What was that?

 Something woke me at 2:13AM this morning.  I was in a deep sleep and I heard sounds coming from my side of the bedroom.  I can't really describe what the sound was... but it was like an old piece of wood chest was being opened, one creak at a time.  You know how it is when you are trying to be quiet and everything you touch makes a noise?  It was really weird, and it didn't happen just once.  It was like a drawer or chest being very slowly opened...and creaking.  Then I began to wonder, after several of these creaks over the next half hour; many several seconds apart.... could it be a spark in an outlet behind my cedar chest?  I pondered if anything was plugged in back there; I didn't get up to check, but will this morning.  The sound eventually stopped, but it kept me awake enough until it was time for me to get up.  And I didn't want to get up.  I really wanted to sleep more.

And I got an interesting call yesterday from Ms. Amy's daughter, Maria.  She was asking how we were, and if things were ok at Ms. Amy's house.  I told her I didn't know; I didn't have a key so couldn't go in and check and hadn't been over since they had left.  But I told her that I would walk over and do a walk around.  Wow.  The front gate was open (hadn't noticed it before, but then, I haven't been outside a lot in this heat) and I don't know how long.  I noticed some things missing from her front patio; a corner table, a couple pots; and I'm not sure what else.  And the front screen was unlocked.  The door into the house was locked... but the screen door was not.  Hmmmm.  Did Maria forget to lock it when she left?  I did a video of the front patio area, noting where I thought things were missing, i.e., the corner table, the pots, etc.  I walked around the side and to the back of the house - to find the screened in porch area was unlocked.  Another hmmmm.  I went in and checked the door into the house and it was locked.  But still.  Took a video of what was left in the screened porch - they had given us the patio set that was back there, but I don't know if anything else was taken.  Sent to videos to Maria and also sent her the posse's telephone number for her to call and ask them to keep an eye on the property.  Also, Maria made a comment she didn't know why  my key was taken away from me and was upset she had agreed with her older sister who had taken it.... but she was going to get another key made and sent to me right away so that I could go inside the house and check on things.  I told her that I don't go through things if that is what her sister was worried about... and she commented that she knew I didn't - and wouldn't.  Not that there is much of value left anyway that I'm aware of - just a lot of furniture.  Maria will be back out here after we return from our vacation in August.... they were going to come before, but decided to wait so I'd be there if they needed anything. :-)  Maria likes me.  I helped her with her mama so she trusts me.  Pam, her older sister, has only met me twice and only for a few minutes; she isn't that friendly.

It's Friday morning and hubby has his men's Bible study to go to shortly.  I enjoy (as you know) these times when I have a few hours alone - even when I'm working.  I think it is in September when the Tuesday morning group will start meeting again.   It does give hubby something productive to do, and he probably knows more about the Bible than I do with all the studies he has done.

I started reading a book last night that reads like it will be a good one.  It's on my Kindle and right now the title escapes me.  Can't even remember this author.  But it is good thus far.  I enjoy a book that relates to who I want to be in Christ.  I'm also reading a book in here by Mark Batterson  called  Praying for your Children.  Another good book on how we should be praying scriptures over our children. Pray even now Luke 2:52....

Luke 2:52 (NKJV):  "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man."

So how would we pray that verse over our children  We pray that they (by name) would increase in wisdom and stature, that they will find favor with God and man in all that they do.  For example, "no matter what the situation is, I pray that (name) will grow in wisdom and stature from this and will find favor with God and man."  Make sense?  You try it.  Start by inserting their name and praying that they will grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.  And then watch how God will answer His word being spoken over your children.

I wish I had known years ago how to pray that way for I would have prayed BEFORE they moved out these scriptures rather than my praying over them now!  Pray the scriptures over your children, no matter where they are.  You will never regret them being covered in His Word.

Got the agenda this morning for our upcoming trip (next week) to California.  It's a little over 10 hours... and throw in a couple stops for meals...  most of us will be in the RV.... some in the Journey behind the RV.... which is where we feel hubby should go.  Three little girls in the RV.... I'm not so sure hubby can handle the noise.  He's gotten better in his 'old age'.... but he still gets cranky.  I imagine I will get stuck most of the time in the car with him and whoever will be driving it.  There will be 4 drivers, and hubby nor I are included....grateful on both parts!   Still need to figure out a dress for the rehearsal dinner.  Guess I need to go through my closet this weekend and find something.  At least the dress for the wedding is figured out!   I'm thinking I may need to take that Monday off work after we return on Sunday night....  will make that decision soon.

