym.  Don't have anything really to share now anyway. Hubby will be sticking his head in here shortly if I don't get moving to remind me to get ready. He's already in the bathroom getting ready - and we don't need to leave for another 20 minutes.  Of course, I'm still not dressed.... guess I need to go do that.

Hope that you have a wonderful day and spend some with family - do something fun.  Put together a puzzle; work on a project; read a book. Take care of you.

Blessings!

This will be a short one.... or not...

 We both really do not want to go to our current church this morning.  We have again been discussing.  There is nothing wrong with the church; there is nothing wrong with us.  It just isn't our style of worship and message projection; it isn't what we are used to.  We have given it four years and still don't feel 'home' there, don't feel a part of the church.  We have friends there, we have participated in activities.  When there was a need, we always helped.  But our hearts are not there.  And today, hubby has already voiced he doesn't want to go.  Unfortunately, neither do I.  So what is the problem?  I have some RAW ordered and the guy who makes it for us will be there this morning.  Now I can do one of two things.  1) text him and ask if we can pick up later.  2) ask Tom to drive over and pick it up and come back home.  I threw out a fleece this morning... it hasn't been picked up yet, as to what to do.  

I was searching for churches yesterday and found a Christian Church about 9 miles from here.  Not far. I think it was a 17 minute drive; same as now.  What I read about it int he reviews, I liked.  I need a service that will draw me to God, and hear His voice, not so much yelling and jumping around that I can't hear Him. We've tried, we've really tried.  And, with my RV preaching season coming up in November, and doing the facility occasionally in the Sunday afternoons, I need to draw near to God and feel His strength, not a lot of banging on the door to get in.  Does that make sense.

I did it.  I finally straightened up my closet yesterday.  I took the shelving that has come apart out in the garage - well, most of it - and put it back together and stuck it in my closet.  I still don't have it quite organized yet, but at least things are out of the middle of the floor and it looks much better. I still need to get the stepstool and work on the stuff on the top shelves, but can't do it while hubby is home.  Also, I didn't try on clothes.  I did let go of two nice skirts.  With 6-8 inches of fat that made them not close, well, I knew I wouldn't be in those any time soon.  They are so old and unworn that there was dust on the top of the skirt.  Does it even make sense to keep them any longer?  No.  It doesn't, as much as it grieved me to let them go.... but it also made me grieve over how much fat I have now gained that I can't get rid of it. I've got to do better.  I've got to cut out the fat stuff and ... Maybe I will go back to weight watchers.  I can eat whatever I want as long as I stay within my number of points and I can eat real food.  I just track how much of the food I eat and what the points are.  I've got to get this weight off; it is depressing me.  I can't try on clothes when I'm depressed.  It makes it worse.

And the clothing industry is no help at all.  I still have 4 pair of jeans that I will refuse to get rid of.  The jeans I currently wear are a size 12.  I bought jeans in size 12.  Same size, same manufacturer, same style.  I had bought 5.  One fit, the rest do not.  I refused to send them back for I am going to get into them. One way or another.  Six months down the road from now if they still don't fit I may have to make a decision.  Right now I just don't want to.  Anyway - I did the clean out of the closet and have a pile of shoes to let go of and other things - and they are still sitting outside the closet.  I didn't feel like putting them in the car and taking to Savers.  Maybe I will after the service this afternoon.  Or maybe we will do later in the week.  But I do need to move them to my car and out of my way.  Later.

I worked on the message again yesterday and need to get on it this morning.  Especially if we are going to church. I got to jump in the shower yet as well.  I changed it out yesterday morning so need to read through it a few times this morning. At least we don't have to be there until about 1:30PM.  At least lunch is prepared - sorta.  I made meatball vegetable soup yesterday too so all we have to do is heat it up for lunch.  Healthy too.

Today I need to make the potato salad for the lunch tomorrow.  That's all I was asked to bring. I guess it is 'enough'. 

Psalm 107:15-16 (TPT):  So lift your hands and give thanks to God for his marvelous kindness and for his miracles of mercy for those he loved! For he smashed through heavy prison doors and shattered the steel bars that held us back, just to set us free!

As I read Psalm 107 this morning I had to pause and read that verse a couple times.  It really spoke to me and from where I came.  God has been so kind to me.  He has shown me His miracles of mercy time and again, and I know that He loves me.  From the prison of sin that I had put myself in, He broke down the doors that held me prisoner, He shattered the bars on which I was hanging on to - and He set me free.  Free to follow Him.  Free to do what He asks me to do.  Free.

He will do that for you as well.  All you have to do is let go of the bars you cling to, the prison doors that hold you in.  Want to be free?  Want to have that heavy load lifted from your shoulders, that burden you carry?  Anger and stress and hate and unforgiveness can really weigh you down.  Want to be set free? Ask Jesus to forgive you your sins; and receive His forgiveness.  You will feel such a change in your body, in your heart and mind. There is nothing like being set free.

I watched some of The Chosen last night.  I think this is Season 4 and I'm watching it on prime video. (Hubby was watching the Notre Dame game).  In it Matthew comes to Jesus and is quite distressed and comments about how Peter has been treating him. Peter had just received his name change from Simon to Peter from Jesus.... and all the disciples felt that Jesus was elevating Peter above them all - and Matthew felt that wasn't right, considering how Peter had treated him.  

Jesus turned it around, and asked if Matthew where was the root of the problem.  It eventually came out that Matthew, when a tax collector, had overcharged Peter in taxes, he was going to turn him in to Quinius, the Roman whatever and that very morning Jesus had walked by Matthew and had said "Follow me", and Matthew got up, left everything, to follow Jesus.  As Jesus allowed Matthew to think back at the root of the problem, Matthew knew he needed to apologize to Peter for what he had done.

But listen to this - Jesus said we need to apologize and ask for forgiveness..... but that forgiveness is a gift from the one we had mistreated.  It is a gift; not to be demanded just because you apologized.  Sometimes people need to work through your apology before they can forgive you completely.  I loved that scene.  Matthew finally gets up the courage to tell Peter he is sorry.  He asked to be forgiven.  Peter's anger at Matthew rose and Peter walked away from Matthew without forgiving him.  He laid awake that night reviewing all the things Matthew had done when a tax collector, when no mercy was shown for being late on paying taxes.  Peter also remembered when he had walked out to Jesus on the water and fell in, and Jesus lifted him out; how he had fallen to his knees acknowledging Jesus as Lord. 

When they were out walking on the road, Peter made a beeline to Matthew, who was terrified at what Peter might do to him.  Peter grabbed Matthew in a bearhug and told him, "I forgive you.  To the ends of the earth and forevermore.  I forgive you."  Then Peter walked away, leaving Matthew stunned and in tears (and me as well).  Forgiveness.  It is so freeing, not only for the one apologizing, but the one forgiving.  Don't stay behind in prison, let Jesus open the doors and set you free from all that you have been holding on to.

You ARE good enough to be forgiven.  Jesus forgave the murderer on the cross, remember?  He will also forgive you.  Will you ask Him?

Blessings!