Relationships.... you gotta work at them.

Been reading a book by John Maxwell, Winning with People.

It's an interesting and informative book, and today I read part of the chapter he titled 'The Gardening Principle'. In it he talks about six things that one needs to do in order to cultivate a relationship - rather it be a spouse, your family, siblings, people around you. As a rule, you want healthy relationships around you. But healthy relationships take work. They also take:

Commitment. The 'C' word. John Maxwell says that every long-lasting relationship suffers strains and setbacks. And no two people agree on everything. Even the best friendships can expect to face conflict. The question is, What are you going to do when trouble comes? How committed are you? Are you more dedicated to maintaining the relationship or to avoiding conflict? Your answer just might determine whether your relationship is lifelong or merely temporary.

Communication. The BIG 'C" word. Relationships begin with communication. Sometimes a spark easily ignites a friendship. It deepens with more communication. It is sustained with intentional communication. Author Sydney J. Harris belives that "it is impossible to learn anything important about anyone until we get him or her to disagree with us; it is only in contradiction that character is disclosed."

Friendship. Critic Samuel Johnson remarked, “If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone; a man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair.” That goes for old friendships as well as new ones. I think we sometimes take for granted the people closest to us, and as a result, we neglect to try being good friends to them first.

Memories. Shared memories are a wonderful source of connection and bonding for people. When you see or talk to someone you haven't seen in many years, what helps you to reconnect almost instantly? It's the memories of your shared experiences.

Growth. When you begin any friendship, it is filled with promise. But you have to find ways to keep it fresh and strong so that it continues to have potential and not just good memories. One way to do that is to grow together.

Spoiling each other. You can't go wrong spoiling anyone - except perhaps your children. And even that is hard not to do. Try to extend small kindnesses to your friends all the time. Spoil your spouse. And don't forget the grandchildren! :-)

Let your friends and family members know how much you care as often as you can. Don't end up living with regrets when they are gone and you haven't told them.

So there you have it. Relationships. Some are really hard to maintain, and others are so easy. Sometimes you need to step away for awhile and see what made that relationship valuable to you - and is the relationship what you want it to be. Sometimes our perceptions are totally incorrect; things we thought and imagined, and believed, is just our emotions and imaginations going wild. Every relationship takes work - whether close or casual. Some relationships are just meant to be casual, and that is ok. Even siblings are not always close, although you want them to be. Each is different, as you are different.

My children and my grandchildren are always playing the "favorite" card. Little do they realize they are ALL my favorite. They all have a piece of my heart.

Do you need to do a little gardening?

Blessings!

Hadn't thought of it this way before.....

A message I heard this weekend took the scripture from Matthew 6:9-13 and focused on only two words. The first two words. But Pastor Todd Clark also made a statement which made me stop and think a bit. He said...

"The way you view your dad on earth affects how you view your Father in heaven." Huh.

As I have shared before, my father died when I was young - I turned 8 years old later that year. I don't remember much about my dad, except that he was sick a lot. My step-father was abusive - not only to me, but also to my other sisters. My view of my real father who died, and my step father who abused me, are totally different.

Matthew 6:9-13
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."


Pastor Clark shared that we have five different types of fathers:

1. Absent (whether by death, divorce, job, hobbies, or was rarely around)

2. Abusive (physical, emotional, mental)

3. Passive (didn't do anything,didn't care about anything)

4. Performance (performance based - how good were you in anything you did)

5. Empowering (encourages, praises you, prays with you, believes in you)


Children view you and how you view God.

God is not a bigger version of your earthly father.

God is not a better version of your earthly father.

God is the perfect version of your earthly father!

ONLY our God is perfect.


God is not the REFLECTION of your earthly dad. He is the PERFECTION of our earthly dad. ~~ Andy Stanley


There are four types of Answered Prayers:

1. If the request is wrontg - God says "NO". He can do that. He is God.

2. If the timing is wrong - God says "SLOW". It feels worse than 'no'. This is like when you are looking for a job, or the timing is not right for something and God has something better than what you think you should have. Don't get impatient and take the first thing that comes along - only to find your day consumed by the job or it isn't what you wanted.

3. If you are wrong - God says "GROW". These are times you need to admit and confess to God. Unconfessed sins hinders God's answer to us.

4. If the reqeust is right, the timeing is right, and you are right - God says "GO". God loves to answer us and give us what we want when we ask Him.


What were your thoughts about Father's Day this year? All of us have a father, whether they were in our lives or not. And we all have a Heavenly Father who loves us beyond measure, who cares for us, and cares about us.

Hope your day was a good one - and today will be even better.

Blessings!

Guess what day it is - Guess what day it is!!

