You are always on my mind....

 I love that song by Willie Nelson.  It was sung many, many years ago, and the meaning it meant at that time and the meaning it is to me this morning are so different.  For then the song was meant for two people in love... you know the first bloom of love when you just can't get enough of the person you have fallen hard for.  You are thinking of them constantly, wanting to be with them.

That is the way our Heavenly Father is.  We are always on His mind.  No matter what we go through, no matter the happiness, no matter the pain or sorrow, no matter what, we are always on His mind.  Yes, He loves us so much, so unconditionally, that there is nothing we can do to separate ourselves from His love.

It's interesting, this morning, that this thought has come to me.  As I read my Bible this morning, I'm reading in Ezekiel and God is not happy with His people and is telling them so through His prophet. I finished my reading, thinking about what this world is like today and the things God accused Israel of, and the things that is being done today.  So much sinfulness!

As I did my prayers, my heart was drawn to my daughter-in-love who lost her job this past weekend.  My heart goes out to her.  But I am acutely aware of how close she was to her mother and I do not want to take her mother's place, but I want to let her know that I love her and I care about her.  I have a plan.... and hope to accomplish it this week.  I just want to let her know I love her and I am praying for her.  

Part of me is excited about this new journey God is going to take her through.  I know right now things can seem pretty scary.  I've been there, and I understand the fear and grief and all the emotions that go with this.  But I also know that as His child, He fully understands what is going on, what emotions she is feeling, and He loves her so much and longs to lavish His love upon her.  I know He has the perfect place for her.  Lord, help her to be patient and wait upon You, but also Lord, I ask that You do not delay in bringing it to her.  

I could see her teaching at the very college that honored her recently.  I can see her loving and caring on people wherever she ends up.  That is who she is.  I don't always understand her, that is true.  But I know that God has her in the palm of His hand, and that He does understand, He does love her, and He will provide all that she needs.  Thank you, Jesus.

So she is on my mind this morning, and God is on my mind this morning.  He has been so good to us and watches over us in all things.  I don't understand why some things are the way they are, why life is what it is at times, but I know that I can always lean into my Heavenly Father and He will always comfort my heart.

I love it when God is always on my mind.  Some days I wish that I didn't have to stop what I'm doing in my 'quiet time' with God and I can just stay here all day.  I long for the days that I used to be able to take off work and stay in a hermitage alone and spend the entire day just worshiping and praising God, and offering my heart up to Him in prayer and praise  Those were the days I felt the closest to Him.

I remember being up high on the mountain and crying out to God how much I wanted to know Him, to feel Him, to hear Him.  As I stood outside a building there at the top of that mountain, crying out to God to know Him, in the stillness of that moment, the wind started blowing.   I stood there for a moment, eyes closed, and letting the wind blow over me.

And God answered my prayer by bringing back to my remembrance of the story of Elijah in I Kings 19:11-18 in which Elijah obeyed God and stood on the mountain before the Lord.   The Lord brought a great wind, but He was not in it.  He brought an earthquake, but He was not in it.  He brought a fire, but He was not in it.  But then, He came in a still, small voice.....and spoke to Elijah.   The wind reminded me that I don't need to look for God in signs, but all I need to do is to be still and listen for His voice.

And He has spoken to me before.  It is not like I can call His voice to me whenever I want to hear it, but there are times that He will speak and I will know that it is Him.  It is in those moments that I want to capture every emotion I feel, knowing that I am loved, and I hear His voice.

Most times I keep so busy that I don't take time to stop and listen.  And other times I do stop and beg God to speak to me, to give me the answers that I need and want.  But He doesn't speak when I beg Him.  He speaks when He wants to.  But I have heard His voice, and I know His voice.  When you hear it, you will know His voice too.  Always be alert and ready to listen.

He also speaks through other people.  But we are not always wanting to hear from other people.  God uses even donkeys to get His message across.  And we all know a few of those, right?

What about you?  What is on your mind this morning?  Is it work?  Is it school?  Is it a loved one?  Is it your pain?  No matter what it is, God is not far from you.  No matter what you have done, He is always there.

