I think he may have been right...

 I sent a question to my oldest son not long ago about the stats on these blogs as mine had all of a sudden shot way, way, up as far as views, etc.  I'm used to 2-3 people reading this, and I'm sure they are all family. I know only of one and possibly two that read on a fairly regular basis.  So to see a high number was quite out of sync for this blog.  I asked the question to him, as he is far more knowledgeable about these blogs than I am; after all, he set me up way back when.  He mentioned something about bots (whatever they are) and gave a vague explanation. (Ok, maybe I just didn't understand the jargon)  But then he responded recently that he has seen the same thing on HIS blog, and he reaches far more people than I do.  In the meantime, as I looked at the numbers on here this morning, I am getting back to my normal 3 or so.  And that's ok.  I share way too much family inforation on here for it to go out to the world.  Right?

I hear hubby getting ready for his Bible study this morning.  He will be gone until about 10-10:30AM I think.  Since it is a breakfast study, he won't be following it up with lunch with a friend.  He will come back home and do whatever he needs/wants to do.  And I have a couple hours of quiet. Yes, I'm still working.... but I may take a break and go sit outside as it is so nice in the morning.  In fact, yesterday, hubby fussed at me... he came in about 8AM and 'suggested' I come outside and sit since it is so nice out. I just looked at him and responded "I'm working" (and I really was working on something!) - and he got irritated with me!  "I know you are working!"  and walked off, commenting as he left, "I'll go on out by myself!"  Ok then!  I finished what I was doing and made sure nothing was going on I needed to immediately attend to, grabbed a dishcloth I was working on (crochet) and went outside to sit with him - which made him happy.  So he started telling me the news he had read on his phone (sigh.  I really don't care about politics).  I stayed out about ten minutes or so and finally told him I needed to come back in to work and he was happy.  I had come sit with him.  In my mind I was thinking, 'well, if I wasn't working, I could stay out much longer!' but I kept my mouth shut.

We met friends for dinner at Macayo's last night.  And, for some reason, I wasn't hungry and nothing really sounded good... but I got a chimi de macayo - which is a burror stuffed with chicken.  I enjoyed the refried beans much more and only ate maybe half of the burro before asking for a box.  Then all evening I could taste the burro.  Guess my body really didn't want it.  Garcia's has my favorite - the Pollo Fundido which I love.  There is another place in Glendale that I like to go to and they have my Pollo Fundido and even give TWO - of which I can only eat one.  But I still enjoy the refried beans more.  I like taking the chips and scooping up the refried beans and eating them.  Just one of my little quirks. :-)

Tonight we have been invited to my daughter's for dinner... I know why - but hubby doesn't.  The grandson is doing a weekend turnaround and will be coming in tonight. He has a friend's wedding he is attending tomorrow then will be heading back.  Hubby will be surprised.  It will be good to see him - as it is whenever I get to see ANY of my grandchildren.  There are a couple I usually only see at Christmas. Literally.  I need to make more of an effort to see them all.

Sigh.  Hubby just came in to tell me 'bye'.. and asked if I had seen that a California senator had died (yes, I saw it when I checked emails). Then he asked if I had seen the drunken triade one of my boys had put on facebook.  (no, I don't get on facebook in the mornings). When I said no, he told me 'well don't'.  So you know that I will have to check it sometime this morning... but not now.  Until he wants to quit drinking... no pill or shot is going to do it for him.  And most times when he drinks, he sends me a text of which when questioned, he doesn't remember sending it... or he writes some triade on facebook, for the world to see... and causes sorrow and shame to come over me and hubby.  Enough of that.  

Romans 5:1-2 (NKJV):  "Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we also have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God."

We all remember the chorus "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so."

But do you believe it?  Do you really believe that Jesus loves YOU.  You, in spite of all your failures, all your quirks, all your falling out... do you believe that Jesus still loves you?  I want to tell you, YES, He does.  In spite of all our sins, in spite of all our failures.  In spite of all the temptations we fall into... Jesus still loves you.  And He still loves me.  You have no idea how many times I have fallen on my face and asked forgiveness.  But trust me, it does happen frequesntly.  Why?  Because even though I try to live a godly life, I cannot do it in my own power.  Wrong thoughts come. Wrong actions sometimes follow (thank goodness, not always).  And what does Jesus do whenever I confess these things to Him?

