One thing at a time....

 I didn't make it over to see Ms. Amy last night.  But I did get other things accomplished yesterday.  I talked about 15 minutes with my boss and he goes "you pick."  NOT what I really wanted to hear.  But, pick I did and chose the other location I had recently gotten information for the board meeting.  I confirmed we will do it there; sent an email cancelling the other.  Now with the holidays, some of them are on vacation and I can't get the answers I am still wanting.  I like being 'hands on' and being focused on what I'm to do.  I need more answers from those who are not responding to me.  UGH.  But, I have prayed about it and I need to let God do what He does best.  He don't need my help, my anxiety, my stress.  I can't change how it will end up - and it isn't until February, and nothing can be done until February, so get over myself, right?

I had meant to run to see Ms. Amy, but also wanted to get the salsa made last night.  I made about 8 batches of salsa before I ran out of pepper.  The last batch of salsa may not be as hot ... oh well, it's a gift so they can't complain, right?  Or they can just add their own peppers.  I am going to get more hot peppers today so that I can make a couple more batches.  I'd rather have too much than not enough.  I chose to make the salsa..... and I'm getting all the jars washed and rinsed....and here comes hubby.  He decides "I don't have to fix dinner (we went out for a big lunch) so he is going to finish off the salsa we currently have in the refrigerator for his dinner."  Ok.  So, I move away from the sink and just walk in to the other room cause he needs the sink the rinse out the salsa jar (getting in my way).  He HAD to do it just as I was starting to get things done.  He then proceeds to tell me that I ought to see Ms. Amy first - but I really wanted to get these done.  I sit down while waiting on him to get out of my way.  He just stands there. I ask what does he need.  "Nothing.  I'm just tired of sitting in the front room by myself."  Lord, help me!  I just responded that someone has to get the gifts completed for Christmas and since it's me, obviously I can't sit in the front room with him.

And THEN, my lay leader at the RV park text'd me wanting the title and scripture for the New Year's message I am to give.  I told him he was too early (they usually check a week before)... I will let him know by Saturday what I'm going to speak on.  Add THAT pressure!  Glad I'm not speaking Christmas as I had been asked.  I traded it and am so glad I did.  But I do have New Years Day.  I need to work on that tonight as well.  I was going to talk about fasting, but I'm not getting the feeling it's what I need to speak on at this time.  And I had started working on it too!  So I need to find another topic and another message.  Lord, help!

At least with all my busyness going on now (as it always is just before the Christmas holiday), I will be able to relax on Christmas day.  Christmas Eve will be chaotic somewhat, but that's ok.  I should have everything done by then.  I will run things over to my neighbors and Ms. Amy either tonight or tomorrow and that will remove that 'want'. But Christmas Day, hubby and I will have our morning as we usually do.  Then we will have a few hours before I need to do anything in preparation for dinner.  Only have one meal, versus two that I usually have on this day.  It will be more relaxing and I will be able to visit more.  AND I have Monday off work, and hopefully the granddaughter and great granddaughter - and a grandson or two if they want to come over - will be here to bake cookies.  YAY!

I read a story yesterday about a lamb who is called a 'bummer lamb'.  What is that?  It is a baby lamb that is rejected by its mother for whatever reason after it is born.  Once the mother rejects that lamb, kicks it away from her, she will never accept that lamb near again.  The lamb's head droops very low in its rejection, and becomes very weak.  If the shepherd does not intervene, the baby lamb will die.  So what does the shepherd do?

He will pick up this baby lamb, wrap it up, and take it into his own home.  He will lay it on his chest so that it can feel his heartbeat.  He will raise that lamb in his home, and once the lamb is strong enough, he will take it and put it back in to the sheepfold.  And when the shepherd calls his sheep to come to him, this little lamb, when it hears his voice calling, will be the first to come running to the shepherd, because he knows him.

And that is like our Shepherd.  When life comes at us so hard that we feel rejected, devalued, unworthy to live.... our Shepherd sees us, and He gathers us in to His arms, into His heart, and holds us close.  He wraps us in His love and holds us close to His heart, so that we can hear His heart beat.  And when we become strong, He lets us go; and when He calls us and we hear His voice, we come running as fast as we can, so that we can be close to our Shepherd once again.

Jesus is our Shepherd. 

Psalm 23: 1-6 (NKJV):  "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Run to our Shepherd and know that He is good.  He will gather you in His arms and love you.

Blessings!

