Just a little sleep...

 I could have easily stayed in bed longer this morning, but I had already stayed an hour longer than usual - but I had a reason for it.  Our church is involved in the 'We Pray All Day' initiative (??) or whatever it is called, to pray over Arizona, and various things; i.e., schools, government, etc.  I should have signed up the other day once I heard that June 1st was our church's day to pray.  But, alas, I did not, and the only time open that would work for me was 1-2AM (last month it was 2-3AM).  As soon as I hear I need to jump online and get signed up!  So at 12:50AM I got up this morning to spend my hour in prayer for this city, for my family, etc.  And I really do pray the entire hour!  I went back to bed, hoping I could go back to sleep.  I did go back to sleep, awaking at 3:30AM and telling myself I could sleep at least another half hour - and ended up sleeping until 5AM.  I only woke up then because hubby shut his bathroom door loud enough that it woke me.  I'm sure that was an accident (rolling eyes).  He does like to be keep to schedules and as I got up and made my way in to here, I saw his light was already on, which meant he was up earlier than me to begin his DQT.  And because I wasn't up yet, he was distracted as he has to make my coffee (as if I don't know how) every morning.  He likes to use the Biblical book of He-brews as an example.  Whatever.  I've managed to stay awake and do my quiet time, so I'm good. :-)

I hear the landscapers out already because it's light earlier in the mornings.  That means they will be done earlier and it will be quiet sooner.  I love the quiet of the early morning.  This morning is not one of those as the grass sounds like it is being mowed.  

Work should be very light today as one boss is on PTO, the other is in an all day summit, and the other two don't give me work that often.  When they do, it is time-consuming, but I'm being quiet so hopefully they will be too.  Maybe I can sneak a nap in.

My new lamp came in yesterday for my desk.  The other metal lamp I was using gave off such intense heat it was uncomfortable.  Made my books hot too.  This one is LED and is bright enough, and I can dim it if I need to.  It isn't as heavy nor as awkward (and hot) as the other one was.  Ironically, it is identical to the one a grandson gave me a few years ago - but I didn't have need of it and ended up either giving it to someone.  See, I didn't hoard it in case I might need it sometime.  LOL  Yeah, I tend to do things like that - just like some of you do!  I'm hoping to get out in the garage some time and start going through cabinets again to 'let go' of some things.  Little by little, as I hear people have a need for something and it's not anything I'm using, I'm able to let it go and give to them.  Last week I let go of three items!  Little by little.  I love to give and if I'm not using it, and haven't for some time, I would say that I don't need it.  I know I have several things out in the garage that I don't use anymore.  At my age I'm trying to think ahead and get rid of things that my kids won't have to deal with later.  I just have to be careful... I think I have mentioned it before... hubby doesn't let me 'let go' of my things quite so easy at times.  

Looks like my office got the bank accounts straightened out.  If you recall, last pay period they ended up mailing me a check, which I got about 5 days later.  But, my check hit the bank today so should be back on track.  YAY.  Hubby had to inform me the other day that I get 3 paydays this month.... (so does he as he gets a portion of my payroll checks), but he didn't mention that.  It really isn't 'extra'... it's just paydays fall on every two weeks and it just happens that way this month.  

They say 4 day weeks are the longest, and I believe them.  It's a fairly quiet week with the bosses pretty busy and also one being on vacation.  I'm all caught up on meetings, unless one of the 19 messages I have in my inbox for work are requests for meetings.  I haven't really looked at them.  It's work, and it's not time yet.  But, looking at the clock - very soon now.

My mind is drawing a blank as to a scripture to elaborate on this morning.  Must be because I am still tired from interrupting my sleep to pray in the middle of the night.  I'll fix a protein shake this morning for breakfast and that will get me at least a bit more awake and somewhat alert.  Need to figure out what to fix for dinner tonight.  I did cook a nice meal last night for dinner.... maybe pizza out of the freezer tonight.  I'm tryng to keep from going out - but it is payday and hubby may suggest it.  He does love to eat out.  It just isn't cheap to eat out anymore.  Friends of ours always share a meal, which helps... but we usually don't share; and I'm the only one who brings home leftovers, if that tells you anything.

I'm rambling and need to jump in the shower this mornning and I'm down to about 15 minutes before work time so will close this off.  I'll try to be more alert in the morning.  

Blessings!

Things seem to be moving quickly...

As I have mentioned before, my daughter will be flying back 'home' with me to help however we can.  We both have been watching the airline rates and they have been quite pricey.  Yesterday, my little sister and sister in law started the process of working on the apartment and knew they needed help if it was going to get completed timely.  One of the things they have found is several tubes of 70 UV Sunscreen.  Now mind you, my sister didn't live anywhere near a pool.  She never went to a pool.  WHY would she have several tubes of 70 UV sunscreen?   My little sister told me that our nephew's pets have been taken by a neighbor; they asked to have them.  Once he finds out they are 'gone', it may be the end of him.  I'm not sure how he can take the loss of not only his mother, but pets he has had for 20 years.  At least they were not taken to a place to be put to sleep, for that he can be grateful. 

 I told my daughter to discuss our visit with her uncle first, because if he can't get my sister's body so that we can handle the burial, I needed to wait to go.  Next thing I knew, I was getting notification of my airline schedule being made.  We leave Thursday morning at 12:45AM - yes, AM.  I'm used to staying on one airline, but to save money (and it will be half of what I was going to pay by staying on one airline), we will be switching planes, with layovers.  It will be a very long night as we don't arrive until nearly 10AM the next morning... but that is nearly 7AM our time.  And I'm very cautious about falling asleep on a plane (or anywhere for that matter), because everyone tells me I snore really loud.  Embarrassingly loud.  So I try not to sleep.  This should be interesting.  So we leave early Thursday morning, and our return flight isn't until Wednesday evening, and I will be getting home around midnight, I think.  I should go ahead and take the next two days off work, but I know I will have so much to catch up on.