I hear hubby moving about to get ready and since I am still in this  back room - haven't moved back out to the back of the house yet - I suppose I ought to get out of here so that he can get dressed.  He's trying to stay out until I do.

Enjoyed seeing my middle child briefly yesterday.  There are others who like the potato salad... but I made this batch special just for him.  As for the salsa... I had green peppers I needed to use; I use canned tomatoes so it wasn't them.... lol  read his blog this morning.  Hope he enjoys both.

Hope you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

I have my ritual....

 and one of them is typing in here each morning.  Yeah, I'm really late this morning, huh!  Had an hour session with my trainer this morning at 5:30AM and back home about 6:45AM... but then hubby wanted to chat so of course I gave him my undivided attention ... then had to get on the work computer to catch up from last night.  Just now had a chance to grab this computer and write some nonsense on it for you to read - if you check back later. :-)

I will be doing a run over to my middle child's this morning to take him some potato salad and salsa.  We don't get together much with them but because I know he likes it, thought I'd make and take him some. Actually, I had to make a fresh batch of potato salad.  Why?  Because....  I had kept a dish for hubby when I took some over to my daughter's for July 4th.  I also had a small dish for Ms. Diane (which I took over to her the night before) and a small dish for Ms. Vicky.  Well, hubby ate Ms' Vicky's dish for a snack that evening (without my knowledge).  When I decided to take some to my son, I thought I'd just take some of what I had saved back for hubby.... only to find he had already eaten over half of it too!  Now trust me, that man is not starving here!  LOL  I guess he likes my potato salad.  I think this last batch tastes even better than the first one, and I didn't make as much.  Anyway - will be running it over some time mid-day to my middle child.  I hope he likes it.

My trainer killed my arms this morning in training.  We did shoulders and biceps and delts and I don't know what all.  I'm just going to have to make myself get on the treadmill and watch my diet cause this belly isn't coming down... but my arms are getting stronger.  I actualy have biceps!  Now if I would just quit being lazy and get on the treadmill and work off some of this fat in the belly and butt and legs... I'd be in fine shape. :-)  Well, better.

At least I have a goal - sorta.  I currently have no plans to go visit relatives in another state.  But none of them are in great health, so I'm always wondering when I'll get that 'call'.  You know, the one like I got last year about my older sister.. but that one was totally unexpected.  Anyway... my goal is to get my weight down, get rid of my belly and be toned when I ever go back.  I want to 'blow my siblings away' with being in great shape.  Maybe that would give them an incentive.  Well, my big brother is always my incentive as he does workout for about an hour each morning plus works around the house a lot.  He has already challenged me to a 10 mile walk the next time we meet up.  He does encourage me to work out and keep my body healthy.  More so than any of the others, for sure!

I know this is short... but I do need to get some work done if I'm going to actually leave the building for my lunch hour today.  I know I'll be gone awhile and it's ok.  I usually work through lunch.   OOOHhhh - weinerschnitzel is on the way home......  

Hope you have an amazing day... hopefully I will be more 'with it' tomorrow.

Blessings!

Is it Wednesday....or Monday?

 I know I have emails/meetings to read and schedule this morning as I have 'peeked' at some of the emails that have come through while I have been off work.  I may have felt a bit frustrated I had to use another 8 hours of my 'pto' time to be off Monday, but the offices were closed (although my bosses were obviously working) and I had no reason, no project, to work.  And I'm grateful.  I really did need the 4 day weekend because I have been just so exhausted pysically and mentally.  Some caused by working out, yes, but this was more of a mental exhaustion, I think.  I doubt seriously if it was from mental exertion, other than stressing over finding times for meetings, but just plain tired.  Do you ever feel that way?  When all you want to do is hibernate and sleep until you finally feel rested?  Well, I DID take a few naps over the time off, even though some may be only ten minutes.  It was enough to revive.  Hopefully, my Wednesday will not be a Monday!  