Sit still for a moment.  Turn your thoughts to Him.  Confess your sins to Him and ask for His wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.  Ask Him to lead you to wherever you need to go.  Tell Him what you need, and that you are waiting on Him.  No matter how long it takes, you will be patient and wait upon Him to guide you to where you are to go, to show you what you are to do.  And He will.

He just might speak to you today.  It may - or may not - be audible.  But you will know that the Lord, He is God.  Love Him.  Trust Him.  Give Him all that troubles you.  And you will know His voice.

You are always on His mind.

Blessings!

It was a nice getaway....

 We did take a drive up to Prescott yesterday and it was a very nice day.  We didn't leave here until around 10AM and good thing we were not on a schedule!  We couldn't get on I-17 and were re-routed (partially because hubby wouldn't listen to me and take the 101, perhaps?) around until we got to 19th Avenue and was finally able to get on I-17 around Jomax.  But we eventually got up to Prescott.  I text'd the grandson as we were getting into town to see what he was doing.  He was watching the Raider game (they lost) and then he had to study.  He had one hour of watching and then he had to hit the books.  

We opted to let him be.  He offered to turn the TV off and come meet up with us, but we told him no.  Watch the game and then study.  We were just up for a few hours and it isn't like we never get to see him as he is down here frequently.  It worked out well for us as after driving around for a bit we finally found a parking spot near the town square.  We had to quickly find a restroom (imagine that! but it wasn't for me) and then we walked around the square.  

The grandson had told us of a pizza place near the square that he is fond of and so we also tried to find it while we were walking, but could not.  We hadn't gotten really direct instructions; just the name of it, so we just walked around looking for it.  When we were ready to head back home, talking about stopping somewhere on the way, we decided to google and see where this place was.  I had been asking siri the wrong name - so this time I just asked for Pizza in that area - and there it was.  It was very close but a block or so from the square so we drove over there and went in to eat.  Nice quaint place.  Friendly.  We ordered a supremo median pizza.

It was good... ok, I'm spoiled.  I love Sardella's pizza.  I love a good pizza with a lot of flavor.  I'm not sure what it was about this pizza - perhaps too many flavors?  They had diced very tiny all the onions and peppers, etc.  It was good, don't get me wrong, but I don't think I'd order it again.  My taste buds rebelled and I just couldn't eat much of it.  We brought home leftovers and had them for dinner last night - but I could only manage to eat one piece.  Not that I need a lot of calories it would surely pass on.

All in all, it was a nice day for a getaway trip and we had a good time.  The drive home wasn't bad and we were home mid-afternoon.  It was really just a getaway for something to do.  Walked around the square, got something to eat, and headed back home.  And we didn't argue.  Imagine that.  It was a good day.

Today is Monday and I'm back at work today.  I'm wondering how this week will go as two days are blocked out for my bosses for budget reviews.  They meet with the BIG BIG BIG bosses this week to discuss our budget needs for next year.  I know one boss is anxious because earlier in the year I had not followed my boss's instructions to go to another executive admin and have them go around about to get the CFO to approve a million dollar bill that was already several months past due.  It was making me angry because it had been in his "bucket" to approve for over a month, and his executive admin would not respond to me.  All I had done was ask her to ask him to approve and let's move on.    So, instead of going to the executive admin above me, I skipped her and went to the CEO's executive admin and asked her to ask the CFO to approve the bill.  

I had received a nice email back that he would approve it.  And he did, about two weeks later.  I guess it was that he would do it on HIS terms, not anyone else's.  Now mind you, I was the one getting the emails for the very past due billing.  Well, I had told my big boss what I had done and she gave me a tongue lashing that I did not follow her instructions, and that I did not follow business protocol (of going to the admin above me, etc.).  I didn't even bother to respond to her.  

So what if I went from one admin to another - I didn't go to the CEO or the CFO himself.  Anyway, with the budget and all, this came back to my mind the other day and my friend/boss and I discussed it.  She told me that our "big boss" is afraid that the CFO won't forget that I went to the CEO's executive admin to ask if she would ask him to sign it.  And that he would hold it against us.  Seriously?  So if that department - or her requests - do not get approved, does that mean it is my fault?  Because he can't forget that I "made him look bad" because he hadn't approved a bill that was long past due?   It finally got approved and paid, but it took months to happen.  I personally still do not see anything wrong with what I did and I would do it again.  How would the company feel to have a lawsuit against it because he wasn't approving the payment?  That is more important to me.  Like I said, it was several months past due.  Whose fault would it have been then?  UGH.