No, it's not HUMP day - it's THURSDAY! And why am I excited about it being Thursday?

Because it is ICE CREAM DAY! Our 'Fun Committee' (of which I am a part of) designated today as Ice Cream Day and management is going to serve us ice cream this afternoon. And we will have all kinds of toppings and nuts to put on it. Whipped cream and cherries too.

But the part that is going to be the most fun, is the Ice Cream Contest. Oh yes, we have an Ice Cream Contest. Last year I declined to be a part of it for I wanted to see what was involved. When I saw one of our directors (who is on oxygen) remove her oxygen tube to participate, I knew that I was challenged to do it this year! She didn't win, but her face was in the ice cream enjoying it! Yes, it is without hands, and going at it full force with the mouth! I am participating this year and just wonder how far I can get before the 'ice cream brain freeze headache' sets in. All in all it will be a fun time - there are about 12 of us doing the contest. Life should be fun once in a while, don't you think?

It's like the Christian life. It's not always 'fun' - but it is always good. What I mean is, every one (usually) has a 'bad day' or a 'rough day' every now and then - whether you are a Christian or not. But the real deal is how do you react to it.

How do you react when things come against you? When you feel you are being mistreated. When life comes at you fast and hard and you just don't know what to do? How do you respond?

A non-Christian will usually 'attack' anyone close to them (or even a stranger for that matter) because all they can see is what they are going through. It's all about them.

But a Christian will run to God and put the matter before Him and wait upon His timing to resolve everything.

Sounds good, doesn't it? Do all Christians succeed in that? I have to probably say no. Some Christians may pray about it, and then attack. Recently I saw on the news about a pastor in California who has been arrested and charged with murder. I don't know the entire story, of course, but what I gathered was that he and his wife took a bunch of kids to Las Vegas (I don't know if they were passing through or what the deal was) and stopped at a restaurant. Supposedly some guy came up and tried to start a fight with the pastor. The pastor and his wife and the kids went into the restaurant - but then the pastor went back out and a fight started - and somehow the man fell, and I'm guessing hit his head. Six months later the man died and the pastor has now been charged with pre-meditated murder. Why did the pastor go back out? Why was there a fight? I have no idea. I'm just saying that even Christians can get caught up in things and unfortunately get involved in things they should run from.

The key thing is to run to God with any issues that come up and LEAVE IT WITH HIM. Don't carry that issue around with you so that you can use it against someone. Or take it out on someone. I know, sometimes that is hard to do. I can't tell you how many times I've given things to God, only to go over and over in my mind what the issue is about - especially if it is something done to me. I want to defend myself. I have to determine 'is it worth trying to defend myself?'. Usually it is best to not respond and just allow time to heal.

Because we have ONE who loves us unconditionally and is always available to us, it is a good day. It is always a good day. It is a fun day. It is a day to be lived.

There is a song that just popped into my mind that we used to sing a long time ago -

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
Because I know WHO holds the future,
My life is worth the living, all because He lives."

So those times when you think your troubles have the best of you, remember there is ONE who holds your future, and because of that, you can Live.

"The Lord is with you even when things look like they are against you becauuse God is looking at where He is taking you, not where you are. Trust Him.
~~Tony Evans

Blessings!

I heard some things that made sense....

now that I have your attention, I will elaborate.

I went to church with my daughter last night. The message itself was on Communion. Now don't shut your ears and roll your eyes. Communion is a good thing.

I liked how Pastor Todd reminded us that we are valuable. And how do we determine the value of something?

"The value of an item is determined by the price a person is willing to pay."

In other words, applying it to people, "The value of a person is determined by how much another person is willing to pay." We are extremely valuable. Why? Because God determined our value when He gave up His one and only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us.

Jesus let go of heaven so that He could grab hold of us. That thought alone is pretty awesome, don't you think?

Another point was to remember that we are forgiven. How many times do we have to forgive others - whether they ask for forgiveness or not - and let it go so that we don't become bitter and critical and full of ourselves? When we put our eyes on other people's past or their faults, we take our eyes off Jesus.

Pastor Perry Noble has said, "Forgiven people forgive people."

"Based on the Word of God, nothing you have done or are doing now, is too great for the cross to forgive." Those are pretty powerful words.

and lastly,

Remember Jesus is returning. We don't know when, but we know He is.

Someone asked "If God is a good God, would He allow someone to go to hell?

The answer is 'No'. God will not 'allow' someone to go to hell, but it is your choice to do so if you choose not to follow Him and accept Jesus as Lord of your life.

God loves you so much that He gave His one and only Son to die on the cross for you. Regardless of what you have done, or are doing, Jesus died for you. and for me. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.

