In town, but not here - yet

 I 'saw' that the daughter and SIL made it into town last night - but never called to let me know.  I did a 360 check and saw that they had made it.  People think that my daughter calls me for just about everything. Trust me, I am not on her mind.  I did check with them when they were about 1/2 way here, I think and asked if they thought they would come here for the night - but was told no, they were going to pick up their granddaughter and then to go a hotel.  I get it.  And that's fine.  We still stayed up until about 10PM watching movies.  And even with going to bed late - I was mind-awake at 3AM!  I tossed and turned until about 4AM, then finally got up and came in here.  Sat with the light off for awhile.  Turned it on and read some - and then fell asleep after hubby got up and brought my coffee in.  I slept sound, too.  I wasn't ready to get up or wake up and I am still struggling to be a bit coherent. You know, that foggy, drugged, sleepy head feeling.  I had left the lid on my coffee and surprisingly, it is still pretty warm.  And it's Saturday.  

I have lots to do today - and one of the main ones is get a message started for next Sunday as I speak at the RV park.  March is the last month that I do that.  I actually have 3 this month.  March 8, March 15, and the last Sunday in March.  I can do one twice as one is at the other RV park - but I do need to get at least two this within a short time.  I had one, and had a rough draft, but as I read through it the other day, I just didn't care for it; wasn't feeling it; so now need to find another one.  I will get the phone call from the lay leader either today or tomorrow so need to get a title and a scripture before then. I can put it together next week. Or get busy and work hard on it today!

The daughter should be coming over tonight to sleep here - and then head back to Clovis on Sunday morning.  With us going to the noon church service now, we won't have to rush around to get ready while they are.  We'll be able to visit a bit. And, if they want, maybe we will have time to grab a breakfast at Denny's or something.  Or maybe I'll just pick up donuts at Bosa donuts and let that be it.  But then, they are diabetic so probably should give them donuts, huh!  I'll figure it out.  I do need to go to the grocery some time today and pick up a few things.  Not for them, for us.

I see that we have attacked Iran, along with Israel.  It's scary - who wants WWIII started - who wants their sons/daughters, grandsons/granddaughters sent off to war?  Pray that an agreement will be reached and this horrendous bombing will stop - and that it doesn't come here.

I had my vision tested yesterday.  I guess my vision has changed somewhat - Dr. Smith (yes, his name) was very nice and explains things to me and I really like that.  He even went back 5-6 years and showed me what his vision was then - and what it is now - wow - big change!  And he said it had changed from last year.  He asked me about how often did I wear my glasses.  I told him I wear them for computer, reading, and driving - but other than that - don't wear them.  He got after me (seriously!) and told me I needed to wear my glasses all the time, ESPECIALLY while driving!  I can see distance good since the cataract surgery - but still have to wear glasses because of my drivers license says I do.  Anyway - the change looks significant enough I may be wearing glasses more often.  I did get a new pair of glasses and they will be transition again.  They will be a little bigger than my latest pair as I need more 'reading space' than what I have on these.  I sure hope they work out well.  I haven't worn these that much as I keep having to put my head up so I can read from the bottom (which is why I got the bigger ones rather than narrow) and it annoys me.  Anyway- the new glasses should be here in 2-3 weeks.  They are really quick.  I walked out paying only $140 for a new pair of glasses.  $35 was for a refraction test - which is where they take a photo of the retina - and Dr. Smith always goes over every detail, the veins, the way it looks, etc.  Really interesting.  My VSP insurance - which I pay for the best program - covered quite a bit - they gave me a receipt and the actual bill for everything was over $1100.  I can't even imagine!  AND they gave me my prescription in case I ever wanted to send off and have another pair made somewhere else.  Will see how these work out.  I may as well wear them all the time - I can't even read off my phone without glasses so I'm always looking for a pair of reading glasses and have them about everywhere!

Well, I think this is all I have for today - I keep typing and erasing cause I'm trying to 'change my thoughts' and keep them positive.  Some times it is hard, ya know?  Even for me, and I'm usually a positive person.... but some people.... and I'll leave that there!

