It was a strange dream...

 I was really tired last night and fell asleep quickly when I went to bed.  Hubby said I was 'sawing logs' when he came to bed about 45 minutes later.  I feel like I sleep good, and according to my 'tracker', most of my sleep was core sleep.  So why am I still feeling tired and sleepy?  Anyway - where I am going with this - I had the strangest dream last night.  I'll try to be brief and accurate, but as the day goes by, so does my memory of such things.

My friend, Barb, needed a ride downtown.  I offered to take her (and you know I do NOT drive downtown if not necessary!) and I drove hubby's car (which I never drive) and we get downtown and I park in an 'outside' parking lot.  Meaning, not covered parking.  We get out of the car and we are walking about four blocks away when I realize I didn't check to see WHERE I had parked the car.  (You know when you get out of the car at the mall or store you always look for something to trigger what row, what area, you are parked in.)  So I tell Barb we need to go back to find the car, so that I know where it is.  We are going through numerous parking lots - and can not find the car!  Finally I tell Barb to go on to wherever it was she was to be and I'd get ahold of her later.  I think I was on my way to the Corporate office downtown (which I never go to on purpose - in 9 years I have been there maybe 3 times at most and I didn't drive at any time).  So Barb goes on .... and I realize I am not carrying my purse.  I need my badge to get into the office, so why don't I have my purse?  I still haven't figured out where the car is either.  I'm walking around, trying to get my bearings when I see a police station.  I go in and tell them I can't find my purse, and I can't find the car.  Did I leave my purse in the car?  Did I totally forget it and leave it at home?  

So the police graciously drive me home and I go into the house and I find my purse sitting on the counter!  Then I woke up!  A very strange dream.  I still don't know where I left hubby's car downtown in an open parking lot.... and I obviously left my friend Barb downtown alone as well!  I couldn't go back to sleep after that cause I was reviewing the dream in my mind, trying to figure out WHY was I driving Barb downtown, and WHY would I have offered to do something I don't like to do?  And WHY was I driving hubby's car?  Dreams that make no sense at that time!  If ever!

The town halls that were scheduled today for work have been moved to the 20th.  Trying to figure out what is going on, I get an email from one of the executives that had an attachment from the President, that his EA, whom he has not heard from since Wednesday, was apparently in the hospital - her brother had called to let him know. He doesn't know any information other than she is needed to take a leave of absence for awhile.  I haven't talked with her since last week either, so not sure what could have happened.  Sickness? Injury? Who knows - even her closest friend at work knows nothing.  I'm sure she has contacted her - but it is none of my business.... so I do what I know to do.... pray for her that all is well, that whatever is wrong, she will heal.  

I have a board meeting at 6AM tomorrow morning so I may or may not remember to write in here later in the day.  Just saying.... you know how when I get busy I forget things!  I do not like these 6AM board meetings and if I could give up all the board meetings, I would in a heart beat!  Oh - yeah - as for the town halls - I was told, along with another EA - that we are to work on the slides from the other executives that still need to insert into the deck.  I'm 'just' the back-up for the slide presentation - not the creator!!

This is 'nurses' week' and I need to get some things ordered for our nurses and get them mailed out.  About 230 items.  I have it on my list to order today. We were going to order from another place, but yesterday was told to order from the company store.... sigh.... and guess who gets to do it.  Oh well. When they get here, I'll get it done and get them sent out.

Our Bible study group is to meet here tonight - which means I need to put my crochet stuff away and straighten up the living room and make sure the bathroom is clean.  Also need to pull together some snacks.  I think I might make some pinwheels - Oh pickles!  I'm out of tortillas!!  So fall back is the remaining few boxes of Girl Scout cookies, some cheese and crackers maybe, well, maybe I'll do a run to the store and just pick up a few Little Debbie cakes and cut them in small bites and put out. Maybe I can find some things already together.  I don't plan to spend a lot of time on it!  I will have time after work - but may take a 'lunch break' and run to the store as well to pick them up.   I asked our leaders last night if 'we' want to take a break for the summer.... and they said "we'll get a group vote"...  I would like to meet weekly, but some want every two weeks - and with people taking off it seems like it has become monthly at best.  Will see how tonight goes.

Psalm 14:2  The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.

Have you ever sent someone a gift and then waited - and waited - and waited - for them to acknowledge the gift?  Some of you will know what I mean.  I am not saying that a 'thank you' note must be written right away - but a text message or email, a phone call - anything to let them know that your gift has arrived and thank you.  I will occasionally send someone a gift and as a rule, they acknowledge right away with a 'You shouldn't have!".  Right?   We get to the point that after a few days - and we know it has been delivered, that we will ask them "did you get it?"  I know it has happened to me a few times - and yes, it is frustrating to have to 'ask' if they received a gift that I wanted to surprise them with.  And yes, it has happened to me recently.  I waited a day and finally sent a text, asking if they had received the gift.  Oh yes, they had, but they had been to busy to pause to let me know.  Ok.  In this one instance, it has been a few days now, and I still haven't heard from them.  I kind of expected a follow-up "sorry, been real busy, but want to let you know I do appreciate your thoughtfulness".  Am I being picky here?  I just wanted an acknowledgement the gift was received - and I guess I did get that so need to let it go, huh!