I finished another book last night and met my goal for the year.  YAY me!  LOL  I set the bar low because I hadn't really kept track before... and only listed 36 books.  That still sounded like a lot to me!  But I have already done it by July 4th!  Could I possibly read another 36?  Maybe... it would really depend on the size of the book.  But the fact remains.... I did meet by goal, and what I do from now on will set the bar for what I will put down as goal for next year.  My son alwsays goes way over his goal ... I think this year it was 200 and he has already surpassed it.  I don't know how he can read so fast!

Which reminds me, I received a new book in the mail from an author I don't know.  I have a friend who writes split romance novels.. I forget what it is exactly called.  I don't read her books often for I just don't usually read novellas or romance novels, but occasionally it is a welcome thing to read.  I forget how my name got put in the hat, but she interviews other authors and sends an email out with the interview.  I think it is if we respond to a question, our name gets put in a 'hat'.  I must have responded because I won!  It came on Monday so I may just go ahead and read it next.  I did have my friend bring me several of her books last Saturday.  The physical books.  Some I have, but most I have on my kindle.  But, I enjoy giving books away that I like and it helps her too.  Yes, I paid for the books, therefore I can give them away.  I have one that I think my son would enjoy as it is based in Kokomo, Indiana.  Tales of the Hob Nob Cafe by Jennifer Lynn Cary.  It's not his typical style of book, and it's a 'stand alone'... thin... and an easy read.  I liked it anyway.  He can look it up and let me know. :-)

Yesterday was a relaxing day even though we were with others.  While hubby slept after lunch, I got in the pool with my daughter, son-in-law and the great-granddaughter.  She was so much fun.  I did get a little bit of sun, but we only stayed out about 40 minutes.  I laid back on the raft and just enjoyed watching thre three of them play.  I had my time of playing too and it was fun.  It was refreshing to just 'let everything go' and not think about anything and just float on the water.  I really did need the 4 day weekend more than I thought I did, I guess.

This week and next will be somewhat busy as we finalize our plans to go to California for the grandson's wedding.  An RV has been rented because there is no way hubby could drive it now.  Don't know that I could.  I have my dress for the wedding; still haven't decided on what to wear to the rehearsal.  All the hopes, dreams, and plans of my losing weight to look elegant didn't happen so 'it is what it is'.  At least I am now working out for my health!  But my fat will be going with me.  Need to buy some nylons though... yes, I still wear them, although not many do anymore.  I just think legs look better with a covering.

Hubby kind of goofed up and has a full day of appointments today.  He has his workout this morning. Then he has lab work to get drawn at his doctor's office, then off to the eye doctor, and I think he also has a haircut today... or does he.  Seems like there is something else after that.  He will be tired tonight forsure!  I have a feeling we may stay home from church prayer meeting tonight.  It was kind of interesting on Monday... he came home from his workout, sat down, and his phone rang - it was a former pastor/friend who he meets with on occasion.... he asked hubby if 11AM was the right time they agreed to meet - hubby didn't have it written down!  So he went as he was in his workout clothes (as it was about 20 til 11) and headed over to meet him for brunch.   He has such a busy social life.  Another friend called Monday morning and asked if they were meeting for breakfast... but hubby told him no, they didn't have anything this week (he normally meets him on Tuesdays)... but this man has the beginning stages of Alheimers so gets confused at times.

I was reading in one of my devotionals about Manasseh in II Chronicles 33 this morning. He was an evil king and the Bible says he shed so much innocent blood that he filled Jerusalem with it from one end to another (@ Kings 21:16).  God abandoned Judah because of the evil this king did.  But you know what?  We are never too far gone from God's grace.  

2 Chronicles 33:12 "When he was in distress, he entreated the Lord his God and humbled himslef greatly befor ethe God of his fathers."

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness.  He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep his anger forever.  He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor reward us for our iniquities.  

Psalm 103:11 (NKJV):  "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His mercy to those who fear Him."

Even when we have made unwise choices, even when we have been so stubborn to do things our way, He expersses His beautiful character to us by His forgiveness.  He longs to receive the rebellious back in to His arms.  He loves to give us His grace and see us blossom and grow from it.   T

There is nothing we have done, no matter how devastating and devious, can push us so far out of His love to reach us, rescue us, and restore us.  When we call to Him, He hears us.  He's waiting for us to call on His name, no matter what the problem is.