Take care of you today - step outside and breathe fresh air - it's going to be hot here!  Already listening to complaints about the heat.  "It's too early to be this hot!" UGH  It's going to be a long summer.  Again.  HAH - I love the heat!  After all, I AM inside all day.  Usually wrapped up in a hoodie cause it is chilly back here.

Do something kind for someone today.  Be real. Be honest. Remember the grace that God has extended to you - and extend it to others. (lesson for myself as well)

Blessings!

Finally!

 I have been stalling on writing in here as I knew hubby would be coming in any time to tell me 'goodbye' as he heads to his Bible study this morning.  He's running about 10-15 minutes later than usual.  He asked me again the other day if I 'still journal' (well, this IS a journal of my life, isn't it?) in my computer.  I said yes.  Then he asked how often I type in my blog.  I just said some.  Nothing I have said about him has been out of line, so if he reads it, he reads it.  He has the 'address' and can go into it at any time. I have never forbidden him.  But I don't want to be 'caught' typing in it for that will ensure he will go into it. If he remembers.  With having the computer on this desk, my back is to the door, therefore he can see what I'm doing when he comes in.  This morning I took the opportunity to pay my Kohls bill and check on a couple of credit cards while waiting on him to come in.  At least any 'bills' I had are now paid off.  All he saw was the store screen.  

I didn't sleep well last night.  I mean I really didn't sleep well.  I woke up at 11:30PM for the trek down the hall, but then tossed and turned for another hour.  Finally at 12:30AM I got up and came in here.  I knew hubby had at least one more trek down the hall during the night so I was having difficulty getting settled in my chair, anticipating him opening the door.  I was just settling in and sure enough, I hear his footsteps.  He opens the door.  Stars at me (I can see him because he has a night light in his bathroom).  "Are you in here?"  I just told him yes I was in here.  "Why?"  Well, I couldn't sleep so came in here so that he could.  He stood there for a few more seconds and I told him to just shut the door and go back to bed so that I could try and get some sleep too.  He did. And I did for a couple hours, I think.  

Yes, I have something on my mind and was working through it during the night.  Nothing bad.  But just thoughts.  A lot of good thoughts, and something I need to discuss with someone later today.  

I actually worked on my bulletin board yesterday and threw away some papers.  Will I get around to doing anything else in here?  Who knows.  I have Needles of Hope in the morning and hubby (yes, he did) made us mani/pedi appointments with the nail shop down the road - and he plans to pay for it.  Works for me.  His toenails are awful and I tried to cut them one time and after one look opted to take him to the nail shop for them to cut them.  YECK.  Now my feet are not the prettiest feet in the world, but, uh, no. Not cutting his toenails.  So we have that tomorrow afternoon.  Maybe after that I can get something done. Or not.  We've been doing more reading (so glad about that!) so may just curl up with a book. 

Had an eye exam yesterday and I really liked this doctor who did my exam.  I did the $35 scan they offer (have always refused it in the past) on a whim, and I'm glad I did.  This doctor brought up the photos and pointed out the nerves, and the stigmas I have in each eye - and he noticed I have a scar on the edge toward the ear on each eye.  Weird.   But he told me my eye nerves were healthy and no sign of diabetes (did you know they can tell some diseases by looking at your eye?  Ms. Bonnie from our other neighborhood was diagnosed with MS by her eye doctor!).  He also commented that my left eye worked harder than my right eye to see.  No explanation for the ocular migraines.  I keep asking.  But he wrote two prescriptions for glasses for whichever I wanted. I like him because he explained everything in the test in terms that I understood.  I think I'm getting the progressive for reading and computer.  When those come in, I'll ask what the other prescription was for.  I may ask for that prescription and check around for prices.  My insurance is good.  Remember last year they told me to never quit work, the VSP insurance I have for hubby and I (I took the top line) gives us one frame a year, and some of the other stuff too.  I ended up paying $35 for the test; $10 copay, and $95 for my cost of the new glasses.  Total $140.  Not bad, huh!  They will be here in about two weeks and I'm excited to get them. They are much lighter I think, than my last pair.  And I have numerous reading glasses laying around cause I don't wear my glasses all the time and have to find a pair to read anything with.  A couple of the frames (plastic) have broken and I need to throw those away.  Or glue back together.  

