A new day.....

 Today is a new day, for which I am grateful.  I am feeling better today.  I was physically and mentally exhausted last night and was in bed by 8PM - and slept until about 2:15 AM, saw I didn't have to get up yet, and slept until the alarm went off.  And could have slept longer.  But I feel much more rested than I did yesterday, for sure.

We went over to my daughter's last night and I stopped and picked up a cake to go with a small gift.  Yesterday was her 19th BMT birthday.  It's hard to believe that it has been that long since she had her bone marrow transplant.  I am so grateful to God that He let her live and continues to watch over her.  She has gotten to see her children grow up and to even see grandbabies.  God is good.

We also saw the nephew last night who is currently at their house.  They went over and picked up his personal items, but he had to leave his bird and his dog at the youngest son's house.  I think that is funny because 'she' hates the animals and is angry because he can't take them.  My youngest son told her that 'you kicked him out and started this, so yes, we have to take care of them'.  They will have to stay there until the nephew finds his own place.  I don't expect that to happen until he has his court date, which I expect will be the end of this month.  He didn't seem to know.

Part of me is concerned about the nephew, and yet, another part feels cautious.  I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I have already caught him in a lie, I think.  He told me he had only had 4 shots of booze that night.... when I mentioned it to my youngest son, he said no, he was drinking everclear from a tumbler, not a shot glass.   I'm no judge.... but I didn't ask for the information, so why lie to me.  That in itself has raised a flag and now I'm a bit more cautious of what I hear from him.   He did seem in good spirits last night.  I don't know if he really realizes the seriousness of this situation.  But then, others are 'taking care of him' and he doesn't have to sleep on the street.  Others are taking care of his animals.  I don't know.  I'm just feeling cautious.

I cannot judge anyone.  It isn't my place.  I did talk to my youngest son yesterday and he wasn't too concerned about details, it seems.  Yes, I told him he needed to divorce this person.  She is destroying him and everyone else of his family.  He doesn't see it.  He tells her no one in his family wants anything to do with her - and she doesn't care.  She wants him and her son to herself.  She cares about no one else.  All I can do is pray for God's intervention into each of their lives.

Chatted with my favorite boss yesterday for a bit and we both shared our weekends.  Her hubby took her away for her birthday and they had a great time.  They discussed her retiring.  She's 10 years younger than I and they could probably handle it easily enough.  If she retires, I will certainly consider leaving and finding another place closer to home that is a lot less stressful.  Today our big boss will be back and I am sure I will find numerous emails for meetings and other things she wants done.  It is a very stressful job and I don't always find enjoyment in it.  But then, not everyone does.  I couldn't just not work because I couldn't stay home and sit all day.  I have to volunteer or do something.

As I sit here I ponder how and if God will work in this current situation going on.  How I wish the youngest son will give up his games, his drinking.  He was already planning to drink himself into a stupor last night.  If 'she' drives him to drink like that, why stay with her?  It makes no sense whatsoever.  I think it all boils down to he doesn't want to be 'alone'.  But, technically he is alone.  He isolates himself by his behavior and his drinking.  And that is what hurts, and what makes me angry.  He has so much more potential than what he gives himself.   He could do so much more if he would just think about it and decide to do it. 

I do know that I can not do anything about it.  It definitely isn't in my power to do anything.  When one loves oneself, they are what they think about, no one else.  So I do the best thing I know to do.  I put this situation, in God's hands.   He is fighting against God, not against me or anything he has been taught.  So God, this one's for you!  I can't help him.  I take my hands off.  He's all Yours.  Help him find his way back to You.  

But at least, currently, he and she aren't posting all their details on facebook.  We always know something is going on when she posts 'please pray for my family, god knows'.  Yeah, little g.  She doesn't know that God is a Big G. :-)  He's not someone who is only available when she wants Him.  Or when she wants to pretend she knows Him.  God is in control of all things.  And that is a Big G.

Take care!  Rambling is over.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.

So.Much.Drama

Us girls had a great weekend, finishing up early yesterday morning.  We really didn't do that much because not much was open and shopping wasn't in our thoughts that much.  We did go to Walmart and pick up baby clothes for little Paisley as she doesn't have many clothes.  And picked up blueberry muffins and juice for breakfast.    We did our nails and toes ourselves.  We played Yahtzee.  They played on their phones and I read a book.

It was a nice restful weekend.

That all ended when we got home.  Rather, when my daughter went to drop off her niece.  Drama was going on at the son's place.  Not going to go into details.  I'm angry.  I'm disappointed.  I'm hurting for my nephew.  I place the blame where the blame is due.  

