It was a time to be me....

 I did enjoy so much my time out for breakfast yesterday.  My oldest son got me laughing and I listened to what he had to say.  It was a much needed, good time with him.  I love these times when I'm out 1:1 with my children and get to be a part of their life.  No, I'm not calling out anyone; I am just saying some day we will look back on these times and remember.... 

Yesterday was a good day, albeit lazy somewhat.  After breakfast I did get home in time to put the deviled eggs together and take to the HOA potluck.  There were perhaps 15 or more that showed up.  I knew very few of them, which is ok. I probably won't see them until the NEXT potluck, whenever that may be.  Lots of good food, and I ate too much.  We didn't eat dinner last night but blew the diets by snacking on nuts and I don't remember what else I ate.  Oh yeah.  Girl Scout cookies.  Three of them, at least.  My scales showed me up 2 pounds this morning.  Weight is a horrible thing.  I need to get a walk or two in today.  I hope. Even if it is just walking on the treadmill.  Well, that is what I have it for, right?

After the potluck we didn't do much; took a nap.  I don't know if I actually slept or not, but I'm sure it wasn't deep.  Ms. Diane called and thanked me for the 'delicious' meal I brought over to her the other night when I visited.  She is a hoot.  Found out during the HOA gathering that Ms. Vicky had spent 4 days in the hospital last week with gallbladder surgery.  Yes, I did text her that I couldn't believe she didn't let me know.  She responded but I didn't after that.  We watched a couple movies on tv before heading to bed.  I wasn't really tired nor sleepy, which is probably why I don't feel I slept well.  I was wide awake at 11:30PM.  I tossed and turned the rest of the night.  

Had a really odd dream.  Not sure why. Not sure what it could possibly mean.  I can't even say it was a 'bad' dream.  But I was searching for my first husband and found him in a factory or a shop working. It was so strange, this dream.  I went to him and told him I was sorry how things ended up, and that I had not put him down or said anything bad about him to the kids..... he gathered me into his arms and just held me.  I can't explain what I felt. People walked by us as we were outside. Then I 'woke up' again and once again started the tossing and turning, and finally getting up about 5:45AM - so obviously slept some during that time.  

I have been reading my Bible before going to bed at night and forgot last night as we had watched two movies. Both romantic ones, of course, from Up Faith and Family, and I forgot to read my Bible as it was about 9:30PM.  I know, that is way early for some of you.  I should have read my Bible for I probably could have had a good night's sleep.  But then, would I have had that dream if I had?  It was a good dream.

I feel like crying this morning and am not sure why.  I want to hide all day.  Can I bury myself in a cocoon and not come out until I'm ready? 

I need to call the bride this afternoon and review her desires for the wedding.  I have the words I will say typed out and the service is ready to go. I just need to find out if they are going to write their own vows or just have the usual 'will you take...' vows.  The call shouldn't take long.

I also need to work on our taxes today.  My part of it anyway.  I have barely started on it, and it will take me a couple hours to pull it all together and give to hubby.  I'm not confident in what he does with the numbers, that we give to the CPA, but I just let it go.  Control is a horrible, horrible, thing and sometimes it is easier to give in to the demands and let it go.  It's stupid really.  For example, the checkbook.  If he let me have the checkbook back, I would have paid off his car a year ago.  I know how to pay the bills - he does the minimum and stretches it out.  I prefer to pay them off.  That's how I got my car paid off so quickly.

Which reminds me. Our neighbor told me yesterday that they were looking at getting a new car.  They just bought a new one a couple months ago.  He wants to get a Tesla.  She's afraid to with people scratching them and destroying them.  She wants to get another Lincoln.  She doesn't like their new car and told me two things she didn't like.  1) It doesn't have a place to put her sunglasses on the inside 'roof'.  (I have one in my car. :-))  2) If you push the button to take the window down part way, you can just barely touch the button.  But to take it up, you have to hold the button.  Now these are real reasons to get a new car, right?  I guess people who have money and it's no object have quirky issues.  LOL  Only thing that surprised me was that she made a comment about car payments.  None of my business though.  I prefer NO car payments, which is why I'm in no hurry to get rid of my car.  Just turned 50k on it a week ago.