I need to talk with my brother today and find out what is going on.  My little sister suggested I conduct the gravesite service (rather than having a funeral at another location).  I'm willing to do that, and must find time to bring it all together.  I remember leading my older brother's funeral service.  That was so hard to do.  Now here I am, needing to do also my older sister's service.  It is humbling to be allowed to do it, but it is painful in that it is also my loss.  But as a beloved mentor once told me, in a service such as this, no matter how close you are to the person, it's never's about you.  It is always about them.  By keeping that perspective, I am confident I can pull something together.  My prayer is that we can pull forth some good memories of things to share. 

Hubby is taking all this in an interesting way.  Usually he is pushy about going with me, but this time he didn't even mention it.  When the reservations were made and I mentioned to him the schedule, he asked that besides calling him before I settle in for the evening while there, would I also please check in with him a couple times during the day time.  Why?  Because he is fearful he will fall or die alone.  That may sound strange, but that has always been his fear - dying alone like his dad did.  Of course his dad lived alone, and died immedately of a massive heart attack.  But, he was not discovered for three days.  I understand that fear.  So yes, I will touch base with him throughout the day.  His fear is real and I am hoping others will touch base with him to make sure he is doing ok while I'm away.  He can go out with his friends for a meal so that will be helpful.  Food isn't going to be an issue; we have plenty ready to pop in the microwave.  

I will be letting my bosses know today of the schedule - and that I will be missing the board meeting next week I need to take minutes at.  I really didn't want to take minutes, but would have because it is my job.  But, if I'm not here, he will have to do it.  Not sure how that will go over.  He will probably be ok with it since it is the first board meeting.  I told him that board meeting was making me think of retirement...that is how badly I didn't want to do it.  

Psalm 34:18 comes to mind this morning: "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves those with a crushed spirit."

I think I'm dealing pretty well with my sister's death.  Whether I think she was ready or not is no longer a concern.  She had been asked numerous times by our younger sister if she was ready to die, and she always said she was 'ready to go'.  We can only pray and hope that she truly was.  So with that question 'out there', I would ask myself, and you, that very same question.

"If you (or I) would be struck down, or died (even naturally) today, would we be assured of where we would be going?  Would it be judged of us that we are worthy of everlasting life with Jesus?  Or would we be sent to hell, where there is constant fire and burning of flesh and thirst beyond any we could imagine, forever and ever.  

Last night at our Bible study, to which we went early, our leader agreed it could have been his choice of words that shocked me the week before.  'Population control' could throw anyone for a loop.  Makes one think of abortion today, right?  Inconvenience of having a child.  Anyway, last night he confused me/us again!  He mentioned two judgement seats - the white throne being God's throne of judgement, and a BLUE throne (or another throne around which has a blue light reflection around it) on which Jesus will have as His judgement seat.  i'm going 'WHAT?'   I did bring it up when the others arrived and no one else had heard of it either.  Home work!  

Hubby is going to ask his friends tonight at their Bible study.  One had studied to be a priest and then didn't finish.  The other had studied his Bible for years.  One in our monday group is a missionary so we are hoping he can clarify.  Our leader said he would also look up where he had read it.  I understand that he had gone to a Baptist University, majoring in business but minoring in religion.  I told him I wanted to know WHERE he was coming up with this 'stuff' cause in all my years of reading the Bible, I have never come across the things he was sharing.  Perhaps I am in this study so that I will question, and I will learn.  If the statements are true, then yes, I am learning.  We don't have many things to reference in, but I am searching those that we have.  Perhaps I will remember to share on here what I find out.  Are you curious at all?

The Bible DOES say that Jesus will sit at the right hand of God, the Father, but I sure don't recall a blue throne, let alone a white throne for God.  Perhaps I do need to do a more detailed study.  That could be interesting.

So much for me to get done today and tomorrow.  It seems unreal that travel is happening so fast.  I usually pick daytime flights so my entire sleep/wake cycle is going to be all screwed up for awhile, I think.  I appreciate the prayers that I can 'survive' this trip and the family dynamics that will be happening.  My brother is kind of slow in getting things done, a bigger procrastinator than I am, I'm afraid.  We are on a timeline so must push things through and get them done; hence my daughter in the picture.  As my little sister said yesterday, she would pick up an item and ask the sister-in-law "what about this?  Should we throw away or keep?" and vice versa.  Which made very little progress accomplished yesterday in clearing out things.  They are hoping between my daughter and I that decisions can be made quickly (do they really know ME?) and we can get the apartment emptied.  I'm not concerned so much about cleaning it as the complex will have to replace all the carpeting and painting - afterall, my sister has lived there for many, many years.  We just need to get everything out.  Lord, help us!  It will be difficult at times, but I know her kids don't want anything.  Her daughter won't even come back "unless I have something of value to get".  The son is still in the psych ward of the hospital.  Lord help us to know what to do.

Makes me think I need to continue going through my own things and getting rid of them... not fair to make my children do it.  I'm a 'collector of things' - is that a good way to put it?  LOL  My biggest 'hold on to' are my books.  But we all know they can be donated.  It's the 'other' little things I have.  Oh well, whatever can motivate me to do it is good. :-)  What are you holding on to?

Need to get my work computer up this morning and let my bosses know my upcoming schedule.  And I need to think about what I need to take with me.  UGH.  I'll meet with my duaghter tonight to discuss 'strategy' on getting to the airport, getting things done while there, and returning home next week.  It certainly won't be a pleasure trip, but a productive one.

Blessings!