It really put a damper on the nice quiet, restful weekend.  Hubby and I watched two movies after I got home.  I crocheted.  Sheeba was happy to see me.  Hubby said she ran to every room in the mornings looking for me.  She was wound up most of the day yesterday because I was back home.

I didn't sleep well last night as I kept going through what I had heard in my mind.    And today, I must get back to work and catch up on what I didn't get done on Friday because I wanted to take off early.

Oh Friday - I will have to check to see if I had shared what happened Friday morning as I was going to work.  I need to stop now and get dressed so that I can take Sheeba for a walk this morning.  God and I need to talk - although I have been talking with Him all night in my heart and mind, I need to talk through some things.

I'm not angry.  I'm not unforgiving.  I just placed the blame where I felt the root started.  THAT person is having an issue with getting the blame.  She thinks she is a hero for saving my son.  He didn't need saving, it's all a game to him.  He plays her.  And he plays everyone else.  When he called me yesterday after hearing I knew what had happened, he laughed.  He said he stayed up until 5AM and then slept and was feeling great.  He should get discharged today from the mental facility they took him to.  It's all a game to him.  

I probably would not have known about it had not my daughter taken the granddaughter home while this last episode was taking place.  All because of 'HER'.  The granddaughter had a meltdown.  I could hear her crying in the background to where she could hardly get her breath.  She called her mom, then her brother.  So that's how I know about it.

Who knows how many times this has happened in the past and we didn't know because we didn't happen on the scene.  I hate playing games.

One of these times he is going to get burnt really bad.  And so will she.

I have been praying, and will continue to pray.  Hubby says 'she' is not allowed at our house anymore.  She hasn't been here yet so it hasn't been a problem.  I asked him how that felt to say that as a Christian.  He just looked at me.  Yes, I want to shut the door in her face.  She has created such havoc in this family.  But I can't shut the door as a Christian.  

So what does one do in this circumstance?  I don't have to like what she does, but I am called to love her and forgive her actions.  Even when she thinks she is the victim.

Lord help me, cause I certainly can not do this on my own.

I read a book......

 I did.  While I have been away this weekend with my girls, I have also read a book!  It was one of those that you get caught up in and just can't put it down - except when you have to. It's a book written by a friend of mind.  She has started writing books and this is one of a new series that she has done.  It is called "Relentless  Heart".  Besides the fact that it is a story with characters in it that you become intrigued with, it is written in the time from of the late 60's, a time when I was in high school, graduating, and getting married, and sending my man off to a war.

The book tells of a time in Viet Nam, TET, and personalized through the characters some of the actual happenings.  Some of the characters are real.  I remember when some of the incidents happened.  

So when I finished the book last night, I couldn't believe it was 10:30PM!  I started teh book Friday evening when everyone was in bed and they play games on their phones.  I grabbed my kindle to play my WWF games and then jumped to my books.  I read for about an hour then put it down.  Good start.  

Yesterday was a fun day.  We girls ate breakfast in our room of blueberry muffins that we had purchased the night before at Walmart.  Very disappointed that we don't have breakfast at the hotel anymore, but it is what it is.  Thank you Covid.  We hung around the room until about 11:30AM, me reading, them playing games on their phones.  

Daughter got us tickets to go see a movie.  "Heaven".  It just came out yesterday.  Daughter thought that I would enjoy it.  Don't.bother.going.to.see.it.   It started off ok, but there were times it would 'flash back' to another scene, and that was ok, but often it did it more than once.  It was hard to follow and all three of us - two of us knowing what is in the Bible - found this very mixed up.  I will tell of one part.... at the end, when 'all those in Christ shall rise to Heaven', it was a scene of cars crashing - which will probably happen, but it showed a couple bloody people from an accident, (and the main character was an EMT) and we were expecting him to go take care of them.  Instead, it was like an atomic cloud was shown over the city and a loud noise like a low siren going off (was that to portray a trumpet?) and they are holding their ears....and he goes back to being with Jesus.  It was just very confusing for me, and if a non-believer went to see it, I am sad at what they may get from it.

One positive may be that the Bible was shown a few times and was told it was the 'Road Map' to follow in life.  And IT IS.  Don't get me wrong.  If you follow the Bible, you can't go wrong.  Everything you do will profit you, (maybe not financially, but you will know you are doing the right thing) and God will pour His blessings out on you.  God is so good.  All He wants is US.  

It isn't easy to follow God's commandments given us thousands of years ago.  There are some that are pretty easy to follow.... Thou shalt not steal.  Thou shalt not kill.  Thou shalt now covet your neighbor's wife..... but there is one that can get people even when they don't realize it has happened.  'Thou shalt not make any graven images'.... does that one sound familiar?