Even when we don't have problems, He loves to hear from us.  He loves us to call His name.  Want to know my favorite name to call Him?

He is my Nail in a sure place.  I know that sounds weird.  Several years ago I was reading a book about the Names of the Lord...  and that was there.  It has stuck with me.    He is like a Nail that is put in a piece of wood, or in the wall, and it is secure to hold whatever we put on it to hold.  It is secure for our treasured item to hold.  He is my 'nail in a sure place' because I know that no matter what, I can depend on Him to right wrongs, to tenderize the tough, to calm the raging storms of life.  He is my 'Nail in a sure place'.

What is He to you?  What would your favorite name for God be?  Think about it.  He has so many names.  Sovereign, Holy, Father, Lord, ... and so many others besides those... He is the River of Life, He is our Hope, He is....    Take a moment and tell Him.  Think of the names you know Him by.  Rescuer? Redeemer? Friend? Restorer? Provider? Banner? Refresher?   

Thank Him for who He is.

Blessings!

The strength in my arms....

 seems to be gone right now.  I didn't sleep well last night to start with, awakening several times and thinking about my boys....  and then I had a workout with my trainer this morning.  He hurt me.  Well, not really.  But he did stretch me beyond what I thought I could do.  We did 'push' on upper body this morning - chest, triceps, shoulders.... and I don't know what all.  All I know is that all the strength in my arms is gone right now.  I'm going to have to keep them moving in order to use them.  He said he upped my weights on a couple, plus he had me do twelve reps instead of just 10 (3 sets!!).  Whew.  Then we whizzed through the exercises and had about 10 minutes left.  He gave me an option... cardio or abs.  I told him abs, thinking I could do them.  Are you kidding me?  I could barely lift my legs; it felt like they were lead, and we didn't even work legs today!  What is that all about?  

And then I remembered... and wondered if that could be what is making the difference in why I am feeling so exhausted... I donated blood yesterday. I would have thought it would be 'replaced' by now... but I still feel so tired.  Even now that I'm back home.  I feel I have no strength in my arms and shoulders.  He encouraged me by saying "you will really feel it tomorrow".  O lucky me.

It was nice to be off work yesterday and I did get some things done.  I did donate blood; I responded to a letter I had received; I did some shopping at Sam's Club; I came home and made some things for today so I wouldn't have to do it this morning.  What else did I do?  I don't remember.  But it seemed to be a fairly productive day.  Hubby wanted to watch a movie last night but I told him no..  (oh yeah, I visited Ms. Diane, she came home yesterday)... it was 7PM and I knew I'd be yawning by 8... and sure enough, I went to bed at my usual 8:30-ish.  He stayed up for awhile; don't know when he came to bed.

Off work again today since it is the 4th.  I really should get on my work computer; some people just couldn't stay off work ... I see I have over 20 emails so I may jump on some time today and clear them out. But then, they will still be there in the morning..............

Psalm 33:12 "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He has chosen as His own inheritance."

Our nation was founded on on the Lord.  Have you ever read some of the history of the signing of the Declaration of Independence?  I did at one time, many years ago.  It would be interesting to find it again and read.  The men who signed the Declaration of Independence gave themselves to prayer and dependence upon God for this nation to survive.  We should well learn from those times.  All these storms, earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, tornados... I truly believe - in my humble opinion - that if our nation followed God..... these things would not be happening.  Yes, Bad things happen to good people too.... I get that... but if we truly turned our hearts and minds back to God, and followed Him, I truly and honestly believe that He would protect us and these things would not happen.  God have mercy.

It's already 89 degrees out and it isn't even 8AM yet.  Think it's going to be warm day?  We're going to the daughter's for lunch cookout.  They have an above ground pool, which I just may get in!  Hubby has already stated he is NOT... (I really think he would have difficulty with the stairs to get in and out - I definitely do!   But one can't stay out side - even in water - too long when it is this hot.  Give me a fan and a good book and I'll be happy. :-)

