Life as I know it...

Life has been pretty busy lately. Work in itself has kept me busy. More busy than I would really want to be - but it is a job and it does pay the bills. Guess I shouldn't complain.

I took a vacation day yesterday to go to Tucson for our youngest son's 'graduation' from rehab therapy. The 'graduation' itself lasted maybe 15 minutes. Then they had yummy ice cream sandwiches, sodas and chips to celebrate. There were only four men who graduated this date. So proud of my son for at least going through the process for the past four months. Now I can only pray he will apply what he has learned. Interestingly enough, he didn't seem too happy to be going home.

I'm working from home today. I don't do that often, but with one boss in Tucson today and the other in meetings all day - it was perfect. I am on a Board and they are meeting at my house tonight so it works perfectly as I will probably need to make tea and have the table set. Need to find out if the board members are bringing food or if it is my turn. I have a great minestone soup I can make.

Hubby has left to go to the doctor for the stress test results of last week. He hates it when I stay home - he doesn't know what to do with himself. Today he is panicking because he wants to clean the house up for my board members. I tell him they aren't coming to see my house, they are coming for a board meeting - all he needs to clean is the bathroom! Of course he has known for two months they are coming here tonight. Just saying.

My knitting has improved quite a bit - as has my crocheting. I'm having so much fun with it. Just finished a prayer shawl last night and am working on a lap blanket for veterans and a baby blanket for a friend at work who is expecting. I'm loving making things and giving them away. Wish I had more time to do them. I was thinking about it this morning and know I need to block specific time to knit/crochet, and block specific time to read. I'm missing my reading and am so far behind in my books. I need to determine what to do when. I guess when the TV is off I can read - and when hubby is watching TV I can knit/crochet?

Nothing going on right now. Really looking forward to doing Jailbreak Getaway with my daughter and granddaughter. We decided to stay in town this year and basing our stay in a hotel, go where we want from there. I'm so in need of a few days of just relaxing. We do plan to get facials, pedicures, and going to the music museum. The rest if knitting/crochet, shopping, and laying by the pool. That is (laying by the pool) if it isn't overrun by children staying at the hotel. Crossing our fingers we will have it pretty much by ourselves. That would be nice for all of us.

Hope that your days are happy and busy.

Blessings!

Always changes

The year is quickly passing by and with it have come so many life-changes and situation/circumstance changes. Life-changes in that we've had to say goodbye to a few friends recently, and situation/circumstances - well, those are always happening.

Easter is Sunday and today is Maundy Thursday. We plan to go to our church tonight where we are having foot washing and communion services. I have been surprised to note that many churches do not do that anymore. For that matter, the reason they probably don't is because people do not go. And that part is sad for they do not know what they are missing. I think of my own family and the special blessing one gets to be a part of this type of service. It's humbling, for sure, but didn't Christ humble Himself to wash His disciples' feet? And we are to follow His example.

Of course Christ also gave us a new commandment - John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

How many times do we fail that command because we are so stubborn and prideful that we refuse to love one another. I agree, it is hard sometimes to love others. It's hard to even LIKE them. But Christ has called us to do just that. There are some people who are difficult to get along with. Very difficult, in fact. But by refusing to associate with them or be in contact with them is giving them power over you. And, it will keep you out of heaven.

I think with my own siblings who do not talk to each other. None of them really care if they speak or not to each other. Ever. But they will be held accountable for not making the effort to reconcile. Pride and stubbornness is a horrible thing. I will not go to hell because I gave a sibling power over me by my not forgiving them and letting it go. If they choose not to associate with me - that is on them. I must do ever effort to reconcile. Doesn't mean we have to do things together. But it does mean I need to love them.

I had something happen this week that hurt me, and yet, it wasn't anyone's fault. It was just a miscommunication - or rather, lack of communication. My first instinct from the hurt was disassociation. I didn't want to go where I had been hurt. I didn't want to face those who hurt me. And yet, I knew it was just miscommunication, and it wasn't really anyone's fault that I acted on my own, without authority. It took a few days, but I have finally let it go and I can face these people and go to that place without any hurt and frustration. I did what I thought was a good thing, and it was rejected. Not my fault. I just know not to do it again. :) Not a big deal. But it was the first day or so as I processed it. Not giving the pain of hurt power over me. I am better than that.

I'm working from home tomorrow. I don't often get that chance but with one boss on vacation and one working from home tomorrow, it's a great opportunity. I have enough to do, for sure! AND, I was able to get two monitors to take home so that I can set it up as I have it here at work. It's so much easier to work with two monitors than just one or just the laptop. I'm hoping to get a lot done tomorrow.