He offers me His grace.  I don't deserve it.  I don't deserve anything from Him.  But when I confess to Him my sins, my wrong thoughts, my attitude, etc., He always offers me grace.  Why?  Becaues He loves me so much that He went to the cross to die for me.  And on that cross, my sins were nailed.

And so were yours.  He loves you so much that he loves you even in your sins... and He will offer you grace when you confess them to Him.  By faith, we have access to the most high God through Jesus Christ.  He will help us get through any fire thrown at us.  We may think we are at peace right now... but the devil doesn't like us in peace so will do all he can to tear us down.  But we have Jesus on our side, and when we turn to Him, we access by faith His grace and in that grace we can stand against the devil himself.

So grateful for His grace.  Take a moment and just reflect on how far you have come... and feel the peace of His grace fall upon you.

Blessings!

A quiet Thursday, and a thought of rain...

 Sigh.  I don't think hubby has ANYthing going on today, which will mean he will be home all day.  He will sit at his computer most of the morning, changing scenery to the kitchen table with his phone if he fixes himself breakfast.  Then maybe back to the computer for awhile.  Then he will have lunch; sit with his phone, then the TV will come on.  Best move I ever made was buying the wireless headsets for the TV - he can watch/sleep/listen and I don't hear a thing.  I don't even know the TV is on unless I walk by that hallway and see it on.  And that's ok.  

I had my last training session for the week last night - and I just wasn't feeling it - but he kept pushing me.  Besides shaking legs, my biceps/tricepts felt like they were swollen.  I had to do... squats, lunges, leg press, hamstring press, another leg press machine..... I begged off one of the machines.... and then we did 3 different tricep exercises and 2 bicep - 4 sets of 15 reps each!  But I did manage to walk out of the gym on wobbling legs.  No more trainer until next Wednesday, assuming I will be back from my Jailbreak Getaway in time.  He's heading to Chicago with his girlfriend for the weekend so he will be gone until next Wednesday as well.  Good timing on my part - or his part, I guess.  I'm hoping hubby and I can get over to the gym maybe Friday and get a quick workout in ... still would like to go three times a week instead of just two - but it is what it is.  Laziness sets in.  I got home and sat down... didn't want to move.  Finally hubby fixed himself a sandwich for dinner and I fixed myself some leftover roast beef.  That was dinner.  He survived and so did I.  

My boss is back from Colorado so today may be a bit more busy than it has been.  And the other is gearing up for a cruise next week so he will be sending things to get done before he leaves.  Oh joy.  At least it keeps me busy.  I have already completed the first of the month reports I need to submit - got those out of the way.  Now I need to focus on getting meeting series on the calendars for next year.  Always some busy work to do.

Two more days before I get to have lunch with my oldest son - looking forward to it.  He suggested a restaurant that I haven't been to before, but I know he has, and he has found them favorable with the food. I agreed with that restaurant and am looking forward to seeing him and spending time with him.  And anyone else who should happen to come with him - if they do.  Love hanging out with family.

Hosea 6:3 "He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth."

We don't see much of rain out here, but have you ever paused to look at the sky when it is forming rainclouds?  You watch the white clouds turn grey, then a darker gray (is it grey or gray?)  Sometimes it cools the temperature enough that you want to go sit outside and enjoy that respite of coolness....with one eye on the clouds themselves.  Oh that we will enjoy the fullness of Him as we sit there!

Sometimes there are sprinkles as a warning the rain is coming.  A drop here... a drop there.... and out here it then usually stops.... but elsewhere, it may all of a sudden become a downpour.  I wonder if some people appreciate the rain?  Of course the areas that have become flooded have not, when they expect flooding, I'm sure the rain bursting from heaven brings fear.  But when it is a soft steady rain, does that bring a bit of peace to your soul?

There have been many times out here that we actually PRAY for rain to happen.  Everything is dry; especially this year all my plants have died - even the new cactus plants I spent a large sum on died and I had to throw them away.  Now mind you, I actually blame hubby for that.  He refuses to 'allow' me to water the plants (so I do sometimes when he is at one of his breakfasts)... he will water the plants, but on HIS schedule.... I tell him at least every other day, give the plants SOME WATER!!  He will eventually water the plants and soak them.... instead of maybe soaking once a week and then lightly watering ... no, let's soak every time - which could be once every week - and he gets after me that we need new plants (in other words, I need to go buy more plants).  I bought the cactus for the back because they don't need much water.  The neighbor told him not to overwater them, about every other week water them - so he went three weeks, I think.... and of course the cactus died.  He's pushing for me to buy more plants - and right now, I'm not going to.  I'll wait until it gets cooler and will buy something to put in the pots.  It's MY fault they die, you know.... cause he does water them... ugh.  I have gotten off topic.