What do you choose?

The choice is yours.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Blessings!

Thinking of God's goodness.....

Ok, I am going to revert back to a personal story, which I have probably shared before. It tells of God's faithfulness of goodness and love.

Yesterday was one of my beautiful granddaughters' birthday. Her 18th. I can't believe she is that age already! Anyway, this story is about her birth, 18 years ago. I guess I had forgotten it - afterall, one doesn't stop to think about everything all the time, correct? But this morning I was thinking of her and how much I love her. And her story came back to me. And again I thanked God and praised Him for her.

Eighteen years (and one day) ago, my very impatient to deliver daughter went to the hospital at midnight to begin the process to be induced to deliver. Wait for God to set the time? No, not her, she has to do it 'her way and in her time'. Well, it WAS time as it was the due date, I believe, but still......

Since hubby and I did not want to just sit at the hospital with nothing going on, we decided to stay at home and asked them to call us when it was getting close. We went to bed that evening thinking we might get a phone call during the night.

About 2-3AM (I can't remember the time now), I was awakened with the immediate thought that I needed to pray for my daughter and the new baby. Not hearing anything I just thought I needed to pray a covering over them. So that is what I did. I prayed for calmness, prayed for a good and safe delivery, that our new baby will be perfect and healthy and that the delivery would go well for our daughter and all would be well.

Little did I know how God was going to answer that prayer.

When we finally arose early the next morning, we found we had received a call but had not heard the phone. I can't remember now if we called our son-in-law to get the status or not, but we quickly dressed and headed to the hospital. Our new granddaughter hadn't arrived, but did appear a short time later and we were able to be there.

As I sat and held our beautiful little granddaughter shortly after she was born and daddy gave her up to me, I remembered my prayer for her during the night. I commented to my daughter of being awakened during the early morning hours and my prayer for her and my granddaughter.

My daughter's eyes filled with tears of joy and wonderment. "Mom", she said, "what time was that?" I told her around what time it was (I remembered then). She then tells me what we didn't know before. It was around that time that there appeared to be some complications with our little baby - her heart rate dropped. The nurses had run in and pushed on my daughter's stomach, trying to get the heart rate up. They were considering a stat c-section.

Then things calmed down and the heart rate came up and stablized. The induction proceeded as it should, with our little one making her appearance after our arrival at the hospital.

Do I believe God intervened at that moment? I do with all my heart. He blessed me by allowing me to be a part of bringing life into the world by waking me to pray for her. He created our little princess in her mother's womb. He developed her. He delivered her and brought her into this world. He was gracious and let me pray life over her. God is good. Our princess was His before she was even born. And she is His now.

I am sure I got times wrong, and maybe even a little bit of the "story".... afterall, it was 18 years ago and I'm trying to go from memory, and my memory isn't that good anymore. But the story is the same. It never changes.

God loves us, He created us, and He gives us life. All praise, honor and glory is His alone.

Blessings!

Are You Approachable?

I read a book recently that had this section in it about approachability:

Years ago there was a piece called “The Art of Getting Along,” which stated,

Sooner or later, a man, if he is wise, discovers that life is a mixture of good days and bad, victory and defeat, give and take. He learns that it doesn’t pay to be a too-sensitive soul, that he should let some things go over his head like water off a duck’s back. He learns that he who loses his temper usually loses out, that all men have burnt toast for breakfast now and then, and that he shouldn’t take the other fellow’s grouch too seriously.

He learns that carrying a chip on his shoulder is the easiest way to get into trouble, that the quickest way to become unpopular is to carry tales of gossip about others, that buck-passing always turns out to be a boomerang, that it doesn’t matter so much who gets the credit so long as the job gets done.

He learns that most others are as ambitious as he is, that they have brains as good or better, that hard work, not cleverness, is the secret of success. He learns that no man ever gets to first base alone, and that it is only through cooperative effort that we move on to better things.

He realizes (in short) that the “art of getting along” depends about 98 percent on his own behavior toward others.

If you want to make yourself agreeable and approachable to others, then you need to put them at ease. The book then went on to share how to make yourself approachable.

But then, I guess the real question is - do you WANT to be approachable? I would think we all do, to some extent. True, there are some people we wish would stay away from us - but there are many others that we like to be around. It doesn't matter where you are, or what you are doing - we all have people in our lives that we have to look at how to approach them.

There are some that always walk around with a chip on their shoulder so you have to be careful what you say to them, and how you say it, or they will explode on you.

There are some that are huggers who just love everyone and gives everyone a hug - the 'chip on the shoulder' ones as well.