As mentioned above, Ms. Diane came home yesterday.  The son had told me earlier that they were still looking for an assisted living, but $6-7K a month is a lot.  Yes it is.  I know Ms. Amy's was $7K a month and she is now paying $8K a month in Florida.  But she also has money.  I don't think Ms. Diane has that much, although enough to live on and her house is paid for.  It was interesting when her son brought Ms. Diane home yesterday... I went over because he was having difficulty getting in the house and I chatted briefly with Ms. Diane.  He went on and on about how racist she was, how her parents had been racist... and how mean she was to the black nurses at the facility she had been at.  I was shocked - and told him so - and called him out on it - because when I have been there on the weekend and a black nurse did come in, Ms. Diane was always - always - very polite and kind to them.  She carried on a conversation with them.  I disagreed with him.  He mentioned she  had one black PT person that said that Ms. Diane was always hateful and rude to her..... interestingly, Ms. Diane has told me about this one black PT person who always came in with a chip on her shoulder and was very rude and mean.  Perception perhaps?  Her son always seems to look for the negative to condemn his mother with.  It is so sad.  They have bucked heads for years, I guess.  Ms. Diane was telling me last night that she got along with all of her nurses and they all - but this one - came out to tell her goodbye when she left.  As for my conversation with the son that I disagreed with him, his comment back to me was 'well, thsoe are the weekend nurses'.  Like, what has that to do with it.  I think he just doesn't like his mother and wants to put her down as much as he can.  As much as he sees her, which isn't frequent, thank goodness, she always goes in to a depressed tailspin afterwards. He never encourages her or builds her up.  Oh wel, I can't change anything, but I can pray that God will soften his heart towards his mother.  He also commented HE had to see after everything because he is the only one who doesn't work full time (he is disabled as he had his leg amputated (cancer) several years ago and I don't know what he does... but obviously he can afford to work part time - he does a lot of other things.

Long rambling, huh?  I love Ms. Diane and I love just sitting and chatting with her.  She makes me laugh.  She was a nurse for 35 years so she knows what is going on in her body.... and I have tried to encourage her to eat all her meals and get up and walk...  or she will go right back to the 'hell-hole' as she called that facility.  Her room was always so dark.  Her choice in rebellion, I'd guess.  But I still love her.  She brings me joy.  She told me last night she'd be calling me.... but she'll forget.  And that's ok.  She's 87 and she's allowed to.

Yes, I allow hubby to forget things too... at 86 he does... and it scares the heck out of me sometimes.  I keep wondering how I can get Life 360 back on his phone without him being aware of it so that I can track him in case he gets lost sometime.  We used to have it... but he would sit and watch everywhere I went and determine how long it would take me to get home.  Remember when I was on 7th street on the way home from work and had to sit through 2-3 lights because of an accident?  He had called me, wanting to know if I was ok... my car hadn't moved in ten minutes.  Yeah.. he needed to delete that app.  But, I keep thinking that maybe if I explain why I want it back on his phone (so that I can track him when he's out by himself)... but if he starts doing what he did before, I will block him checking me.  But I'm afraid to, because I don't trust him.  He has to know all about me, where I'm going, how long, who what when where.  Oh well.

And now I have nothing to share.... need to get out of here and start on the day, although I don't know what I'll do before  we leave in 3-4 hours.  Hubby will be chomping at the bit to leave in a couple hours, I'm sure.

Hope that you have a good fourth of July.  May we as a nation turn back to God so that He will once again bless us.

Blessings!

Sleep eludes me...

 My mind woke much earlier than my body did this morning and the body did NOT want to get up.  But, alas, it was of no good to stay in bed.  I could feel (and hear) hubby moving around awake as well, so went ahead and got up.  I wanted to go back to sleep so came in here and curled up in the recliner... but it wasn't long before hubby was bringing my coffee so that wasn't going to happen.

My coffee is now gone; I've got my clothes on, and it's only 6:16AM.  And I am off work today.  Whoo Hoo!  I could have worked today... but why?  I only have a couple meetings left over from last week - and that won't take long, plus I couldn't get the answers I need, more than likely.  So here I am.  I did schedule a blood donation at 11:15AM so I will at least get out of the house today.  Maybe I'll stop at Michael's on the way back... but why?  There is nothing I need.  At Needles of Hope last week we had a large yarn donation and I brought home two bags of yarn.  I usually bring what is left after the others choose what they want.  They are much more talented than I am with my two-three stitches....  I will take them over to my daughter's tomorrow and she and my granddaughter can pick out some that they want.  I certainly don't need all I brought home, nor do I have room for it all.  I did finish a baby blanket last night that I started on Saturday.  If I focus, I can get a baby blanket done every 2-3 days.   