Why is it that some times we will pray for rain, sitting outside and watching clouds, feeling the coolness of the air - but as soon as it starts to rain steadily.... what do we do?  We take off to run for cover!  But what if we stood up, opened our arms up to heaven and thank God for sending the rain in answer to prayers made?  What if we embraced the pleasure He is sending us with the rain?  The cloud cover, the coolness of the air, the rain.  I love to walk in the rain; I don't care if I get wet.  I don't usually get an opportunity to do so, but I remember as a child of playing in the rain.  

Mama's house has a runoff down the side of the house when it rained... and the kids loved to run and slide through it down the yard.  I have a photo of them playing in it somewhere - unless one of the children have already laid claim to it.  I still have several photos to give to them... but I think at this point I will make the choices on who gets which one.  At least I got rid of several photos when they came over one time.  I still have photos printed.  Why?  Because if they stay on the phone - or even get downloaded to the computer - who would ever see them?  I just haven't put in albums.  I gave all my creative memory papers, bag, scissors, etc. to my granddaughter who does create these beautiful albums a few years back.  Maybe that is what I ought to do - start over and do it again.  If I had spare time, I guess.  I do need to re-evaluate what I do with my 'free' time.

Here is a challenge - and a prayer for you - the next time it rains.  Go stand or sit outside and let it rain on you.  (without the thundering and lightening)  Stand beneath the pouring heavens and open your arms wide and turn your face heavenward.  And then pray this prayer...

"Lord, let it rain. And when it does, give me the courage to stand under the heavens with my arms outstretched to Your work. Cause me to be willing to go where You take me, even if the path is uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Tear down any manmade obstacles that keep me from seeing You fully. Open my heart to receive any thing that draws me closer to You.  Let me be drenched by Your Spirit.  Please forgive me for running back to the familiar comforts that take me away from you.  Send rain, Lord, I'm waiting, and watching, drench me in You. Amen"

Be  open and waiting and willing.... and see what God will do in you.

Blessings!

It had to be the Coke Zero....

 I rarely drink soda anymore.  I really do prefer my water, but occasionally I will drink ice tea or hot tea as well.  Last night while out with my daughter for our 'girls night out', we went to a deli and I decided to have a soda.  I got Coke Zero.  No sugar. I've gotten to where - other than chocolate - I steer away from sugary stuff.  Anyway... I only had one glass, but I am guessing that is the one glass that kept waking me last night.  I just checked my 'sleep rhythm' on my phone... my watch tracks my sleep.... and I do not believe it any more than I believe there is a man in the moon!  You know how I'm always telling hubby to quit basing how he feels in the morning on how many times his fitbit tells him he was awake!  Mine is showing me this morning that I was 'awake' 9 times during the night.  I knew I was awake a lot... and as I laid there awake, I realized that I had drank caffeine.  After 5PM.  Something I don't normally do.  Used to be that I could drink tea and sodas even 8-9PM - but since I drink coffee in the morning, that is usually my caffeine for the day.  Sometimes if we go to McAllister's Deli, I will drink a diet coke but it's usually noon when I do so.  Besides, when they are charging over $3.49 for a drink (and sometimes coffee too!) it is better to stick with water and not pay it.  Hubby 99% of the time will ask for raspberry tea and it irritates me if I'm paying the bill.  I find it stupid to pay that much for a drink five years ago we were paying maybe a dollar for.  The glasses haven't gotten bigger.  Just more expensive.  Ok - enough of that.

It's Wednesday and 'hump day'.  On the agenda today is work, of course, and at 5PM I have my workout at the gym.  I see I already have several work emails and I will attend to them in a bit.  Other than that, today may be fairly quiet.  Hubby has an 8AM gym time, and then he is meeting a friend for breakfast.  It will close to 11AM before he gets home.   His Bible study started back up officially yesterday so he was gone about 8:30 for that - and then out to lunch with a friend - then he stopped to pay a couple bills (he just won't pay them online but will go take a check to their location and pay it - what ever).... so didn't get home until about 1PM.  I enjoyed my quiet time, yes, although I was working.