So that will probably be on all our minds this week.  It only came to my mind last week when my friend/boss and I were discussing the budgets and something was said about the other boss being worried about some thing.  I said that I was still "smarting" from her comments that day... and that is when my other boss told me what the thinking was (it would be remembered).  At this point it is like 'whatever'.  I thought we were grown-ups.

I guess this is all I have for today.  Need to start getting dressed so that I can take Sheeba for a walk today.  I had turned my ankle on Saturday so wanted to take yesterday off - and if I don't walk her, she doesn't get walked.  Many days I don't want to walk her, but, she needs to get some exercise too.

Maybe tomorrow I was have some gems of wisdom to share.  One can always hope.

Blessings!

It was fun... at least for me.

 I think we - as in my three children and I - all had fun yesterday morning as we ate breakfast together and then went through photos.  Comments were made here and there as they came across photos and it was fun to watch them pull photos out they wanted to keep.  The albums are still in the back of my car and I need to get out there and bring them in.

My plan for the rest of the photos is to (from the albums, that is for now) pull all from the albums and either throw away (people who we are not associated with now) or mail to other relatives or people who may like to have the photos.  I know I have a couple more boxes of photos and maybe in  a few months we will do this again and go through more of these.

I made comments of my own about some of the photos I saw being taken.  One was of my daughter and the oldest son - he was in the baby bed standing up so was around a year perhaps.  I'm a very bad judge of age anymore.  I was surprised my son had let the picture go and his sister took it.  I commented on it and he shrugged.  So I took a phone photo shot of it and sent to his daughter, commenting I thought she would like to have it - and she definitely did.  We can see one of her brothers in the face of her father.  I'm glad I saw that photo so that I could send it on.

I also saw a couple photos of my little sister and I when she used to come out here and we'd climb north mountain - or when we sat on a rock in Sedona for photos.  I know my daughter took one of those - so I grabbed it and took a phone photo of it and sent to my sister.  We both probably have the photos elsewhere, but it was when we both were skinny so we use these photos as encouragement.

All in all, I think we had a good time yesterday and I loved that the children all were nice to each other and seemed to enjoy going through the photos together.

The electrician had finished with the work he had to do before hubby or I got home yesterday so that is done.  Hopefully no more breakers popping.  Still need to get the bill on that.   When I ask my daughter for the bill so that I can pay it, all she will say is "ask Steve".  She won't tell me, and he won't either.

Hubby told me yesterday that (yes, he TOLD me) we are going to go to Prescott today to get away for the day.  Sheeba can stay in her pen (she does all night and does when we take her to a kennel) while we are gone.  We will just go up for the day to 'get away'.  What are we going to do?  "oh we can go walk the mall (what's left of it) and have a late lunch up there, then perhaps call the grandson who lives up there to meet up with us somewhere, then come back home".  It sounds like a nice plan, but on my days off from work, I'm content to stay at home.  But, I kept my mouth shut and just said 'ok'.  Of course he will drive, which means I will crochet to keep busy.

Well, I hear hubby moving around and I have been hiding in my room for a long while.  Sheeba has been walking all around looking for me.  I need to go.  No great philosophical statements today.

Have a great Sunday.

Blessings.

Memory thinking and making...

 Yeah, today is the day my three children will gather together and go through the photo albums to take what photos they want.  Our original plans fell through the cracks last night when I got a text from the son-in-law that the electrician will be here at 7AM to turn off our power and change out the electrical box outside.  It will take about 3 hours to get everything swapped out - which means the breakfast I was going to fix here at home will be done at my daughter's house.  I thought about post-poning the gathering, but was convinced to go through with it at another location.  That's ok.  I loaded up the photo albums in my car last night and have the food together in the refrigerator to grab this morning.  Hopefully I won't forget anything.