It's about time to go home so will close this off and get my briefcase packed to take home. Hope that you have a blessed Easter - think about the REASON we celebrate Easter. It's not all candy and bunny rabbits and little chicks. It's all about Jesus. He died for you, and for me. Took all our past sins, our present sins, and our future sins, all on His shoulders and never refused us. He crawled to that cross so that He could bear all our sins.

Now that is my Savior. And yours.

Blessings!

and now it's April....

UGH. I hate it when I have a paragraph typed and then it disappears. Well, I obviously hit a key and it took it away - and I can't find the thingie that you click to bring it back. So I guess it's gone. Oh well, it was nothing more than lamenting about the time flying by and I am getting nothing accomplished.

I just read my son's blog and it is refreshing to hear how things are progressing with his family. I wish I could help, but this is something that unless they ask, I need to stay out of. My daughter-in-law's mother's celebration of life is this Saturday and we plan to attend. I love my daughter-in-law and I loved her mother and father. It breaks my heart that she misses them so, but it is like the 'circle of life'. We all will go that way at some point.

Another dear friend passed away this past week. I have known him for over 30 years. His wife passed a few years ago, and now he has. I will miss his hugs and "better now" when we chatted. His daughter and I still see each other at our Needles of Hope knitting/crocheting group each month.

Speaking of, we have our Needles of Hope group this Saturday morning and I plan to go for a couple hours. I'm not that good at it yet, and haven't donated much, but I do enjoy the fellowship and working on things at home. I actually made several baby blankets before realizing I was creating them lop-sided so can't donate them. I'm going to try to fix them somehow, but haven't yet.

I've also started working on puzzles. My big brother sent me several puzzles and I bought a board to work on them with. It is relaxing to do as well as the knitting is. I work a few pieces most every day - it isn't a rush to complete, but just something to do that I enjoy.

My son-in-law was in an accident last night - he was in the center lane (which is one-way 4-7PM I think M-F) and a car decided to get in that lane and hit him on the right passenger side - causing the air bags to go off - that's how hard he was hit. In fact, he is in the ER now and I'm still waiting to hear what the x-ray results and lab results show. He has been there most of the day. He went last night but it was so full that after waiting a couple hours he left and went back this morning. A photo I saw had him taking an IV for hydration - but I don't know why other than not having anything to drink (and probably eat) since he arrived.

Our speaking engagements at the RV parks is over for this season and we don't start up again until November. We already have our schedule for next year. I should work on them this summer, but probably won't. Life is too short and I want to have fun. :-)

I'm still working and probably will until the day I die. I mentioned to hubby a few weeks ago I wanted to start downsizing and getting rid of things. When he asked why, I told him that I would like to sell the house in two years and get a smaller place, and retire. He came unglued. I was told in no uncertain terms that he was not moving and he would not get rid of any of his things and I couldn't touch them. I just looked at him. It's ok he "retired" at 70 after being laid off from his last job.... but I turn 70 this year and he won't let me retire even at 72. He has proven he doesn't love me, he loves the life that I can give him. And that's so disappointing. I'm worth so much more. Enough of that.

I just took a few moments here at work and so now I need to get back at it. Good thing I like my job - but it does wear me out - plus the drive back and forth. I know my boys understand that comment. They also have driven back and forth like I have.

Blessings!

I did catch it....

Yeah, I caught the cold from hubby, and even after all my efforts of olive leaf extract and black elderberry syrup and even soltice, I could not get rid of it. I had to work last week because I had meetings I was in charge of pulling together - but by Friday, my boss tells me I have to go to the Urgent Care - she was sending me! And by then I was actually starting to feel I was coming out of it! But like a good employee, I did go to Urgent Care where they told me I had a cold with chronic cough. Seriously? Got an antibiotic and cough syrup, and a $75 bill for going to Urgent Care. It's all good. Took the last pill yesterday and finishing up the cough syrup in the next day or so. I'm finally getting back to "normal" - whatever that is.

With being so sick, I haven't been going anywhere. In fact, I didn't even go to church on Sunday. Just didn't want to get in to a coughing fit in the middle of the message. It's been nice being able to 'lay around' and just take care of me. I've been sleeping in the back room because I cough throughout the night. By Friday this week I will probably be back in my bed because our granddaughter will be spending the weekend.

I was so sick that I actually forgot a grandson's 13th birthday! Could not believe I forgot it. But, I made amends by picking him up on Sunday and instead of going shopping for a toy, we took him out for dinner and he got his $20 to buy whatever. And of course, Dairy Queen dilly bars to take back home. That is sort of a tradition for the two of us. Sure do love that little boy!

Work has been really busy again this week and the longing to retire has been great. If we could find a smaller place (much smaller) and get rid of a bunch of things, there is hope that I could perhaps find a part-time job and be closer to home, and we make it on what social security is. Hubby chose to retire at 70.... I should have that choice, don't you agree? sigh. If only it was that simple.