Sorta, that is.  With one boss in Colorado (she comes back this afternoon) and the other busy, and the doctors I'm covering only had me do one thing yesterday - cancel a meeting - that it was a very quiet afternoon - and I finished a baby blanket I was working on.  Hey!  It's better than just sitting here!  Of course I could have done some work that I should do... and may work on today... but I wasn't feeling like working.  I did what needed to be done... but today I need to do more.  

Matthew 6:33 (NKJV):  "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

That is one of my favorite verses in the Bible.  Why?  Becuase it assures me that when I seek God first in ALL things, He will supply all that I need.  Always.  Forever.  And He has never disappointed me.  I was sitting here this morning and reading a couple devotionals when the words 'Holy Desperation' came to me.  And I had to stop and sit back and think about those words.

Holy Desperation. Of course I am thinking of God in this respect, and I thought about a Holy Desperation for God.  When was the last time that I sought after God with such intensity that nothing satisfied me until I found the answer?  I must confess, I think it has been awhile, and I am ashamed to admit that.  I have often, lately, prayed that God would fill me with a hunger and a passion to know Him more.  I want to just want more of Jesus.  Not just know Him, but to be passionate about Him and want to know Him more and more.

In fact, the words Holy Despseration struck me enough that I grabbed a tablet of paper and wrote down those words for a sermon title.  

Deuteronomy 4:29 (NKJV):  "But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all of your heart and with all of your soul."

When was the last time you sought God for anything?  Was it when someone was sick and you wanted them well?  Was it when you wanted a specific job and you really, really wanted it - enough to pray for it?  

When was the last time you sought God - really sought Him - just to know Him?

That is the quest I am on.  I want to know God and make Him known.  And I can't really share God if I don't really know Him, can I?  Oh yes, I read my Bible nearly daily.  But I have gotten lax in studying - and there is the difference.  Studying to know more of Him is different than just reading about Him.  Oh I know that the Bible is the best instruction book there is!  But ....  it helps to read other books to understand more about Him.  Make sense?  

When I was teaching classes, I was always studying and working on tasks to teach... and it was such a learning thing for me.  And I miss that.  I still have done a couple workbooks on my own, but I miss the interaction as well.  I haven't heard back on Discipleship nor any of the workbooks I passed on to one of the leaders of the church.  As I've mentioned before, I'm not really wanting to lead a group of women only, for I strongly feel that men should be allowed to learn as well.  Why?

Because the men are the spiritual leaders of their home - or they should be, according to God's Word - and so many men fail in that respect.  They need to learn for themselves and step up to lead their families towards Jesus.  Hubby once said that he watched me and how I changed, and that made him want to know Jesus (this was years ago).  And he studies in three different Bible studies each week.  And if he can grasp from these classes how to live for Jesus and lead like Jesus, he will be doing what he is called to do.  The wife should not be the one setting the spiritual tone in the home.  The husband is to be the spiritual leader and the head of the family.  Some friends of mine have shown what that looks like.... and it makes me wistful.  And that's all I'll say about that.

I need to get over and drive Ms. Amy's car some time today - it's been several weeks and I'm supposed to drive it fairly often.  I just don't think about it.  I need to go to the drugstore for a birthday card for my boss... perhaps I'll drive it there today.  Give me a break from work as well.  Which reminds me, I got a text the other day the daughter of Ms. Amy and her husband will be here on the 14th.  Then the movers will take the rest of the furniture they want to keep that following Thursday... and then once they are gone, it should be put up for sale.  I hope we will get some nice neighbors; perhaps a woman my age who is healthy enough to go walking when it's nice.  It would be nice to have a friend to do things with close by.  

I need to get off here and jump in the shower and get ready for today. But I will leave you with this question.....  

When was the last time you had a Holy Desperation to know God?  

Maybe it's time .....

Blessings!