Hubby is going to another session this morning on a 'class' he has been attending at another church.  He may be home before the electrician is gone.  Which could be a good thing to see if everything is working.  And I expect it will be.  I knew the electrician was to come today, but I had forgotten the fact that all the power would be shut off.  Or just hadn't thought about that.  

I don't expect it to take too long for the children to go through the photo albums.  One will just flip through and go no, no, no, no.... lol.  Another will linger and ask questions of who is and what was this about.  Another... well, who knows what he will do.  All three are different and have different personalities and view memories and life differently from the others.  

I did decide to keep two of the albums for now.  Thinking about taking and sharing just to see if they'd like to see them.  Then they can decide who would eventually get them.  I have one I had created when my mother died.  Today would have been her 101st birthday I think.  She was born in 1918 I think (wow that seems a long time ago).  

Uh oh - I just got busted. Hubby came in and here I am typing.  At first I thought perhaps I'd just keep typing, then like a child hiding something, as he went into the closet, I quickly put the computer away to pretend I was reading.  He comes out and asks if I am working.  I just said no.  He left the room and I grab my computer again.

Now why did I do that?  Why did I feel I needed to "hide" what I was doing?  Because he always has a comment to make when I'm not doing what he thinks I should be doing and I also don't want him reading this blog.  I don't need his comments to drag me down, or his questions to make me clam up.  Those of you who know him, know what he does.  I fight depression, I don't want to live there.

Just finished a fitbit challenge with some of the children and grandchildren.  I usually lose, but I do give it a shot.  But some of my children take this to a higher level of competition.  It's not a big deal.  I know my son-in-law walks a lot during the day with his work.  The grandson and he are always - always - competing against each other - and that's ok.  Well, this time my youngest son wasn't happy that their fitbit's don't automatically sync.  Mine does, and I was looking to find out how to do set it to do that so that I could show the grandson, but I couldn't find it.   Mine used to not automatically sync but all of a sudden it does.  Not a big deal except when you are in a challenge it helps to see what your competition is.  It's just a fun thing to do for me, but I have a feeling I will have to do some separate challenges in the future cause some just take the fun out of it.

I'm on two challenges for this weekend from work and I really do not want to get started today with walking Sheeba, but I will have to if I am going to get some steps in.  My company uses something called Virgin Pulse and I am friends with numerous co-workers on it and they (and I ) are constantly challenging each other.  One that challenged me (and others) this weekend - well, she leaves me in the dust because she runs every morning.  She is usually about 30K plus ahead of everyone else at the end.  And you know what?  I don't care.  It's a connection.  She will always be ahead of me.  But the key is that I am doing something healthy for myself.  I wish I could run, but I cannot.  So I walk.  I wish I didn't always have to walk Sheeba for she slows me down some in that I have to keep an eye out for other dogs and her wanting to 'meet' them.  And stop to pick up her poop  Oh well.  At least I get some steps in.

Need to get moving and get dressed if I am going to go walk her before I gather my things to head to my daughters.  Not used to having to move on Saturday mornings; I've been not walking Sheeba on weekends.  But, need to get moving.

It's going to be a beautiful day - hope you have a great one!

Blessings!

It must be because it's Friday.... and the weekend is coming!

 I don't know what played with my mind last night, but I struggled with sleep.  We had a "normal" evening where we had dinner (wings and veggies) and hubby watched TV and I crochet for awhile.... and we went to bed around 8:30-ish as I have been doing due to work.  I fell asleep right away and slept hard - until about 11:15PM and mother nature said she wanted to see me.  I tried to ignore her, but she insisted. (polite way of saying I had to go pee).

Afterwards I come back to bed and weird dreams start.  I'm not even aware I'm dreaming.  But these dreams were of the really weird state.  One particular dream that I still remember is hubby and I were somewhere and were to meet an old co-worker of mine from over 20 years ago.  Seriously.  I don't remember what pretense we were to meet him for, but I remember him carrying in this long narrow box when he did show up.  

But then I'm confused and tired and I guess irritated and asked what that was about.  J told me that he was selling coffee and wanted to sign us up to sell it too.  I'm going "what?"  After a few minutes hubby is hollering at me what is this all about.  I'm trying to tell J (my friend) that I will buy coffee from him but don't want to sell it.   The longer the discussion went on (and what the discussion was, I have no ideal; I just remember the disruption of my time and sleep) the more irritated I got and finally said "fine, I'll sell your coffee - sign us up and let me get out of here!"  Then I woke up.