How many times do we do that with God?  When He blesses us with an unexpected blessing.  Perhaps it is a rosebush that blooms and we walk by it without pausing to appreciate the fragrance of the roses.  Or perhaps we get an unexpected money gift, or a repayment of a loan we thought was gone forever....  or perhaps we have something special happen that we weren't expecting.  What do you do with that?  Do you just settle into the moment - or do you pause and look up, and just say "thanks, God"?   Maybe you were driving and a car ran the red light and just missed you, causing you to swerve.  Do you sit there and cuss the guy out (yes, I said guy; surely gals do not drive that way, right?) (Just kidding!) or do you pause and thank God that you weren't hit, that you are ok, that there wasn't an accident?

God does so many things for us - and we are so busy with our lives that we keep our eyes on what is going on - and not the One who takes care of us in all circumstances.  As Paul has said, 'I know what it is to be without, and I know what it is to have plenty....'  and God knows exactly what our needs are; He knows what is going to happen while we are out driving. He knows all things.  

God loves you 'more than you will ever remember'.  Whether you KNOW Him intimately, or know Him with head knowledge, He sees you.  He loves you. No matter what you are going through, whatever the fire is, He will walk with you all the way through that fire.  He is the only One who can help you with whatever comes against you.  Our Lord loves you more than life itself.  Oh yeah, He proved that, by giving His life up for you.

Pause for a moment and look up, and tell Him "Thank you", for bringing you 'thus far'.  We don't do that enough.

Blessings!

And we are back to Monday

 Yep - it's Monday. And two weeks from today I will be taking a week off work and we will be heading out of town for 4 days.  Well, 3 nights and 4 days.  Yesterday, as I was driving to church (it seems more and more hubby will ask if I mind driving... which I do), hubby commented he was going to get his car in for an oil change and rotate tires, etc.  I paused, and then commented, it sounds like you are planning to drive on our trip.  He told me he was going to do the driving (although I have done the driving the past 2-3 years)... and I commented back..... "well, I have told the kids I can die riding with you just as easily as sitting in a chair at home."  Needless to say, that didn't go over very well.  "What do you mean by that?"  "The kids don't want me riding with you, nor do I want to."  "Well, too bad, I'm driving on our vacation!"  Whatever.  Like I said, I can die anywhere - God controls that, hubby doesn't.  At least it is good highway all the way and it doesn't contain a lot of twists and turns.  It will be ok.  And if not, it's God's will that it's my time.

I finally got hubby to watch from the beginning The Chosen.  We started watching it at one time and of course he gets annoyed at the episode changes.  But we went to Prime Video and although there were occasional commercials, they were very short, some only 15 seconds or so.  I don't know how far we got in to it - but just let the movie keep going for about 4-5 hours I think.  I could have stayed up longer but it was after 9PM so told hubby to stop it when it ended a episode/season again.  I think we may be in 3 but am not sure.  Maybe I can get him to watch more of it tonight.

Yesterday's message at church was powerful.  Pastor John 'brought it on' and just put it out there.  Afterwards there were leaders of some small groups in the lobby and curious as to what small groups there were, I walked up to one.  I have to tell this because it is funny to me - and yet, I may have taken it wrong.  I went up to this older couple and asked about their small group. The lady, who did not recognize me (because of my dark brown hair versus my gray hair when she first met me, I'm guessing), looked at me and said "Our group is for Seniors only."  I was a bit taken aback, like 'What?  I AM a Senior!"  LOL Then she says "We meet at 1PM."  Still 'reeling' from the 'our group is for seniors only' comment, I just said "well, I work so that won't work for us." And she agreed.  I asked about others life groups and another person told me I could go online and see what all was offered.  So - tell me what do you think?  Did my dark brown hair make her think I was NOT a Senior?  Or was it just a comment that it's for Seniors only, to ensure there won't be any kids there?  I didn't comment that I was a Senior to her, but I thought it!  I was amused, to say the least.  I've thought about it, and I wonder, because most of the 'old ladies' there are white-haired and wear capris and shirts and sandals to church.... and I usually wear a dress, hose and heels and now have brown hair (which with us being gone for a few weeks, many had not seen).... does she think I'm younger than I am?  I laugh, because that is a strange thought!

I glanced at the work emails Saturday morning early and our VP of our division sent her EA and me a thank you card plus a $25 'reward' we can use for in-store gifts for working on a project.  I actually had seen the email before lunch on Saturday and was able to talk to my favorite boss about it.  She knew about the card.  But I had to explain to her that all I did was get all the nurses' home addresses from HR.  This VP's EA and I were to get together and bag up about 175 nurses bags in envelopes and take to post office. Divide and conquer, right?  Well, I found out on a Friday she had received all the bags in.  I had purchased the envelopes to use, and have already been reimbursed by the company.  But, over that weekend, this EA went out and purchased more envelopes, stuffed them with the bags, and took the post office!  She told me about it last Monday!  We were to meet this last week to get the work done.  And now we both have received $25 'reward' in-store money and a nice thank you note.  I told my boss about it - and told her I didn't do anything - that this EA had done it all.  She told me to ask the other EA what to do about it, for I cannot accept the reward.  I think I'm going to write the VP a note, copy the EA and my boss, and just tell them that I didn't do the work, but that this other EA did.  I WANTED to do it, and if the bags had come to me, I probably would have done the very same thing.  I didn't 'earn' the reward and I cannot accept it.  It's the right thing to do.  Believe it or not, it has troubled me all weekend.  Not to acknowledge that I couldn't accept it, but how to do it.

