and I still have that contract to figure out! The one that got cancelled because a leader had not approved it in a timely manner. So many of the questions I do not know. So I did screen prints and sent to my boss and asked him to give me answers. So what did I see in an email after 5PM? "What is this for?" What does he think it is for? Sure do hope he will respond to my response this morning so that I can get it done before we leave today. I am taking off early - whether the contract is completed or not.
Yes, this day is finally here! And I heard that we are 'supposed' to have rain and cold up north. Which isn't a big deal as we don't plan to go anywhere, being as it is a retreat. BUT, I have prayed and asked for warmer weather and no rain.... so that we can open up the balcony doors and have fresh air come in. And yes, I'm taking my 'blankie' with me; I am ALWAYS cold. Taking my warm pajamas and robe too - and warm stockings I got for Christmas! I don't do cold real well.
And the thought lingers in the back of my mind that nearly two years ago, the last time we were there at this hotel, and will probably be given the same room as we have the deluxe suite to have more room.... the thoughts of how sick I got... it has taken nearly two years for me to get past what it was. I wish I had thought more clearly then. The people before us apparently had a dog... and apparently left an odor in the room to which the cleaning people literally had to have dumped every cleaning product imaginable on to the carpet to get it out. I am pretty sure that because it was so cold, and wet (it was April), that having to leave the balcony doors shut for long periods (opening only until I got so cold we had to shut them), I breathed in all those fumes. I'm still surprised that hubby wasn't affected at all, or didn't seem to be. But it sure knocked me on my butt. Sleep and throw up was all I wanted to do - and sneeze. All the time. Anyway - that's in the past... but it still lingers in my thoughts. THIS time, any odor will cause them to move us to another room!!
I plan to take my computer and hopefully will be able to write in here. But if not, we will be back home on Saturday and I'll be back on schedule Sunday morning. Maybe.
Yesterday was interesting. For me, personally, I mean. I'm going to get personal here and share something. Hope that you don't mind. Hubby was gone most of the morning as he had his gym appointment, then was meeting a friend for breakfast, then going to Men's Warehouse to pick up some pants that he had ordered (he loves that he can be 'fitted'). While he was gone, I was working, but all of a sudden, I found myself bursting out with song, making up verses and just singing to the Lord as I worked. I have not done that in a long, long time. But what is remarkable, besides my singing loudly (after all, no one was home but me), the heaviness that I have felt for so long.... lifted. I can't explain it. But while I was singing praises to God, whatever had been weighing me down mentally and physically, just lifted. I felt more 'free' than I have in several months. As if burdens had been removed from me.
All because I was singing praises to Jesus my King.
Hubby came home during this time - and the heaviness didn't come back, I'm happy to report. He had heard me singing when he opened the back door and commented on it. He asked if he had heard me singing, and I said 'yes'. And he dropped it. Glad he did, for no one likes to be called out and 'why were you singing, etc.".
So hubby didn't want to go to church last night for prayer meeting, and I at first thought I'd stay home too, but then decided I needed to. So I went, and I'm glad I did. I sat in the back instead of the 3rd row as we usually do together. There were maybe 75 people there. When it was over, I decided to give our pastor's wife a hug so went over to her and gave her a hug.... and she hugged me back. We had a short conversation, and I started my way to the door. Our pastor was up front and talking with a few people and I paused and decided to give him a 'side hug' and head on out the door. What happened next really surprised me. Now he is huge (like 400 pounds huge) and as I put my arm on his shoulder, he stopped talking to the others and put his other arm around me and said "God bless you. We love you guys so much, so much! You need to know that! We really love you guys!" I just said "I know, and we love you too", and walked on out the door. It really made me feel good - and loved. But it did cause me to wonder what brought that up. I wonder if he had heard 'we might be leaving'. We aren't.... but it's interesting how rumors get started.
But all evening, and even this morning, I feel more alive than I have felt in a long time. What is the difference? I don't know. Unless.... when I sung the praises of God to Him and told Him in song how much I loved Him, and thanked Him for all His goodness to us... to me... for answers to prayers spoken and unspoken.... and the heaviness lifted. Yeah, I think I will keep that up, for I feel so much more alive now than I have felt in a long time.
I briefly prayed as we prepared for bed that hubby and I would both get a deep, restful sleep. And God answered. I slept the best I have slept in a long time. My alarm went off at 4AM and I thought to myself "naw, I can sleep another hour." And turned it off and I did sleep another 45 minutes before waking up. I really wanted to go back to sleep again, it felt so good, but I got up and came in here. Hubby got up a few minutes later and brought my coffee in. (Yes, I'm spoiled. I could get my own coffee, but he likes to brag about the Bible book 'Hebrews' (He-brews for those that don't get it). Anyway, tomorrow we will be able to sleep later if we want... a little. I think breakfast starts at 6:30AM and hubby likes his breakfast early. We will get dressed and head down for breakfast and then back to our room to read and pray. Last time we were there, I think, we had biscuits and gravy, eggs, bacon and sausage, waffles, bagels, yogurt, oatmeal... I can't remember it all. But, we are usually not there on a weekday so am not sure what they will have Friday morning... but the weekends they generally expect more people and have more. We'll get it Saturday morning before preparing to head back home that afternoon. Hubby is still trying to get me to stay an extra night, but I say no. And talking about biscuits and gravy sure has made me hungry - although I have never made biscuits and gravy... I buy it, but not make it.... but I am getting hungry....
I John 4:18 (NIV): "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
Now that is an interesting verse, you think? When you love, and are loved, there is no fear. Jesus gives us perfect love, His perfect love, and we have no fear of Him. We are not punished; we are loved. Our fear of punishment comes from our sins, not from Him. Jesus loves us, in spite of our sins. But we have to come to Him and ask forgiveness to receive the full gift of His salvation, in which we are truly set free. Have you done that yet?
I John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Just like the song we learned years ago - 'What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Oh, precious is the flow, that washes white as snow. No other fount I know, nothing but the blood of Jesus.'
Just ask Jesus to pour out His blood upon you, forgive you, and cleanse you of all your sins. We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. But greater is He who is in you, than he who is in the world. Accept His forgiveness, freely given, freely received. You will experience true life. Freedom. Burdens lifted. Fears removed. Healing begins in the mind, and in the body. Do you believe? Reach out and touch the hem of His garment. Receive His healing flow in to you. There is nothing like it.
Blessings!