Did I tell you my new phone case finally arrived and I've had to 'downsize' all that I carried in my other one?  Yeah - I don't need to carry all that I was, but you know once you use something you just stick it in the folder and move on.  And my old phone case was getting pretty full.  Hubby likes his new blue cover; hopefully he will find it easier to find when he loses his phone.

My little sister and I are going to do a bible study together.  I saw this ad for one for Easter and we both ordered the books.  I decided that I wasn't going to try and watch the streaming video because with work and other issues, I often miss things due to time differences.  So I ordered the video to go along with the 4 week bible study and can do it on my own time.  I also ordered one for my sister and will send it on to her when I get it.  I also bought 'myself' a new DVD portable player.  It's larger than the one I had purchased about 5 years ago.  We only used it a couple times but the last time I used it, it stopped in the middle of the movie and wouldn't play anymore.  I was not a happy camper.  It was a cheap plastic one anyway.  The new one is as big, if not bigger, than this laptop.  Which is bigger than I like, but serves it purpose.  It's heavy too.  But at least the screen is big enough that we can see the movie and not a 8 inch screen like before.  I can remember when they had a player built within the computer and we could use those - but no more.  I actually miss those days of convenience.

Oh my - starting late this morning and time has gotten away from me!  Have already turned my work computer on and got caught by an email that had to be responded to right away.  Got to order some printing stuff for one of the directors in Colorado today too.  It's been 5 years since I've ordered any printing - think it has changed any?  And why does she have to ask me to do it!  I don't wanna!!  UGH but I have to do it.  Suck it up buttercup!

Alas, I don't have time to ramble so much in here; it's 7:04AM and I need to get to work.  My time is never my own, right?  Oh well - enjoy my little rambling stuff today - maybe I'll be more with it tomorrow when I have more than 4 hours of sleep.

Blessings!

My irritation and frustration came out....

 and I really hate that it did, but, this person just would not do what I asked and it frustrated me.  I get an email one of her monitors won't work.  Ok,... contact the service desk and see if they know something to try and get it to come on.  She actually refused to do so, and commented I had picked up the monitors from the person last Friday and I needed to get one of those to her.  (now, what if I had them put it in storage - then what?)  She will be in Mesa at a meeting on Thursday, and I could bring it to her then.  I told her no, I was not driving to Mesa on Thursday.  Again I asked her to contact the service desk; no.  Long story short, I looked up where she lived and selected a location between us (think 10 miles versus 46 one way to Mesa for me) and told her I'd meet her there today at 11AM with the monitor.  I will email her this morning that she can take the 'bad' monitor to Mesa with her Thursday to give to IT; I'm not going to take care of the problem.  She could have it exchanged on Thursday with IT without dragging me in to it - but they always want someone to do the work for them.  And I was just too busy yesterday to deal with her.  I lost my patience with her and was very irritated.  It could have easily been resolved if she had just contacted IT and made arrangements with them to pick up a new monitor on Thursday.  UGH.  I don't like it when I let my frustration and irritation get control of me.

My day ended well in that it was 'girls night out' and I headed to my daughter's - and was taken out to dinner with my granddaughter and great-granddaughter (and her spouse and my SIL) to a Mexican restaurant in Glendale that the food is absolutely delicious and you get so much of it!  We all had a box to take food home in.  It was a fun time and they even brought me ice cream covered in chocolate with a candle and sung happy birthday.  Fun time.

And I had a gift delivered from a coworker when I got home - a nice cup and a really cool set of measuring spoons.  Yeah - today is MY day and it will be just as hectic as yesterday was.  I hope I don't get as overwhelmed as I was yesterday.  I have an 8AM meeting with my boss for my mid-year review.  She always marks me 'exceeds expectations'.... and I tell her, I work from home; how can I 'exceed expectations'.... but she explains why she feels it is that way - and it always makes me feel like I am accomplishing some things, even when I feel it is daily routine things.