My Virta app has gone totally blue on my phone, but I can still bring it up on my computer.  Maybe I'll delete it from my phone and see if it will come back up.  Well, I deleted it and it seems to have worked when I brought it back up.  Everything seems to be there.  Which isn't always a good thing. My weight has gone up a pound and well, we don't talk ketones.  I'm going to talk with Dr. Mark about it next week. I think I've already lost interest in Virta in that I need carbs to work out - and they push very low carbs to lose weight.  I've lost 10 pounds on it, but just can't get past the hump because I keep eating things I shouldn't.  Like cookies and homemade ice cream.  And beans. Can you believe - we're told to eat beans for the protein - and Virta says no because even in 1/2 cup of any bean - there are about 25 carbs and when you are 'allowed 30 carbs a day - yeah, you can see my frustration.  I had chicken chili last night. With beans. With tortilla chips. and sour cream. And it was good and I enjoyed it.  A lot.

UGH I just remembered I have a board meeting this week at 6AM!  I need to approve timecards this morning and remind those who need to submit for the board meeting to get their slides in before close of day cause I need to send to the board members tomorrow.  At least you are not doing powerpoint slides, son!  

Jeremiah 33:2-3 (NKJV):  "Thus says the Lord who made it, the Lord who formed it to establish it (the LORD is His name): 'Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.'

When was the last time you called on the Lord?  I have probably made you chuckle at times when I write about my 'Lord, HELP' moments.  Especially at the gym.  I frequently call on Him to help me figure things out, to calm me down, to grant me wisdom for that moment in time.  And He answers me. Sometimes I have to get 'me' and my 'I don't want to do this' out of the way (cause I have to do it anyway), but He does answer and gives me the strength I need to complete a workout, or gives me the thought I need to complete a task for work.  Sometimes just asking the Lord to calm down the over-thinking process helps me.  Like this reward thing - I've probably overthought it so much because I can't get it out of my mind and knowing I need to do 'the right thing'.  It's a simple thing, tell her I didn't do the work, and don't deserve it.... and leave it in her corner - I can't give it back, it's in my account.  Anyway - off topic.  

I love it when God shows me 'great and mighty things which I do not know.  There are lots of things I do not know and I - especially with work and my male boss expecting me to read his mind and know what to do when he sends me a project (whether it is powerpoint stuff or having to create a contract for an account I know nothing about nor even whom to contact to get the information (he is my biggest headache)... I know when I pause and get my mind off of me and my stubborn issues, that I can ask Him to give me the wisdom and knowledge and calmness I need and show me great and mighty things that I don't know.  Amazingly, for me, He does.  

I still don't understand contracting and don't agree with it being dumped on me.... but when I get one, after putting it off as long as I can, ... I am able to complete the task before me.  Some times it is really hard for I get these like one every six months or so now.  Not repetitive so I always have to figure out where to go to complete that task.  It's a part of my job I don't enjoy too much.

But the Lord made this world, and He created me.  He says to call to Him and He will answer me, and show me Great and mighty things that I do not know.  And I believe Him.  I call Him at His Word. 

He said it, I believe it, that settles it.

Blessings!

I gave in....sorta...

 Well, I guess I did.  Hubby again pursued about getting away on vacation.  I took a deep breath, a deep sigh, and went online to check a hotel we have stayed at in Payson a couple times in the past.  They now have a luxury king with a fireplace (and one with an indoor jacuzzi if one is interested) for a reasonable price and it was available the week we were thinking of 'going on vacation'.  I went ahead and made the reservations - 8/18-8/21.  Hubby is happy.  Isn't that what counts?  He has the best of both worlds - and I'll leave that right there.

My male boss sent a Teams message to his direct reports and included me yesterday about 12:42PM.  In this message he said there was an announcement coming out but it wouldn't affect the team or the way things are done.  His direct reports all responded thanks.  Now I do not report to him direct, but I support him.  So I jumped on our separate Teams link and asked him what was going on.  He wouldn't tell me. But I think I have figured it out.  Remember a week or so ago he actually called me and shared some confidential things with me?  Yeah, I think it is happening.  I could be wrong.  The email hasn't come out yet (yes, I've already checked) but I think I know what it is.  He will become VP of another department - which means he is president or vp of three different areas of our division.  I don't have much to do with that area, but if it is going to increase my workload, I'm going to request he and his entire teams be removed from my support!  See how that plays out.  I don't want more work.  But that division does have their own Project Manager who supports the two leaders.  This is going to be interesting, for sure.  I called my favorite boss (who I do report to) and asked her last night if she knew anything, and she did not.  I'm pretty sure I know... but I was asked to keep it confidential so I can't tell even her.  But I suspect that is what it is.  At least I have proved I can keep confidential things that are to be kept confidential. 

The youngest hadn't called me for a couple days and update me on things so I called him yesterday.  He did give me an update, but, I don't know, something seemed off and he was in a hurry to get off the phone. From his mother!  Well, he can't say I don't call and check on him and his family.  The middle child can say that for I know he doesn't like to talk on the phone - but he does fill me in at times via his blog.  I don't like to bug any of my children and have made that my lifetime goal since they all moved out.  I don't butt in where I'm not wanted.  Yes, I have lots of regrets for I don't feel close to some, but it is what it is.

