I read my son's blog before I start to write in here, and I remembered a fun dream I used to have. He and his wife have scheduled a hot air balloon ride to celebrate their 32nd wedding anniversary. And I think that is awesome. It's been a few years, but the youngest son and his wife also took a balloon ride; a breakfast one, if I recall. I hope breakfast was afterwards, but don't remember. Anyway, I think it is something special to take a thought and make it a reality. It's something they would not normally do. It's not something of no value; they are going to do this together and make a special memory and I think that is so cool. We all need to do more things to make special memories. Sometimes memories are all we have left.
Yesterday was my first husband's 75th birthday, and yes, I remembered. I remembered good times and bad times. I remembered he was my soul-mate. I remember .... and some make me smile and yearn for those days. I write him letters sometimes, that never get mailed. There are some things that can never be changed. Words said that can never be unsaid. Actions taken that can never be untaken. But memories can last a lifetime. A life cut too short.
Yesterday was also our Sheeba's 4th birthday. I miss her so much. Hubby and I will sometimes talk about her. She was definitely too much dog for us. I sent a note to a friend of the new owner and reminded him it was her birthday. Sometimes when I get my hair done, he will have a photo of her to show me. We were told that we could visit anytime, but we never will. I don't want to confuse her. And it's been two years about since she's been gone. Would she even remember me? So many reasons we had to let her go, but the main one was me. Maybe it's guilt that I feel as well. I loved her so much. She made me laugh. But after being literally dragged through two yards because I couldn't hold on to her, and being diagnosed with osteopenia, and with being older.... I couldn't take a chance on breaking a hip or my back.
Which reminds me, hubby told me last night that a neighbor with a very small dog was walking her dog yesterday and about a block away a man came out and told her to hold her dog as there was a bobcat running through the neighborhood. His house backs up to the golf course. The woman said she picked her dog up to carry back home, and saw the bobcat running in between houses in that block.
Now if that had been Sheeba, she would have given that bobcat a run for its life - and dragged me with her, I'm afraid! It's bad enough when we get some coyotes walking through our back community yard. A bobcat? No thank you.
I guess I've gotten off track. My title about daring to dream again. I've had many dreams, many of which I have shared on here. Many I have not. I've given up on many of my dreams. Some people like to 'shoot' dreams down. Why do they do that? Because they don't align with their dreams. Because they think they are stupid or unattainable. I did have dreams at one time. Now it seems I just live life one day at a time. I made this my life... what is the saying - "you make your bed and lie in it"? Well, that's what I did. And so many others like me.
Reminds me of the song 'The Impossible Dream' sung first, I think, by Andy Williams.
To dream the impossible dreamTo fight the unbeatable foeTo bear with unbearable sorrowTo run where the brave dare not go
That song always reaches deep inside me, bringing to life dreams I had of old. What does it make you feel? What is your impossible dream?
Blessings!