I guess actually my fitbit alarm must have gone off.  Then I was so tired and exhausted I didn't want to get up so I laid there until it went off again 5 minutes later.  I get up - and nearly walked into my jewelry box standing in the corner.  Found my way back to the bathroom and on to the 2nd bedroom where I do my quiet time.  I snuggled into my chair, wrapped my blanket about me, and tried to go back to sleep....when I hear hubby coming (so I quickly turn the light on) to bring me my coffee.  It may be a two cup morning.

Work has been really busy and draining this week.  I'm feeling pretty tired today and my calendar starts with a 7AM meeting with one of my 'big' bosses.  The top boss, in fact.  We need to review her calendar for the next two weeks and see what I need to help her prepare for.

So now I have read my Bible and my books and sit here on the computer.  I want to walk Sheeba this morning but it doesn't start to get light until after 6AM.  And I have to be on the computer by 7AM.  It may be a short walk today. I really am so tired that I would rather just sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee out in the cool air, but I have walk challenges going on with the family and with work.  I won't win either one because of my limitations on walking.  Walking Sheeba is good for me, it gets me out and walking.  But many times I wish I walked alone because I could walk faster and farther.  But, well, lets not go there.  Hubby walks alone (and Sheeba is HIS dog) and then comes back and tells me how far he got to walk.  With work, I can't walk a long distance, and with Sheeba stopping to do her dumps and I have to clean  it up, I'm time limited.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Saturday - and it is going to be a fun morning!  Hubby will be leaving around 6AM to go to a meeting and all three of my children are coming over to go through photo albums.  It's time I let go of photos.  I started at one time to go through and separate the photos, but when all three are in the photo - who would want it and who would get it.  This way they can choose what they want and leave what they don't.  A granddaughter has already told me she would like all the photos that her dad doesn't want and she will scan and keep for them.  I'll need to go through and eliminate those that are of no consequence, but I will let her have them.  It will be fun to relieve some of the memories we have together.  Their dad kept the majority of their photos; literally went through the photo albums and took them out when he moved me out.  It is what it is and we have survived.  

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow morning.  I have breakfast planned out in my mind and after a quick walk with Sheeba will get started on it.  Or she may not get a walk tomorrow.  I've gotten lazy on the weekends and not walked her at all.  During the day it is still too warm.  It's morning or evening.  Will see.  Ya know, it seems my world is spinning about Sheeba, doesn't it! LOL

I hear hubby in his bathroom getting ready to head out for his Friday morning Bible study.  He started that back up a week ago.  I'm glad for it gives him something to do.  He drives me crazy.  He also eats out more than most people with his friends.  I don't really care - as long as he doesn't go back to the Biscuit Cafe - he went there alone and had breakfast one morning - and got steak and eggs and juice, etc - and spent $30!!  For breakfast!  Needless to say, he won't do that again.  I don't work so he can spend hard-earned money on one meal.  Just saying.

One more week and my daughter and I will be taking the youngest son's daughter away for a weekend getaway.  Looking forward to that.  Still not sure what we will do since her interest's don't seem to be the same as ours (crochet/knit).  We will find something to do together.  I bought some nail stuff so we can do our nails together.

I read something this morning that was talking about low self-esteem.  There really isn't such a thing, it is really pride and self-centeredness.  Figure that one out.  We may think of ourselves as having not much confidence, but in that thought, it's all about us.  Our pride in ourselves. Our self-centeredness.   God's Word says that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.  It also says in Him we live and move and breathe.

So when we feel depressed, or have low self-esteem, it is only pride in ourselves that we are falling prey to.   There is a difference between pride in ourselves and giving glory to God for the ability He placed in us to succeed and to be able to do all that He has for us.  HE gives us the ability.  Our glory should go to Him alone, not to ourselves.

Something to elaborate on another day.  For now, gotta go and get ready to walk Sheeba.   Wherever you are in your emotions, your feelings, always praise God.  He created you, and nothing you do has ever surprised Him.  He knows what you are going to do, even before you do it. He knows it.  And He's waiting for you to turn to Him for His help, and to give Him glory.