I have an excuse...

 but not sure how it will 'fly'/  We went to bed a little later than usual... a little after 1AM hubby flip-flopped in bed or did something that woke me from a deep sleep - and gave me a headache.  A bad one.  I didn't sleep well after that - if at all - and when I came in here at 4AM and sat back in my chair, prepared to do my reading, hubby brought in my coffee...... and I fell back to sleep. I have slept over an hour, I think.... with my neck off the neck pillow and hanging off to the side, so now not only do I still have the headache... I have a neck ache too!  And the rest of the body will be hurting today because I went to the gym last night and my trainer 'hurt me' by making me do these exercises!  Is that enough whining this morning?  Yeah, I didn't think you'd go with those excuses too much.  Even thought they are all true.

So this may be short and 'sweet'.... I've got about 15 minutes before I need to be on the work computer and although I could 'wait' and let this be late and put something smart and creative on here (are my blogs ever smart and creative?  Don't answer that), I chose to go ahead and type something cause I didn't know if I could get back to it of not.  Now I'm rambling, huh.

I've already looked and I have over 20 emails since I clocked out at 4PM last night.  It may be a fairly busy day today - which could be a good thing.  I'm doing the court-down now.... five days until I go on vacation for a week!  4 days with my girls and then, well, I'm off a couple days here with hubby.  No, nothing is really planned.  I do have a training session that Friday morning since I had to move Monday's.  I'm going to try to make Wednesday's session when we get back.    Starting to really look forward to time off.

I'm jealous somewhat of a coworker who is on vacation this week.  I've covering for her (which may be some of the emails) this week.  She and her hubby went to Newport Beach for the week.  This is their second trip this year that I know of.  Of course they are at least twenty plus years younger than we are too.  We've never traveled.... not really.  And now, well, I have my reasons.

Hebrews 10:30-31 (NKJV):  "For we know Him who said, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. And again, "The Lord will judge His people."  It is a fearful thing to fall in the hands of the living God."

I've used that scripture a few times over the years.  Especially back in the 80's when hubby's ex took us back to court and we got stuck paying her attorney and her extra monies.... I wrote that scripture on every check I had to send.  Did it make any differnece?  Doubtful, we still had to pay it all, but I felt better by reminding them God will repay them for being so greedy and evil.  And they were.  I may have sued it another time or two.

What about you?  Have you ever thought that or did you take your vengeance out on someone yourself?  Now that's a thought!  I mean, I could want someone 'punished' for being mean to me or to someone I cared for, but I didn't want to do it myself.  

I may not have heard of anything happening to that attorney, but I do know that the ex did have her share of problems and her life did not turn out the way she thought it would.  And, enough of that.

I need to get up and grab some headache medicine to get rid of this headache and neck ache this morning - think about that scripture.  

Is there someone you are trying to get even with?  Is there someone you are so angry with that you want to beat up the person?  All you have to do is ask God to take care of it.  You may not see the results.  You may never hear of the results.  But trust me, God will take His vengeance on anyone who comes against His people.  If you are His, then He is your Warrior.  And believe me, I have used Him many times to fight my battles!

Gotta run - Hope you have a good day and got a good night's sleep!

Blessings!

It was a nice quiet day..

 After watching Jentezen Franklin at Free Chapel yesterday morning - great message, by the way, I came back in here for another couple hours and enjoyed a couple more hours of just me and Jesus.  I love the times that I can just purposefully sit down and be quiet, read my Bible, pray, and just sit at His feet.  Love those times.

Hmmm.... either I didn't... or I'm getting senile... I can't remember if I fixed us anything for lunch after I came out of this room!  Maybe we both had a shake... I don't know!  But I do know that a bit later I did decide to bake some cranberry pumpkin nut bread and made up two batches.  The first batch was in bread form, then I started playing with it... I made a half dozen 'donuts', and some cupcakes too.  I enjoyed my time cooking.  But then it came dinner time - and I didn't want to cook (obviously again), so we had TV dinners.  Oh I remember now what we ate for lunch!  I had brought home a pasta salad from the luncheon yesterday- so we each had some of that.   Then we finished off the day with something we shouldn't have even had in the house..... cherry cobbler with ice cream on top.  Oops.

Hubby watched football all afternoon - well, until after the Cardinals beat Dallas - then he turned the TV off and we both read.  As I kept falling asleep while reading (at 7PM!) I switched to audible and listened to another book while I crochet'd to stay awake.  At least I was still feeding my mind.  I slept good last night and still didn't want to get up this morning.  But I did.  Back to work today.