What does not mean?  It means we are not to have any thing that comes before God.  I know, but it says 'make any graven images', right?  So I'm not to make something?  

We do that, you know.  We 'make' lots of money and then our desire is make more.  Money in itself isnot bad, we need it to survive in this world.  But it is when it becomes our focus.  More money. More things to buy.  Oh yeah, that is another one.  When we buy something (or want to get something) that is our focus, it takes our focus off God and it becomes our god.  Yeah, little g.

For some people it could be a tv show.  They can't miss it.  They look forward to it.  'Oh I just enjoy watching it they say,', but it's all they think about about and talk about.  For others it may be their families, or the jobs.  'I've got my dream job', this is all I've ever wanted to do'.  And that's ok.  But does it come before God?

I often have to sit back and evaluate where I place people and things.  I love people; I love my family, but do I put them before God?  I enjoy my job (at times) and love my boss... do I put it before God?  I enjoy doing activities.  Do I put them before reading my Bible, going to church?  Have I made them my God?

When I was growing up you didn't have games on Wednesdays nor Sunday mornings, those were times that were dedicated to God.  When 'they' started having games on Sunday, men and women alike, and then the families of these men and women, would stay home to watch the game on TV, instead of giving that time to God.  Wednesday nights used to be church - a time of study and learning more about how awesome and good God is and all that He wants to do in our lives - and again, it was stripped away when school games required practice on a Wednesday night.

I think you get the picture.  When we allowed people to entice us with the things we enjoyed - or our children enjoyed, and we began putting them before time with God, before worship, those things became our idols, and as they say, our nation 'went to hell in a handbasket'.   We have children who do not know God.  They have no desire to understand who He is and how much He loves them.  And we have failed as parents and grandparents to teach them.

I will leave you with a couple thoughts- what do you have that you have put before God, that is your idol?  What controls your life?  What do your children see in you, that would make them want to follow Jesus?   That is your main job in life.  To teach your children to walk with Jesus.  Have you succeeded?  Who is Jesus to you?

Just think - all this from reading a book and watching a movie. LOL

Blessings!

Fun Weekend in progress!

 My daughter and I have taken my youngest granddaughter - who is 15 - away for the weekend.  We are still in town, but staying at a hotel not far from where I live.  I slept well, as did the granddaughter.  My daughter is used to a sleep number bed (seriously, they can number those?) and said she didn't sleep as well.  Sorry about that!

Last night we went out to dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse.  I can't remember the last time we were at one - seriously.  And, looking at the prices, I can understand why it hasn't been a priority for us to go there.  BUT - with that being said, my daughter and I split a meal and the meat was so tender and juicy and cooked exactly the way I wanted it.  I couldn't even eat all of my baked potato.  It was very good.    I would entertain the thought of going back.  We let Hailey pick dessert and we had strawberry shortcake.  If it had been up to me, it would have been the chocolate stampede or the hot molten lava cake. :-)  

I can't believe the granddaughter likes Milk Chocolate chocolate.... and not DARK Chocolate.  I asked if she was my granddaughter.  My daughter also likes the milk chocolate.  sigh.  why bother even calling it chocolate.

We have so much candy it is unbelievable.  Now I do not as a rule buy candy.  I just don't - but when I do, it is what I enjoy and I only get a small amount so it is gone quickly.  We have peanut M&Ms because my daughter heard Hailey and I talking we both liked peanut M&Ms.  We have the pumpkin 'corn'  you know- the pure sugar that is formed into pumpkin instead of candy corn.  We have the dark chocolate kit kat bar.  We have caramels, we have M & Ms.... I'm sure there is more up there but that's enough to give you a picture.  

We did buy blueberry muffins for breakfast since the hotel is not serving breakfast.  We may eat an early lunch, but I just don't like getting up, having to get dressed, and going out for breakfast in the mornings.  I like taking my time, drinking a good cup of coffee, and chilling a bit before heading out.

We let the granddaughter sleep in until 7:30AM before turning on the light.  She said she had been awake for awhile - I read several chapters in a book I'm reading cause I couldn't get the computer to come up.  There is a little check box on the 'free access' for this hotel and I never saw it.  I kept trying to connect and couldn't.  Otherwise this would have been written 3 hours ago.  Yeah, I was awake early.  But, I did sleep good.  Haven't been alone in a bed for a long time.

Today's agenda is still somewhat unsettled.  We have thrown out some ideas and not settled anything.  It's only 8:30 so not much is open right now anyway.  I'm sure shopping is in our future.  I have already started on my Christmas shopping.  I have to.  But it will be smaller this year.  Yes, it will.  

