As I have shared in here, this 90 day Bible study I've been doing has been helpful in my letting go of some thing - some things that I need to do yet (like purge my closet and drawers - hey, I DID go through the drawers in here and filled up a box for Savers!), changing the way I do some things.... and today's lesson was another tool to learn. This week has been about financial wellness. I think we are in the best place we have ever been financially - not that we have a lot, for sure - but that we are not living from paycheck to paycheck as we have in the past. Times when I wasn't sure what I could fix for dinner - I've mentioned before as well how I have learned how to 'cook from scratch' because we didn't have some things. And that's ok. That is how I learned how to cook - and love to cook.
One of the things the book talked about was looking at the things we buy.... do we really NEED them... or is it only because we WANT them? Yeah, I'm good at thinking I 'have to have' something. But, honestly, I have gotten much better. That's because when we moved here, I had to let go of so many things - and you will never understand how much it hurt to let go of things I have held on to for years because of what they reminded me of.... but you know what? There are just THINGS. And I still have a lot of THINGS that I wish I WOULD let go of. All they are doing is taking up space.
Don't you even go thinking I'll get rid of my books! At least for now. I have donated boxes upon boxes of my books over the years.... most I don't even remember the title of.... and some that I let go of and wish I didn't because I wanted to re-read it - well, I find I can go to www.thriftbooks.com and get what I want for sometimes $3-4 - depending on what it is. So if I see a book I want to read, I check Amazon first to get the going price, then I check thrift books - and if the price is much cheaper, and I really do want to read it - I order it, many times saving $10-15. (Is that rationalization for buying the book?) And if I don't save that much, I check out the Kindle price. :-) I do love my books, and I wish I had more time to read... and I am just going to have to 'make the time'.
I got to share a story yesterday with my boss and friend over lunch....THEY were talking about purging their closets and giving suits and really good clothes to specific charities (i.e., 'Dress for Success', and homes that house abused women and men, others that help them get on their feet).. and with not going into the office, they had realized they don't need all the suits they had; they could get buy with one or two. Shoes they are working on. LOL I got rid of about 20 pair of shoes when we moved, but I'm sure I could 'lose' a few more.
Anyway, I think I have shared this story in here before, but I will share it again. It always brings a laugh when I share it with others. Maybe it will bring a smile to your face. I had this one glass platter that my mother had given me. I rarely used it, because I really didn't need it. BUT, my mother had given it to me so I felt like I had to keep it - after all, one of my children might want it because my mother had given it to me.... my little sister set me straight one day when I was sharing I didn't really have a place to put this precious platter that my mother had given me. She responded, "Mother didn't buy it FOR you, she bought it at a yard sale! When you mentioned it was pretty, Mother told you to take it. She didn't specifically choose it for you..." Well, that changed everything, and I was able to let it go.
And I do that with things my children and hubby have given me as well. I used to put away the nice things I received and not use them, cause after all, I don't deserve to have nice things, and I could get by with what I have. And one day I realized that these nice things were given to me because I was loved, and my children and hubby wanted me to have them. They were for MY use... not to be passed on after I'm gone. So I now use those things others have given me that I enjoy. I take the time to use that lotion; I wear that jewelry; I wear those socks for everyday. They were given to me for my enjoyment - and I do enjoy wearing them. For a long time I would pack away in my cedar chest t-shirts that my military son sent me when he was serving overseas - why? I don't know. So I wear them now. Yes, they remind me of him, but why would I want to save them instead of wearing them?
All I can think of is that when I was growing up, I had very little. My clothes were generally bought from Goodwill. Until I started working at W.T. Grant at age 15 1/2, I had two dresses to my name. I had no clue that it made any difference, it was just the way I was raised. I wore one dress Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and then switched to the other dress Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. They were washed on Saturday, then on Sunday I would wear the 2nd dress the beginning of the following week, and switch off to the other on Wednesday. I never thought I didn't have anything; it was the way we lived. It was what I had. I wore pedal pushers - which are now called capris - and the funny thing is, I don't even like them now. I never owned a pair of jeans until I was married. I was barefoot when I wasn't at school or church so shoes - well, if we had two pair, we were 'rich'. Once I started working, my mother took my check and would buy me a 'suit' and by my Junior/Senior year of high school, I was able to dress in a different outfit every day. She occasionally gave me a portion of my check, which I usually spent on my little brother, Buddy. I remember the Green Beret uniform I bought him, and had his picture taken in it.
Ah... my thoughts are wandering this morning, aren't they? Today's study was more on the financial part - saving instead of spending, adding $50/month to the mortgage principal will pay off your house as much as 7 years earlier and save a lot of money. I would love to do that - but hubby won't let me have the bills - that's his control. He once said that if I took it away from him, he may as well die as that is all he has. Sad, isn't it. But as long as the bills get paid, albeit not when I would pay them, which is when I get paid and not when it is the due date.... I'll let him pay the bills. I will always regret throwing the checkbook at him to figure out how to pay the bills when he refused to find a job. Another story... needs to be let go of.
Anyway... my thoughts are not focusing on what I thought I'd share today so I am going to hush and go dry my hair - yep, it's 'pill day' so took my shower at 4AM after taking it.
So perhaps after reading this you think of things you are holding on to because 'someone dear to me gave it to me'... but if you aren't using it, why hang on to it? It's the memory you hold within that counts. The material things I have (and still do) hold on to, will not have the meaning to my children that it has to me. Some things I hang on to just because they are nice and some day I may need it. Or there is some memory attached to it. The more I can get rid of now... the less my children have to deal with when I'm gone. I'm sure they would appreciate not having to go through things they cannot understand why I hung on to them. Why put that burden on them.... someone can use what I have and if I'm not using it, they can.
I've even taken to using my real china frequently. I love my 'everyday' dishes - but sometimes it is nice just to use something different. They are treasured, as they were hubby's parents' china set - but many pieces have broken and I found they were quite expensive to replace, so quit doing that. And I've decided that if they break, it's ok. It's a material thing. One of my Christmas glasses got broken over this holiday. My first thought was 'I need to buy another set of four so that I can have a complete set'. For one broken glass. And then my second thought was 'you have 11 glasses; the most you use at one time is 10. You do not need to buy any more glasses; once they are gone, they are gone.'. And you know what, I'm ok with that second thought. It's a material thing; I enjoy using them, but I don't NEED them.
So I think I'm going to set a goal of 'letting go' of things in 2022. And not buying so much. Saving money. Giving to those in need more.
What about you?
Blessings!