Hallelujah!  He deserves all the glory.  

I've gone from struggling to stay awake....

 to smiling this morning.  I just read my son's blog, and I'm praising God for answered prayers!  (I'm still waiting for his birth certificate to show up).  I'll talk about that in a moment, but a few other comments first.

Here I am this morning, for some unknown reason, feeling really tired this morning.  I think I slept well enough, but I did have an extremely busy day at work yesterday making organizational charts in the afternoon which requires a lot of concentration to make sure you get everything right.  I also worked out with some of my light weights, trying to build up my strength.  I also walked Sheeba about a half mile further than I have for awhile.  Did that all contribute to my tiredness?  Probably.

Struggling to stay awake - and not succeeding really well.  I did my reading, closed my eyes as I was praying, and then my fitbit starts buzzing as it has different alarms set on it - intentionally.  My fitbit wakes me at 4:05AM (cause I usually set the alarm on the clock for 4AM and if I woke up before, I was afraid I'd not get up right away).  Then it goes off I think at 4:15 to make sure I'm up.  Then it goes until 5:00, then 5:30AM.  The last one woke me just now.  So I pull out my computer to read my son's blog first, and that wakes me up and I am smiling.

He posted a photo of our beautiful little great granddaughter.  She is priceless.  So full of life and joy and wonder.  Because he mentioned more were posted on facebook, I just had to go so see!  Then he shares another surprise.

I think I talked about surprises a post or so ago.  How God surprises us sometimes.  I think I used another word, but that escapes me at the moment.  But my son got surprised.  An answer to prayers.  His wife had gone over to work on their old house - and found a stack of cards which she brought over to him.  In this stack of cards were business cards, unused gift cards, and..... his social security card. (Thank you, Jesus!)  Now he can contact the workplace that he had hopes of working for and get started working.  He has had such difficulty trying to get his birth certificate (still unfound) and a replacement for his social security card since the pandemic has closed everything.  

I love surprises.  I love it when we don't know if God will answer, we wish He would, we believe He can, but don't know if He will.  And He does.  Yes, this was probably just a simple misplacement of business cards, gifts cards, and the social security card that probably fell out of my son's wallet several months ago.  He hadn't missed any of them.  You know how it is with us women and our purses.  Don't ask me what I have in mine.  In fact, I rarely carry it with me now.  I have everything stuck in my phone so don't need the pens/pencils/papers/kleenex/etc. that I stick in there.  Now I'll carry it when I go back to work, but just running to the store, I don't need it.  

Anyway, I can't tell you what all I have in it.  And I imagine most men could not tell you what they have in their wallets.  They do the same thing we do - they search to see if something is in there.  And, if it falls out, more than likely unless it is something you use frequently, you won't even miss it.

What if it had fallen directly into the trash?  It was behind the trash can.  What if my daughter in love had picked it up and put in the trash, not going through it?  No one would have ever known his social security card was in that stack, had she not checked to see what was all there.   All I can say is 'thank you, God, that You heard prayers for this simple little card that was creating such havoc in my son's life, and You kept it from falling into the trash many months ago, so that my son could have a 'surprise' moment.'   We don't know why the delay.  We don't know why it fell out.  We don't need to know. All we need to understand, is that You allowed it to be found.  Thank you.

Yeah, see what I love surprises?   My prayer for you is that you will keep your heart, mind, and eyes open to see what our Heavenly Father wants to surprise you with today.  It may be just a smile from a stranger that causes you to smile back.  It may be an open door as you need to walk through it.  It may be a photo of a little loved one who pulls on the strings of your heart.  Whatever it is, enjoy the moment, for it is one our Father loves to give you.

Be ready.  Surprises do happen!

Blessings!

A new sanctuary, perhaps?

I love my new house, I really do.  It's starting to get that "lived in" look and I need to get things put away and remove some of the clutter that is starting to happen.  Part of it is because I have started my Christmas shopping.  I have to.  I have a lot of people to buy for and this year it has to be smaller than in the past, so I have started early.  By doing so I may pay a little more for things, but since I'm buying via Amazon, their price wouldn't change.  They don't have 'black Friday sales' - I don't think.  Oh wait, I think they do!  I just choose NOT to participate on those days because I could get carried away.  Why?  Because I love to give and I love to find the unusual and surprise those I love.  