It's hump day and I already have three meetings in my emails to set up.  I can hardly wait. Cough cough. 

I'm going through a phase, I think.  Last night I felt like something heavy was upon me. Haven't figured out what that was all about, but I hope it doesn't weigh me down today.  I even left my daughter's early last night - I just wanted to come home, hoping for some time alone, but alas, hubby got home about 5 minutes before I did.  For some reason, he was early last night.  I think that is what I'm needing - time by myself.  But what do I do with it when I get it?  I need a week (at least) alone, where I can watch movies and crochet, read, or just sit and talk with God.  Throw some baking in there, I'm sure, as well.  I am feeling overwhelmed with this prison I am in and I've got to break out.  Perhaps a week off work and going on vacation in three weeks will help.  O riot.  I won't be alone, but at least I won't be cooped up in these four walls.  Breathe, breathe....

Matthew 5:14, 16 (NKJV):  You are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.

Interesting I should have that scripture this morning.  In my prayer this morning I was asking God to let me, my life, be an example to others.  Not perfect, sometimes failing, but always seeking God and having His grace and forgiveness.  I want to be remembered as someone who loves Jesus more than anything else. I often pause and wonder what I put in front of Jesus.... many times my thoughts come to this blog.  Because I stop my quiet time to type this, am I putting it in front of having more time with Jesus?  Well, yes I am, but I do (as a rule) do my reading and prayers before I get on here.  This is usually my last thing before I get on the work computer. So I could say that work is coming before spending more time with Him as well, right?  Is that rationalizing?  When we go on vacation, and we pause our reading to do something - is that making that 'thing' an idol.  I know, I'm stretching it here.  I'm struggling emotionally right now; lots of things going on within me and I am in the 'curl up in the corner and close my eyes to the world' mode.  So excuse my whining.

But, per the scripture, we are to be the light that shines the love of Jesus to others.  Many times we are Jesus to other people, for they don't know Him.  Many in the generation after me do not even know who He is.  They didn't go to church. And many in the generation after have started coming back to Him and learning of Him.  It's a precious sight to see!  How I pray for and wish my grandchildren would turn from their own ways and seek Him with all of their hearts!  Their lives would be so enriched if they would believe in the One who saves them and loves them more than they can ever remember.  I pray for my children and grandchildren to turn their hearts to Him.  It's more than believing in Him, it is more than saying 'I love Him'.  It's in the obeying and following Him that is the key to living for Jesus.  My heart breaks over each one.  

And your heart should be breaking for your children and grandchildren who have chosen the world to follow.  It doesn't matter what example they had growing up.  I failed in so many ways, I admit.  But I chose Jesus during that time and I've never looked back. It doesn't mean I was perfect. I struggled then with life, and I struggle even now.  Just because the children are on their own doesn't mean life is perfect, for it is not.  

I so much miss little ones coming over to bake cookies.  And the big ones too.  That is how I show my love, I guess.... I want to make memories with them.  I know some day I will not be here... will they remember the special things I hold dear. 

What memories are you making with your family?  Do you need to start making some that will last?  You are that light in the world to them; the city set on a hill. 

Blessings!

First day back not bad

 I was able to take care of a lot of work emails on my phone while I was gone (you know, delete, delete) so I didn't have that many to go through when I actually got on the work computer yesterday morning.  I did have meetings I needed to schedule though.  It didn't take long to get those taken care of, and the rest of my emails disposed of.  By afternoon I was able to ''breathe' much easier with the workload and by 3:30PM I think I was totally caught up.  I haven't looked yet this morning to see what came in the last hour of the work day. It will be there when I turn on the computer.  

As I was writing that paragraph a scripture came to mind, but I can't think how it goes.   It's something about 'let today worry about today' - let's see if I can find it.

Matthew 6:34 (NKJV):  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Isn't that the truth!  So many times we find ourselves worrying about 'tomorrow' or what the future will bring - when in reality, why worry about it?  If it's going to happen, it will.  But there is also a chance that it will not.  Right?  I can stress over my work load and become miserable, or I can 'suck it up, buttercup' and just deal with the work load as it comes up.  And so can you.

Whatever comes at you, just pause and whisper a prayer for 'Help, Lord!' and wait to see if He does not give you the wisdom and the strength to do what you need to complete.  He always does. It may not always be the answer we want; it may not end up the way we desire, but God is always in control of all things.  Big and small - it is all in His hands and He is more than able to accomplish more than we could ever hope or even imagine.

This rose bush looks more dead than it did yesterday, I see as I look out this window.  One of these days I will go out and cut it down.  Never did like it anyway.  Some leaves are still green so it may still pull through - but the majority of it is brown.  My tea rose trees are long gone I think, but I will keep watering in the hopes that in spite of the hot sun that has destroyed them, they will begin to grow again.  My vincas are doing well; my blueberry plant is turning brown; the jasmine bushes are still doing well.  I guess it is also in placement.  I need to water the plants in the back too, as well as the front.