James 1:12 (NKJV):  Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

Sometimes temptations are hard to resist.  You know that is a true statement.  Especially when we want to say something to someone and our conscience is just telling us to 'let it go' and not speak it, before we know it, we have found a way to blurt out what our thought was.  Right or wrong.  Is that a correct statement?  Sometimes it is hard to squash the comment that brews in your mind like a pot of coffee, just waiting for the opportunity to pop out.

Or something that you want to do, yet you know you shouldn't, and even yet, talk yourself into doing it 'just one more time'... not accepting the argument going on within your mind telling you not to do it, that you are stronger than that. You don't need a crutch. You can get by without doing whatever it is.  And if you do wait, you will find that you can overcome that desire.

I have that issue with food I shouldn't eat.  Just one cookie, I will tell myself.  Two cookies may be 27g of carbs - but if I only eat one... it's only 14g at most, right?  Doesn't matter that I'm trying to keep myself at 30g of carbs a day - thereabout - and it would be about half of what I am allowing myself.  So what do I do?  Like I did last night... I not only ate one, or two, but I really think I managed to get 3 down before I made myself walk away. And that doesn't count for the nuts I ate.  I think 1 ounce is 7g - which isn't bad at all.  I just don't think three handfuls of nuts is going to stay at 7g, although it may be 7g each time I grabbed a handful. And I wonder why I gained two pounds?  Could it have been the potato chips and pistachio pudding as well?  Sigh.  

Can we resist temptation?  Yes.  No one is immune from temptation.  But yes, each of us has something inside of us that says 'don't do it'.  Doesn't matter what it is.  If we give in to the temptation, it is a choice we make to do so.  And each time that we give in, the next time the temptation arises, it is much easier to get past our conscience.  Unfortunately, sometimes not only our bodies bear the results, as does our mind, but our families deal with the fallout of our temptations as well.   

My past was full of temptations that I caved in to with my stupidity of not having maturity to deal with situations.  I failed in many ways to teach my children not to fall into the same temptations I did.  Sometimes those temptations bury us so deep that we have to fight to get out.  The temptation becomes addiction.  And addictions destroy families.  

I'm lost in memories - and 'what if' possibilities in my mind this morning, because of my dream.  I don't know why things happen the way they do..... but if they hadn't, would it have made a difference?   My heart says ......   

Need to get off here ... maybe I'll go down memory lane for a bit before coming out of my room.  Once I'm out, the day becomes busy.  Can I just stay in here?  

Hope you remember good times and precious memories of when you felt good about yourself, was happy, felt loved, and most of all, felt free.  Be safe out there.

Blessings!

What does your tongue say about you?

 Ouch.  I started reading in the book of James this morning.  Now I must admit that I love the book of James.  I really do.  He steps all over my toes every time I read him.  He makes me stop and look at my life in comparison, and I must admit, many times I see things that I need to work on.  I will never be perfect, for only Christ is perfect.  And that is fine.  But if I am a Follower of Christ, then I must be like Him, correct?  There are some passages to relook at - shall we?

Matthew 16:15-16 (NKJV):  "He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"  Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

Yeah, that is not in James, but we need to start there.  Who is this Christ that we are to follow?  He is truly the Son of the living God.  God is NOT Dead (watch that movie if you need clarification!) and He is alive and well, and He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, here on earth, to be like us, to be tempted as we are, and yet, He was without sin.  He showed us the way to live, to turn from things unholy and turn to things that are of God.  It's not hard... it's really very simple.  It's when our mind gets to thinking, and that is where we get into trouble.

James 1:12-15 (NKJV):  "Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is full grown, brings forth death."

