Do you ever feel that way? Computers have new programs and they say click here, and do that and voila! Whatever it is - well, we expect it to appear - and it usually involves changing passwords - but which passwords are you actually changing? I think I am changing passwords for one thing - and the next time I sign in another place, it tells me that password doesn't work, that I changed it. Say, what? UGH. I have so many passwords floating around now I don't know which one is which - and yes, I do write them down and for what I THINK they are for - but then bring work passwords in to the mix and well, I have way too many passwords out there and I don't even know what they are! Did any of that rant make sense? Probably not, but I'll leave it there.
I managed to get through yesterday with my male boss back in town. He wasn't too bad yesterday and I think I was caught up when I signed off at 4PM yesterday. Well, I had one I couldn't take care of until today so that's that. And, no, I still haven't gotten the minutes done from the last board meeting. I really do need to get those done, ya think? It won't take me ten minutes - so why do I keep putting it off?
I created my own team on a challenge at work - it's a step challenge, you know, see how many steps your team can get in to reach destinations on the map. We are currently in Japan, which I think is the first destination. My team name? Jailbreak Walkers. I use it every time there is a challenge and I sent invites out for anyone to join - I have two people I know, the rest are strangers to me - and I don't care. One got 30k steps in yesterday - she must be a runner! I did less than 6K but it was still more than my usual 2-3k. I even got on the treadmill for a little while yesterday. I tried to get on it after I worked out at the gym last night - but Morgan took me through a HIIT again (high intensity interval training) and my legs were like lead so I didn't last 5 minutes on the treadmill. I am the leader of the team so I need to push myself to get more steps in.
I did go to Sam's club yesterday (I actually took a lunch break and went!) and got more coffee (and a lot of other things!) We were down to 2 k cups and you know we can't do without coffee! LOL I also bought ground coffee as we like to have a pot of coffee on the weekends as we generally drink 2-3 cups as we stay in our 'quiet time' longer. I could stay in here all day! Oh wait, I do. sigh. But I meant reading and praying - not working!
A chapter I read in one of my books this morning was on unforgiveness. Do you realize how unforgiveness ages you? It cuts your life short. It makes you miserable - even if you 'think' you have forgiven someone, or just moved on in life and let it fall by the wayside, if you haven't forgiven them, if you are harboring anger or bitterness towards them, you are in bondage to them, whether you believe that or not. Forgiving someone is not always easy. Trust me, as I have had to forgive people that don't deserve (in my opinion) to be forgiven. But I have to forgive and let it go, for I will not be in bondage to them in any way shape or form. I can not like them, but I am called to love them and to forgive them - and as you know from previous posts - sometimes that is really hard.
So I spent some time reflecting on the past and naming names of everyone that has hurt me in the past in one way or another, telling God out loud that I forgive that person by name. I had a long list, especially when I started with my parents and took it on down to my grandchildren. Yeah, I want everyone forgiven, because I don't want my life to be in bondage to sin because I refuse to forgive. I want to be forgiven, and if I want God to forgive me my sins, I must forgive others. You've heard it in the Lord's Prayer -
".... and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...."
and that is hard to do sometimes; especially when you think of them and you feel the anger boiling up again. But bottom line, we have to forgive them every time that anger comes up. Every.Single.Time. Whether you want to or not.
Hurting people hurt people. You've heard that saying before. And it is very true. We've all heard things spoken to us by our children that hurt us deeply. What are you going to do? Hold a grudge against your child - or continue to love them and forgive them? We forgive, because we do love them. We don't always know what is going on in their lives at the moment they 'explode'. It may have nothing to do with us, or with anything you are aware of. Who knows, they may not have any coffee in the house and for some people, that is enough to set them off! (no, not me, I can do with or without it). Anyway - bottom line, forgive others as you want to be forgiven.
I came up with a saying yesterday. "People don't value your opinion as much as they value you listening." I've yet to repeat that saying to someone who brought that to mind last night. Yes, hubby rubbed me the wrong way. He gets upset with me when I don't share with him, and yet, when I do, it isn't for his opinion. For example.... (btw, oldest son, you were kind of right, but don't let that go to your head)
My little sister called yesterday and was commenting about the bible study we are to be doing 'together'. I just finished week two last night. We haven't discussed week one yet. Each week consists of a video, then two-three pages of 'group discussion'. This is where you discuss with whomever you are doing it with. Then there are three 'sessions' which are personal study - meaning you don't share them, but it allows you to go deeper into the study if you want. When my little sister called, she wanted to see where I was at - and I guess I must have shamed her when I told her I was nearly finished with week 2. She mumbled something about she felt challenged and she just couldn't understand the questions, etc. I explained that we only discuss the group discussion questions; we don't share the personal study ones - and I have been learning a lot about myself and how I answered some of those questions. It's personal, and I don't have to share any of it. So she decided we needed to go ahead and answer the group questions. Fine - I had them done. Well, she only had two of the questions answered, I think. She asked me my answers, and I told her. And it was "I didn't think of it like that" and yet, she didn't really have anything written down. I tried to explain the study is for her to learn and grow, not to be concerned how I or anyone else 'read into' the question or what we wrote down. Later that night she sent me a text that she was sorry she hadn't taken it seriously and she had apologized to God she hadn't and she would buckle down and get it done right. I tried to explain again that she will only get out of it what she puts in to it. It wasn't to shame her, each person works at their own pace.
Anyway - what I'm getting to regarding my comment.... I was telling hubby about it and I commented that I am going to continue working at my own pace and complete them and I am doing it for me, not for her. So HE proceeds to TELL me that I need to work at my own pace and do it for myself, and I NEED to keep doing it, etc. SLAM! That shut the door on any other comments I would have made. I was only sharing information, I was not asking for his opinion. I did not need to have him tell me what I needed to do. When he does that, I shut down and I now I will struggle to open up the book again - only because he told me I NEEDED to do that - after I told him I was going to do that. UGH. Mind your own business!!
When people are sharing with you, LISTEN, but don't comment. If they want your opinion, your advice, they will ask you for it. If not, SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
Ok - off my soapbox. And I need to get off here and get the work computer turned on and get ready for work. Another day, another dime. Oh wait, I should be getting a raise in April. YAY me.
Have an awesome day!
Blessings!
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