If you think about it and apply the deadness of the rose bush into your own life, we realize that we are to be 'dead' to our sins and alive in Christ.  So if I nurture these plants (which I don't, I admit) and perhaps 'talk' to them, and water and feed them, they may return to a strong life, do you think?  But that takes time and knowledge - both of which I don't have and I don't even have the gumption right now to research it all.  It's too hot to get out in the sun to do anything. Can't anyway, during the work day.  Maybe this Saturday I can get out there and then come in and finish up my quiet time.  

I did go on Amazon yesterday and looked at some of the things they have on 'sale'.  Most are a joke, as usual.  Pricewise, I mean.  But I did order a couple things.  Some face cream I use was 40% off so that was a good deal.  I found a book I was wanting (always a book, right?) and it was on sale, so I bought it. I don't remember what else I bought, oh yeah - a silicone pastry something or other - a mat I think it is. (too early in the morning to think, I guess) That's probably about it.  There is nothing we need or even that I am wanting (other than a new house out of this HOA) that I can get on Amazon.  Oh yeah, I do 'want' some new glass storage dishes - may check Walmart for those to see if on sale.  If so, I may just drive up there to pick them up.  I have found I like the glass storage dishes versus the plastic.  I still have a lot of plastic and can use those for when I give to others for I don't necessarily want those back. Or need those back.  And if I don't get the glass back - I don't care.  In fact, I think that is why I'm running short on some now.  If I remember, I may check them out.

So what are you looking at on these Prime days?  Personally, I don't care.  If I think of something for a Christmas gift I may go on and look more, but there is nothing I can think of that anyone has commented they want.  And we all know that there will be at least one more Prime days scheduled before Christmas.  Yes, I probably spend more by ordering when I think of things, but at least I get what I want, right?   Some people go crazy on these Prime sales - and personally, I see nothing that I am interested in.  Save my money. :-)

It must be too hot already (at 92 degrees according to my computer) for only one person has walked by this morning - not even the man in the cowboy hat and brown sleeveless buttoned down shirt that has walked by several mornings with coffee cup in one hand and dog leash in the other.  I guess dogs are either walked much earlier on these days or not at all.

Hubby is reneging on our thinking of staying home for our anniversary this year.  Sigh.  He wants to go somewhere it is cooler.  He annoys me about the heat.  We live here - and have for 42 years - get over it!  He's in air conditioning all day - why complain about the heat?  When it is cooler he never goes out either!  Well, I won't say 'never', but rarely.  Even I don't go out very often when it is cooler.  Geez.  Get over it.  But I will give in and we will probably go to Williams or thereabout. He wants to go to Bearizona - and it would be nice - but I reminded him that in August it is very possible it is closed due to the heat and the bears won't come out when it's hot.  He said he'd check it out.  I may as well give in and we go away for 2-3 days.  He will make things miserable with constant whining about the heat if we stay here.  I'm thinking of saving money by NOT going.  He is only thinking about getting cooler for a few days so that he can complain when we come back about how hot it is.  Sigh. There I go again.  Pointing fingers.  Well, we live in Arizona - so yes, it's HOT - get over it!

And with my comments, I am going to hush and get off here.  About time to turn on the work computer and change to clothes and get started on the day.  I do have an 8AM with my boss so need to at least be dressed and comb my hair.

Have an amazing day and do something good for someone.  And don't worry about things happening tomorrow - 'it is what it is' and will happen whether you worry about it or not (or it won't happen because you DID worry about it).  Worrying is a waste of time and energy.  One day at a time.  There is something about that saying that is .................   what is the word I want to use? I am drawing a blank. So off here I am.

Blessings!

Trying to be considerate

 sometimes causes me to forget.  I have a couple relatives in my life who try to sleep past 5-6AM each morning, and I respect that.  I know that when the phone receives a message, it will ding.  Why don't we turn our phone off?  Because it might be one of our children, an emergency with someone, or well, it could be anything.  My 'dings' during the night can be Kohl's, JCP's, Michael's or JoAnn's.  Truly!  Rarely is it anyone - unless they send a text around 9:30PM.  Rarely do I get a text early in the morning, like after I'm up.  I take that back.  I do have a few as they know I'm up; and LOL, yesterday it was my boss telling me Happy Easter, about 5AM.  And that was ok.  She knew I was up.  She is also an early riser.  So where am I going with all this?  Unless I pause (sometimes) in here, before I come out, and send a special text to someone... sometimes I forget.  I get busy with my day and I just forget to send it.  I realized this morning I forgot to send my middle child and his wife a 'Happy Easter;.  I know they probably don't care that I didn't.... I didn't forget them at all; I just didn't want to send a note early in the morning and then after that, it was church, grabbing things and heading over to daughter's for lunch, clean up, etc. and when we got back home, I got busy with other things.  I respect they prefer messages after they get up - and I know when one works, or can't sleep well, if they can grab a few minutes extra of sleep, it is priceless.  So, with that, Happy Easter to my middle child.... cause I thought of you... but didn't want to wake you nor your wife, and then life just got busy.  I love you  - and Happy Easter - belatedly.

In fact, I wanted to sleep in this morning.  Hubby woke me at 2:43am with his tossing and turning - and when he stopped, he face was right in front of mine.  WAAYAYYAYAY too close!  So I flipped over on my other side and tried to go back to sleep, but finally got up and came in here - where I did fall back to sleep for a couple hours.  Until I  heard hubby shuffling down the hallway, anyway.  Some days I want to sleep a little later too.  Without interruption.  I know if we slept in separate beds we both would sleep better.  But, hubby will not 'allow' it.  His flip flopping keeps me awake many a night... yet, he claims I can keep him awake with my snoring.  He always has a comment about 'me'.  Oh well,  enough of that.

