I received a text yesterday from a friend for whose husband I have been praying for... our prayers have been answered and the spot on his pancreas is not cancer. He still has to have the surgery to remove the spot, but praise God, it isn't cancerous. Doing the happy dance. Hallelujah!
As I praised God for that report, I thought about some prayers I have been praying; some for a long time, some just a short time. Still waiting on answers to those. But answers don't come in my timetable; they come in His. I can pray and cry out and think about these requests all I want.... but it is God who answers every request. Sometimes the answer is no, and it breaks my heart. Sometimes the asnwers come back yes, and we celebrate, as in the first paragraph. Sometimes we stay in limbo, waiting. That is the hardest part. The waiting. The enemy wants us to have doubts; things don't go the way we planned. We want our answers and we want them NOW. But God doesn't operate on our time table; and His timetable is better than ours. The waiting is so hard, though. So very hard.
We must not give up praying. We must not let up and let go of our faith that God can do anything, but it is in His time. When we wait upon Him and trust in Him for whatever the answer may be... we find our peace in Him.
I admit, I struggle a lot - not in believing God and that He is in control - but that I begin to wonder at times if He hears me. And yet, I know He hears me. The enemy wants me to question myself and ask 'why would God answer my request.... I'm not good enough... I'm not living right.... I'm not praying hard enough... I'm not asking the right questions"... and so on. The enemy is good at that.. and I'm not always strong enough to tell him to go away and leave me alone.
Well, that was interesting. I paused.... and my entire screen disappeared. Think the devil doesn't want me praising God this morning? Doesn't want me to share faith in Him? Probably.
I still have several things that I pray about. I start to keep a list and then I forget about the lists. I let God call them to mind for what I need to pray about. It's always good to keep a list of what specifically I am praying for - cause when He gives me the answer, I can record what God did. But... I neglect my list ... and sometimes years later I find a list and start scanning it and see the things that God did annswer... and how sometimes, just sometimes, He did not answer the way I wanted Him to... and I can see that His way was better. It always is.
I have decided to talk with our pastor about teaching a class perhaps in the fall. We can start a small group here in our home - and surprisingly, hubby brought it up the other day. Of course he tells me he wants 3 couples (with us making 8, which is a nice small group). And he wants to do the inviting. Well, I don't really care... but.... I wonder if that is the way to do it. We decided it would have to be on a Monday night. Anyway... hubby and I need to have a more thorough discussion other than "I think we need to have a small group, 3 couples, and I choose who to invite, and you can lead the study." I'm ok with teaching; you know I love to teach the Word. I am leaning towards the workbooks I have done before; Experiencing God, Seeking Him, The Disciples' Prayer Life' ... and I ordered a new one called the 'Masterlife' which has 4 sections. Similar to a discipleship class I did before, which I would really want to do, but I don't really care for the books they have now. From a regular notebook they have reduced it to a size that I will definitely need glasses to use. The layout isn't the same and well, I'm not sure they will go for it. But I can also share that book when I talk with the pastors. Teaching a class helps me to dive deeper into the Word and helps me to seek answers that may be asked. It probably helps me because I spend more time in prayer and preparation than I do right now with just reading on my own. If we can have the class at the church (currently, they have no classes at church), I would love to open up the class to everyone. Discipleship is a class we all need, not just a selected few. I'm not sure if I even need to discuss with the pastors; we can have a small group in our home and do whatever we want to do. Maybe I can start with that.... another thing to be praying about and processing. If I must choose, my first choice would be the Discipleship class that is one year long. The second would be a tougher choice of those I mentioned above. Each workbook is so informative of who God is and how to live for Him. I'm ready to go through the books on my own again, because I know I need to be reminded (sometimes) of His faithfulness and love for me.
My heart would be full of joy if my children would chase after God. How I pray for them to find Him and put Him first in their lives! Their lives would never be the same.
We had dinner with friends last night we hadn't seen since I think January. It was good to catch up. Of course she and I ended our evening talking about food and dieting. Sigh. A never-ending battle for some of us. She is thinking of a gastric bypass. I've seen it work on some people, and on others that it doesn't 'stick' because they like food too much. I'm grateful I'm not that overweight... but.... ok... enough on THAT subject. I have lunch scheduled today with another coworker/friend and need to doublecheck this morning to see if it is still 'on'. Part of me wants to go; the other part doesn't want to clean up that much. It's grubby Friday, right? Hah - heard hubby in the shower a bit ago... he is starting to meet with the Friday morning Bible study group again... 4 men from our 'old' church. They have moved to a restaurant closer to us. Breakfast and Bible Study. Maybe some day I will have that opportunity to do something like that. Only I'd rather do it here at home. Yeah... that's something I can think about! Sigh. Sometime.
Do you believe that God will speak to you? That He will answer your prayers? Remember the story of the child Samuel (read I Samuel)? His mother, Hannah, prayed for a child, God gave her one, and she dedicated him to the Lord for all his life. Around the age of 3, she took him to live with the priest Eli, and be raised in the house of the Lord.
I Samuel 3:10 (NKJV): "Now the Lord came and stood and called as at other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" And Samuel answered, "Speak, Lord, for Your servant hears."
If you want to hear from God, first of all, do not doubt that you will hear from Him. In the book of James it says that those who doubt shouldn't think they will receive anything from the Lord. (James 1:6-7).
The boy Samuel had the kind of simple trust that the Lord wants us to have. Samuel heard someone call his name three times, and each time he was sure it was Eli. The priest himself had not been hearing from God so he was slow to understand it was the Lord calling for Samuel. When Eli told Samuel to go back and lie down and when he hears the Lord's voice again, to say "Speak, Lord, for Your servant hears (or is listening)." Notice that Samuel's reaction wasn't 'you got to be kidding me!" He had complete confidence that what Eli told him was the truth, and he did what the priest had told him to do. As a result of complete trust, Smuel heard God's voice.
And we can too. Are you wanting to hear God's voice? Pray this prayer with me...
"Lord, I confess that I often do not fully trust You. Show me those areas where I step out of the realm of faith and do it my way and do not obey what I know You want me to do. Help me to do exactly what You want me to do. Forgive me for the times I don't pray about everything becuase I'm not sure you will answer the way I want you to. I don't have the faith you will really answer sometimes and I ask that You remove any doubt I have that You will not only answer, but that You will speak to me. I want to hear from You, just like Samuel did."
What are you asking God for? If you aren't sure He will answer... ask for more faith to believe He will.
Blessings!