Hubby reminded me that one week from now I will be up in cooler territory with the 'girls'.  We leave next Sunday for our 8th Jailbreak Getaway.  And I did tell hubby I had decided to take that Thursday and Friday off too - I have the vacation time; and I know he is hoping we can do something.  Will see.  I already have a gym appointment on that Friday but can always move it. It's just hard to go places with him sometimes.  I'll have to think about it.

I John 2:1 (NKJV):  "My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous."

We all know that the devil is the accuser of us.  Can you not just picture him standing before God and telling God all of our sins?  Oh, so You think she / he is worthy to be here?  Didn't you seem them .........?? They are evil, they are mine!  But Jesus.  Jesus is our Advocate and He will turn to His Father and say "Remember the cross, Father?  Their sins were on My shoulders; their sins were covered by My sacrifice; My blood covers them."  Even now, the Blood of Jesus Christ covers us when we turn to Him and ask for His forgiveness for our sins.  He has already forgiven us, but we must also ask for forgiveness.  We must truly repent of our sins - some of us have to do it daily!  And every time, we are forgiven, because of what Jesus Christ did for us.  Hallelujah!  

The cross and Jesus' sacrifice for us does not give us permission to sin.  But if we do sin, and we confess that sin, He forgives us.

John 3:16 (NKJV):  "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

I can remember when I first learned the name of Advocate for Jesus.  I don't remember how I learned it, probably in a seminar or something, but I remember hearing that Jesus is our Advocate, our Lawyer, when we go to God and intercede for someone.  If I am interceding for my children, for example, Jesus is right there with me, being my Advocate, and interceding with me to our Father for their salvation.  It is such a good feeling to know that I am not alone in my prayers.  And neither are you.  

It may be a busy day at work today.... I see I already have 23 emails and I haven't even signed on the computer yet!  Someone has worked this weekend, for sure, and I'm hoping it isn't my boss, but others sending messages!  But I am sure there will be tasks that I will need to take care of.  I left a couple open-ended emails to external people before I signed off last Friday, so I'm sure I have their answers this morning and will need to get their meetings scheduled.  Five days until vacation - whoopie!!

So glad God declared a day of rest each week.  And I'm grateful the company gives it to us.  Although there are many who do work 7x24.... I'm grateful my position does not require it.  God knew we needed a day (or two) to refresh, renew, and to get other things done.  He's good like that. :-)

Hope that you have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Lots on the mind this morning...

 Some I may share, and some I may not.  It's Sunday and we should soon be getting ready to GO to church ... but I don't think we are.... why?  Because this one pastor is speaking who is very loud and walks back and forth across the stage talking, frequently saying 'My God!' when making a statement.  We've heard her a couple times and we just have not been able to 'connect' with the abstract message given.  I guess we are still 'old-timers' in that we like a structured message that actually teaches us something.  So when I found out she would be speaking, I did let hubby know, and he said he would stay home.  I hadn't thought any more about it until he asked me yesterday if I was going.  I guess cause as a rule unless one of us is sick, the other usually goes.... but I haven't decided yet what to do.  Actually, I DO have a reason to stay home.... I've got some kind of congestion going on this morning and I keep coughing. I think it is from getting a deep sleep last night for a change and I probably breathed shallow and now have all that gook in my lungs.  I am going to take an olive leaf extract this morning to boost up my immune system. Got a slight headache too.  But, will see as the morning goes, but will also just stay home and tell hubby I want to have an extended time here in my room.  After we watch Jentezen Franklin @ Free Chapel at 8AM anyway.  We will hear/watch a church service and know we will get something out of it.  I may go online and watch our church service .... it's not as bad as being there.  Others at the church praise her and overlook the loudness because they are also loud.... I guess....  oh well, enough of that.  She isn't on staff at our church and there are no activities that we would attend with her.  Her husband is the one in the wheel chair I spoke about several blogs ago.  And enough of that.  It's probably 'just us old folks'... but still... 

