so I took today off work. And I'm enjoying my time with God this morning and snuggling and taking naps. I sure do love these mornings of not having to get on the computer and can just take my time, reading my bible, writing in my journal, taking naps, reading my devotions or other books... and just relaxing with God. I do so love these moments and that is part of the reason I'm such a whiner about wanting to quit work. I want this every morning, not just on weekends when nothing is on the agenda.
I do have a lot of things I want to get done today, plus I am meeting a co-worker for lunch. I haven't seen her since we were sent home from the office. She is also one I had invited for dinner the other week - and then she got the flu and could not come. It will be fun to catch up. I need to return items to Kohls, Penney's, and run by the UPS office.... and no, I don't have plans to shop.... I quit. I'm done. If they aren't happy with what they get, then they have the wrong thought of the season. Right?
Hubby has caught a really bad cold.... and is frequently coming to me with the question "what else can I take?" Not much help there.... drugstores are out of a lot of things and I haven't gone to see if more has come in. Maybe I will stop in today and see what they have. Surely, though, he is slowly getting better. Still coughing and sneezing a lot... and I'm grateful I'm not. We're sleeping in separate beds at least through the weekend so hopefully he doesn't give it back to me.
I baked a couple batches of cookies last night and want to get one more done today or tomorrow. Then I'll box up and send some (not all) to my friend in Georgia. I don't go crazy with 'Christmas cookies'... I don't do the fancy stuff. I just bake. Last night it was oatmeal raisin cookies, and chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies. No white chocolate chips, just chocolate. Using up my surplus from last year; haven't needed to buy any new yet - these have been in the freezer so hope they are still ok.
I was kind of sad last night as I baked, and was grateful I could stay in the kitchen. I know I need to reach out to a couple grandchildren to see if they are able to come over this year to bake cookies. Last night I was missing them all. Missing the laughter, the fun we had in baking. Oh those were fun times for me, and I hope this time of year brings back good memories for them as well. That was the entire purpose of doing it all those years; that they would have special memories of baking cookies at Grandma's. Christmas mice went by the wayside last year; no one wanted to make them of those who were able to come. And that's ok. They are too sweet anyway. I thought about calling my children to see if they wanted to come bake. But I didn't. I even gave up Tuesday Girls Night Out... wanted to relax and bake. It's good therapy for me.
Revelation 21:4 (NKJV): "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."
I realize that this season, for a lot of people, is painful. Memories of those close to us who have passed on pop up on Facebook. Thoughts of things we did with others jump in to our minds. Our hearts grow heavy with the memory. But what do we do with those? Unfortunately, my youngest tries to drink his pain away. So much drama in his life and he lives in it constantly; he refuses to get out of it. My greatest fear is that one of these days he will do something.... I understand depression over things; I go through it at times. I imagine we all do deal with sadness in various degrees and stages. Some people it causes them to take to their beds with depression. For some, they turn to drinking, thinking it will ease the pain of loss, but all it does is compound it. Some eat their depression. Some withdraw. I guess I tend to withdraw somewhat, before I decide to 'get busy' and put other things in my mind. But this time of year affects me too.
My big brother died on Christmas Eve, 2002. It's not easy to forget that date, nor my big brother. I miss my mama. I miss my little brother, Buddy, who passed just before Thanksgiving in 1996. I miss family being family. I miss my big sister; our chats, my trying to figure out what to send her for Christmas. I miss living life with them, albeit far away.
But I can hold on to Revelation 21:4 because I know that there will be a time that God will wipe our tears away and we will no longer have to deal with death, nor the pain of loss, nor cry for our sorrow. He will give us what we need to restore our hearts to wholeness, if we let Him. And that is what I choose. Even yet today, when my heart is heavy for those passed, I can believe in Jesus and the pain He endured for me, to remove my sins far from me regardless of what they were or are, and He shall restore what the enemy has taken away from me. He has stolen my joy.
He will restore Hope in living. He will restore Joy in the sorrow. He will restore Love. Oh Jesus has all the answers for the sadness we feel. How do you think I get through each day? Trust me, if it wasn't for Jesus, I shudder to think what my life would be like. Jesus is my life, and He makes life worth living, for the time I have.
It truly is all about Jesus. When we turn to Him, He will supply all you need to get through any sadness. Doesn't mean it will all go away; we will always miss those we love. But He will give us also the good memories and we can have joy in those.
Blessings!