Church ran long yesterday but it was good.  I heard our old church had the wife of the pastor speak and that she was awesome.  Our church had an impromptu baptism what started out as 3 people and ended up as 5.  A father got to baptize his two daughters; another father got to baptize his son.  His son was in the band, and he came down and asked if he could also get baptized (his father baptized him) and then a woman on the worship team wanted to be baptized.  They also had about 8 young women dressed in white who did a 2-minute or so dance routine.  Worship was good, message was good.  I wish I could remember the four points made - but it all was based on Matthew 28.  Great service. And my youngest son and his wife did attend with us.  I told them after that our services didn't usually run that long.  Grateful they came.   Love having my children attend church with me.  

The rest of the day was good too - a great lunch; fun watching one of the great granddaughters hunt for Easter eggs; spending quality time with a granddaughter listening to her plans to expand and grow her little business.  Ms. Amy kept calling me and so did another friend.  I finally got my phone on the second call from Ms. Amy.  She was a little irritated I hadn't answered her call earlier... she just wanted to know if a couple had come over to look at her fruit trees to get an estimate on cutting them back for her.  I don't know if they came or not... I did see a couple guys get out of a truck in front of her house Saturday... assume that was who it was.  She will get their quote today; she didn't need to call me.  Oh well.  Then another friend called the second time so I called him back.. he didn't really want anything either.  Overall, it was a good day... hubby fell asleep in his chair last night and I woke him when it was time to go to bed.

Back to work this Monday morning and I know I have two meetings today, but nothing 'bad'.  The first one at 8AM is my monthly 1:1 with my boss.  LOL we talk frequently 'off the record' and meet up once a month or so for breakfast (we are meeting next week for lunch!) so it isn't like we don't chat.  Then she has a 'direct report' meeting around 12:30PM I think that I get invited to - so that I can hear what is going on within the different departments she is over.  Other than that, sigh, I have about 18 'compliance required training' in my mail bucket that I have to go in and complete before a date in July.  Everyone dreads those - they are time consuming, but if you don't complete them, you get reported to Compliance who has to report it to the IRR, I think it is, and it can and usually does, cost the job.  It's easier just to do them and get it over with.  Which is what I usually do.  They dropped in our mail two weeks ago and I got one or two of them done - before Compliance pulled them out; they had sent out too early.  We aren't to start on them until today.  

Romans 5:6-8 (NIV): "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

I think that scripture pretty well sums up Easter, don't you think?  "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." What a powerful statement that is!  We don't have to be perfect people, we don't have to powerful people.  Jesus loves us right where we are at.  He died for me (and for you) before we were even created.  And He rose to life again, defeating death, that we also might live again with Him.  No other 'god' has risen again.  Never put a 'little god' before our Great and Mighty God.  He is our great Defender, our Redeemer, our Friend.

Oh - in my "Betty Crocker" time on Saturday, I forgot to tell you one thing that I made!  I made butter!  LOL  I don't know what got in to me to want to do it... remembering my 'Aunt Margarine' and the one time we churned butter (in the large wooden butter churn) might have done it.  But I had bought this glass container from Amazon; it has a lid on it, to which is attached paddles.  You pour heavy whipping cream into it and start 'churning' - turning the gadget... for about 20 minutes... and you look inside and you see butter!  You pull the butter out, soak it in ice water to firm it up and get the rest of the milk out of it.  The remaining milk in the container is buttermilk and they say to use it in buttermilk pancakes.  I threw it away cause I knew I wasn't going to make any.  Anyway - I made unsalted butter.  I could add salt; I can add herbs or other seasonings to it; I could add cinnamon and sugar to it.  I could do all those things.  But I made butter.  And it brought back to mind special memories of good times.

What is something you could do today that would bring back special memories?   Maybe it's baking cookies.  Maybe it is writing a note to someone who means something to you.  Maybe it is taking someone out for coffee and just chat about fun times with them.  Take some time today to do something fun and brings joy.

Blessings!

It was a compliment for sure!

 I walked in to our Bible study last night and - believe it or not! - two of the young men (20 years old no less!) immediately said "I love your hair cut!!"  Cracked me up.  Geez, was it so bad before?  Could have been, for I did not curl it for Bible study.  After all, we were meeting in a home, it wasn't like we were at church.  But I did get several compliments on it last night, but the fact that the two 20 year old young men were the first to notice as I walked in to the room made me laugh.

I had 75 messages yesterday morning when I signed on to the computer, but quickly got through them. And I even got started on pulling together the board retreat.  I was told I didn't have to attend (YAY!) so that is a good thing.  But it means I need to make sure the hotel - if that will be the final meeting place - comes through on everything.  I've asked for quotes - which should be interesting.  I looked online and rooms right now are nearly $500 a day - plus they charge $35/day resort fee.  I'm hoping I can keep everything there for they would take care of the meals and meeting rooms, whereas, if my boss thinks he needs to save money, will have me reserve a conference room at the Tucson office and then I would have to have food catered there and someone watch to receive it, etc.  It would be a lot more of a hassle.  Oh well, I can only do what I'm told to do.