I'm feeling better, which is the purpose of this update, just to say I've caught the cold and getting rid of it. My big brother sent me a bunch of puzzles - which I dearly love! I ended up buying a puzzle board to work them on so that when I have to move them from the table I don't have to tear them apart. In fact, I got notification it arrived today. But, I won't have time for a puzzle until tomorrow night or this weekend. Always something going on, for sure.

Gotta get ready to leave - 4 minutes to go and counting. Stay Healthy!

Blessings!

Working from home today....and I'm glad.

Definitely glad as the big super snow storm is moving across the eastern United States - and is dropping lots of cold and rain here in middle Arizona. About an hour up north from us is reporting 8 inches of snow already.

Sitting here at my computer, working from home, I feel the cold coming in through the big air conditioner in the wall that we don't use. Would love to have it removed, but it would require tear out the entire wall and because our wood outside the house is unique and OLD. With planning to move within a few years, I'm hoping to just 'deal with it' and let the new owners make that decision and have that expense. I love my house, but we can't afford it once I quit working, and I really do want to quit working. Sometime. It panics the hubby because he knows he will have to quit doing some things that he enjoys doing.... but that is a whole nother story. I could give up a lot of things in order to retire.

Life is settling down somewhat with the granddaughter. Now that the 'newness' is wearing off, she won't get by with as much as she has been. This isn't a 'vacation' for her, even though she is relishing it I'm sure. I told my daughter the other day to lay down the law and tell her if she doesn't stick to the rules, she can go back and live with the stepmother. See how fast she straightens up. I just don't know. We've found some flaws in the story and just am not sure what to do. In the meantime, we still have her every other weekend. In fact, we have her this weekend. She may think it will be a lazy quiet weekend, but I have something at church Saturday morning and she will be going with me - even if she is the youngest one there!

Gasp! The sun just came out in the midst of the cold and rain! It just brightens the entire room! :-) Even though I am working from home, I am hoping another dear friend is also working from home - and if she is, we are meeting up for lunch today. And there the sun goes away just as fast as it came up! sigh. She is working from home so now we are trying to decide if we want to brave the crappy weather to meet up. Usually we meet in the evening with the hubbies, but we haven't been able to truly chat like we like to. My problems are NOTHING compared to what she has had to deal with over the years. She sure could use a break!

Need to get back to work - only taking a short break to add something. Hubby has been sick with a cold x two weeks - this morning I woke up with the raspy chest and sore throat. Olive Leaf Extract and Black Elderberry syrup and green tea is my menu for today. It's helped a lot already. I can't get sick - I have to work.

Hope you are having a good day.

Blessings!

What is really going on....

I don't know. Clouds are starting to clear, and yet, there are still issues. Of which I'm not really a part of and yet, I have become involved. As have others.

The granddaughter with the wicked step-mother. The granddaughter is actually doing quite well and is bringing her grades up (from a D to a B, I think) because she is 1) doing her homework and 2) getting help when she needs it, and 3) being encouraged to think it through and complete it. It's only been a couple weeks since everything blew wide open. It sure does seem like a lot longer. Yeah, things have calmed down somewhat.

The step-mother found a "good-bye" note written by the granddaughter in the car when she was cleaning it out. Issues brought out were her parents divorce (typical) and a few other things. Interestingly enough, although I have not seen the actual note, the daughter has and the stepmother is not listed as an issue at all. Isn't that interesting. Of course some in the family don't care for the stepmother, i.e., her constantly shrieking high-pitch voice and ramblings about nothing and always having to 'have a friend who, that happened to me, I did that, I went there, I I I I' comment.... anyway, I digress.

I do know that the stepmother is vicious in degrading and putting down my son's children, especially if they do something wrong. She thinks her son is perfect and he is her idol. No one compares to him in her eyes because 'she wasn't supposed to have any children'. Good thing it stopped with one! (Did I really say that out loud?) Sigh. She sometimes brings out the worst in me.

It has been an inconvenience of sorts - the daughter is a lyft driver and has had to quit early every day to pick the granddaughter up from school and then help with homework, fix dinner, etc. She loses about 3-4 hours a day income. Since it is vital right now to have the income, it hurts financially. But, at least the weekends another granddaughter has responsibility or we have her. It hasn't been too bad.... but I wonder if we are just making it too easy on the one granddaughter. Where are her daily chores, etc. Maybe after this weekend, we need to return her to her stepmother... and yet, I hate for her to be in that predicament again. The son won't be home until May or so, he says. We all want to help, but....