But I've gotten back in to my reading now and I can't do both - especially since hubby lives by his TV shows.  B-O-R-I-N-G.  Yes, I like a good movie every once in awhile... but I like to read too... just because he has all the time in the world to read - he wants to watch TV.  UGH.  And he gets mad if I come in here to get away from the noise.  I started to put my headset on yesterday to listen to an audible book while he had the TV on - and he got mad and turned it off.  I can't win some days.  If I had my headset on, I can't listen to him.  So I read after he turned it off.  I tell him he has a social addiction.  It's either the TV or his computer or his phone.  When the TV is off I can read (if I'm not working)... if it's on, I crochet.  

Hubby does have a workout scheduled this morning, for which I'm grateful.  I get alone time.  We didn't go over the weekend.  He always makes a big deal in the middle of the week that WE are going to the gym on the weekend... usually a Friday...  but I work Fridays... and he doesn't go... and I don't say anything... so well, here it is Monday and another weekend has gone by without him working out.  Not that I do a lot, but I do have my weights and treadmill here so can do something - and usually do.  Today I plan to get a short workout in while he is gone - but I also have to watch the clock; need to leave about 10:45 to make my blood donation appointment.   I do have a workout appointment tomorrow morning at 6AM so that will get my blood pumping and moving tomorrow.

Things that make you go 'awwwwww'.....  we went to church yesterday and at one point our pastor told us to get  up and welcome 2-3 people around us.  Well, I shook a few hands and chatted briefly, then I saw a baby withit's mama in the back row (we sit about 4 rows up from the back).  I went back and commented on what a beautiful baby she was ... and asked how old, for she was quite tiny.  I was told she was one month old.  I'm still awing over this baby (she really was beautiful!) and asked her name. You won't believe this!  (and that's what I told the mama too!)  Her name is Nova.  That made her even more beautiful.  LOL  I was blown away.  I've actually met one other person whose name was Nova up in Flagstaff at a restaurant... and I've talked to people on the phone for work over the years - or people tell me they know someone or there is one couple in Pioneer Village that has a granddaughter named Nova... but I hadn't met a baby yet.  The mother couldn't believe it either and even spelled it out for me to be sure I knew how it was spelled... yep.  Same as mine.  Pretty cool, huh.  

Well, I suppose I need to go either fix a shake or eat a good breakfast since I'm donating blood this morning.  Maybe I'll read for a bit first - it isn't even 7AM yet.  I don't want to leave my room and the quiet.  Maybe I'll go outside... before it gets too hot... but I know hubby will soon follow.  Oh well. It is what it is.

I've got nothing to share to today... got a lot on my heart that I'm praying about ... so think I'll just hushf or now.

Hope that you have an amazing day.

Blessings!

It felt good....

I just erased three long paragraphs.  Why?  Because.  I have got to quit being so wordy and sharing way too much stuff that no one cares to read.  Ok - let's see if I can summarize what I had just written.

I visited Ms. Diane yesterday. She was upset her bed wasn't made (they had asked to make it earlier but she declined) yet and it was after 1PM.  A young woman came in to make it while I was there. I asked Ms. Diane about her being cold so much, and related the few verses of King David having a young woman lay with him when he was old to keep his body warm.  The young woman making the bed said she was learning something too as she had just started reading her Bible.  It felt good to remember something to share.....

Today is Sunday and we'll be getting ready for church soon.   And to think I have two more mornings... nope, actually just one... Monday... that I can just stay in my room alone and read for a bit longer.  Tuesday I have a 6AM workout scheduled.   LOL  I was going to type in 'I can just languish in my room' but I wasn't sure whether it was languish or lanquish... looked it up and glanced at the definition - it means to 'be weak or faint' - oh and it is languish.  That wasn't what I was thinking it meant... I was thinking it meant to just be lazy and do nothing.  Glad I looked it up - I didn't mean it for weak for faint - but just being still.

Psalm 23:3 (NKJV):  "He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

The 23rd Psalm often comes to me when I am quiet and thinking about God's goodness to me.  I love how it comforts me when I am in turmoil inside.  I love how it calms my spirit down when I am 'over the top'. He restores my soul.  Doesn't that even 'sound' peaceful?  

