I rarely drink soda anymore. I really do prefer my water, but occasionally I will drink ice tea or hot tea as well. Last night while out with my daughter for our 'girls night out', we went to a deli and I decided to have a soda. I got Coke Zero. No sugar. I've gotten to where - other than chocolate - I steer away from sugary stuff. Anyway... I only had one glass, but I am guessing that is the one glass that kept waking me last night. I just checked my 'sleep rhythm' on my phone... my watch tracks my sleep.... and I do not believe it any more than I believe there is a man in the moon! You know how I'm always telling hubby to quit basing how he feels in the morning on how many times his fitbit tells him he was awake! Mine is showing me this morning that I was 'awake' 9 times during the night. I knew I was awake a lot... and as I laid there awake, I realized that I had drank caffeine. After 5PM. Something I don't normally do. Used to be that I could drink tea and sodas even 8-9PM - but since I drink coffee in the morning, that is usually my caffeine for the day. Sometimes if we go to McAllister's Deli, I will drink a diet coke but it's usually noon when I do so. Besides, when they are charging over $3.49 for a drink (and sometimes coffee too!) it is better to stick with water and not pay it. Hubby 99% of the time will ask for raspberry tea and it irritates me if I'm paying the bill. I find it stupid to pay that much for a drink five years ago we were paying maybe a dollar for. The glasses haven't gotten bigger. Just more expensive. Ok - enough of that.
It's Wednesday and 'hump day'. On the agenda today is work, of course, and at 5PM I have my workout at the gym. I see I already have several work emails and I will attend to them in a bit. Other than that, today may be fairly quiet. Hubby has an 8AM gym time, and then he is meeting a friend for breakfast. It will close to 11AM before he gets home. His Bible study started back up officially yesterday so he was gone about 8:30 for that - and then out to lunch with a friend - then he stopped to pay a couple bills (he just won't pay them online but will go take a check to their location and pay it - what ever).... so didn't get home until about 1PM. I enjoyed my quiet time, yes, although I was working.
Sorta, that is. With one boss in Colorado (she comes back this afternoon) and the other busy, and the doctors I'm covering only had me do one thing yesterday - cancel a meeting - that it was a very quiet afternoon - and I finished a baby blanket I was working on. Hey! It's better than just sitting here! Of course I could have done some work that I should do... and may work on today... but I wasn't feeling like working. I did what needed to be done... but today I need to do more.
Matthew 6:33 (NKJV): "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."
That is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Why? Becuase it assures me that when I seek God first in ALL things, He will supply all that I need. Always. Forever. And He has never disappointed me. I was sitting here this morning and reading a couple devotionals when the words 'Holy Desperation' came to me. And I had to stop and sit back and think about those words.
Holy Desperation. Of course I am thinking of God in this respect, and I thought about a Holy Desperation for God. When was the last time that I sought after God with such intensity that nothing satisfied me until I found the answer? I must confess, I think it has been awhile, and I am ashamed to admit that. I have often, lately, prayed that God would fill me with a hunger and a passion to know Him more. I want to just want more of Jesus. Not just know Him, but to be passionate about Him and want to know Him more and more.
In fact, the words Holy Despseration struck me enough that I grabbed a tablet of paper and wrote down those words for a sermon title.
Deuteronomy 4:29 (NKJV): "But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all of your heart and with all of your soul."
When was the last time you sought God for anything? Was it when someone was sick and you wanted them well? Was it when you wanted a specific job and you really, really wanted it - enough to pray for it?
When was the last time you sought God - really sought Him - just to know Him?
That is the quest I am on. I want to know God and make Him known. And I can't really share God if I don't really know Him, can I? Oh yes, I read my Bible nearly daily. But I have gotten lax in studying - and there is the difference. Studying to know more of Him is different than just reading about Him. Oh I know that the Bible is the best instruction book there is! But .... it helps to read other books to understand more about Him. Make sense?
When I was teaching classes, I was always studying and working on tasks to teach... and it was such a learning thing for me. And I miss that. I still have done a couple workbooks on my own, but I miss the interaction as well. I haven't heard back on Discipleship nor any of the workbooks I passed on to one of the leaders of the church. As I've mentioned before, I'm not really wanting to lead a group of women only, for I strongly feel that men should be allowed to learn as well. Why?
Because the men are the spiritual leaders of their home - or they should be, according to God's Word - and so many men fail in that respect. They need to learn for themselves and step up to lead their families towards Jesus. Hubby once said that he watched me and how I changed, and that made him want to know Jesus (this was years ago). And he studies in three different Bible studies each week. And if he can grasp from these classes how to live for Jesus and lead like Jesus, he will be doing what he is called to do. The wife should not be the one setting the spiritual tone in the home. The husband is to be the spiritual leader and the head of the family. Some friends of mine have shown what that looks like.... and it makes me wistful. And that's all I'll say about that.
I need to get over and drive Ms. Amy's car some time today - it's been several weeks and I'm supposed to drive it fairly often. I just don't think about it. I need to go to the drugstore for a birthday card for my boss... perhaps I'll drive it there today. Give me a break from work as well. Which reminds me, I got a text the other day the daughter of Ms. Amy and her husband will be here on the 14th. Then the movers will take the rest of the furniture they want to keep that following Thursday... and then once they are gone, it should be put up for sale. I hope we will get some nice neighbors; perhaps a woman my age who is healthy enough to go walking when it's nice. It would be nice to have a friend to do things with close by.
I need to get off here and jump in the shower and get ready for today. But I will leave you with this question.....
When was the last time you had a Holy Desperation to know God?
Maybe it's time .....
Blessings!
