What is today? When I get to do the 'fun thing'. Actually, I guess yesterday it was... at 8PM, like an obedient patient, I started drinking two liters (like in half a gallon) of this 'stuff'. I managed to get it down without too much difficulty. I finished it about 9:45PM. We went to bed at 10PM. At 10:15PM I was making a 'run for it'. Forget the jammies. Didn't make it; didn't expect it that soon. (TMI?) I went back to bed, only to jump up again. Again I tried to go to bed, and had to quickly jump back up. (In the meantime, hubby is snoring). I sat on the bathroom floor, my head against the wall, trying to sleep. It evades me. Uncomfortable.
A bit after 11PM I felt I could go back to bed; said a quick prayer that God would allow me to get some rest, and He did. I awoke about 3:10AM with the urge to visit that room again. By 3:30AM I was drinking the last of the liquid I had to drink. Now mind you I have had nothing to eat for the past 30+ hours so I don't have muchin me anyway. But I do have a lot of liquid. I spent from 3:30AM to nearly 5AM in the bathroom... decided it was safe enough to take a shower, which I did. So far so good. We will leave in about 45 minutes to head over to the surgery center. I am to be there at 7:30 and the procedure is at 8:30AM.
But you know what thought comes to my mind? My sister's ex-husband's wife had a colonoscopy less than a year ago. She went in for a routine one, just like I am (now I've had 2 of these already so I know what to expect).... but she never went home. She died in the hospital a few hours later. I don't know what complications came up; I know nothing other than she had a colonoscopy. Also, when my sister had her last one, they clipped the intestine and she ended up in ICU for 3 days. Yeah, those things are running through my mind this morning. But you know what?
Psalm 119:30 (NIV): "I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws."
What I remember also is God's faithfulness. He has never failed me. No matter what difficulty or trouble came against me; no matter how discouraged and hurt I have been. No matter how sick I get or what I go through, one thing I know for sure.
Jesus loves me. Jesus loves ME. I can go through anything when I know He is walking THROUGH the battle, the journey, with me.
Philippians 4:13 (NIV): "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."
Life has been hard, in a lot of respects, but I know that Jesus has been faithful to me. He has never failed me. He walks with me, He talks with me, and He always assures me of His love when I turn the wrong way. Or if something happens, He shows me how much He cares for me.
I'm going into this 'thing' this morning with open ears and an open heart. I'm His. He will take care of me all the way. He will always provide for me.
And when this thing is over - we're going out to eat! I'm hungry! I'm thinking pizza - of all things! But knowing hubby.... sigh... it won't be pizza. Or he may surprise me and give in. I don't want a salad today.... I want FOOD.
Say a prayer for me that the resultsof this routine colonoscopy will be clean and everything will go according to the schedule and plan. Stay tuned. God isn't done with me yet. Nor with you.
Blessings!
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