Pride is a downfall....

 As I worked on my lesson this morning for our class, it was about pride.  Now, I have taught this class several times; I have done this workbook on my own a few times.  I don't recall ever being convicted of pride in this one area.  No, I'm not going to share what it is (and I'm not being prideful about it) because it is something personal.  But as I thought about it this morning, I realize what I have been doing is wrong.  Yes, I admit it.  I have faults.  I do things wrong.  More often than I really want to admit it.  I need to do what God has called me to do.

Perhaps He was also revealing it somewhat in a silly dream I had this morning as my alarm kept buzzing on my wrist and I kept turning it off unconsciously - or semi-consciously.  It was a silly dream, in my opinion, and I have no idea where it came from.  I am assuming we all have these silly dreams from time to time, come out of nowhere and make no sense at all.  Do you really want to hear what that dream was?  Go ahead, roll your eyes.  I did.  In the dream, I was still in bed, hubby was up.  My youngest son was about 7 or 8 years old.  My oldest is a few years older than he is.  He was dressed up as a tooth fairy.  Don't laugh.  Seriously!!  He had on a big white tooth costume made of the material these blow up dinosaurs have.  My daughter had on a toothbrush costume.  I have no idea what that dream as all about and I'm sure I didn't eat anything last night to give me such a dream.  But they had come in to the bedroom and hubby had knelt by the bed and we both were watching them.  That's it.  That's the dream.  I told you it was silly.  Lucky you, oldest son, that you weren't in it. No costume for you!  haha

I had a fairly quiet evening last night.  Hubby went to his Bible study.  I went to the great-granddaughter's soccer practice.  Afterwards I came home and watched one of my favorite chick-flick movies and finished up a baby blanket to donate.  By the time hubby came home, I was listening to an audible book and just being still.  My silence was broken as I heard about all that was discussed.  But I did have a bit of time to myself and it was good.

Yesterday was busy with work.  I did attend the other nutrition class and it also was interesting.  I got the contract finished that I was requested to type.  My eyes were burning after that one.  I had emailed the contract to my personal email so that I could print it out rather than flipping screens.  The print was so small (you know how contracts are!) and staring at it then going to a computer screen really hurt my eyes.  They were actually red by the end of the day.  

I think I told you about dropping my clip on sunglasses a couple weeks ago and getting them back, only one side had been stepped on.  I finally got my act together after work and drove to where I had gotten them from and asked if they would be able to fix them.  I was afraid to have someone try to bend that metal back for I was afraid it would snap.  It took them about 20 minutes, but they fixed them good enough that I can use them on my glasses as before.  AND, there was no charge!  That was the best part.  I asked out of curiosity how much a new pair would cost - and she said "don't quote me, but probably about  $150".  Guess I need to take better care of these.

Romans 8:28 (NKJV):  And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

I think we all have thought or spoken those words either in our mind or out loud at some point in our life.  I know I have.  Whenever things are going tough, we look for the good in them.  Financial issues?  Well, maybe one shouldn't recklessly spend money without counting the cost.   Tummy got you upset?  What did you over eat or over drink that you should have stopped when you felt that nudge to stop?  (I get this one - sometimes it is so good we just can't stop!)  Arguing and conflict in relationships?  Does it really matter whose fault it is?  Sometimes we need to overlook the fault and still love the person and let our forgiveness influence them.  (Sometimes they need to be 'told' (nicely) that what they did was wrong.  Sometimes they don't realize it.)  I could go on and on how we rationalize that 'all things work together for good' when things are revealed to us.

I could even say that my lesson this morning that identified pride in my life is working all things together for good.  I love God.  I am called according to His purpose.  I know that He has shown me what I must do (not do if I feel like it, but do it because He tells me I need to) to release the pride I've been holding on to of being 'right and justified' in what I do.  I think it is also called 'eating humble pie'. Oh man, I do not like that at all!  Humble pie isn't real good when it's made, but once you are past that first bite, it is the sweetest and best you ever had.

Maybe you need to look at your life and attitudes.  Where is it that you are being prideful.  No, don't just call it being stubborn.  We are NOT always right, even though we may think we are.  Just because someone did something that we didn't like and we hold it against them does not make us right.  It makes us unforgiving and stubborn and prideful in our own righteousness.  How do I know this?  Because I'm dealing with it.  And, God has convicted me of it.  Now it's up to me to eat that first bite of humble pie and make it right.  I need to let it go.  Why?  Because it sets me free.  If there is another person involved, it probably never entered their mind there was an issue.  We are the ones holding ourselves in bondage.  Isn't it time to let it all go and let go of our pride?  Ouch.  This is going to hurt.  Pray for me to take the first bite, as I pray for you.

Blessings! 

All I want to do is sleep....

 of course it is that way most mornings anymore, but good grief! I took a pain pill about 5PM last night - surgery area was really hurting yesterday (and Dr. office called and said that was to be expected; 3rd day after surgery)... and I went to bed around 7PM I think it was.  I saw no sense sitting there trying to stay awake either reading (lost cause to stay awake) or crocheting.  I slept sound until 11-ish, then went back to sleep, and I could swear someone rang the doorbell around 1AM.  I was having stupid crazy dreams by this time - and dingdong!  I know that is what I heard!  Just one time. The thought occurred to me - did Fed Ex deliver?  They always ring the doorbell.  Could it have been Amazon?  What about UPS?  One of the kids?  But it didn't ring again so I dozed back off and didn't go check.  I thought briefly that maybe the garage door was left open again (it sometimes gets forgotten) and the neighbor was letting us know it was open - but why ring the doorbell just one time?  I'm thinking a package got left cause I heard hubby go outside this morning (I told him about it when he brought my coffee in) and he walked outside - could he have found a package?  What in the world did I order that was so important to be delivered at 1AM?  Stay tuned on that one - although I may forget.