We have the granddaughter this weekend and we are taking her to see her father at the hospital. He is wanting to spend some time with her alone to discuss the letter so I'm hoping we will have some time to visit our other granddaughter and great-granddaughter while in Tucson. Although they may be coming up here as her other grandmother is ill and in the hospital. I will wait until we are down there and know what is going on before I contact her. Don't want her to wait for us and then we don't get the opportunity to visit for a little bit. I'm hoping we can before we leave, anyway, if she is in town.

On the other hand, I wish I knew how to help my other daughter-in-law. I know she is spending a lot of time at the hospital with her mother. Maybe I can fix dinner Sunday for the family. Will have to see what I can do. It's always good news when I read her mother is doing better. I wish I didn't have to work and could take time off to help with the family meals. But, it just isn't possible.

Sometimes I get really frustrated I have to work. I would much rather be busy helping family in tough times. But for now, that's my life. I like my job, love the people I work with. I just don't find enjoyment in the work. Doesn't that give me permission to retire? But then, the bills won't get paid. Need to work on emptying out the house and put it up for sale, find a smaller place, and then make my plans. Hopefully within the next few years I can be in a position to walk away. I would love that.

Gotta get back to work!

Blessings!

Chaos in the family.... and other things....

It seems like some days the chaos in my family is overwhelming and crazy. I'm actually doing ok. Either that, or it hasn't soaked in, the things that have been happening.

I got word yesterday afternoon that my dearest adopted aunt, Aunt Sue, passed away. I didn't want my kids hearing it from others so got ahold of my daughter-in-law so that she could pass the news on to her family before they heard from others. I let my daughter and granddaughter know - they could pass it on. Still debating on passing the news on to the youngest son - of course he is in the right place to hear about it, so I may text him this morning. Aunt Sue is the last of the four sisters. I think there is one brother left back in Arkansas I think it is. Aunt Sue would have been 95 in July this year. One of my granddaughters immediately called me to see if I was ok, for they know how much I loved Aunt Sue.

The youngest son is in the VA hospital in Tucson getting much needed help for his alcohol addiction and then for PTSD. Now if 'life' would just leave him alone so that he can get better. I'm so glad he is there now for with what is going on, it would cause him to drink even more.

I received a hysterical call from his wife the other day that my granddaughter was 'cutting' herself. Then the conversation (on her side) turned to her emotions, etc. (like it was all about her) - and then I spoke with my granddaughter. I got her to promise she wouldn't do it again and I was going to pick her up this weekend so that we can have some time together. After talking with my son, she had done this real lightly about 3 weeks ago when he was home. He talked to her about it then. Then he was gone to the hospital. The granddaughter has been "alone" with the wicked stepmother. sigh. I understand that 3 nights ago now, she again cut on her wrists. Not real deep, but probably enough to get a trickle of blood - I really don't know. Anyway, that is what the daughter-in-law saw and went into hysterics about.

So the son suggested that his wife call the school and ask the counselor to talk with the granddaughter. Only the school doesn't have a counselor - they have a psychiatrist. Who asked the question: Do you ever feel like you don't want to be on this planet anymore? And of course the question was 'sometimes'. Even I could answer that question today that way! So they called in a crisis team who talked with her, then took her to a hospital nearby when they questioned her more. In the end, the granddaughter was released to her aunt's custody with the instructions she was not to be left alone with the wicked stepmother. Ok those are my words. The wicked stepmother part. She is the reason our granddaughter feels unwanted, humiliated, embarrassed. The stepmother puts her down and embarrasses her.

The daughter took her to get her clothes and the stepmother was very irate with her, demanding to know why the granddaughter couldn't be alone with her - that "I saved her life and you are being unfair. I need to know what she has said that she can't be with me alone. Those are your words, I want written proof." And so on. My daughter sent me a copy of some of the texts written after she left the house with my granddaughter. Even after my son told her 'it's not about you'.

I had to ask my son why he stayed with her when she causes such chaos in his family. She is always the victim and ridicules his children and puts them down all the time while building her son up. If anyone observed him, they would know he is going to have major obstacles as he grows up due to her parenting. My son responded, when the kids aren't around, they get along fine, and one day the kids will leave. The boys have already left; our granddaughter is only 14. To allow her 4 more years of this verbal and emotional abuse is unacceptable. Because of whom I'm married to, my hands are tied. I did tell him that if I was single - which I am not - if I was single, she would be able to come live with me. He just doesn't get it.

So after all this, the bottom line is, the granddaughter will be staying with my daughter until my son gets out of the hospital in about 4-5 months. Another granddaughter and son-in-law will make sure she gets to school every day. This granddaughter and I will split weekends having her stay at our places to give my daughter a break.

and you thought you had problems? But in all of this, it IS about my granddaughter feeling safe, loved, and wanted. And we will make sure she feels that way. It takes a village to raise a child.

Blessings!