When was the last time you were quiet before God and allowed Him to restore your soul?  What does that mean, anyway? I love how it defines it in my study Bible.... "Humanity needs soul restoration because of spiritual carelessness, difficult circumstances, secret sin, and the world's influence.  The Creator of heaven and earth desires intimate involvement with His people, wanting to lead them, not just point the way". 

We sometimes let the world influence us on how we are to live.  We sometimes let people.  We sometimes have our own 'secret sins' or things that turn us away from God.... but He so longs to gather you in to His loving arms and restore you (and me!) and lavish His love and care upon you.  Are you willing to let Him?

Writing that reminds me of a chorus I have shared many months ago... you will probably remember it as well... 

"Fill my cup, Lord, I lift it up, Lord.  Come and quench this thristing of my soul.  Bread of heaven, feed me til I want no more.  Fill my cup, fill it up, and make me whole."

I think each of us has a soul just thirsting for more of God.  We sometimes get confused as to what it is we long for, we thirst for... and fill it with the things of this world.  But for today, this moment, what if.... just what if... you would allow yourself to believe that God can fill this empty void you have inside of you.  He can, you know.

Why don't you take a moment and just sit still in silence and reflect on where you are in life.  Is that where you thought you would be 5 years ago? 10 years ago? 20 years ago?  

I can honestly say I am not where I thought I would be .... but by the grace of God, I am where I am for this moment in time.  Sitting here at my computer sharing with you the goodness and love of God.

He loves you so much, He allowed His one and only Son, His beloved Son, to the cross to die a wretched death - for you and me. There is no greater love.  Take a moment and thank Him.

Blessings!

I moved back.....for the weekend anyway

 I'm back in my room this morning.  It actually feels better.  I will, for the time being, continue to go into the back room where the desk is that I use Monday - Friday.... but on weekends I have more time to read and just be with God.  So this morning I decided to come back in here.  I've cleaned the area up some and it since I don't have to go to work, don't feel as jailed as I did.  Hubby doesn't really understand why I wanted to come back in here.  I feel I have more privacy.  I could hear him moving about in his chair and all when I was in the back room - and he could hear my sniffles and sneezes that come early in the morning at times.  And he would make the coffee, which would be just on the other side of me.  If that was the ONLY place I could go, it would work.  And during the week, being 'forced' to sit up and not lay back in the recliner.... it helps keep me awake.  But the chair is uncomfortable and I slump over the desk.  More beneficial to lay back in the recliner some, right? :-)   I just like my privacy ... and when I want to talk to God.... I want to talk with God... not whisper or just write in my journal my thoughts.  When I'm out in the open, every word is heard... well, considering he doesn't put his hearing aids in that early, maybe only some words.... but I find I just do 'mind prayers' while at the desk so that I have my 'privacy' in my prayers.   I guess I am still hung up on this verse...

Matthew 6:6 (NKJV):  "But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly."

I don't always have to be here in my room to pray.... I can pray anywhere... and many times I am also praying when I'm out in my car; taking a walk; or even taking a break to read.  But in the mornings when i read my Bible and spend dedicated time with God... I love to be able to 'shut the door' and shut out the world around me and just be alone with Him.

I tried to take off early yesterday; I had gotten permission.  But, my one boss decided to catch up on requesting meetings and of course a few were 'urgent'.  I turned it off at 4PM... but noticed that he sent one email that wants a meeting fairly soon.... I may jump on the computer sometime while I'm off and just do it.  Or not.  I'm really grateful to have 4 days off and not have to 'worry' about work stuff.  Hopefuly I will sleep a little later.  I did try to sleep later this morning, but alas, 3:23AM my mind was on a roll.  Come to think about it, I had a really odd dream, but can't remember what it was specifically now.  It was totally off the wall.  I remember asking God if He was trying to tell me something in this dream... must not have since I don't remember it.  Usually I try to write down the dream so that in time I can go back to it and see if I can figure out what it means.  Not this one, unless it comes to mind later.