Hubby brought me in my coffee along with a nice card and gift card; telling me that it is for me only, I am not to spend it on anyone else, etc. .... well, we ARE going on vacation so I guess I can spend it then? :-)  Or I can just order some books.... that's for me, right? :-)  He also went out and got yesterday's mail and I had a nice surprise - a birthday note from a 2nd cousin in Indiana.  We've never met, but have chatted online frequently.  She's the one that came out here but I had my eye surgery and couldn't meet.

Today I have so much to do - and having to lose some time to meet this person throws chaos in the middle of the day.  But, I will 'suck it up buttercup' and get it done.  In fact, if I find I have a lull before then, I'll send her an email and ask if we can meet before.  I have to get ready for the 1PM board meeting and that alonge is stressful.  Have I ever mentioned how I dislike taking minutes?  

John 16:33 (NKJV):  "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you will have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

Boy Howdy do I need that reminder!  I should never have allowed my frustration and irritation at this person come out yesterday - I should have stopped; perhaps got up and walked around, and prayed about it before responding.  But I didn't.  That's how we get caught up in the world.... and then feel guilty because we allowed the world in us to come out instead of letting the Spirit within us take over the situation. I wasn't THAT bad in what I said.... I was professional... but at one point I did actually say "work with me here!!" in the middle of my frustration.  I am not at her beck and call.  UGH. there I go again.

Sometimes it is so easy to let go of our peace that we have and allow the world to slip in.  We all do it, I'm afraid, no matter how much you think you keep your emotions under control.  We get the 'stinking thinking' going and then it's like the devil has a party in it.  Well, I got news for him today - I'm done with him!  That ole dirt monger ain't gonna ruin my day today!  I rebuke him in the Holy name of my Jesus and my Abba!  That ole devil ain't got no hold on me!

I am kept in perfect peace because I belong to Him... Jesus, the Son of the Living God.  He is my refuge in the storm; my peace when turmoil happens.  All I gotta do is surrender that issue to Him.

OH - I got to tell you.... God is so good and He loves to answer our requests - even when the timeframe doesn't fit.  I went in last week to the eyeglass place and gave them my prescription for new glasses.  They told me it would be 4 weeks before I'd get my glasses.  And in the past, it has always been 3-4 weeks.  BUT God.  I commented to Him on Monday this week that it would be nice if I could get my new glasses before I went on vacation this Friday.  Fully expecting it NOT to happen.  Well, guess what!  I got a text YESTERDAY that my glasses were in and I went and picked them up.  In a week or less I had my new glasses!! I really love that my sunglasses are magnetic clip-ons - which means they are not prescription and I can wear my new prescription glasses all the time (oh joy) and when I go outside, just put the magnetic frame up against my glasses and snap! they are on!  Really cool.

God surprised me and gave me an early birthday present - my new sunglasses - in time for vacation. How cool is that!

Even though it's my birthday, as you can read, it will be a busy day.  I do have so much to get done today and tomorrow before I get to go on vacation.  Plus... I will have to take my work computer with me for a couple things - I get invoices I have to process for contracted employees... if I don't process the invoices timely, they won't get paid their normal time.  So - I like to get paid on time and I feel I need to process their invoices on time as well.  It will help me keep up on all the emails too.  I just won't work-work. 

And... I am going to get off here and just spend time with my Jesus for awhile.  I actually have a bit more time than I usually do, which is nice.  An extra 'gift' perhaps from my Abba today.  Maybe I'll hear His voice ....  just to sit and be still in His Presence, can make a lot of things fall in to place. :-) Try it.

Blessings!

I think God is listening...or knew this moment in time...

 Ive been sharing a lot (or a bit) lately on walls, tearing them down.  About prayer and fasting.  I often am then surprised when I read something that ties in completely with what I have been thinking about.  I shared recently that I want to do a Bible study on 'Forgiving what you can't forget'.  I may have even mentioned walls that I would like to break down as I shared that.  Then I bought the book about the Jericho Fast, curious about what it was about.  But today.  I'm reading in my devotional .... and 'listen' to what it says.....

