I finally slept nearly through the entire night last night - a deep restful sleep. Exhaustion from the week I am going to assume. It's been a stressful, painful, and mentally emotional week. I only woke once last night and went right back to sleep until time to get up. Sheeba may get just a short walk today- have a 7AM meeting with one of my bosses to go over her calendar.
Sigh. With all that is going on with the youngest son this week, I read my middle child's post and he had some things happen last night. I truly understand his emotions and what he said. Things have angered me and disgusted me and the thought of 'what idiots' often come to mind. It's all play to these people. They do not believe nor do they understand the ramifications of what they say or do. They have no clue they are destroying their own self worth.
I'm not saying our nation is where it should be in treating people equally. Far from it. But there is a better way to deal with these issues - rather than 'taking a stand' that you don't even understand. So much is paid for politics and they are letting other people tell them what to do. So many of us - me included - don't do anything because we don't know what to do. I know personally I don't want to have people "being ugly" when I have left them alone in the past. I am afraid of what they will do to me and to those I love if I speak my mind. I don't have all the answers. I don't know the truth of all things. All I know to do is to pray that things will be peaceful. For now though, I am concerned for my family and the ramifications of their own actions taken in anger. It sometimes takes a lot to provoke some to take action, and it has come to that it seems with the mention of sore knuckles. Oh God, help me not to be afraid, but put a shield about them and protect them.
God's Word says that we are to pray for our enemies. In doing so it heaps coals upon their heads. We have so many people who are evil in politics - out for vengence and nothing more. It's all political party against political party - and people do not understand how these parties were formed and what they have stood for in the past. They listen only to what is being said about the other party - and believe it. It is enough to make one sick at their stomach. I know it does me. So Father, I pray their eyes will be opened to what they are and what they are saying. I know You can bring good out of every situation, Lord, and I am asking You to bring good. Turn this election to Your favor, Lord. I am so afraid of what will happen if a certain party is elected. Protect Your people Lord, I know I am not the only one who is afraid. Break the enemy and restore Your nation.
So glad today is Friday. It shouldn't be too busy today, but I do have things I need to get completed for the office. Heard again yesterday in a meeting that things are moving forward to going back into the office the first of the year. Guess that they haven't chatted with the CMO of our company - we got an email from her yesterday that said through the end of January. I dunno. Right now I'm frustrated in that one of the directors wants an In-Person meeting - with social distancing - at a hotel - and I've gotten everything arranged - and I'm stuck in limbo because my big boss is saying 'we need to discuss it'. In the meantime, I have the hotel set up for a certain date and I can't even send them acceptance or denial yet. Hopefully I will get an answer this morning.
I felt rested when I got up this morning, but thinking about work, about issues, about things going on, now I want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head until it all goes away. Hubby will be meeting his friends for a Bible study/breakfast this morning so will be gone for a few hours. It would be nice to be alone, but I still have to work. I need to work on emptying boxes this weekend too. Still so much to get done. I've got to let things go.
Lord, please help me today. I'm really struggling with life. My heart grieves for my family issues and for our nation. I can not help in either situation and it hurts. All I know to do, Lord, is bring it to You and ask You to take care of them. I belong to You, Jesus, and I know I don't always do and say and live as You would want me to, and I ask forgiveness for that. You know my heart, Father, and You know I long to serve You and to be all Yours. I fall frequently, no matter how I long to do as You would do in certain situations. Only You can restore what has been taken away. Only You can make the blind see, the lame walk, the mute speak, the deaf hear. There is no One like You, Jesus. We need You. I need You. You know my heart and what I am feeling. Restore to me, O God, the joy of Your salvation. Show me what I need to do. Help me in my weakness. I am lost without You. I need You.
Thank you, Father, for I know that even with typing those words, You hear me. As You reach down to me, I am reaching up.
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