Adam and Eve began the shifting of blame in the Garden of Eden.  Remember Adam telling God "The woman whom You gave me.... gave me of the tree."  And Eve, she passed the blame on to the serpent.  But God should never be blamed for sin - sin is the sign of the enemy; it's evidence of the devil's activity.  God may allow the temptation to strengthen us in our walk with Him, but He will never give you the temptation.  If we give in to temptation, we are the only ones to blame.  

Even Jesus was tempted, remember?  Temptation is inevitable; no one escapes it, not even Jesus.  But He chose to not give in to temptation but to quote back to the devil the Word of God and - well, remember ,,,,

Luke 4:4 (NKJV):  "But Jesus answered him, saying, "It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.'"

Every word of God. That means we need to read and to know God's Word so that we can resist the temptations that come at us.  If we don't read it, how will we know that God doesn't want us to do things?  How can we follow Jesus if we don't know who He is?

Temptation itself is not a sin.  It is the giving in to the temptation that causes it to become sin.  It isn't a single thought - it is actually a process involving four stages: enticement, entrapment, endorsement, and enslavement.  The key to overcoming temptation is not just to resist but also to change one's thoughts - refocusing one's mind on what is true and on Whom is our Victory - Jesus Christ.  When people hold the temptation in their hearts and begin to fantasize it in their minds, sin is then conceived and once sin is 'born', it brings forth death.  

We all sometimes fall into that thinking.  It could be something that we know is sinful, and yet, our thoughts wander down that lane. Just thinking about it isn't bad, is it?  Yeah.. it is... cause it puts it in our mind as a focus and then it becomes all we can think about.  Let's use something simple as an example.  Food.  You know that I love food.  Most people do.  If that ice cream in my freezer is all I can think about, it has become my focus and no matter what, I will figure out a way to have it, whether hubby sees me eat it or not.  Now, ice cream in itself is not bad (in moderation).  And, remember, this is just an example... I'm trying to make a point, using something that I love.  I know that a lot of ice cream is not good for me.  I struggle with my weight all the time because I love food.  Salads will put just as much weight on me as ice cream, but it is healthier, I tell myself.  Anyway, if I keep my focus on the ice cream, and my desire for it increases to the point I 'have to have it' to satisfy myself, then it becomes a sin.  The thought is there that I have to have it and I will do anything at all costs to get it.  Then I go get it, and eat a bowl of it.  (with saltine crackers and chocolate all over the top of it, of course.  Or leave the chocolate off, but the saltine crackers are a must."  It's like temptation to do things we shouldn't do.  We think about it, fantasize about it, and then have to have it, and do it.  And then we feel terrible because we gave in to the temptation.

So what do we do?  When the thought first comes to mind, we need to cast it out of our minds and ask for God to help us block that thought.  Do other things that are pleasing to God and are not sinful.  Take your family out for dinner, do something productive.  Keep your thoughts from fantasizing about your desire.  Even movies nowadays have sinful scenes in them that can cause you to fantasize about things that you shouldn't be thinking about at all.

For me - I have had to get that ice cream and dump it out and/or throw in the trash.  Yep.  I may have one portion of that ice cream ... but I have - many times - because I know ice cream is not good for me and it causes me to sneak and eat it - I will take the half gallon of ice cream and dump it out or throw it in the trash to get it out of my temptation.  Waste of money?  Perhaps.  But I had a portion of it, which is what I wanted.  I don't n eed to eat the entire half gallon.  I'm not one of those women who, when things don't go their way, grab ice cream and sit and eat the entire container.  (why do they typecast us women as doing that, anyway?)

Ok - I dealt with temptations this morning of a non-healthy food item... you don't want me to get started on the 'tongue'!  Oh that we could bridle that tongue and keep it from flapping all over the place!  But - it is a topic for another day.

I Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV):  "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you re able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

Keep your thoughts on good; on God.  Push those temptations out of your mind.  Ask God to help you with your thoughts, to keep them pure and holy.  Seek His face, and know that He is God alone.  Receive all that He has for you.  You will never regret it.

Blessings!