besides the drama going on .... I didn't share this the other day... well, I did... but then erased it. I had hoped we were done with this situation, but alas, it seems we are not. Hubby responded to a scam last Friday, I think it was... we got our money back that they tried to take out of the joint account.... but... the bank insisted we change our checking account. I may have mentioned that part. Anyway... the account was changed... which meant I had to go in to my direct deposit account at work and remove the old account and insert the new one. Hindsight I should have left it alone until after today as the two accounts are linked for 90 days. Well... in removing the 'old' account, somehow I removed mine as well, and I had to add the new one and mine back in .... which threw them into pending.... sigh. I did get an email that I'll get a 'global pay card'.... I'm hoping it will come in the mail today because the paycheck did not hit the new or old account, nor did it hit my account. Which means... "where is my paycheck?" UGH. At least there is enough money in savings to cover any bills that are due, but it's going to be frustrating waiting on the mail to be delivered to see if it comes today - or tomorrow. I think he feels remorseful he did this to us...because it has been one thing after another. I didn't get a new debit card, but he did. He tried to use it yesterday and was told it wasn't good. He went down to the bank and it was all screwed up. Another card will be mailed to him. I have to go down and get one for myself, although I never use that account for anything. But, one never knows, some day I may need to. It's going to be a l-o-n-g day. But it hasn't stopped hubby from meeting his friends for breakfast and dinner! Oh no! He just asked me for money or my debit card. And of course I gave it to him.... heaven forbid he would just grab something here and then have coffee. He says he is keeping track so that he can reimburse me... uh yeah.... so whenever this 'global pay card' arrives, I will have to go to the bank and 'deposit' it into my account. I know how much goes into the joint account so I can just write hubby a check to take in and deposit.
And you will be proud of me.... I didn't get angry and go off on him. He has made a real mess of things with the checking account... grateful I have my own account that I still have access to. And last night we had another 'discussion' about his driving.... I don't want to ride with him anymore..... he makes me nervous.... I'm going to tell him that I don't want to go to the cabin in August for vacation.... I know he won't let me drive. His pride keeps getting in the way. I need to figure out a plan to just stay home and maybe do short trips... I don't know... maybe go stay at a hotel nearby for a couple weekends. After all, the vacation is his, not mine.... I only get a change of scenery. I still have to figure out meals and cook them. Only I have a plan this time; if he insists we go to the cabin... I'm going to buy TV dinners for every meal. We can have those and shakes. After all, I would be on vacation, right? Where we are going only has one restaurant in that area and it's not for breakfast.... just for lunch and dinner.
Am I grumbling this mornings? I'm just so tired with all that is going on. Is tired the word, or drained? One thing for sure, I have spent a lot more time praying about things than I have in a long time.
I Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NKJV): "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Sometimes it is hard to rejoice when the hard times come; it's hard to give thanks. Praying without ceasing? Well, some days I know I do that, even before all the drama. Sometimes I am constantly asking God to help me do something. Sometimes I am just asking Him to hold me. Sometimes I am asking Him to heal me. Sometimes I am asking Him for the strength to endure life. One thing for sure that has been proven..... He is the ONLY one I can run to when I struggle with whatever I'm going through. Yes, I have written much in here, and have probably shared way too much of my life on here; not what I originally wanted to do with this. But perhaps even that is a good thing.
Life is not a bed of roses. You know that. I know that. Even in the life of someone who loves Jesus and has surrendered their life to Him; trials and tribulations come. The enemy is always trying to cause conflict and he does a good job of it. It could just be a word, a stare, a silence... and it can set me or others off. You know it happens to you as well.
Lord, HELP!!
But I have HOPE. I may struggle in my life. I may be broken at times. I may shed many tears over situations. I may spend many hours in prayer. I may not know what to do about life situations. All I can do is pray. And I can have HOPE because I believe in the ONE who gives me HOPE.
I tell you what..... if I didn't have Jesus.... my life would be a lot different.... I may not e.en be here for hard life causes one to do stupid things. But.Jesus. It is HIS hand I cling to in times like this. It is HIM I run to with my tears that fall unbidden. It is HIM who gathers me into His arms and holds me when I am hurting so bad I can't share. No one knows me like Jesus does. He is not only my Lord and Savior, my Hope, He is also my friend.
He's your friend too. He will always be avaialble to listen to you. He will always be there for you, when everyone else walks away. You, too, can have Hope, because of Jesus. Trust Him. Talk to Him. Surrender to Him. He's waiting for you.
Blessings!