A dear friend apparently was just going through facebook last night and repulled up the photo of hubby and I on our wedding day and commented on it. A photo that I posted several years ago for our anniversary and probalby reposted as it came up in memories this year.  Anyway - it was 'out there' again so people were starting to comment on it once again.  Several relatives made a comment, which is weird caues the photo is 41 years old, but a great nephew also commented on it, and then went to messenger and started messaging me.  We probably chatted over an hour back and forth on messenger about different things.  I have never met this great nephew.  His grandpa was my older brother.  I"m not sure if he has a disability or if it is just the way he was raised.... has a single mom who had a total of 3 children, never married, each with a different father.  His mother and I have chatted infrequently over the years.... she isn't one to want to keep contact with any of her dad's family (only child) and I would say it is because her parents were divorced and her mother kept her away from us.... plus we probably were wrapped up in our own worlds and didn't reach out.  Although I do know for a fact that the brother just older than I has reached out to her numerous times.  He even made arrangements to give her a large TV he was getting rid of, and other times invited her over for a cookout or even to a restaurant.  She stops responding and never gets back to him.  Now, she has responded back to me a few times, not that I am anyone special.... but if I text her, she will respond, as a rule.  I can remember when she was a little one, before her parents divorced.  

In fact, when I was in my senior year of high school - back then we made  what we called 'senior skirts (or pants for the guys) and they were in the gold cordrouy color.  We would wear them and carry a fabric marker and people would write on our skirts or the guys pants (girls were not allowed to wear pants and definitely not shorts to school) and we'd write things like 'Seniors rule' and sign our name or some other short comment.  I made my senior skirt, and I took the leftover material and made little two year old Debbie a dress out of it - a 'senior dress' of sorts.  I think I even wrote on it.  Oh the memories.

Anyway, I chatted for a great length of time with this great nephew.  Interesting conversation.  Did find out he was a bookworm, he loves Narnia and has a lightsaber... likes Harry Potter and has a couple wands.... his lightsaber changes color... he's 25... lives at home, doesn't work, didn't finish school, abused by his father (when he had to go see him)... sounds like a lonely, sad, mixed up kid and really needs a friend.  But I'm also leery of being drawn in to things.... if that makes sense.  It was a good conversation.  Another to add to my prayer list...  

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV):  "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own undersanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path."

How many times do we forge out and try to do things our own way - and we either fail, struggle, or we may even succeed after a long haul?  I know so many times I just jump in because it is 'the right thing to do' and do it... but I find out later that I have regrets because it wasn't what God wanted me to do.  Sometimes I am NOT to be the answer to someone's problem or issue; someone else is to be their answer.  Has that ever happened to you?

You believe in God, you are following Him the best way you know how... and a situation happens and someone needs your help.  Thinking it must be God telling you that you need to step up, you do, and later find out that you probalby shouldn't have done that.   Sometimes we are not the answer to someone else's problem.  So what do we do?  

We need to confess to God that we overstepped our boundary... although what we did was good, it was not our position to do so, although we thought God would want us to. When we do things like that, we remove the blessing from other people getting to help that person.  Does any of that make sense?  I'm getting a headache this morning for some reason and I guess I'm not thinking clearly.  Plus I'm watching the clock for it is nearly time to watch 'church' with Free Chapel.

I went to the ladies luncheon yesterday at our church.  It was somewhat awkward for me... I am not sure how else to describe it.  I just didn't feel connected for some reason.  Lots of people, some I knew, I met many others... it went well... I just found myself thinking I should have stayed home.  The enemy telling me that?  Perhaps.  It was just weird.  But I did stay and I did meet a lot of people.  I'm just not a big women's group person I guess and there were about 30 women there.  

And with that, I need to jump off and bring up 'church' so we can watch it this morning.  Then I think I'll tell hubby I'm coming back in here for a couple hours.  We slept in until (GASP!) nearly 6AM this morning - I must have been totally exhausted physically yesterday.

Blessings!

Gonna be a busy morning!

 After I finish writing this, I need to get up and start fixing a dessert to take to our ladies luncheon we are having at church.  Plus, I will be helping set up so need to leave about an hour earlier than normal, too.  Yeah, this is the luncheon that I prepared for LAST month, and I get to do it again.  I debated on what to take; did I want to make the same stuff as last month?  It doesn't really matter, the people it was for didn't get it anyway last month since there wasn't a ladies luncheon.  So, yes, I did make deviled eggs last night, and I plan to make the cherry cobbler in the crockpot this morning.  At least it won't be a lot of work; just dumping everything in the crockpot and turning it on high for 2 hours.  The eggs I just have to put together.