I did manage to get online for a bit yesterday and ordered some things for Christmas gifts.  I'm trying to write everything down that I've already purchased, and write down what I've ordered.  I think I'm done with a few of the grandchildren.  Very few.  I realized yesterday that I bought a pair of pants for one - he wears a 30x32 and I bought 32x30.... grabbed the wrong one.  I don't think I have any grandsons that size so will have to take them back this weekend.  Now I need to start my wrapping and get that done - after all, I have to do it all - the shopping, paying for it, and wrapping.  That's ok, I have a better idea of what is what cause I do have to do it.  But I am really at a loss for some and they will have to 'take what they get'.  I buy everything in love and with thoughtful consideration; it isn't just picking something up to have a gift to give.  My problem usually is I want to give everything.  

Matthew 10:8 (NKJV):  "Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons.  Freely you have received, freely give."

Actually, the words that came to mind first were the 'Freely you have received, freely give'.  I was thinking this morning how grateful I am for God's blessings that we can buy gifts for others, even those we don't know.  I can remember when we had so little to give, that it actually hurt that we couldn't do more.  But we gave what we could.  Yesterday I was able to go online and purchase a few things for the children at CRS.  We had gotten an email from one of my (work) case managers with a 'wish list' for these kids.  I sent him an email and asked what are most needed of this wish list.  He told me that the older kids are the ones that usually don't get much as people love buying for the little ones.  So I focused on the items for the older children on the wish list.  Now I'm not sharing this for pats on the back - I don't want that.  I'm just thinking how grateful I am that God has blessed us at this time that we can purchase a few items and donate to others.  God has been so good to us.  

And now that we have gotten older, we need less, and can give more to others.  I'm truly grateful for that for it does my heart good.  Some day my children will understand it is better to give than to receive.  Right now some of them blow off the 'receive' part.... and I get it.  I'm always grateful, but sometimes feel so humbled that someone would give me a gift.  Just like last Sunday when the gentleman gave me the necklace.  It wasn't anything expensive; it was the thought that he wanted to give me a gift of appreciation.  That humbled me, but blessed me as well.  No way was I going to refuse his blessing me and take away his own blessing!

Reminds me of a time - and I'm sure I have shared it in years past - when I was at a very small gym and was riding one of the exercise bikes.  There was another woman on a bike in front of me.  The gym had glass windows on three sides.  As I rode the bike, I observed an elderly man with a shopping cart full of 'stuff' walking from the right.  I watched as he walked past the doors, then stopped, pulled out a couple things wrapped in tissue paper and came in to the gym.  He first walked up to the woman in front of me and she was totally rude.  He was offering her a tissue wrapped gift and she refused him and told him to go away.  He looked so forlorn.  He then turned and came to me and smiling, offered me his gift.  I took it.  I remember looking into his eyes and he tells me, "God bless you".  I thanked him for the gift and he turned and walked back outside, and started walking on around the building....and I kid you not - he disappeared!!  I opened the tissue - which was new tissue, you know, not the wrinkled up kind when we reuse it - and it was a ceramic bear.  I still have it, and I keep it as a reminder to always be kind to others.  I still believe it was Jesus who came to visit that day.  

It makes me think how we are in this world.  We get so caught up in ourselves and what we are doing that we shut others out.  The lady in front of me wanted nothing to do with this homeless man nor the gift he was offering her.  She was truly rude and told him to go away.  I chose to accept his gift, and I was blessed and filled with joy at it.

Jesus came to earth to give us the gift of redemption.  He gave everything He had for us.  Many refuse His gift and tell Him to 'go away'.  They want no part of what He has to offer.  But there are some of us who eagerly accept what He has for us, and we are the truly blessed ones.  Riches will fade; but what we gain from following Jesus will last eternally.  Will you accept His gift, freely to receive, freely given?  I'm glad I did.

Blessings!

I survived yesterday,

 but today - most of it anyway, will be very intense.  I had some struggles with work yesterday morning.  First of all, it was timecard day - which I had forgotten about - but no big deal; I've got it down now on how to approve timecards.  Then I couldn't get one timecard to come up.  I did everything (I thought) I was supposed to do, but it wouldn't come up.  So I contacted an admin who had helped me before, and we walked through it - and then I realized what I had NOT done ... I was bringing up 'previous schedule period' and not 'previous pay period'.  It does make a difference; I wasn't to approve the schedule but the pay period.  Got that done.  Then a director emailed me with the question of 'how do I?' and I drew a blank.  I could not remember how to do what she asked.  Luckily she had included someone else on the email and they responded back.  It was a morning where I was questioning my ability to do tasks - I couldn't remember!  I had only done this task one time a few weeks ago and I played with it to figure it out.  I'm still learning about the new system.  But still, the thoughts were entering my mind about not being able to remember, perhaps I need to consider............. hubby wouldn't like those thoughts at all!

