But you can change.......

I've been pulling things from "Winning with People" by John Maxwell and sharing at work this week. Today's comments were based on who we are determines how we view life. Did you realize that the only way to change how you view life, is to change who you are on the inside? We all have attitudes, assumptions, expectations about ourselves, other people and life. These factors color how we let people treat us - and how we treat people.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Phil McGraw puts it another way - "You teach other people how to treat you."

Hmmmmm. Food for thought.

Our thinking and our attitudes are as much a part of us as our talents and abilities. They determine what we do, how we react/respond. Our genetic makeup can be good news and bad news. Some of your qualities are awesome. That's true for everyone, even me. :-) But we also may have some genetic makeup that we don't like yet have to learn to live with. That doesn't mean others have to accept us 'just the way we are'. It means when it comes to character issues, we need to work on our weaknesses, and on our talents, work on our strengths. You can't change your genes by choice.

However, other factors are up to you.

Your self image, for example. Poet T. S. Eliot observed, "Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They do not mean to do harm. They are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves." A person who has a negative self-image will expect the worst, damaging relationships along the way. They find others who are similarly negative. Yet, those with a positive self-image will expect the best for themselves. Those whose self-image is both positive and accurate are likely to be highly successful. They gravitate to successful people.

Everything you have experienced in life contributes to who you are. What you have already experienced as children, you didn't have much choice over. However, you do have choice over many of the experiences you have now. We choose who we marry. We choose our jobs. We choose where to take a vacation, whether or not to exercise, whether or not we will learn something new. We can't undo our past experiences, but we can reprogram ourselves using new ones.

Even more important than choosing our experiences is deciding what our attitudes will be about the experiences we have. We have complete control over how we respond, what our attitude is, about every experience. Whether our outlook is up or down, expectant or reluctant, open or closed, is completely our choice. Your attitude will make or unmake you. It's not the result of your birth, your circumstances, or your bank account. It's all a choice.

One of the most important things we will ever do is choose our friends. As parents we watch who our children (and in some cases, our grandchildren) run around with, because we want them to be around others who will have good influences on them. The people they are closest to will shape who they are. Let me rephrase that. The people we are closes to will shape who we are and how we will respond to things, what our attitude will be.

The words of aurthor and speaker Charlie "Tremendous" Jones really are true: the difference between who you are today and who you will be in five years will be the people you spend time with and the books you read.

The way you view others is determined by who you are. you cannot get away from that truth. If you don't like people, that really is a statement about you and the way you look at people. Your viewpoint is the problem. If that's the case, don't try to change others. Don't even focus on others. If you change yourself and become the kind of person you desire to be, you will begin to view others in a whole new light. And that will change the way you interact in all your relationships.

Maybe it's time for an evaluation of your self-image. Are you, on the outside, who you want to be on the inside? Are you, on the inside, what you portray on the outside? Do you need to make a different choice? Your choices also affect everyone around you. What do you want them to see in you - and what choices do you want them to make in their future? Something to think about.

Blessings!