I laid in bed this morning before getting up, waiting on the others to wake up, and thought about how good God is.  Have you ever done that?  He has provided so much for us, and He blesses us all the time.  I'm hoping to share some of that this weekend with our granddaughter.  It breaks my heart she doesn't believe in God.  Of course she wasn't raised in church so she hasn't learned how to depend on Him.  And yet, another granddaughter crushes my heart by her statement of 'I don't believe there is a God because he didn't answer my prayer'.  God does things on His timetable, not ours.  Many of us older folks know that.  We've been through a lot.

We can't quit believing in God.  He knows what is best for us - even when we fight against Him.  He allows circumstances to happen even when we think it wrong.  He doesn't act when we demand that He does.  He does it His way, in His timing.

I'm willing to wait on His timing, aren't you?

It takes one....

 and that 'one' could be you!  Are you willing to be the 'one' who makes a difference to someone?

That is what is on my mind this morning.  I'm struggling to stay awake; it is cool this morning and I'm snuggled down in my chair with my prayer shawl wrapped around my shoulders and my comfy blanket wrapped round my legs -  as I am most mornings.  It's 4:30AM and I didn't sleep well last night (awake at 2AM and then dozed off and on it seems until 4AM.

But what is keeping me going rather than curling up and taking another nap?  Several things, actually.  For 'one', I want to write what is on my mind this morning.  And another 'one', I get to meet my boss this morning at our former office (56 miles away!) and I want to leave by 6AM.  Which means I can't stay here in my room until 6AM to get up and go walk Sheeba. No, poor Sheeba isn't getting walked this morning, I'm afraid.  It will be like this when I start heading back to work.  Back on my old schedule of up at 4AM, stop at 5AM, out the door at 6AM and get to work by 7AM.

There is a poem that goes like this:

I am only one

But still I am one

I cannot do everything,

But still I can do something;

And because I cannot do everything

I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

----- Edward Everett Hale

Putting all your excuses aside, what is something that you can do today?

Think about Queen Esther who was the one who was promoted to royalty - and because she knew she was there for 'such a time as this', she went before the king and saved the Jews from being wiped out due to trickery by the evil Haman.

Think about Martin Luther King, who stood for what is called the 'civil rights movement' and made a difference for so many people.

Think about Martin Luther, who was tired of preachers having the Bibles chained to their podiums and speaking in Latin so that people could not understand the Word.... and standing up to make a change that we today can have our own Bibles to read in our own language, and have a choice of where we go to church.  

What about Abraham?  Moses? Elijah? Elisha? ...... what about Jesus?  ONE person who made a difference.   What about the ONE lamb that the shepherd lost and went and found?  The power of ONE.

Hubby brought me a cup of coffee this morning, as he usually does.  He doesn't have to get up when I do at 4AM. There is no reason for him to get up that early.  But he does, to make me coffee while I do my quiet time.  He's the only ONE who does that.

Lately, Sheeba hasn't been walked, unless I walk her, which makes me the only ONE who can make a difference in this dog's life.

Since I don't have a lot of time this morning, I won't make this lengthy, but I think you understand what I am saying.

It's not all about YOU.  It only takes ONE to make a difference in someone's life.  ONE who will make that phone call to check on someone you care about.  ONE who will stop what they are doing - to help someone who is struggling.  ONE who will listen, and not say a word, but give of their time to show they care.

and it only takes ONE to be you.  You were created for 'such a time as this'  Are you through with making excuses?  What are you going to do to make a difference today?

It's up to you.

Only you.

One.

It Takes Faith....

What I am going to write about this morning suddenly just came to me.  I wonder if I can articulate the right words to say what I want to say.  Here I am this morning, reading in my devotional, and reading Hebrews 11 in my Bible.  I lay my head back and close my eyes, and begin to pray.  I am thinking of all those who have gone before us.  I think of what faith is defined as.

Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Those who have gone before us - by faith, believed in what they could not see.  It is said of Moses, that by faith he chose to suffer affliction with the people of God rather than enjoy the passing pleasures of sin by being called the son of the Pharaoh's daughter, for he looked to the reward.  By faith, he forsook Egypt, for he endured as seeing Him who is invisible.  By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, lest He who destroyed the firstborn of the Egyptians should touch them.  And by faith, they passed through the Red Sea as by dry land, whereas the Egyptians, when attempting to do so, were drowned.

Many, many, who came after Moses - and even before - by faith, stood firm.  Many were tortured for their faith.  They didn't accept deliverance because they knew that by faith, something was better.  They endured being sawed in two, torture, mockings, scourgings, imprisionment.  They endured so much, because they had the faith that something better was coming.  