Reminds me of the movie 'Mountain Top'.  It was a great movie and I may suggest to hubby we watch it again this afternoon.  There is a man who had dreams .... and they came true.  But the dreams are not exactly what you think they might be... but his dreams were forth-telling.  Yeah, I think that might be a good one to watch again.  You know we will have to watch movies since I have all this 'extra time', right?  Hubby asked last night about watching movies or did I want to read.... I just looked at him.  He left the TV off and I finished one book and got started on another.  

This book will hit my quota on Goodreads - after this, let's see how high I can go!  I only put 36 books cause in the past I don't think I read as much.  But I have been purposefully reading more - and enjoying it.  Sometiems I think hubby wants to be me... does that make sense?  The past few weeks he keeps asking me what I'm reading and to let him know so that he can read it too.  He asked again last night.  I knew he wouldn't be able to 'get into' the book I had just finished so didn't suggest it.  That book was written 15-20 years ago and although I understood it, wasn't sure that hubby would.  He just finished Divine Connection that I had read a week or so ago.  He's reading two books that he says are so intense that he can't read before going to bed.  One is Counter Punch but I don't remember the author.  It's about the times we are in policically so I thought he would find it interesting.  And it is... he says... but it is so disturbing what is happening in the political field that he finds himself 'worked up' over it. I haven't read it; not sure that I will.

I have Needles of Hope this morning and a Zoom meeting in the middle of it with our pastor's wife and some other women.  They asked me to give my testimony at the next women's crew on July 22nd... (and I scheduled my colonoscopy on July 21st?)... and they want to discuss the order us six-seven women will go in.  I am struggling with something on it.  I may have mentioned this before, so bare with me.  I received a text a week or so ago from our pastor's wife and she gave several 'labels' we were to choose from as to what our testimony was under.  That list hit me like a ton of bricks.  They were words like 'neglected', 'divorced', 'rejected'.... and others... all negative words.  I could not choose a word to put myself 'under'.... so I didn't respond to her and will need to address it today.  I choose to use the word 'Redeemed'.  I want something positive, not negative, hanging over my life.  I know from whence I came.  I know what a sinner I was... but I am not that person any more, thanks to the grace of God.  I choose to live a positive life (which is why life is hard sometimes.... my positivity hits against negativity all the time)... and I don't want a negative label.  Will see how that goes.

Today is July 1st...   this year is already half over, can you believe it?  Sitting here and tryng to think about what I have accomplished this first half of the year... and other than purposefully reading more, I honestly can't think of anything great that I've done.  Kind of sad, isn't it?  We should live our life meaningfully; making impact with others and doing things that build others up.  So with that thought in mind... what will I do with the remaining 6 months of the year...  I would really like to facilitate a class.  But I'm still getting acquainted with people at church and I want to get to know them, and them me, before jumping in to a commitment to teach.

The book I'm currently reading is Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson.  In it he talks about the passion that we have for something.  That passion is what we are to do for God's glory; that passion is what He has given us.  I sat back as I was reading it last night (I'm already halfway through the book and hope to finish it later today or tomorrow) and I asked myself what my passion was.  My passion sometimes gets stomped on and pushed aside ... not going in to details... but another of my passions is teaching about Jesus.  I thoroughly enjoy encouraging people to follow Jesus, to study, to read.  I love teaching classes that help them, because I do the study and research as well, and it helps me grow.  I miss that deep study.  I've restarted Seeking Him, the workbook I taught several times, and was wanting to do with my sister last year but she chose not to do it.  There were excuses... but I feel, as it is what most have responded with in the past, that it is more 'it is too much effort to be accountable' and 'I don't want things in my face about what I need to change in me'.  Well, I know I have a lot of changes in me to make yet, and this book always helps me see them, so I started with day one of the first week this morning and hope to take my time and go through the study again.

We didn't make it over to the gym last night so may go later this afternoon.  I can do some upper body and walking, but certainly don't plan to do much leg work.  I'm still walking very clumsily from my workout on Thursday... my legs are sore!

Hope that you take some time out this weekend for you... that you take the time to meditate on who you are, who you have become, what you want to be.  Are there changes you need to make in you?  None of us are perfect.  There is always something we can do differently, do better.  Maybe...  well, you figure it out.  I know things I need to work on, and I'm sure you know what you need to work on.  What is your priority?  What is your passion?  What is it that you know that you know you need to do and just don't want to?  Maybe this weekend is a good time to start on it.

Blessings!