The 'testimony thing' has been on my mind and yesterday afternoon I was able to get some things down on paper. One thing has troubled me, though, and I may ask about it. I received a text from our pastor's wife who is over the women's ministries pretty much, and the text asked us to 'label' what was.... and she listed some labels - i.e., rejected, teen mom, suicidal, widow, divorced... I don't want to have that label. Yes, I've been divorced, but that has nothing to do with what I was or am now. I want to use the positive word of 'REDEEMED'. We need to have our 'word' so that they will put us in a certain order. I just felt the negativity when I read the words. She says it is just to get an understanding of what we will be sharing and to determine which order they will go in. Still... so I have been pondering on that 'word' to describe my past. I know I"m rambling here... bear with me, please... just trying to identify a word in my mind that would work. The only word that I can come up with from the root of my life... is worthless. Yet, even though that is what I felt at that time, is that true? I don't know. We have a zoom call on July 1 so just need to have a 'word' by then. I'm still pondering.
So if you had to choose a word to describe who you 'were', versus who you are now, what would it be? Maybe that is something you can think about. Do you want that label of the past on you now? Or do you prefer the 'label' of what you are now, or where you see your future being?
I know - deep stuff, huh? But that is what has been on my mind. I'll forget about it for a bit but I know it will come back to 'haunt' me to figure it out.
We were up after 10PM last night watching movies, so I slept in until 5AM this morning. I probably could have slept more, but I could hear/feel hubby moving around as he was waking up. So here I sit. I've read my Bible, wrote my prayers, gone through emails, and here I am. Once I get off here I will read a bit. Already made myself a second cup of coffee. Flavored too. :-)
Nothing on the agenda that I can think of this morning for today. I'd love just to be able to grab a book and spend the day reading.... but I know I'll need to cook breakfast to get our day going... then who knows what hubby will 'suggest' we do. Just because he 'rests' all week and does the things he wants to do... he thinks that my weekends should be his time of us doing things together. Sigh. Thursday and Friday this week he started on it... lunch time... I sometimes just grab something and sit at my desk and eat... just like at the office... but he kept nagging 'don't you get an hour lunch? Come and sit at the table (with him) and eat lunch.... sigh... and finally Friday I gave in. Of course I had to fix lunch (could that be why he pushes on it? He wants me to figure out lunch?) for us to eat. There I go grumbling again, huh.
Romans 5:3-4 (ESV): "We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope."
Have you ever thought how going through pain, or painful things, shapes us? Or helps shape our future? Think about this....
* You have a disagrement with a friend, or your child, or even your spouse. If we stop and process what the disagreement was about, before our anger and frustration took over, we perhaps may learn something of value. What was the root of the issue? Was it they didn't understand something and so didn't respond the way you wanted them to about a situation? Was it they perhaps had a tough day and they were tired and mentally worn, and all they wanted was quiet and you wanted to talk - and they snapped at you? Perhaps it was you who had a bad day and just wanted to be alone and process what had happened... or you couldn't really understand what you were feeling and just wanted to be left alone?
* You may have lost a loved one; a child, a spouse, a parent - or they have been seriously sick or hurt - It's always hard when it is someone close to you. Do you have anguish over your lack of being able to prevent it? To 'fix' the problem? It is painful to see someone you love and care about suffer...and you feel helpless to help them.
* You wanted a child and yet you were left barren.... remember Hannah from the Bible? Remember how her husband loved her and thought he ws enough, and yet the second wife taunted Hannah because she had children and Hannah was barren. And Hannah sought God in desperation ... and He heard her prayer and her cry and gave her what she asked for. A son.
* You may be going through difficult financial times... perhaps even through no fault of your own. It's painful when you feel helpless and hopeless. And yet... when Job lost his children, his finances, all he owned... he refused to curse God. He basically said, "I came from the womb with nothing, and I shall leave with nothing." But you know what? He got to hear God's voice! Yeah, God kind of got 'in his face' about Job's questions.... but if Job had not gone through all his suffering, he would not have had that discussion with God. And then God blessed him twice as much as he had before... except for his children - ten children before; ten children after. His poor wife! LOL
Our sufferings last only a little while. But it is through those sufferings that if we lean into Jesus and seek Him... we will find our peace, our comfort, and yes, even joy. As I have shared many times in here, I have gone through a lot of stuff in my life. Some things I will never share with anyone, but I know that God knows. Some 'secrets' are meant to remain that. It isn't that I want to protect myself... but sometimes I just want to protect others. God knows, and that's all that matters.
My life was pretty bad, and I jumped from the frying pan into the fire (remember that saying?). But God. When I ran to Him, He held out His arms to me and welcomed me next to His heart. My joy has been made complete. Doesn't mean my life has been perfect since then. Definitely not. I still go through many struggles, much pain, much anguish of soul. But this I know. I have been saved, sanctified, and set free from my past, and in that, I can rejoice.
A favorite song of mine is 'Redeemer'. I often have thought I want it played at my funeral. Have you ever listened to the words? It's a song by Nicole Mullens. I really think the title should be 'I know my Redeemer lives'.... But Nicole C Mullens shared that she wrote the song after she read what Job said in the Bible. "Job said, 'I know that my Redeemer lives and at the last day, He will stand upon the earth.""
https://youtu.be/b1i0KxhfwyE
I know that my Redeemer lives, I know my Redeemer lives. All of creation testifies, this life within me cries, I know, my Redeemer lives....
Take a; moment and check out that link... listen to the words. They will bring you an experience that you may never have felt before. Are you willing to listen?
Blessings!