"I've come to knock down walls.  The walls you have built around yourself shall crumble before me.  The seemingly impossible situations that have wounded you and cuased you to barricade yourself in are nothing but paper to me. I can easily flick them away, if you'll invite me. With me, you don't have to fear being exposed or vulnerable.  You don't have to fear being ashamed or embarrassed.

Though you've hidden behind this protective barrier, I desire to draw you out, to make you comfortable in your own skin. I want to teach you how to trust, how to love. I will knock down every wall and set you free.  You don't have to hold it all together.  You don't have to appear to be something you're not. And you don't need to protect yourself. Let me protect you. Let me heal you with the holy oil of my presence. I want you to walk in awareness of my presence, but I also want you to be aware of your own heart. Give yourself time to get to know yourself and to find the greatness of me inside of you. I want you to know the truth that extinguishes fear, to let my glory be your only enclosure."

See how much God knows me and knows my heart?  This devotion really spoke to me this morning about the walls of protection I have built up to keep from being hurt again.  See how much God loves me (and you) - so much that He will have these words in print years before I would ever read them.  What do these words speak to you?  To me, they confirm the path, the journey, I am putting myself on.  I want to break down the walls.  Do you?

I received a birthday card from my oldest son yesterday that made me cry.  Well, not 'cry', but choke up as I read it aloud to hubby.  I hope my children always know that I pray for them and want only God's best for them.  But this card, this card, touched way down in the deep part of my heart.  It will also go in my 'Treasure Box' of things I hold on to.  What did it say?

"When you've got a great mom, you know - Her prayers are for you, Her thoughts are with you. Her heart shares your struggles and joys. And no matter what, her love stays with you wherever you go.  (inside) I know what it's like to have a great mom, because I have the best.  Love you, Mom."

Several of the words are in different fonts on the card so that they would stand out, but I wanted you to see what the words are.  Sometimes I have wondered if they even care that I pray for them, that I want to pray them through their struggles and walk the journey of life with them.  Then I get a card like this and I know that my prayers do matter.  That I matter.  And I am filled with joy, and with awe, that my God has answered prayers time and time again, and my children know it is by His hand the answers come.  This card is one of my treasures, and my encouragement to never stop, never give up.  

What about you?  Where are you at today with your walls?   Where are you at today with your prayers and your journey of life?  Are you praying for your children, your grandchildren?  Are you asking that a shield of protection be built up around them, that they will be filled with wisdom and strength for their journey in life?  Do they know that you ask God to watch over them?

Today is Friday and I'm actually glad.  I thought this would be a light week with my one boss being gone for two days .... but I have been busy every day this week with something.  I did take off a couple hours yesterday and had an eye doctor appointment.  This place is really good.  Hubby went there last week and got new glasses and really praised the place.  I called on Wednesday to schedule an appointment  - they had a cancellation for Thursday so I took it.  I've ordered new glasses ... and I decided to go ahead and order new sunglasses too.  The sunglasses I have are over ten years old and the prescription just isn't strong enough anymore to where I can't even wear them.  Yeah, my eyes have gotten older along with the body.  It was nice for someone to help me choose which frame would be best for me.  She took one look at my current frames (which I really dislike) and said 'those are too big for your face'.  I have to rely on others to tell me if they fit my face..... I can't make that decision!  So after trying on about 20 pairs of frames, I made the decision (with help) on which one I like.  She's ordering in a smaller (lens size) frame and when it comes in I am to come back and check it out, and if it will work for me, they will use it for my glasses.  If not, we'll stick with the one she has.  My sunglasses I wasn't so concerned with as I wear them outside and the frames, altho not exactly what I wanted, will do.  I wanted to use the frames I currently have - but again, they are over ten years old, shaky and scratched.  It's time I let them go.  She didn't have anything that even came close.  Happy I have the premium insurance for vision - it would have cost me a lot more.... or I would have chosen a lot less so that I wouldn't spend as much.

Don't have much planned for the weekend other than church tomorrow night.  Working on another Christmas gift but don't think I'll get it done this weekend.  Baby blankets are smaller and so much easier to do.  Movies will probably be on the agenda.  

Have a great day.... choose wisely what you will do with your life.  Tear down the walls and build the relationships.

Blessings!