Then there are some that are standoffish, distancing themselves from everyone. I think they have the least amount of fun. I mean, what fun is it if you just show up and don't participate in anything? B-O-R-I-N-G.

We all have good days and bad days, days in which we succeed at all our tasks for that day - and days that we don't quite make the grade. What is important is what effort we put into that day.

Do we try to keep focused and keep going - or do we slack off and let things fall where they may? Some of us can't do that. I have one son who delivers parts to different locations throughout the valley. He also has to load his truck each morning before he leaves. If he just threw the parts onto the truck in any manner, if he just grabbed some things here and there and didn't keep things organized so he not only knew where they were, but that they were in one piece, his job would not last long. He has to make sure each part gets delivered timely to specific locations in good condition. He can't say, 'Oh, I forgot that one, will get it next time if I remember', or he wouldn't have a job for long. He is depended up on to complete the task assigned to him.

And although it may be hot and sticky out, he knows that he needs to maintain a good attitude when he delivers these parts. It's his job. And he has learned to do it well. It doesn't matter if he has had a bad morning, or having a bad day. He has to determine if he will let that control the rest of his day or will he rise about it.

We all have been around people with a 'chip on their shoulder' and usually start to back off from them because we don't want to set them off. Until we have had enough then we give them a chip off of our shoulder!

One thing I have discovered over the years - be careful, very careful, about giving someone a 'piece of your mind'. I've discovered I can't afford to lose any of my mind. It isn't easy to end a disagreement by not responding. But sometimes that is what you need to do.

So for today - think about how you get along with others. Do you go around with a chip on your shoulder? Do you blame others for your attitude? Do you complain and whine about how you are this way because you have always been this way? Then stop it. Determine that your behavior will be a positive influence - not only for others - but for yourself. You will find that when you think positive thoughts, it soon will be a natural decision to have a good, approachable behavior.

Have a great hump day!

Blessings!

Attitude Living

Attitude living, like attitude flying, says "my attitude dictates my performance." That "canopy" represents a lot of ground to cover in one book. We'll need to examine:

What is an attitude, and why is it important?

What are the necessary ingredients for a high-performance attitude? What causes an attitude to become negative, disappointing? How can a wrong attitude that is working against us be turned around to work for us?

Hardly a day passes without the word "attitude" entering a conversation. It may be used as a complaint or a compliment. It could mean the difference between a promotion or a demotion. Sometimes we sense it, other times we see it. Yet, it is difficult to explain.

The attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior.

that is why an attitude can be seen without a word being said. Haven't we all noticed "the pout" of the sulker, or "the jutted jaw" of the determined? Of all the things we wear, our expression is the most important.

The Bible teaches us "....God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (I Samuel 16:7). "The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). These statements express our inability to know for sure what emotions are going on inside someone else. Yet, while we refrain from judging others by their outward expressions, many times the outward actions becomes a "window to the soul." A person who gives "a look that kills," probably is not inwarding singing "Something Good is Going to Happen to You."

Since an attitude often is expressed by our body language and by the looks on our faces, it can be contagious. Have you noticed what happens to a group of people when one person, by his expression, reveals a negative attitude? Or have you noticed the lift you receive when a friend's facial expression shows love and acceptance?

David's music and presence encouraged a troubled King Saul. Scripture tells us "the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord terrorized him" (I Samuel 16:14). The king's men were told to find someone who could lift their ruler's spirit. They brought David into the palace and "Saul loved him greatly."

Sometimes the attitude can be masked outwardly, and others who see us are fooled. But usually the cover-ups will not last long. There is that constant struggle as the attitude tries to wiggle its way out.

The simplicity of "Trust and Obey," that great hymn of James H. Sammis, points to the importance of our obedient attitude to our spiritual growth.

"While we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with those who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey for there's no other way,
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."

Not to say my mother was perfect by any means, as none of us are, but this was one of her favority hymns and I can still hear her singing it.

Whatever Jesus says to you, do it, even though....
1. You are not in the "right place".

2. You have a lot of problems.

3. You are not encouraged.

4. You have not walked with Him very long.

5. You have not seen Him work miracles in your life.

6. You don't understand the entire process.

A hardened attitude is a dreaded disease. It causes a closed mind and a dark future. When the attitude is positive and conducive to growth, the mind expands and the progress beings.

"Do you feel the world is treating you well? If your attitude toward the world is excellent, you will receive excellent results. If you feel so-so about the world, your response from that world will be average. Feel badly about your world, and you will seem to have only negative feedback from life." ~~ John Maxwell.

Couldn't think of anything to write about this morning so thought we all could use an attitude adjustment in some way. John Maxwell provides just that. Hope that you have a good, positive attitude today!

Blessings!