I still remember a pair of golf sandals I bought for my middle child.  He was so surprised and the look on his face was priceless.  I've surprised the other two as well, I think, but there is a difference in how they express themselves.  It is getting harder and harder to find things within my price range that will surprise and bring joy.  So I just look and if I find something I think they will like, I get it.  Difference now is that I also try to find something that is useful.  Why buy something to set on a shelf or throw in a drawer, never to use?  I've done that way too much.

But back to my house.  Yesterday my son-in-law got a start on MY wishes.  He brought gardeners over to pull out bushes and cut out dead areas on a tree in our court area.  It looks almost bare now, with the big bushes gone.  I realize they were just decorative, but I didn't care for them.  They had no fragrance, nothing but being there and being decorative.   I want my roses back.  I want to smell the fragrance in the air when life is hard.  I want to sit out in the lawn chair and close my eyes and allow the flowers to cause me to relax and dream.

The roses won't be planted for a few weeks yet and for now my sanctuary looks bare.  I enjoy going out in the middle of a busy day and even though the sun may be burning down, I will lay down on a lawn chair and allow the sun to penetrate until I get too warm.  And now that the weather has cooled down, I love to just go out and sit and enjoy the quietness of the day.  Except I have to keep an eye on Sheeba.  Yeah, she usually goes with me.  All I have to say is "Sheeba, do you want to go out front?" and off she runs to the front door.  In the front, because of the fencing, she doesn't have to be leashed and is free to roam.  But in doing so, she constantly hears "no, Sheeba! Get out of there!" as she tried to find a bug under a bush.  Or tree.

I have shared with my son-in-law my dream of the sanctuary, how I would like to see it, and he has acted on it.  Over the next couple of months things will begin to be planted and life will happen in my sanctuary.   The gardeners told us they will stop by every month to make sure every thing stays trimmed and as it should be.  I'm grateful for that.  Yes, I'll have to pay them, but that's ok.  I get to enjoy the works of their hands.  I cannot trim trees or bushes.  I can plant, yes, but then what?  I would rather allow someone who knows what they are doing to take care of them for me.

So by spring, I am hoping my sanctuary will be complete.   

But we have another sanctuary within us.   One that houses our spirit.  Sometimes we need to clean up that sanctuary as well.  Did you know that our bodies are a sanctuary for God?  What we put into our bodies either honors God, or not.  I think sometimes we think too much of our bodies, and what we put in it and on it.  But, what we do with our bodies is unto God.

I know that I have not always been faithful to keep this sanctuary as clean as I should.  I allow anger or distrust or my opinions to distort it.  I fill it with food that isn't good for it.  Or I eat too much of the good food.  I don't exercise it like I should.  This body has served me well, and now every day I am reminded that it isn't as young as it used to be.  This pandemic has been hard on everyone, including me.  With being home I have eaten more - or less - than I should.  I haven't gotten the walking in that I was doing before the pandemic.  Yes, I'm walking Sheeba in the mornings but most mornings I only get a mile in - I walked more than a mile in the office when I was there!

There is a song.... hopefully I can remember all the words, "Lord, prepare me, to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true.  With thanksgiving, I want to be a living sanctuary, for You."   I'm sure I've gotten some of the words wrong, but when I sing it when I walk sometimes, I know God knows my heart and knows that is my heart's desire.  I want my heart to be His sanctuary, that He will dwell within me, and live through me.

He has a tough job with me.  I have a lot of stuff I need to let go of, inside as well as around this house. But my desire to be His, is greater than to be mine.   

Where is your sanctuary at?  Do you have a garden or a place you can just go and be alone with God?  Do you still your heart and mind and let everything go and allow Him to speak to you?  You don't have to have a specific location, you can sit in a chair and just allow God to love you.  He does, you know.  No matter where you are in life.

Clean out the closets of your sanctuary.  Take some time today and 'Let Go, and Let God' meet you, right where you are.  In your own little sanctuary.

Blessings.