I really think there were three Mondays this week!

 and I'm hoping that today will be a Tuesday at least! So many meetings to schedule and very full calendars.  So many things I had to complete this week.  No wonder I'm so tired!  Hubby comes in at 11AM-ish yesterday and asked to take me to lunch.  I said no, I had to work through to get things done timely.  So then he comes back about 3PM and asks if he can take me to dinner.  Is he feeling guilty or is still clueless?  I again had to tell him no because our neighbor's daughters are flying in from Florida and I need to be here to open up the house for them.  He said he knew I was tired and didn't want me to have to fix dinner.

So.... why couldn't HE fix dinner?  Why couldn't HE go get a take-out order and bring back?  No - he prefers sit down dinners at a restaurant.  We even fight over the fast-food places.  I'm ok with fast-food.  It's cheaper and I get my food fairly quickly, can eat, and leave, and no added 20% or more tip.  Hubby, on the other hand, prefers going to a nice place for dinner where he can order a nice meal, have people wait on him, and leave tips.   I try to save money (in most cases), and he likes to spend it.  Which is another reason we have separate checking and savings accounts.

We went to bed last night at our usual time.  As hubby climbs in, he says to me, "Let's pretend tomorrow is Saturday."  I sorta scoffed and said "Every day is Saturday to you."  I don't mind working, I really don't, although we can manage without my check.  I would get a part-time job for spending money - plus it would get me OUT of the house for a few hours.  I was raised on no money; I know how to tighten the belt.  I know that God will always provide for us; He always has, and always will.  I'm just not sure what the issue is on why hubby fights me so about quitting my job.   Other than he won't have the freedom to do whatever he wants to do if I'm home and not working.  But then, neither will I.  He will truly 'own' me then.  sigh.  Then on the other hand, although I'm already here 24x7, the thought that I'd have to be in the same room most of the time and well... lets just leave it at that.  I never in my wildest dreams imagined someone could live their life doing nothing.  Enough said.

I was able to read a couple chapters in the book Atomic Habits again last night.  I'm finding it very interesting.  Still working on that 1% each day.  Unfortunately it is sometimes in different areas.  But, that's ok too - at least I'm doing something!  I straighten up an area that needs it; I get on the trampoline or treadmill for 5-10 minutes; at least I am getting something - that little 1% accomplished.  Part of it is lack of time to focus on something, but I have a feeling a majority of my problem isn't time, it's my 'want to'.  I mean, I do want to get it done, but I want to do it myself. I don't want someone reminding me, not telling me, nor watching me.  

Am I whining this morning?  I don't mean to.  I think it is just this tiredness of soul that I have had lately.  I need to dive in a refreshing river somewhere.  Metaphorically speaking.  Had to look up that word to see if I used it correctly.  Probably not.  But you get the picture, I'm thinking.

The words from the 23rd Psalm came to me in the middle of the night - for whatever reason.  "He leads me beside the still waters; He restores my soul."  

Do you remember that part?  Maybe I'll write the verses here for you:

Psalm 23:1-6 (NKJV):  "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

So many times lately I have recited that scripture to myself, telling myself that 'God's got this!', because He does.  I don't have to fear about the present, cause God's got this.  I don't have to wonder about the future, cause God's got that too.  I have nothing to fear, nothing to worry about.  As long as I put God first, He's got my life in the palm of His hand.  I can't change anything without His intervention.

And He has you in the palm of His hand as well.  Open up your hand and let Him have what is troubling you.  Let Him work on what is going through your mind.  Trust Him to work things out for your good.  He will, you know, if you will let Him.

Blessings!

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Well, that didn't happen...

 What?  I really meant to exercise yesterday.  I had told hubby that when I got off work I was going to start going to the rec center without him and do some exercises.  I didn't go. I was tired.  Not sure what I was going to do since I was staying home last night and hubby was still going to his study with his friends, I sat down on the couch and after he left.... I dozed for about 1/2 hour.  I don't normally do that, and even though I had a restful weekend, a day of work wore me out mentally.  When I woke up I decided to pick up the mail.  In the mail was a couple things I had obviously ordered.  One will be part of Christmas.... but the other was a book by Mario Murillo.  

Mario Murillo.  He is a man on fire for God, for sure!  I've watched bits and pieces of some of his services on Flashpoint with Gene Bailey.  Lance Wallnau has also had him on his show.  Mario also wrote Vessels of Fire and Glory that is an amazing book and I'm thinking of rereading it.  But this little pamphlet I started on last night - I couldn't put it down and ended up reading the entire book last night before going to bed.  Yep.  Now he isn't a write of 'feel good' stories.  He spoke up and called sin what it is - sin!  He called out the Bidens, the Clintons, the Obamas and even called out Democrats and others that are against the Word of God.  He called out those who are teaching our grandchildren and our great grandchildren about transgenders, about marriage, about sexual activities and other sinful things IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!  It grieves my heart that my grandchildren may have been under that teaching and that my great-grandchildren may be in line to hear it as they start school.  We as parents and grandparents must seek out what they are teaching our families and protest those things that are sins against the Lord.  There are people who want to rewrite our history as we have seen with the statues being torn down.  What they don't realize, they are not destroying only the nation's history of things that happened that we can learn from, but they are destroying who they are and what their lives were developed from!  