The day went on by and then around 3PM another director assigned me a task.  Sounds simple enough, she gave good instructions on what she wanted done.  But I don't work with Teams (Microsoft Teams) except for meetings.  I haven't had to, nor do I want to.  And she assigned me a task.  8 documents in this Team site that I needed to copy and paste into another document, align margins, change font, number pages, and a few other things.  I sat and stared at it for several minutes because I wasn't sure what she was asking.  I finally did one, step by step as she told me, and then sent it to her to look at.  Was this what she was asking me to do?  And, yes, it was.  Once I got confirmation that it was, I was able to get a couple more completed before I signed off for the day.  But it is tedious work and takes a lot of time to complete just one, getting everything aligned.  And my 'don't want to' kept getting in the way.  Ever have those days?  Where your 'I don't want to do this anymore' keeps getting in the way of 'I need to get this completed'?   I will need to work on those first thing this morning and get them finished.  At least I think my attitude about it is better today.  Not sure what my problem was yesterday; I was just feeling so tired and weary, for some reason.

And then also in the afternoon I got notification that another director - whom I do not know - gave me access to his Team site.  I DON'T WANT ACCESS TO ANY OF THEM!  I have about 30 (not kidding!) Teams files on my computer and I don't work with any of them.  WHY all of a sudden are people deciding I need to go into their folders and do some work for them?  I don't want to!  I don't have anything to do with their departments; why are they giving me access??!!  UGH.  Then I try to tell myself that if I applied myself, I could learn a lot of things.  But I don't want to learn new things.  I want to be left alone.  But, as long as I'm working, I don't have much choice, do I?  UGH UGH UGH

Wow - I'm a grumbler today, aren't I!  I need to work on that this morning before I turn on my work computer.  Or even perhaps before I shut this one off!  Today, plus two days... and I'm off work for three days.  I need to 'hold that thought', right?  

A granddaughter contacted me last night with school photos of my great-granddaughter.  She is so beautiful, and looks so much like her mama!  We had a great conversation and it felt good to know she wants a good foundation for her child.  I shared with her that 'A mama's greatest joy is that her children are walking with the Lord'.  She agreed, and I'm glad her little one is getting that foundation laid in her life.

Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)  "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

That foundation was also laid in my life as I was growing up.  I did walk away from it - not really understanding it - for some years, but 39 years ago I finally understood that Jesus is all I need.  Not saying my life was perfect from then on out, for it definitely wasn't.  And still isn't.  But I knew that I had to make Jesus Lord of my life if I was going to live life to the fullest.  It is a step I have never regretted making.  I tried to instill this foundation in my own children, but alas, like me, they have chosen to reject Jesus and do their own thing at this time.  COVID played a part in some not attending church; I get that.  Many times I do not want to go personally to church; I love having jeans and t-shirt and no make-up on and sitting in my chair crocheting while watching the service.  Doesn't mean we don't participate in the worship and service; just means I'm comfortable.  But I also know we can't fellowship with other believers if we aren't there with other believers.

We did go to the 9AM service on Sunday (instead of the 11AM service) and it was good.  We felt more a part in that there were people that came to us and talked with us, where we didn't have that in the 11AM service other than our friends.  The preacher was good; he read and stuck to the scripture and it was a good message.  We sorta liked knowing that by a certain time we'd have to be out so that the 11AM group could come in - but being Easter, it did go over.  I understand when the Holy Spirit takes over the worship you should let it flow and not cut it off, but sometimes I must miss it totally for it feels like it becomes a performance after awhile.  Or my critical spirit is coming out.  We may end up at this church, but we both agree that the 9AM service would have to be the one we go to.  

I think I've 'lost' my garden.  I looked at it Sunday morning and although a few leaves had been eaten, it wasn't bad... yesterday morning I went to check on it and nearly every single leaf of every plant - but one romaine lettuce plant - was eaten.  All that was there was stalks.  Even my herbs! ALL of the cilantro, which hadn't been eaten before, was stalks!  I cut them all down, put a mixture of dishsoap and water on it, and now I wait.  So disappointing.  I had some dreams of it all being full and growing... and bugs are eating it all up.  Other than that one worm, I have seen no bugs or worms.  But something is obviously getting into the garden at night and eating every single plant - the cilantro, basil, mint, rosemary, my spinach is gone, so disappointing.  Next year it may be flowers in my garden!  In fact, I may get one or two now and put in there with the hopes of getting rid of these bugs.  I heard marigolds keep mosquitos away and we have those little tiny ones that drive me crazy when we sit out front in the early evening.  So much for being a farm girl.

It's kind of like life, isn't it?  We are planted in a firm foundation and it doesn't take long before the world starts nibbling at us.  It throws things at us that seem good, and they feel good, but they end up destroying us, till we are but a stalk of what we should be.  We allow the worms and bugs to keep enticing us, till our strong green leaves of life become barren and we become empty stalks, empty of the life that God has for us.  We get cut down, but do we begin to grow again?  Do our leaves come forth to be eaten again?  Do we allow the things of this world to capture us again?  That is up to us.  Do we wash off those bugs of deceit with soap and water and choose to live again?  Something to think about.

Today is Tuesday and another busy day ahead of me.  I don't mind the work; I just don;t want to learn new things if I don't want to.  I was having such a rough day yesterday I even ate a dish of ice cream last night and I haven't done that for some time!  Of course it didn't help either that the two pounds I had lost two weeks ago came back after Easter lunch!

Psalm 118:24 (NKJV):  "This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

Ok - I'm making a choice to rejoice in today and change my attitude because the Lord made it and has allowed me to be in it.  What are you going to do?

Blessings!