I actually slept good last night and did sleep until about 5AM this morning.  Grateful for that.  I was getting pretty worn down.  Even though yesterday was a nice breakfast with my boss, then took my time driving back home (no strawberry rhubarb pie in the case) and back to work.  Boiled the eggs late afternoon and that was my day.

One more week and I leave for our Jailbreak Getaway!  I am so ready for a total break from life and just have fun.  Especially getting away from work stuff.  One of my bosses is off all that week, and the other big boss is only taking Thursday off that week - so I gave it some thought - and I am taking the entire week off instead of just the three days!  Yeah, I put in for it and it was approved.  Now, what am I going to do that Thursday and Friday?  I have no idea, other than I have a training appointment on that Friday.  Maybe if I can get my training moved to Thursday, hubby and I can take off for the weekend.  Which will cost me money... and where to go...  I have a couple ideas but for now will keep to myself while I ponder what I want to do. 

Ever sit back and think over your childhood and realize that maybe your viewpoint of life at that time may not be true?  Everyone's perception is so different.  Yeah, even mine.....apparently.  Correspondence with my little sister (started by her) showed me that what I believed (and still do) about family relationships just wasn't true.  Her perception of close family relationships is totally different than mine.  Of course in her eyes, I wasn't close to any of my siblings.... but she was.  After reading the last lengthy text of things SHE did for the siblings ..... I began to wonder if I existed in her family.  I know, haha.  I chose, after reading it a couple times, to just say 'OK'.  I decided I'm done with that conversation.  She even brought our youngest half brother into the picture with how close they were after I moved out.... and just because he lived with us for awhile, didn't mean we were close.  'OK'.  I'm not going to argue.  The things she doesn't know doesn'thurt her, right?  

Romans 5:3-4 (NKJV):  "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perservance; and perservance, character, and character, hope."

I had to chuckle when I read that scripture this morning.  Tribulations?  Is what I've been dealing with a tribulation?  My character has been attacked for years.... but I can tell you that all that I've been through for years, one thing (in my mind) stands out to me, I have remained firm in my walk with Jesus.  I know back in 2013 I got shaky... not in my walk with Jesus, but because of accusations and things said, I wanted to walk away from ministry.  If those things said were true, how could I share the love of Jesus with others?  As I prayed about it... God showed me that jealousy and anger in others is an ugly thing and for me to ignore those things said and to hold myself to a higher standard.  It hasn't been easy for those words attack me periodically, and I have to tell myself again and again that I am a child of God, I belong to Him, and if I am doing something wrong, He will point it out to me.... not anyone else in their own opinion.  Tribulations are hard; and yes, they do produce perservance because we have to keep pressing in to what we believe is true.  And we all know the Word of God is true and it will never fail us.  It has never failed us, and will never fail us.  I pray that through all these tribulations I go through that I have learned character becoming as an example of my Jesus, because it is in Him that I have Hope.

Hope for what?  Hope for life everlasting with Him.  I often pray that God will just take me up in the clouds like Elijah or Enoch.  I want to walk so close with Him like Enoch that poof!  One day I'm gone without a trace.  But, guess I have to wait for that trumpet sound of our Lord's return and be lifted in to the sky with many, many others, being pulled up to heaven with Him.  I certainly don't want to be left behind and have to go through  the tribulations everyone else will have to go through!  I grieve for my great grandchildren and their children and their children.... for we know not when Jesus will return to call His own to Him.... and I pray over each one even unborn at this time.... that they will know Him and be ready to endure until the end of time.  Will you be ready?  Are you making sure your children and grandchildren will be ready at the sound of the trumpet? 

Ah...just glanced at the clock and I need to get the dessert on and then hit the shower.  Oh the things I must do to make myself presentable to the world!  Showering is a necessity; makeup an addition.  Although I could go without makeup and no one would even notice... I just don't wear that much.  Except eye shadow... if I wear it, they know I have makeup on.  (Not a lot, but it's color)   So - with all my rambling this morning, I'm going to hush.  Hope that you have an amazing day.  Look for God in the little things of life - the flowers that are blooming, the warmth of the sun, the scent of rain (if you are lucky enough to have that)... life is all about Jesus.  Pause and just tell Him 'Thank You' this morning for life.  Give Him praise.

Blessings!