Ok, I'm done.  I forget the name of the book.  Laid on the table for hubby to read.  He will really get riled up, I'm sure, as he is much more political than I am.  If you want to read it - check in - it may be available.  It's a quick read, but it is very imformative.  Much I had heard...but to hear it from someone who is a man of God and calling out pastors who have wetted down the Word of God to make his church comfortable instead of stepping on their toes... this book is dynamic.  Seriously, for your own information on what is going on, you need to read this book.  I know we have pastors like Joel Olsteen who has been quoted as not believing in hell and refuses to talk about it.  I know we have pastors who do not believe the Bible.  And I've heard of others that are/were highly respected who have turned their backs on the Bible as being 'old' and they have blended themselves into the world and are no longer serving the faithful God who has always guided them.    May I never be like one of them.

I believe the Bible is the breathed Word of God and it is to be obeyed.  Growing up I took the Bible for granted, never saw my mother read it.  I know she allowed things to happen that as a mother she should have stopped and prevented.  I didn't see the Christian life lived at home.... so when I left home, I had no idea of what it even was.  No examples, nothing to look up to or follow.  No wonder my life was such a mess.  No wonder I went the way of the world.  

But once I found Jesus, I knew that I wanted to follow Him completely.  I knew that His Word spoken in the gospels was for me.  I knew the only way to live life was to follow Him.  I surrendered my heart to Jesus and I have never looked back.  In Him alone, I live.  There is nothing I need, for He is my satisfaction.  Do I go through tough times?  Absolutely.  But one thing I have that many people don't is a relationship with Jesus and He sustains me through every trial.  He teaches me daily how to pray and how to live for Him.  He is the Foundation on which I stand, my Nail in a Sure Place.  (can't think of that scripture right now where that is found, but if I don't forget, will share another day).

I nearly forgot it was Wednesday (already!) this week.  I got up a bit before 4AM and came in here to sit down in my chair, thinking I might doze for a bit before hubby got up... and the thought hit my mind that I needed to take my Wednesday Fosamax.  Pickles!  So I knew where the pill was.  I usually set it out the night before and put on my phone case so that I don't forget - but I didn't even think of it last night.  I believe that God reminded me I needed to take it since I should stay on schedule.  And, once I take it I can't lay down, I must remain in an upright position for a minimum of 30 minutes, it caused me to turn the light on and begin my daily reading.  I love my mornings alone.  Hubby didn't get up until just before 5AM today so I had some time before getting my coffee.  I love spending my mornings with Jesus.  They are the start of my day.

In fact, when we get away in August, we will more than likely sleep a little later, but will have more of the day to spend reading and being quiet.  My preference would be to just curl up with my Bible or a book that will teach me more about Jesus, and forget about anything else.  But hubby can only do that so long and he has to eat (which means I have to fix a meal) or he will want to go someplace.  I really wish we still had access to the hermitages we used to go to.  I love just being with Jesus and spending all my time focused on Him.  He refreshes and restores my soul.  

Psalm 23:1-6 (NKJV):  "The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

There is no one like Jesus.  He is our Shepherd; we are His sheep.  He loves us and cares for us, and those of us who know Him, know His voice, and go to Him when He calls us.

Did you know that?  That many times sheep owned by many different people can be put in the same pen, and when a shepherd who loves his sheep calls them, his sheep will come to him and go with him.  A hireling will call out to the sheep and the sheep will ignore them because they don't recognize his loving voice.  It's a job to him.  But a shepherd, he speaks to his sheep and they know his voice.

Just like Jesus, our Shepherd.  He talks with us and we know His voice.  He speaks in so many ways; through the Bible, His Word.  He speaks sometimes audibly to us (I love those times when I hear His voice!) and sometimes He speaks through other people.  Through a book that we might be reading.  Through a song we may hear.  Through simple things, He will show us how much He loves us.  

A plant in a garden, when it is watered, will grow and mature and bear fruit.  A man or woman who waters their mind with the Word of God, will grow and mature and bear much fruit.  Oh that we all would seek to know Jesus and His Word of truth and bear His fruit to this hurting world!   My prayer is that you will choose to be watered by the Word and bear fruit in Jesus' name.

Blessings!