After all that sleeping last night - yes, I fell asleep again in here this morning - unintentionally.  I lost an hour somewhere so I am thinking I fell asleep.  I had my eyes closed anyway.  And I blame it all on the oxycodone.  We have a funeral to go to this morning; hopefully the pain will stay subsided enough that I won't need that strong of a pill.  Maybe I'll take an ibuprofen to keep it at bay - although it makes me sleepy too.  Hubby wants to leave at 9AM although the funeral is at 10AM.  It will take us about 20-25 minutes to get there - maybe - but this man had a lot of friends - after all, he was 93 and he had been working int he prison ministry for years before he was forced into retirement.  He was a great and godly man, for sure, and greatly loved by everyone.  He used to encourage me in ministry and could talk to someone for hours - if you'd let him.

We're doing well on the fast thus far, I think.  Hubby grumbles at times, but I've managed to fix different vegetables and some in different ways (like brussel sprouts in the air fryer - even I can eat them from there-and I don't like them!   I did fix chicken salad last night, mixed with grapes and walnuts and celery.  Did you know that nuts are a fruit?  LOL Hubby asked me last night if cashews were a fruit - he was joking, but I googled it - and technically - it IS!  It said nuts were a fruit because it was inside of a shell.  Or something like that. You can google that question.  That made him happy since he got two containers of cashews for Christmas.   Yes, I know, chocolate isn't a fruit.  LOL

Matthew 6:33 (NKJV):  "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

When you seek God first, whether it be in how you live, what you eat (or don't eat), friends you make or let go of - when you seek Him first, life is always so much better.  Trust me, I know this for a fact.  I know I am not the same person I was 42 years ago - and for some of it, I'm grateful that I have a loving heavenly Father that will take hold of me and shake me loose and set my feet on His solid ground.  Well, really, all of it, but I was thinking about ways I've changed over the years that I wish I still had - like a personality.  I have to step out of my comfort zone anymore to do what I enjoy doing.  And that's all I will say about that.  Some times one has to weigh what is more important - obeying God or having things my way.  I chose - and choose - God.

I remember working through one study and I got to a certain chapter and I could not get past it.  I would not change that part of my life.  I remember going to the altar one day and praying about it, and later a dear male friend stopped and asked me if everything was ok, for I had been crying.  I shared with him about this chapter in the book and the difficulty I was having in being obedient in this one area.  Yeah, it had to do with hubby.  Don't even remember the chapter now.  Whatever it was, after talking with him, I felt so much better, and was able to get through that chapter and finish that book.  That's what friends are for.  Help you when you are struggling.  No, I didn't meet him 1:1; we were still at church in a public place.  Meeting 1:1 with a member of the opposite sex could cause problems if you are alone.  Nope, didn't do that.  I don't even remember what he answered; I just know it helped me.  

When you see someone who looks like they may be struggling - take a moment and just ask if they are ok.  If there is something you could pray with them about.  Let them know you care and are willing to just listen and not offer solutions or advice.  Be there for them.  That is what a real friend is.

I usually run to God with all my problems; but, as you know, I ramble on in here about some of them as well.  Sometimes it helps just to type them out - and then I realize they aren't such a big deal after all.  Most times it is just my 'don't want to' getting in the way of 'I have to'.  

Hubby decided not to go to the men's group this morning at church (pickles!) and gave a lame excuse he wouldn't be ready in time to go to the funeral if he did.  Figure that one out.  No, don't bother.  He just didn't want to go - why doesn't he just say that?   I probably should go to the grocery sometime today as well; hubby is out of bananas cause I have been eating one the past few mornings - it's soft and cool and felt good on my surgery spot should it move to that side.  This morning I think I'll just drink a premier protein shake - it fills me up and gives me 30g of protein.  All good.  

And.... I need to get moving and start getting ready if we are going to leave by 9AM.  It's about 20 until 8AM.  Yeah, I allow myself at least an hour, although it doesn't take that long.  I'd rather have time to spare than rush and forget to put mascara on.  :-) Not that it matters.  It's not about me.  

I bought a hydrotropic plant holder and it arrived yesterday.  I have it in here until I decide whether or not I will keep it.  I keep thinking I want to grow some vegetables - but can't do it outdoors - and this is very small.... I need to read about it - I may send it back.  After all, there is only two of us.  But still, I want to grow things.  I can grow flowers in it too.  And herbs.  Need to read the instructions.  I've always wanted one.... this is a small one.  Much cheaper than the 'Lettuce Grows' one I almost bought - for nearly $1k - it was on a huge stand and you could grow all kinds of fruits and vegetables.  This one holds only 12.  Yeah, still processing.  Stay tuned.

Ok - gotta go.  Time is getting away from me.  Have a good day!

Blessings!