I think of stories I have read - especially in China even today - that people are beaten, tortured, and killed for their belief and faith in Christ.  I recall one story that touched me of a young missionary couple who left their newborn child with others, and walked to their death because of their belief in Christ.

Could you do that?  Could I do that?  Is my faith that strong that I could walk away from everything and hold Christ and my belief in Him, higher than my desire to live?   It's easy to say yes, I can.  I have always had strong faith.  But when it comes down to it, could I?  Could you?

I guess I'm also thinking about faith as I had a chance to see my daughter-in-love yesterday for a few moments.  I had hoped to take the family out to dinner last night, but it didn't work out.  Hubby and I were going to go ahead to dinner so stopped by their place as I had a small gift for her.  It was 'just' a t-shirt, with the word 'faith' on the front of it.  I wanted to encourage her to have faith that God was going before her, that He would prepare where she was to go.

But before she even opened the bag, as we were talking, she tells me this.  "God had to kick me out of the place by the seat of my pants because it was time for me to leave.  I knew I wasn't where I needed to be, but it was where I was and I was comfortable."  (all my words, but the general meaning is there)  I recognized those words because I have used them before.

Sometimes God has to shut the door, so that He can open a window for us.  

It is faith in the unknown, no matter how long it takes, that will overcome any fear or dread.    Yes, sometimes we jump the gun and mess things up, but God always has something better for us.

It caused me to think of the company I left several years ago.  I wouldn't have left had God not opened a door for me.  Twice we left a church we were on staff at because God made it clear 'it was time' for us to leave.  We were happy there, but it wasn't about us.  It was about being obedient, and when we didn't act fast enough, He made us uncomfortable so that we did.  We left a church we had been in over 30 years and loved the people dearly, but God had shown us we were to leave, and we chose to stay because of the people.  So He made it clear we were to leave.  It took us two years to make that move.  Yes, we have often second-guessed ourselves because of the love of the people, but God had made it clear then we were to leave, and we have not been given permission to go back.

It takes faith to believe that God has something better for you.  How can I be so sure it is 'better'?  Because God loves us so much that He will always give us something better.  Circumstances may get hard, we may second guess ourselves in doing what we believe God tells us to do, but He always gives us something better.  It isn't always the means, it is the end result.

How is your faith holding up?  Do you believe that you will get through this tough time you are going through?  Do you see that light at the end of the tunnel?  Do you know that you know that you know - that 'this too shall pass'?

Life may be uncertain and the future confusing right now, but there is One who is walking you through this journey.  Lean into Him.  Trust Him.  Believe in what you cannot see right now.

Have faith.

Blessings!

Short and Sweet

 Don't have much to share today.... I actually did write a fairly long post a little bit ago, but decided to leave it in draft mode cause it was so boring.  I know, what is the difference between this one and others, huh?  But, I decided to just leave it as it is for the moment.  

Got to meet up with a co-worker yesterday for lunch and that was fun.  What was really fun is that with walking Sheeba every morning I have managed to keep my weight down.  She has gained weight.  Oh we women notice those things!  LOL  It was so good to see her and spend an hour with her.  She is the one who always had candy at her desk and I was always raiding the dish.  I mean she had the good stuff too.  I have missed her.  She will continue to work from home in January while I will have to go to the office.

Today is the last of September - where has the month gone?  Where has the year gone?  So many have made jokes about Christmas being right around the corner, and so it is.  I've already started buying a few things but it will have to be small this year.  Too much going on and I'm doing 99.9% of my shopping online which means I'm not getting the good deals but paying full price.

Today will be a busy day as I have some things I need to get done.  Friday I will be driving down to Mesa to meet up with one of my bosses to catch up on life.  And work, of course.  I'll help her clean out her office and pick up the rest of whatever I have.  That will probably be my last trip there - the next one will be to the Central office down down.  Still have mixed emotions.

I've gotten used to walking Sheeba, and she won't get those walks once I'm working downtown.  For some reason hubby just won't walk her.  Don't understand that - she is his dog.  He told someone recently that 'he' bought me the dog so that I'd have someone to walk with.   Really?

Ok - enough of that and I need to get out of my jammies and into clothes as it is 6AM and I need to get ready to walk her.  Got to get on the computer by 7AM (ok, 7-ish).   Budget talks today for 4 of the people I support so their stress levels are over the top.  In person is always much better for these meetings, but trying to do it virtually is very hard, I'm sure.  Hope they get all they want.  Glad I'm not involved in it.

Hope I haven't bored you today - not too much to share - maybe tomorrow. :-)

Have a great day!